I'm Better Than Liquor

  • BearGirl

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    "That sounds difficult," Monica said softly as she followed his line of sight and looked over the landscape as well. She let out a sigh. "I have been able to keep him off my mind, thanks to you. Though part of me still feels like this isn't real. Like it's some bad dream and when I wake up, everything will be the same again. That he hadn't... that he hadn't done the things that I know he did. But I know that this bubble is going to pop once he is in front of me. Once I have to confront him. Part of me wishes I could just disappear and not have to see him at all but I know it's not an option. If I don't, I know I'll regret it. Though another part of me also worries that I'll end up decking him the moment he is in my sights."

    Monica shook her head a bit before turning her back towards the landscape. A deep frown was settled into her features as she shoved her hands into her pockets. "I am planning on packing as much as I can while he is out of the apartment today." She told him as she looked back at Alex. "I'll have to leave the bigger things behind for now but I doubt I'll be able to pick them up tomorrow without having to get into another fight with him. So, I might just leave it for another time when he is out... maybe get my friends to help me." She gave him a small shrug.

    The young woman glanced down at her watch for a moment before reaching up and rubbing her forehead. Luckily, she knew her boyfriend's schedule pretty well. "I should actually be heading to his apartment kinda soon if I want time to get what I want before he gets back. Are you okay with heading back now?
    September 4th, 2019 at 04:29am
  • castle.

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    Alex gave a tired sort of smile, nodding at Monica's words. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, glancing down to his feet. He shifted for a moment before looking back up to Monica. He had to hold back a sigh, not wanting Monica to think that he was upset with her for venting. It was just that he felt completely awful for her. He wanted to be able to do more for her but it seemed impossible. Her situation wasn't going to be pleasant, not for a long while. Alex didn't like to see people in pain, especially since he knew what she was going to be facing when they returned home.

    Alex cleared his throat, tilting his head to the side as he listened to Monica talking about what she would have to leave behind. "You should probably not leave anything behind. Because if he gets vindictive and decides to do something to whatever..." he trailed off, shrugging. It was obvious he wasn't too keen on the idea. "I can probably gather a couple friends. If you can stomach putting off leaving him until the day after tomorrow."

    Nodding, Alex turned and started leading the way back down the trail. "You can always just pack a bag and we can go back to actually pack or whatever after. But ultimately, whatever you decide is fine," he offered. He glanced toward her, giving a tentative nod of his head. "You don't have to decide now either. THere's plenty of time between now and when we get back home so mull it over. Let me know what you decide, okay?" Alex suggested, figuring it was probably the best option there was but he wasn't going to make the final call for her.
    October 5th, 2019 at 12:23am
  • BearGirl

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    Silence fell over Monica for a few long moments before she slowly nodded to him. She knew that Alex was right, that she should not leave something behind. In her heart, she knew that her boyfriend would do something to her items if she left it there, especially with how the breakup was sure to go down. Though part of Monica also didn't care. So what if he tore up the couch? She wanted out now. But it would be a decision Monica would later regret.

    Her head dropped a bit before she gave Alex a small nod. "Okay, I can wait," Monica said softly. It was clear she wasn't too pleased with having to put any of it off, but she also knew that Alex was completely right. "I know I'll care if he ruins my stuff once I move into my new apartment so it's better to just get it all at once."

    Monica glanced over at Alex for a moment as he mentioned them heading to the apartment so she could pack up a bag for the next two days. She shifted a bit uncomfortably on her feet. At some point, she would have to go back, but she didn't want to possibly run into him when she didn't have at least most of her stuff out. That would be a disaster. But all she had was a phone, a 'night out' outfit and whatever they just bought at the store. And she couldn't just keep using Alex's things. "If I am going to pick up anything, we should go now because I don't want to run into him until I am ready."
    October 11th, 2019 at 12:12am
  • castle.

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    Alex let the car drift into silence as he started the drive home, figuring that Monica would appreciate the silence other than the roar of the car's engine and the music playing over the car radio. His fingers tapped against the gear shift but he didn't bother to say anything else, his own thoughts drifting to the changes that they were about to go through. Alex didn't have any idea how long Monica would end up spending in his apartment but he thought that they could get along. He hoped like hell that they wouldn't end up butting heads and more importantly, that he wouldn't end up regretting this decision.

