300 Confessions Way

  • losing control.

    losing control. (4250)

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    what a strange constellation they all were

    Welcome to the new Raven Cycle themed confessions thread! As always, feel free to get anything and everything off your chest (just be sure to avoid any bashing!)

    Confess away, friends!


    Reminder: Confessions is not a conversational thread like WAYT. This thread is for Mibbians to post their feelings in a safe environment. If you would like to reply to a post, please make sure you add your own confession to the post, or reply on the Mibbian's profile or through a PM.
    January 12th, 2019 at 02:36am
  • VixL

    VixL (100)

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    I just drank two glasses of wine and feel all fuzzy. Which basically could describe my mind as I was on my first day at the daycare center today. I literally fet my soul leave my body towards the end. I was so jumbled up. OMFG
    January 12th, 2019 at 03:19am
  • the god of thunder.

    the god of thunder. (300)

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    Cheese new fessions.
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    finally found the right person to refer to me with a different pronoun. I'm sort of flexing it so I don't get uncomfortable and immediately recede out of fear of people being dicks. never a better time for baby steps, but damn if they don't feel g o o d a s f u k k.
    January 12th, 2019 at 08:54pm
  • the god of mischief.

    the god of mischief. (250)

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    I just managed to call a total stranger and set up a schedule with them for tomorrow. Swoon I the anxiety level was unreal. So here’s to hoping it actually goes well tomorrow!
    January 14th, 2019 at 01:14am
  • raja sahara

    raja sahara (100)

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    Jesus fucking Christ, I need a new job. I hate what I do, I hate certain coworkers, and most of all, I (and everyone else) hate my boss.

    Worst part is, I think I'm just gonna die here.
    January 14th, 2019 at 04:48pm
  • danny sexbang.

    danny sexbang. (100)

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    Little victories. Set up the water/sewage and electric under my name today, so don't need to worry about those being suddenly shut off! Yay! Next is the internet, but I'll set that up when I get home today. This house stuff is wild to me because me just last year would be absolutely terrified of having to do such a thing (because UGH PHONE CALLS), so I'm almost grateful for the forced growth. almost. only because i know i can't rely on anyone else in this house to do it.
    edit: and just like that, I feel like crumbling down. Even more proof I can't rely on anyone (other than James for some things). Our fourth roommate backed out of moving in. Now everything is split three ways. We haven't even seen our utility bills yet and I know I can't afford it. I was barely affording splitting four ways. And knowing that the fourth dude was previous roommates with our current one, how long is this guy gonna stay knowing that his friend isn't staying with us anymore? Who could we possibly take in on such a short notice to help with rent?

    I don't even want to live at this house, if I'm honest. I'd rather have an apartment space with just James. Less for me to worry about. Newer furnishings meaning no faulty electricity and water pipes, or peeling bathroom accents, or dust and dog dander everywhere. This place isn't worth $750+ to me. It was barely worth the $600. And the whole thing with the landlord threatening to demolish both houses on the lot in six months to make a bigger house? This no longer feels worth the stress and effort. But I'm scared James will be upset at the fact that I want to jump ship so quickly. It's only been two weeks and I'm regretting so much.
    January 14th, 2019 at 11:53pm
  • lozzieee who.

    lozzieee who. (610)

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    I've been doing so well and then I wake up late feeling just a touch off, and two hours later I want to shove my head through a wall. There's nothing wrong, no one has done anything to upset me not even myself, and yet I can feel the burn in my head and guts that says I should be miserable. And the more I try to ignore it the more it pushes itself to the forefront. I should feel amazing, I just handed in my first postgrad essay and I'm 85% of the way through my second, and I have ideas for numbers 3 and 4 and for my dissertation.

    Maybe that's why I feel rubbish, I've been feeling good and kicking bottom and I'm inherently self destructive. I need to find ways to stop it happening like this. I don't deserve to feel this way when I'm trying so hard and I'm sick of letting it happen to me. I just wish I knew how to control it more, I've come so far but I'm still on a knife's edge between okay and spiralling every day. I'm recognising my strengths and the positive steps I'm making. I'm trying to look after myself more. It will work. It will. One day it'll work.
    January 15th, 2019 at 04:02pm
  • padme;

    padme; (100)

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    I am so sleepy right now and I have no idea why. I may go take a nap. No, I shall go take a nap. Sleep here I come JK, the boyfriend is on his way to get me. I'll have to nap later.
    So at work today the district manager was in my ailse talking to to the store manager and my department manger about how I do my job and it was kinda awkward when neither of my mangers knew the answer. But its cool. Cause I did. For reasons.

    I really need a nap
    January 15th, 2019 at 07:47pm
  • nearly witches.

    nearly witches. (15230)

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    I feel like I'm doing so well in German and then I go to tutorials and I just genuinely want to cry and hide away because my pronunciation is terrible.

    I'm also so far behind and it's worrying me a lot.
    January 15th, 2019 at 08:46pm
  • Red Arrowette

    Red Arrowette (885)

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    Whoop new fessions thread!

