300 Confessions Way

  • danny sexbang.

    danny sexbang. (100)

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    27
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    United States
    Sure, you can move in now. But like hell am I going to accept you there for at least a month. For the weeks of stress and re-budgeting I had to do because your flaky non-committal ass changed your mind at the last second. Oh, what's that? Someone's changed their mind about you guys' place and are planning to sell it, and now it's convenient for you to move out? It's hard isn't it? Having the rug pulled under you like that?

    Fuck off. Move in so that it'll lower my bills. But fuck any civility I owe you as a roommate.
    February 13th, 2019 at 11:25pm
  • Unown

    Unown (185)

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    United Kingdom
    Is it bad that I'm getting sick and tired of giving free work? :c Kind of literally... mentally mostly, but to a small degree physically. There's only one place where I keep returning to because I genuinely feel appreciated and love the people here. I don't know if I'll quit going to the other regular place I volunteer at... I think I enjoy it when he is the supervisor, but I don't want to even go in when she is there instead. She makes me feel angry and sad; never happy. I'm just not sure I fit in all of a sudden? I guess it felt alright when the other girls (around my age) were there too, but when they aren't there I find it a bit boring and uncomfortable around only females of older generations.
    I don't mind (most) males of older generations (in fact I tend to like them more than most females), and I think it's because they don't tend to chatter about husbands and children or gossip much. They talk about stuff I can actually relate to. I've always liked girls who are more like boys, but I don't tend to like boys who are more like boys (stereotypically). What even?
    February 15th, 2019 at 12:48am
  • Brittt

    Brittt (100)

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    Ugh lol. People like you are the reason why I don't have friends. Friends for seven years and as usual, its dick over your friends who have known you longer. You are so desperate to be with someone so they can pay all your bills since you can't seem to get a job. Block me all you want, but you're not all that special and never will be. Does he know that you're not in love with him? does he know that you're talking to other dudes? lol, I just can't. Good riddance.
    February 16th, 2019 at 07:25pm
  • VixL

    VixL (100)

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    United States
    The world is so sad. The only thing that makes me feel like I can contribute is to write. It makes me feel like I have peace.
    February 16th, 2019 at 10:11pm
  • raja sahara

    raja sahara (100)

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    United States
    I finished Wonderland. Like it's actually done written-wise. And now it just needs to be edited and revised and on its way to being published.

    We close y'all Dance
    February 17th, 2019 at 11:24pm
  • lozzieee who.

    lozzieee who. (610)

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    Great Britain (UK)
    Just thinking about this makes my stomach knot. I can't wait for it to be over and for us to be settled on our own. My house, my rules, no argument. Shit on my floor I'll rub your nose in it, basically. I know you don't respect me, but you will respect my home and my property. I already have to pretend I don't dislike you, I will not hesitate to put my foot down with your behaviour. I've compromised my feelings for yours enough for everyone else's sake but mine, so you will follow the rules of my house. No ifs, no buts, and no damn coconuts.
    February 18th, 2019 at 12:30pm
  • Unown

    Unown (185)

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    United Kingdom
    :( I don't know how much longer I can last without a job until I fall into a deep, dark place again with no foreseeable way out. I feel it coming, but with all these rejections I'm powerless to prevent it.
    I sought help the other day, but I don't know if it'll be enough. I hate feeling this way - I feel like such a weak, attention-seeking human.
    February 19th, 2019 at 12:16am
  • the god of mischief.

    the god of mischief. (250)

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    Today really hasn't been that bad but I can't shake the feeling that it's just been shitty....
    February 19th, 2019 at 12:53am
  • Sol.

    Sol. (105)

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    United States
    For me, the song All Night by Beyonce is a love song to myself. I always get into so many feelings about it.
    February 19th, 2019 at 09:25am
  • danny sexbang.

    danny sexbang. (100)

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    United States
    The anxiety I get from watching my bank account and waiting for an automatic bill pay to go through is unreal. Especially since the bill we got has so many incorrect things on it (ie amount due, due date) that I won't be able to tell if it's because I'm short on the bill or if they're just taking their sweet time. Hopefully it's the latter.

    Adulting sucks.
    We see Ninja Sex Party tonight and I don't know if I'm gonna be able to hold in my emotions/tears. They helped me through a particularly bad year and having the chance to see them live in my home state feels like a dream. here's hoping the squad is down to wait out back afterwards to try to meet the band
    February 20th, 2019 at 06:08pm
  • hangsang.

    hangsang. (210)

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    Antarctica
    So I’ve never been good with money in the past. I’m actually striving and paying bills before buying anything for myself. I pay rent and car payments every week and car insurance every month, while the Golden Child doesn’t have to do a fucking thing. Does she pay rent? No. Does she have a car payment? No. So why is it that she can go out and buy things for a girl she likes that she ‘doesn’t even know’ but when I do it it’s like the end of the fucking world. God forbid I actually spend money on friends or, gasp, myself. How irresponsible and outlandish! I should be put to the death!
    February 21st, 2019 at 04:51am
  • kwon jiyong.

    kwon jiyong. (100)

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    United States
    but I'll never say 'I love you, dear' just to hear you say it back

    ---

    I'm crumbling away.
    February 21st, 2019 at 06:50pm
  • Unown

    Unown (185)