    When Monica broke the silence, Alex looked up and was quick to give a nod of his head. "As long as you're sure. I don't want you to feel like you don't have a choice," he added in a soft tone. Right now, Monica's entire life was going to chaos. The last thing she needed was a practical stranger forcing her to make a decision about something.

    Once they got back into town, Alex glanced Monica's way. He gave her a gentle smile, raising an eyebrow. "Just point me in the right direction. We can stop somewhere after, so we can get a bite to eat. If that works for you," he added. Once Monica started leading him in the right direction, Alex turned down the music so he could focus on her directions a bit more. Alex readjusted in his seat when he pulled onto her street, all but ready to defend Monica should her ex end up being home. Otherwise, he would just wait outside for her to pack a bag.
    October 19th, 2019 at 11:48pm
  • BearGirl

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    Monica quietly told Alex the directions to her apartment as he drove. She could feel the dread entering her the closer they got to the apartment. Alex was right, that she should pick up some of her things before he helped her move out. But, she was afraid. Afraid that she would see her soon to be ex. And, she didn't quite feel prepared to enter the home they had made together. Even once they were parked outside of the apartment, it took Monica a few moments before she took a deep breath and left the car.

    Before she closed the door though, Monica turned back to Alex. "I'll be down in a few minutes." She told him before closing the door and making her way into the apartment building. Part of her wanted to bring Alex along with her, in case her boyfriend was there, but she knew that would only make the situation worse if he was. Besides, Monica knew his schedule pretty well at that point. He had to be at work right now.

    It wasn't long until Monica was walking back to the car, holding a suitcase and a large weekender bag on her shoulder. Her eyes were large and puffy though, a few tears running down her cheeks. Once her bags were in the car, she slid into the passenger seat and pressed her shirt onto her face, trying her best to calm down again, to stop herself from crying.
    October 24th, 2019 at 03:01am
  • castle.

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    Alex wanted to join Monica when she started up toward her apartment but he resisted the urge. Monica was nothing but a... friend? He thought that was a good way to put their relationship since she was going to be moving in with him shortly. He didn't think there was any other way to put it and he definitely knew that there was no way he had a right to follow after her. He was supposed to remain on the sidelines for something like this.

    Alex sat up straight, looking around as he waited for Monica to join him. He had no clue what her boyfriend looked like but he knew that he didn't want to leave Monica alone with him. He was just relieved when Monica appeared with two bags in tow. He unlocked the trunk ad waited for her, hesitating to help her put her bags away. Alex had no way of knowing if she'd be offended.

    When Monica settled into her seat, he threw caution right out the window. He undid his seatbelt and twisted around, reaching out to wrap his arms around her shoulders. He pulled her close, massaging gentle designs into her scalp. "It's okay to be upset, y'know," he murmured, trying to offer her some sort of comfort. Alex didn't know if he was being too much but he hoped that he wasn't.
    November 9th, 2019 at 05:15pm
  • BearGirl

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    As Alex pulled her into his chest, Monica followed without resistance. Her face pressed into his shirt, her hands reaching out and lightly grabbing onto his shirt, wanting something to hold onto. Though as Alex tried to soothe her, it only caused Monica to cry harder than before. Especially as Alex said that it was okay to be upset. Monica could feel herself breaking down in his arms, but the strange thing was that she felt safe to do so.

    "It's not fair." Monica cried into Alex. "He fucked up, not me. I'm the one hurting but he was the one who did it. I-I shouldn't have to be so broken up about someone like that." Her hands gripped out his shirt tighter for a moment before wrapping her arms around Alex tightly, keeping him close. "B-But it hurts. It's tearing me up. I-I know what we were like before all of this... fuck, I loved him."

    Monica let out another sob before pressing her face against his chest harder. She was basically over the arm compartment in the car, trying to stick close to Alex. His tight hug and gentle massage on her head were the only two things bringing her some comfort.
    November 19th, 2019 at 04:15am
  • castle.

