300 Confessions Way

Once I dreamt about you- you with your pale skin slick with water, you with your red hair wet like candied apples. You with your wide eyes and asking me to kiss you. I wanted you I wanted you. I still do. Jeg vill kysse deg.

My friend just started a conversation with me

I suck.

I’ve decided this is the only way and time I’ll express any anger about what you did, but with that being said, I don’t care that you did it. I’ve seen it coming for literal months now because you’re predictable and you’ve always been flaky when it came time to returning the favor of being a decent friend. I’ve always been there for you, no matter what. My love and my support at any point for you was always unconditional, and I always put aside my own bullshit for you whenever you needed me. I was there for you even when you betrayed my trust, but I put you first and foremost so you were happy instead of putting you under the obligation of thinking you had to take my side or get out. But I can count on one hand how many times you did the same for me when the roles reversed and that’s with me expecting the very bare minimum from you. You’ve always been like this and I just learned to live with it. So I don’t care that you did it. I long ago braced myself for it.

What I care about is how you did it. I’m a big kid. I can handle losing friends. If cutting me out was better for you, then I would have understood and I would have let you go because trust me, I wasn’t suffering for you in your four-month long absence during the worst point of my life. You weren’t that special. You could have left and I would have let you instead of playing this game where I gave you the benefit of the doubt. Instead you resorted to radio silence for months and then removed me from everything without a word. You resorted to some petty high school childishness like I’m the one that wronged you when all I did was find someone. You just hate that it wasn’t you because you spent too many months ignoring my blatant rejection and were incapable of moving past it like I kept trying to for you.

But hey, I hope you’re happy with your weekend love. Don’t expect me to linger around or beg you back. You won’t find another friend like me.

Hm. I've been thinking a lot lately about comphet and my experiences as a "straight" woman and as a lesbian. Tonight my gf asked my jokingly if I flirted with other people, and I told her no, that's cheating. I'm flirtatious by nature, I love flirting, it makes me feel good about myself, it's fun, and as a result I flirt non-seriously with my friends. I don't consider flirting with my friends as cheating as it has no intention other than "just fun". Flirting with other women, so that you gain their interest or attention, however, is cheating. And I don't stand for it nor do I want to do that to my gf.

It's interesting how rigid my views are on cheating now, compared to when I was dating my boyfriends. I thought that flirting (of any sort) was harmless, and even told them I wouldn't be jealous if they kissed another girl, or more. I drew a line at penetrative sex, only because I thought that that's a line that should be there. My second bf and I were on and off, and during our off times he would sleep with multiple women, and I wouldn't really care.

I'm just finding it interesting how much I'm actually learning about my own jealousy and relationship boundaries while actually being in a relationship that I care about.

I know that I can't and I know its probs just the PMS talking but I'd do anything to get to taste the Jameson off of his lips.

I'm about to scream thanks to the federal election

It really irritates me having to yell at the top of my lungs just for you to hear me all because you refuse to wear your hearing aids and then you have the nerve to ask why we get hateful/annoyed.

I just hope and pray things are going to get better from here. There has to be a turning point.

you turn into an ignorant fuck every time you go away for the weekend with your friend and I CANT FUCKING STAND IT. It's like you forget about my existence the whole day, then call me for 30 seconds like what the fuck? I'm your girlfriend and you can't make time to actually talk to me? i'm so fucking over it at this point.

"Why was I already charged a full amount's stay already?"

"That's just an authorization hold, you don't actually get charged until check-out."

"This is the first hotel I've ever stayed at, that does that kind of thing."

BULLSHIT, but keep telling yourself that.

i'm so scared i've lost him. i'm so god damn scared that i won't have him anymore. i love him to bits and he is his own person, but... god, my heart is breaking at the thought. i didn't want him to leave this morning, i didn't want us to argue/debate to the point it got too much. just please come back to me. that's all i want.

My life is a fucking wreck. Im kind of just watching it burn.

Love and happiness to everyone in this thread!

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I'm not gonna lie, we haven't spoken in almost a month and I'm actually worried about you. You probably have family stuff going on but I do hope you're okay.

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Welp that surprised me. Oh well. I swear....

You are officially the worst person I have ever had the misfortune of having as a roommate. I have never been made so uncomfortable or unsafe in my own house like this before, and as far as I'm concerned you're just another cockroach living in my house who I collect utilities from. There are no niceties between us anymore. I don't owe you shit. Just stay out of my way for the next three months, so that I can live my remaining months at this house in peace.

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So many sub-par men in my life who are rude and terrible. So little of my patience to give. It's annoying that I can't escape them whether I'm at work or at home.

The way our IT guy talked to my manager just now was so condescending. She's wonderful and doesn't deserve to be spoken to like that. Not only to her, but my old coworker who needs some patience and hand-holding when it comes to computer stuff, how our IT guy talks to him like he's an idiot. When! I have fixed more issues on two different computers than I bet you have in your entire time here!

Useless. The lot of them.

I know I shouldn't say the things I say. I can almost over-ride them as I feel them spilling out of my stupid fucking mouth but out they flow. Again and again. I don't mean to be so confusing and hard to live with as I am. I don't mean to start fights about things. I don't want to. But can't stand that you wont change plans for me. I love you, so very much. I love all of you. Some day it is harder to love you. I know it's the same for you loving me. Some days are harder than others. But fuck man it's my birthday. Why can't you put aside the thing you want to do for me on my fucking birthday? I am coming to think I should stop celebrating it. Who gives a shit anyway. It's just a day. Fuck it. Why should I have to decide what to do, where to go? SURPRISE ME AND TAKE ME SOMEWHERE. OR TAKE ME NO WHERE AND COOK ME DINNER. I DON'T CARE. DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE MY OWN BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVERY YEAR. YOU ARE MY HUSBAND, YOU KNOW ME VERY WELL. USE YOUR IMAGINATION FFS.

one step forward, two steps back. so fucking over this shit.

so in the entirety of today my girlfriend and I have spoken to each other once: a fifty second phone call. love it

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I am sick of having no friends.