I'm Fine

Nari walked down the sidewalk with her hands stuffed deeply inside her jacket pockets, ignoring the night time surroundings that were lit up by Downtown Seoul. It was the weekend, so the streets were bustling with tourists and Seoul natives. She tried to dodge the stumbling strangers as she walked, not having much luck. Walking through the maze of drunk people wasn't necessarily her idea of fun, but she wanted to be anywhere but home. Unfortunately, going through downtown was the quickest way to get to her spot.

Maybe one of the guys would be there, sitting one one of the couches around the fire pit. Most of them struggled with difficult home lives, and that was where they went to get away. Whether any of them were there or not, she knew she'd be sleeping there tonight while her mother strung herself out on various opioids. There was always the possibility that Nari would get home and find that her mother OD'd. Whatever, that was a problem for future Nari.

---

Yoongi sat on his raggedy couch, downing a bottle of Soju. He rarely even bothered with glasses anymore at this point; it wasn't like anybody was there to drink with him. This was his last bottle, so he'd have to move on to the beer in his virtually empty fridge. If one of the guys had been there, they would tell him what he needed was food, and he'd ignore them until they carried him out of the apartment and to a restaurant. The guys weren't here, though. Yoongi had done a spectacular job of pushing everybody away since his drinking problems started. Still, they were his best friends and they'd be there at a moment's notice if he needed them.

He stared at his cellphone, which sat on his cheap coffee table. He didn't necessarily hate being alone, but sometimes it sucked. He wished his friends were here to have fun, but he could be cruel this deep into a bottle of Soju. He sighed deeply, setting the bottle down on the table in front of him and picked up his phone. He scrolled through his contacts, looking at the names.

Hoseok. Jimin. Jin. Jungkook. Namjoon. Nari. Solar. Taehyung.

Not very extensive. He put the phone back down, not wanting to waste anybody's time.

@ snuff;

Taehyung had to get away. His father was drunk again and his sister had gone to a friend’s house for the night. That had relieved a little bit of stress on the young boy, but he knew it was only a matter of time before his noona would be calling him, crying that their father was drunk and putting his hands on her. He pulled the hood of his jacket up and headed out of the apartment where he lived with his father and sister.

Ever since his mother died, his father developed a heavy drinking problem. He took his anger out on Taehyung and his older sister, cursing them and telling them he hated them. He was an alright guy when he was sober. Taehyung couldn’t remember the last “I love you” He had gotten out of his father and eventually gave up asking.

He was lost in his thoughts as he walked, eventually making it to the spot where he and his friends hung out. He was surprised no one was there, but it was okay, he liked the alone time. He started the fire pit anyways, hoping they’d show up soon, and laid down on one of the couches, his mind drifting off to the last time he saw his mother before her death.

---

Solar sighed as she looked at her phone. She wanted to text Yoongi but she didn’t want to bother him, but at the same time she was worried about him. He had been drinking heavily again and she knew how bad he could get; but that still didn’t stop her from wanting to be there for him.

She opened a message to him and texted him.

You home? I’m coming over

She wasn’t sure if she’d get a reply. Her and Yoongi weren’t as close as they used to be. They used to be best friends growing up, but they tried to date in middle school and it was awkward and Yoongi was already starting to drink at a very young age and it didn’t last. Sometimes Solar missed the way he was before he started drinking, and hoped one day he would stop before he killed himself.

She started the walk towards Yoongi’s apartment, even though he still hadn’t replied. She knew he enjoyed his alone time but she was always worried. Always worried she’d arrive one day and find him unresponsive. The guilt would eat her alive and she didn’t want that to happen.

@ yoongisgummysmile


Nari was almost to the pathway that would lead her across a pedestrian bridge, suspended over the one of the major highways that let traffic in and out of the city. That bridge led to a park where trees became more dense, which was where the spot was hidden away. She noticed that nobody was around now, leaving her a clear path to walk freely.

"Hey, girl," she heard from behind her before she felt a hand on her ass. She turned around quickly to take a swing at whoever had violated her. She barely grazed his face with her fingertips before he caught her hand. "Bitch," he sneered, hitting her in the face and then shoving her away. She looked around to see if anybody had saw, or if anybody was coming to help her.

Nobody.

Her upper cheek felt warm, and she instinctively reached up to touch the spot. She examined the blood on her fingertips, and then used the back of her hand to try and wipe the rest away. The way her eye throbbed let her know she'd have a black eye by tomorrow morning. Nari had spent so much time on the streets that this hadn't been the first time something like this happened. She held back her tears as she continued towards the small shed. Nobody bothered her on the rest of her silent, dark journey, however, she now continuously checked behind her just to make sure nobody followed her.