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    Alex couldn't say he had ever been in a long term relationship - he just had never found a woman that he felt that drawn to. He had been young and what he thought was in love at one point but the girl had broken his heart. After that, Alex had sworn off the idea of love. He had had flings from time to time, sure, but nothing that lasted for more than a few months. Particularly if the woman got too attached to him.

    As he pulled Monica into his chest, Alex was convinced that he was only offering comfort as a friend. As a decent person. Because when you saw someone so upset, you had to help them. Right? That was how Alex saw it. Alex had seen Monica at her most defeated point the night before and now, Alex was sure she was turning the corner to recovery. It would be a long and hard road but she was on it, at least.

    "I know. But some people, people like him.." Alex trailed off, brushing his fingers through Monica's hair. "They don't think about what they make others feel. They're selfish and that's why he did what he did. It was a quick high, not because he set out to hurt you. But if he'll do it once, he'll do it again. And you don't deserve that."
    November 25th, 2019 at 03:50am
  • BearGirl

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    All Monica was able to do was nod against Alex's chest, unable to speak any more, not wanting to try to keep talking through her cries. She hated this, hated all of this. It was torture and Monica knew it wasn't even halfway over yet. There was still so much she had to endure to get to the other side. And, unfortunately, her break up was still one of them. Though, as strange as it was, a thought did move through her mind as she thought how hard it was going to be to really get through this. 'At least Alex will help'. It seemed silly to count on a strange so much, but she really was holding onto this hope that Alex would be able to lift her back up when she felt as though she couldn't even breathe.

    "I hate him," Monica said a bit weakly into Alex's shirt. As much as it would be easier, it wasn't totally true. She hated what he did, how he made her feel. But she wasn't ready to turn her heart on him so quickly. Monica couldn't trust him, wouldn't go back to him, wasn't going to let him do this to her. But she wasn't ready to hate him, at least not yet. But it felt a lot easier to say that she did.

    It took Monica sometime before she was willing to pull away from Alex. Though once she did, she settled back into the seat and pressed into it. Her head was dropped low and she rubbed her face with her sleeves. "I want to leave," Monica whispered.
    December 3rd, 2019 at 04:04am
  • castle.

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    "No," Alex responded quietly. He shook his head, running his fingers through her hair gently. He wished that he could do more to help her but she was suffering through something that she would have to work through on her own. The most that he was going to be able to do was show her that she wasn't alone - that Alex was here for her. That he had no intention of hurting her, especially not in the way that her ex boyfriend had. "You don't hate him but I'll tell you something that you might not know yet," he said, offering her a sad sort of smile.

    "It's okay to not hate him. You gave him your heart and let him in and he betrayed that trust. But that doesn't mean you're not going to love him right away. That's going to take time. Just like healing from what he did will. But... it will happen. Just remember that you have to continue on until it doesn't hurt so much," Alex said. He fell silent, continuing to just play with her hair as he let her digest what he'd just said. When Monica said she wanted to leave, he gave a quick nod of his head. His arms dropped from her waist so she could settle back into her seat properly.

    Alex drove back to his place, his head resting against the edge of Monica's seat in case she wanted to take it for some sort of comfort. WHen he parked, Alex was quick to climb out and hurry around to help her out. "Come on, let's get you inside. I'm sure I have some ice cream and then you can settle in and watch some shitty romcom movie. If you want," he teased, figuring she'd like the idea. Or at least he hoped she would.
    December 30th, 2019 at 01:50am
  • BearGirl

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    As Alex started to drive, Monica took the time to mull over what he had said to her. He was right, of course, that she didn't hate her boyfriend. Even after what he had done to her, there was too much history there to ignore those feelings in an instant. Though, she wished that wasn't the case. God, Monica wished she could just be one of those girls who burned their ex's shit and moved on with ease but she had never been like that.

    Her eyes slowly shifted down to see Alex's hand resting against the edge of her seat. She hesitated for a moment before reaching down and gently wrapping her hand around his. Monica wanted the comfort that Alex was more than ready to offer her. She wanted his help and advice. At least, Monica was not doing this along. Somehow, the universe had been kind enough to give her him.

