Made out with two guys whilst in NORTH CAROLINA of all places and it was the most action I've gotten in like 6 months Ok I'm just gonna go with what I have and then rewrite/revise/whatever once it's all put together. Maybe my original vision is fine and I'm just being a classic overthinker.
Gunnah try this again because I'm pretty damn sick.This is SUCH a lame confession for so many reasons but the Spongebob Christmas special officially only sparks a super sad nostalgia in me ever since my grandmother died. In a much simpler time I'd watch it every Christmas Eve in anticipation of the next day. We'd all gather at her house for dinner, drinks (for the adults), a variable buffet of cookies, and gift exchanging. My childhood may be tinged by my parents' estranged relationship but I have so many special, happy Christmas memories of the entire family. All 16+ of us....now it's barely 8 when we can manage to get everyone together. I miss those nights so much but most of all I miss my grandmother and my great aunt. It hasnt even been 6 months but it feels like it's been eons and I doubt I'll ever be over this. Every so often I see someone in their 80s at work with their great grand children visiting them and I wonder why she had to be taken from me too soon. Its selfish, I know, but I cant help it: it's intrusive.
Inequality frustrates me. No, that isn't the right word. Inequality disgusts me. I'm tired of it. We're all people for fuck sake. We may all be unique as snowflakes, but like snowflakes we're all made up of the same composite parts. Why is it so hard to call someone by their preferred pronoun, or to not hurl abuse when a gay couple holds hands down the street, or to not prejudge someone based on their skin colour or native tongue, or something as personal and inconsequential as their genitals? What gives you the right to tell them they're at fault for a choice they never made but were born with, just because their self is different to your self?
Part of the reason why I stopped participating in that drawing prompt challenge was because the themes started getting kinda extravagant. The other part was because when I uploaded my last drawing to Imgur (and was actually proud of it), I had 5 downvotes on it. So. Took the week off of drawing. But maybe I'll find the motivation to draw again next week. Maybe.
I'm glad my boyfriend thinks it's cute to just go mia and not answer his phone. he's been gone since 930 this morning. what the fuck? and he wonders why i have hella anxiety.
Well that was unlike any interview I've had before and I don't think I nailed it at all. Best keep applying cos I need something.Holy crap we're moving house. It's happening. When did life git gud?
So, not only did I severely slice my finger open with a box cutter at work this morning, I also get my period while at work. Wonderful. Bleeding from two different spots, just how I wanted to spend the day.I wanna just kiss his face...
So I'm listening to Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge and wow, I loved the concept of it. The two lovers, and having to kill 1,000 people to get a lover back or something, that's crazy.
T minus 29 days and I'll be out of this shithole holy crap I can't wait! This house has weighed on my soul, man. I'm going to have storage space! I'm going to have quiet neighbours! I am excite
Budgeting makes me feel like I'm adulting well. The fact that I am over $50,000 in debt and am living in a house I can barely afford makes me feel the complete opposite.
I know this isn't sustainable. I know that now more than ever I need a new job to even consider being stable. But even more than that, I know that my pride won't let anyone help me. This all feels like a test and I'm just barely treading water. I got myself into this, I need to get myself out. I don't dare become a financial burden to anyone ever again (I know that's the trauma from my teens talking and that it could be different with James, but that risk is too much to take). I already have to ask James to cover my portion of the utilities and possibly the gas for the car, and I feel terrible enough for that. I know in April/May when I have to pay for my car registration and do maintenance, I'm going to be straight fucked--I'll have less than $200 in savings and won't even cover the registration.
This is what I deserve though. Serves me right for being so terrible with my money.