When she got there, a small fire was burning in the pit, almost completely out. She grabbed a couple of sticks from the ground and placed them in the fire to try and warm it up a bit. With the light that the fire now illuminated, she could see Taehyung asleep on one of the dingy couches, and shivering so much he looked like he was having a seizure. She sighed, knowing why he would be here. She took her backpack off and retrieved the blanket she'd brought, and placed it over him as he slept. She was relieved to see his shivering die down a minute later. She curled up in a corner on the opposite couch, stuffing her hands back in her pocket. She leaned her head back and tried to doze off herself.

---

Yoongi's phone went off, notifying him that he'd gotten a text. It can wait 'til tomorrow, he thought to himself. If it had been an emergency, they would have called. Now out of Soju, he finished a bottle of beer, before placing it on the table in front of him with a plethora of other bottles. He stood up to get another bottle from the fridge, but had felt so dizzy that he had to sit back down. "Liquor before beer, my ass," he grumbled, now grabbing onto the side of the couch to slowly stand up. He definitely felt like he was not in the clear, and was pretty drunk at this point.

There was a small knock at his door before it opened; only a handful of people knew that his lock was busted and allowed themselves in. He saw Solar come through the door, and panicked internally. He always felt like a disappointment to her, so he was always on edge when she was around.

"I don't have enough hard liquor for whatever conversation we're about to have, Solar," he wasn't trying to be an ass to her, it just came naturally when he wasn't sober - which was always, lately. He awkwardly tried to stand in front of his coffee table so she couldn't see all of the empty bottles, ashamed that she'd see how he'd spent the day.

@ snuff;

Taehyung must have dozed off because the next thing he remembered was waking up from a nightmare, the fire almost going out, a blanket now on top of him. He looked around and saw Nari sitting in the corner of the other couch, shivering. He got up and walked over, placing the blanket around her. “Hey kid, you awake?” He asked softly.

He checked his phone, seeing a miss text from Joon. They were all coming still but not until a couple more hours. They were going to go pry Yoongi out of his apartment. Taehyung quickly responded before turning his attention to Nari.

---

“Yoongi, you need to sit down before you fall down and hurt yourself.” Solar said. As much as Yoongi resisted, Solar managed to get him down onto the couch. She saw the empty bottle of Soju but didn’t say anything.

“When was the last time you ate?” She asked, looking at him. She could tell he was already becoming irritated with her, but she didn’t care.

She didn’t wait for an answer as she went to his kitchen to find something to eat, but coming up empty handed. She sighed, “why didn’t you call one of us when you ran out of food? We would have brought you something.” She said as she stood in the doorway of the kitchen.

@ yoongisgummysmile



Nari was quick to fall asleep, her body needing the rest. More importantly, being asleep was a much needed escape from her thoughts. Her mind slipped into a maze of dreams that she would never remember, but she was such a light sleeper that it only felt like short moments from the time she'd sat down to sleep and the time she was being woken up. As she drifted back to consciousness, she realized her blanket had been wrapped around her, which had reminded her that Taehyung had been there. She could tell by the skin on her face that it had gotten colder, so she grabbed the blanket to wrap it around her more tightly.

"Taehyung-Oppa," her voice was groggy, and she was still really tired. She wished she could just sleep in her bed, but refused to be in the same house as her mom while she did that. "I wish my mom could choose which season she was a crazy drug addict," she tried to joke, but knew it probably wouldn't be too well received. She reached up to rub her eyes, and the pain on her right eye reminded her of the assault on her way over her. Immediately, she pulled her hand away from her face, wincing in pain. Not wanting Taehyung to see her face, she turned her head away, hoping that the fire only gave off a very dim light.

---

"I 'dunno know, when was the last time you guys dragged me out of here?" Yoongi asked, trying not to catch an attitude with Solar. It couldn't really be helped, though, drunk Yoongi had his own personality. When she came back into the room where he was now laying on the couch, asking why he didn't call any of them, he scoffed. "Because you always look at me like that." Solar always either seemed disappointed in him or like she took pity on him. He didn't want any of that, in fact, that was part of the reason they never worked out. He still blamed her for that, but simultaneously, he knew he wouldn't have been happy always being berated about his drinking.

Yoongi knew he'd changed; he wasn't stupid. He just wish his friends had accepted him this way instead of trying to change him back to somebody he didn't want to be anymore. This Yoongi didn't have to deal with problems; he could write music in his apartment and sell his songs to get by. Why couldn't his hyungs, and everybody else, see that he was happy. He hugged himself as he lay across the couch, avoiding having to look at Solar.

He was older than her, than most of the guys; why did he always feel like the child?

@ snuff;

Taehyung looked over at Nari and tried to crack a smile but his face was still sore from the fight with his father earlier in the evening. “Yeah, I know what you mean.” He said. He looked up as he heard voices approaching and recognized Jin, Namjoon, Hoseok, Jimin and Jungkook’s voices, blending together in perfect harmony.