    When they were parked and Alex helped her out, Monica looked back at the car and the things that were in it for a moment. She wasn't up for unpacking and it seemed that Alex already had other ideas for them. Monica looked to Alex and nodded slowly to him. "Yes, I would like that a lot." Monica told him gently before she laid her head on his shoulder. Soon enough, they were in his apartment and Monica was falling back into his couch.
    January 3rd, 2020 at 02:38am
  • castle.

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    Alex was surprised when Monica reached for his hand but he was quick to offer her the comfort that she was seeking. He wanted to help her in any way that he could. He couldn't describe why he felt the need to help her so much but it was there and he couldn't seem to ignore it, now that he had acknowledged it. He wasn't about to tell Monica any of that though because he didn't want to crowd her. Monica deserved to heal in her own time without worrying about any of what Alex wanted or didn't want.

    He decided that he could leave Monica's things in his car for now. He'd worry about bringing it inside later on in the day. For now, Alex decided that getting Monica settled in and distracted as much as he could would be a bit more of a priority. Alex smiled as he led Monica inside, giving her a light squeeze when she set her head on his shoulder.

    "Go get changed back into your pajamas. I'll go get changed and then grab the ice cream," he commented. Alex ruffled her hair, giving her a goofy grin before heading into his bedroom. Alex grabbed a pair of shorts and a plain shirt before he headed into the bathroom so that Monica could get changed in the bedroom. As soon as he was finished, Alex headed into the kitchen and checked his freezer. Sure enough there were a few pints of ice cream for her to choose from so he grabbed his favourite, the peanut butter brownie one.

    When Monica appeared, Alex gave her a gentle smile. "You can grab whatever ice cream you want and then pick whatever movie you want us to watch, hm?"
    January 23rd, 2020 at 03:56am
  • BearGirl

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    As Monica listened to Alex's ideas, she started to feel cared for. It wasn't enough to cause a smile to come across her lips or for her to feel better, but it was definitely nice to feel like someone was going to try to make things a little less shitty. So when Alex told her to go get changed into her pajamas, she gave Alex a small nod before heading into the bedroom and closing the door. She took a moment to collect herself before pulling on some pajama shorts and a sweatshirt. After a few minutes, Monica headed out of the bedroom and came out into the living space.

    Her eyes dropped to Alex and the gentle smile that was across his face. "Thank you, Alex," Monica said softly before opening up the freezer and glancing inside. After pulling out the chocolate moose tracks, Monica made her way over to the couch and sat down. With that, Monica pulled a blanket over herself and pressed back into the cushions. Picking up the remote on the couch, Monica glanced down at it for a moment before lifting her head up and looking to him. "I am really thankful that you're helping me through this... it means a lot."

    For a moment, Monica was quiet before she flipped through Netflix, eventually picking How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.
    January 26th, 2020 at 12:24am
  • castle.

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    Alex could see just how upset Monica was and it made him feel awful because he knew that there wasn’t really anything that he could do about it. He wasn’t used to being in a situation where he couldn’t really do anything at all. At work, Alex was a head bartender. At home, he was the only one who got to tell him what to do. Though he supposed, now Monica would be living with him for a bit. He wasn’t sure how long that would last but he was going to try his hardest to ease Monica’s pain as much as he could, while he still had the time to.

    Settled down on the couch, Alex was already digging into his ice cream with a fork. Most people seemed to think he was crazy because he ate ice cream with a fork but it was far easier to eat it that way. He wasn’t trying to shovel a frozen mess. Alex only looked up from his ice cream when Monica broke the silence. He gave her a gentle smile, shrugging his shoulders. “Don’t mention it. You’re not in the best of positions and I get that. It’s not fair and I didn’t want you to be on the hook for anything. You shouldn’t be forced to stay in a shitty situation because of shitty people. It’s just not... fair,” Alex grumbled. It was so simple to him because it was just the right thing to do. His mother had always raised him to do anything he could, if he had the opportunity.

    Alex glanced toward the television, letting out a small laugh when he realized what Monica had picked out. “You gonna try to get rid of me in ten days or less?” He teased, nudging her with his foot since he was on the other side of the couch from her.
    February 13th, 2020 at 01:11am