    I'm really hoping this nasty head cold goes away so i can stop feeling pain in my throat and chest. -_-
    January 16th, 2019 at 12:32am
  • OceansBlue

    OceansBlue (185)

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    Eesh sorry to be a Debbie Downer guys, may end up deleting later... it's nearly 3am, meaning my alarm goes off for work in 4.5 hours, and I just can't settle. My heart is palpitating, my stomach is playing up, there's a lump in my throat, and I just want to cry. What am I even so stressed and anxious about? I made a few mistakes at work due to anxiety or uncertainty, but they were minor and I'm new so what's the big deal? Poor memory is embarrassing, and hard to hide, but why I'm so deathly concerned about co-workers thinking I'm shockingly dim I don't know. They don't know I have GAD, but that shouldn't matter to me. The reason I'm not only upset but also angry about this is because lack of sleep means less concentration, lower job performance, therefore less likely to be given new or challenging tasks, and also less likely to be able to match a surgeon's shift for the day (8.30-7.30). I'm only here for two weeks, so I want to see and learn as much as I can, but I've already shown reluctance to stay more than 40 mins later than non-strictly scheduled to finish shift. On the plus side, I witnessed the surgeon perform a nice, quick and easy spay on a cat yesterday without feeling faint. I need to be more bold and nosy - investigate drawers as suggested in spare time, read vet books from the bookshelf... come on self, pull your act together. Also you really need to learn how and when to speak under different circumstances - you especially suck at goodbyes. At least you seem to be doing well with the clients, though.
    January 16th, 2019 at 03:52am
  • the god of mischief.

    the god of mischief. (250)

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    Because it's going to have elements of LARP I can't WAIT for Galaxy's Edge to open. It's just been released that you might even be randomly captured by the First Order! Cheese Crazy
    January 16th, 2019 at 06:13pm
  • padme;

    padme; (100)

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    My boyfriend's cat just smacked him across the face and I wish I had recorded it on my phone because it was hilarious lmfao lmfao lmfao It's funnier because he's still super offended that she did it even though I warned him she was going to do it
    January 16th, 2019 at 06:59pm
  • OceansBlue

    OceansBlue (185)

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    @ padme;
    lmfao That's gold
    Feeling better today, despite the thumb-twiddling greater portion of the day and morning drowsiness.

    In other news, I got invited to interview for a position but I'm not sure I'm confident or really experienced enough. I might take up the other interview offer instead.
    What do I do? mrgun Can I aim to be an ecologist and a veterinarian?
    January 17th, 2019 at 12:16am
  • Brittt

    Brittt (100)

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    I want a job so I can stop feeling like a piece of shit who can't afford to pay rent. sick of feeling so depressed because of not having a job.
    January 17th, 2019 at 10:48pm
  • danny sexbang.

    danny sexbang. (100)

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    I worry about the somewhat toxic atmosphere James has at work. Not just the toxic masculinity that comes with a hands-on labor-intensive job, but some of the ideals that his boss seems to have. Like saying he almost doesn't want to tell people they're doing a good job, at the risk of people thinking they're doing good enough and not striving to be better. And I can get that in a sense, but positive reinforcement is a good thing that actually works. Especially when I think of James, who for a good majority of his life never thought he was good enough at anything, after being told by his last boss that every single one of them is replaceable. I know that at his current job they do regularly let him know how good of a worker he is, and I'm grateful, but that sentiment was weird.

    And another one being that, "Saying sorry is for bitches," implying that as an adult and a person, you shouldn't be doing things that result in you having to say sorry, and just...people are human! People make mistakes all the time! I don't know everything about everything and I'm an adult and I say sorry all the time because of it! It makes it seem like you don't need to take responsibility for your actions because supposedly what you did was exactly what you intended and like...it's not always like that! We're not infallible! Say sorry for things you do wrong, even if you thought you were in the right but it ended up being wrong for someone you affected! There's nothing wrong with asking for forgiveness--there's no weakness in that! Just, how James was so proud reciting that statement to me yesterday...I worry.

    That, plus our roommate is one of those dudes who drinks and smokes every day. And James has been drinking pretty regularly as a result of this job (not that he didn't drink before, but it was more of a weekend thing rather than a daily thing). I just worry so much, and part of me thinks I'm just blowing things out of proportion but the little things get to me. Because if sowed deep enough, they can become big things in the future.
    January 18th, 2019 at 02:20am
  • padme;

    padme; (100)

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    I really can't see how someone who thinks it's acceptable to scream at customer service can also claim to be "Christian". Unless I'm mistaken, Jesus wasn't walking around telling people it's okay to slam things and tell people to fuck off. Think
    January 19th, 2019 at 02:17am
  • swell

    swell (150)

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    I thought I was fine on the not developing feelings front but then I get a forehead kiss and I hold your fucking hand and suddenly I want it all. Fuck.
    January 20th, 2019 at 02:54am
  • the god of mischief.

    the god of mischief. (250)

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    He laid in my lap last night and I played with his hair until he fell asleep. In Love
    January 20th, 2019 at 06:44am
  • the god of thunder.

    the god of thunder. (300)

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    lul all I do on vent is shit talk men and yet they keep following me in DROVES. go awayyy lmao.
    January 21st, 2019 at 12:45am