“Hey guys.” Jimin said, sitting down on the couch beside Tae. Luckily, Jin was always thinking ahead and brought extra blankets and jackets for everyone. “Where’s Yoongi hyung and Solar?” Jungkook asked, sitting beside Nari. “Hi noona.” He smiled at the older girl.

---

Solar rolled her eyes as she walked over and basically pulled Yoongi up to his feet. “Come on, I’m taking you for noodles and then we’re meeting everyone at the spot.” She said, grabbing Yoongi’s jacket and pulling it on him.

She grabbed his shoes, gently sitting him back down on the couch as she put his shoes on for him. As much of an asshole as Yoongi was to her, she didn’t understand why she still did so much for him.

“Come on oppa.” She said softly, helping him up again.

@ yoongisgummysmile



Nari tried to shrink into her blanket as Namjoon and Jin collected more wood to put into the dying fire so nobody could see her bruising eye. As the light grew again, she could see Taehyung's battered face and instinctively gasp. The guys looked at her, and she faked a cough so she wouldn't draw attention to herself or Taehyung. They all knew about his father, and how he treated him and his sister. Her hand sneaked out from underneath her blanked to take his hand, and squeezed it, offering him some comfort. Her hand retracted back underneath the blanket.

"Solar went to go check on Yoongi," Solar had texted her earlier today, asking if Nari had heard from Yoongi at all. She hadn't, and was pretty sure nobody had. "I think he's on a drinking binge again." Her voice was small, hating to give that news to the guys, but it wasn't really new news. She offered some of her blanket to a cold Jungkook, who gladly accepted.

---

"I want Samgyeopsal," Yoongi protested as Solar tugged on his arm, " and Hoeddeok." Yoongi really couldn't remember the last time he had an actual meal, not counting the instant ramen he'd buy at the gas station when he was buying more booze. He stopped resisting Solar's attempt to get him out of the apartment and willingly followed her. She didn't seem to notice, because she continued pulling him down the sidewalk. Despite his drunken persona, he couldn't help but smile at her attempt to take care of him.

He realized suddenly that he was happy; happy for the fresh air, happy he would see his hyungs. Still, what would they think when he stumbled to their spot, obviously wasted. Would they be glad to see him? Would he be a burden? He didn't want to think about that, he just wanted to fill his stomach up with warm food.

@ snuff;

“Of course he is.” Jin sighed. He sat down next to Hoseok, who pulled out a bag of pretzels and began eating them. Taehyung felt Nari grab his hand and smiled softly. She was always so sweet to him, no matter what she was going through. He slid his hand under the blanket, grabbing onto Nari’s hand once more, running his thumb over her knuckle.

“I guess I’ll wait for them to show up before saying what I needed to say.” Jin said.

“Is it important?” Jimin asked.

“Kind of but I want Yoongi and Solar here too.” Jin said, as everyone settled in, deciding to wait for their two friends.

---

“That’s fine.” Solar said, finally letting go of Yoongi’s hand when she realized he would follow willingly. She stayed beside him though, catching him as he stumbled. As they approached the shop, she saw her ex boyfriend and his friends. “Great.” She sighed.

“Solar!” Kyungwon called out to her and then spotted Yoongi. “What are you doing with that?” He asked.

“He’s my friend and I’m taking him to get some food.” Solar said, not looking at Kyungwon. She was focusing on getting Yoongi inside before he could start shit with her ex. “I always knew you were sleeping around on me with your friends. What female has that many male friends if there isn’t something going on?” Kyungwon laughed with his own friends.

Solar ignored him, trying not to let his words bother her, as she looked at the ground. That wasn’t true at all. She and Kyungwon didn’t work out because he was abusive and always accusing her of cheating on him, especially with Yoongi.

@ yoongisgummysmile


Nari sat there listening to the guys as she let Taehyung secretly hold her hand. The way he grazed her knuckles with his thumb had been so soothing. Everybody in the group had issues in one way or another, whether it was with themselves or with family, but something drew Nari closer to Taehyung than the rest of the guys. Sure, she felt very protective over Jungkook like he was her little brother; to her, he was her little brother. Jin was like the father of the group, always telling his dad jokes and capturing moments of them with his camera. Solar was like a sister. Taehyung, however, felt like her other half. She never felt the need to say anything, because everything had always been so comfortable with him, but she couldn't ever help but wonder how he felt.

Most of the time she saw him, he had been bruised and battered from the beatings his dad would give him; it didn't really matter to Nari how Taehyung felt about her, as long as he was okay. When he wasn't, all she cared about was making sure he had family.

"Jin, if it's another one of your stupid pun jokes, I'm kicking your ass," Namjoon threatened jokingly, and we all groaned knowing that's exactly something Jin would do.