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    25
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    United Kingdom
    Some bad childhood memories...
    . Got verbal abuse from a temporary orthodentist for lying about why I hadn't returned sooner to get new braces fitted (as the first were ill-fitting). I lied to protect my mum, as I either couldn't drive at the time or had too much anxiety so I was reliant on mum, but mum wasn't available due to work and other commitments until that time. Mum might have also refused to take me (if I was able to drive) in an attempt to force me to do so, and that obviously failed. Dad took me in the end, and I remember just breaking down in tears on the drive home. He pulled over and said he wouldn't keep driving until I told him what's wrong. In the end, we didn't have to pay the full cost for the new retainers (got it reduced because NHS) because I think mum phoned up the practice to explain what happened. A nurse was there; she looked visibly shocked and might have said something to try to get the orthodentist to calm down but the orthodentist was not going to stop until I was almost in tears.
    . Got held down and forced to have a head shot taken in art class, after refusing what was initially a request from a friend who wanted to draw a portrait of a friend. I didn't want to be drawn, I was self-conscious and thought I was ugly. Also, I was socially anxious and didn't like the idea of everybody seeing me have a photo taken and thinking I'm vain. I told my friend that I didn't want it taken until she understood, but the teacher was ruthless. My friend had asked other friends first, but they had all said no too. I still ask myself why the teacher only allowed herself and some classmates (who thought it was a joke) to abuse me like that, but not the others. I guess I am still angry that she preyed on me (probably) because I was weak - the stereotypical 'quiet, nice, nerdy girl'. I said no (several times) and it wasn't respected. Isn't that... not OK?

    I've been thinking that what if these experiences have (in part) made me the way I am? Paranoid, restless, unable to deal with difficult situations (I'll hide the problem or run from it if it gets intolerable), unable to process compliments without feeling some kind of negative feeling, unable to trust. It's no use continuing to feel angry or sad about such moments though; it won't change them. In part, I always blame myself for them too... I should have just told the truth about either my mum being too busy or (more likely) being too anxious to drive (and mum wouldn't take me). I should have... well, I don't know what else I could have possibly done apart from hit people to fix the forced photo situation. I guess that reporting the incident might have brought some closure... perhaps an apology from the teacher, or an understanding as to why she allowed what happened to happen.

    I'm beginning to realise that I'm a shell made of many broken pieces, taped together. This is helpful to acknowledge, but also difficult. I don't want to be broken or incapable, I don't want others to feel sorry for me. I don't want to feel weak, and it's tiring to hide. But the fact of the matter is that I've been uttering repetitive, harmful phrases to myself subconsciously (i.e. "I hate myself"), I panic and avoid important events or situations due to stress or anxiety, and I rock back and forth and have other weird repetitive habits which presumably relieve me from anxiety and stress. One week I'll act bright as a button at work, the next I'll come in and people will ask (or likely wonder) what's wrong. How do I achieve regularly becoming the flat calm surface of the sea rather than a raging swell one day and the flat calm the next? All things I need to ask in therapy.
    February 22nd, 2019 at 01:05am
  • angus young

    angus young (355)

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    Norway
    Lying in bed 2:11 safe under the mountains of Norway. I think of this site 5 6 8 10 years ago and who I was and what I was. I celebrated my 13th and 14th birthday here on this website. People made a thread for me and told me I was beautiful and amazing. This year I'm 25 and I'm getting married this year or next

    If anyone remembers me I probably remember you too. I still have Mibba people on Facebook but I'm not in regular contact. This place used to be such a sanctuary for me but I'm so much older, so much different, in a different country, speaking another language, doing it for him and for myself and for us. I read my profile and it says I'm 17 years old but I haven't been 17 years old for 7 years now and it seem so far away. 17 year old me had no idea the worst was yet to come

    But the best came with it and I love myself

    I am happy to wake up and know I am here I am me

    Watch the quiet night sky of Scandinavia and know I am here. I want to lose myself in the woods and live the self-chosen dream of eternal stars in my head
    February 22nd, 2019 at 02:14am
  • the god of mischief.

    the god of mischief. (250)

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    @ angus young
    This was the most beautiful thing I've read in a long, long time. It's good to hear you're doing well. Arms
    This is the best night I've had in a while and it comes along with what's probably the start of my quarter life crisis? I'd just really like for it to be 2008 again please, that's all.
    February 22nd, 2019 at 05:33am
  • kwon jiyong.

    kwon jiyong. (100)

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    United States
    @ angus young hey, ella Arms it's good to see you, and congratulations on your engagement.
    one of the best things I remember about this site is the friendships that we all made.
    and to see all those friends growing up happy and healthy is all I could ever ask for Arms

    ---

    I'm not sure why I still come back sometimes. it's strange here, but still somehow familiar.
    this is like my hundred acre wood. heartbreakingly different.
    February 22nd, 2019 at 10:31pm
  • Unown

    Unown (185)

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    Let's face it, only I would do something so embarrassing. Weird
    February 23rd, 2019 at 04:22pm
  • Brittt

    Brittt (100)

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    United States
    I am so beyond frusturated. Either handle your fucking liquor or dont fucking drink at all.
    February 24th, 2019 at 01:05am
  • Mr. Darcy

    Mr. Darcy (16090)

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    Self harmed in almost a year lolololololol
    February 24th, 2019 at 01:08am
  • lozzieee who.

    lozzieee who. (610)

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    Great Britain (UK)
    I don't want to kill myself but I end up thinking about it constantly.
    February 24th, 2019 at 12:01pm