---

"Kyungwon," Yoongi started, already fired up, "Just because she wouldn't sleep with you doesn't mean she's sleeping with somebody else. Maybe you'd know that if you talked to her instead of hitting her." The exchange sobered Yoongi up really quickly; nobody messed with his friends, especially not Solar. He wanted to beat the shit out of this guy and even took a step forward while talking to him, ready to jump. He looked back at a wide-eyed Solar, who seemed to be on the verge of tears. "Let's go," he grabbed her by the wrist and led her to a different shop, still wanting the grilled pork belly.

There was a place a couple of blocks away he took her to, happy to finally eat some real food. He was thankful to Solar now for getting him out of the apartment, and the food had made him feel much better after a week of drinking on an empty stomach. "That pabo will never be good enough for you, Solar. Don't let his words bother you. We're your real friends and we know how you really are."

He figured his attempts to comfort her would fail, she'd always see him as a drunk, even if he was sober. At least that's what he thought.

@ snuff;

“No, no, none of that.” Jin chuckled. “Then give us a hint?” Jimin asked. Jin cocked his head slightly, thinking, “okay, it’s a place we’re all going to go to soon and it’ll be fun.” He said.

“Hell?” Hoseok asked, getting a snicker out of the younger three boys while Jin rolled his eyes and playfully hit Hobi in the stomach. “No, dumbass.” He said, shaking his head.

“Is it an adventure?” Taehyung asked.

“Possibly. That’s all I’m going to say until Yoongi and Solar get here.” He smiled.

---

“Thank you, oppa.” Solar said, as they sat down. “If it hadn’t been for Jin oppa practically dragging me out of Kyungwon’s house, if probably still be stuck with that asshole.” She said with a sigh.

She left out the part where Kyungwon was basically staking her, calling her all the time, waiting for her outside of her job, trying to have his way with her still.

She didn’t want to anger Yoongi any further. “Jin oppa said he has a surprise for us, that’s why he called us all out to the spot tonight.” She said, sipping her boba tea.

@ yoongisgummysmile



"Oh man, I hope it's an adventure," Nari whispered quietly, but excitedly, to herself. With everything that was going on, she wanted nothing more than to ditch this place, even if it was only temporary. The best part would be having her friends, her family, there.

"Okay, well, whatever we do, I'm not letting you guys talk me into eating a whole cake by myself again," Jungkook protested.

"Jungkook," Namjoon said softly, "We tried to talk you out of doing that. You ate that whole thing because you wanted to and then you were sick for a whole week after."

---

Yoongi quickly ate his food now, knowing his hyungs were waiting for them at the spot. He could feel Solar's eyes on him, but he didn't let it bother him. Yoongi paid for their meal before they walked side by side to the park that would lead them to their spot. It was dark out, the stars littering the sky. Yoongi loved looking at the stars, and found it fascinating that you could see them simply by looking up at the sky, but nobody would everybody be able to travel to them because they were just that far away.

"Do you think my mom's looking down at me?" he asked Solar as he walked with his hands in his pocket, still focusing on the night sky.

@ snuff;

“That was hilarious.” Taehyung said, chuckling as he remembered that day. Jungkook complained of a stomach ache for two hours after and then he got sick.

Jimin was also chuckling while Jungkook pouted from his spot beside Nari. “We promise we won’t let you eat a whole cake, Kook.” Jimin smiled.

---

“I’m sure she is, Yoongi.” Solar said as they walked. “She’s probably proud of you, oppa.” She said softly, as they continued walking. Soon the spot came into view, she could hear all of their friends voices as they got closer.

“Yoongi hyung!” Jimin called, jumping up to hug him.

Solar smiled as she moved fonsit down beside Jin.

@ yoongisgummysmile



Nari looked up as Solar and Yoongi broke through the trees and approached the rest of them. They had both been lit up by the orange light from the fire, everything else behind them still dark.

"What are you doing?" Yoongi asked bluntly as Jimin hugged him, causing Nari to snort softly from laughing.

"I'm not letting go until you hug back," Jimin warned. Yoongi rolled his eyes and hugged Jimin back before they both sat down.

"Okay, Jin," I interrupted the reunion, "Yoongi-Oppa and Solar are here. Spill."

---

Yoongi had been surprised by the greeting he received from the guys when he and Solar got to the spot. He'd been completely taken aback by Jimin's hug, since the last time they'd seen each other, Yoongi had said some pretty mean stuff. That didn't change how Yoongi felt about things like hugs, he didn't necessarily like them. Despite that, he felt like he owed Jimin that much and decided to hug his friend.

"Yeah, what's the surprise?" he asked after Nari told Jin to spill the beans.

@ snuff;

Jin smiled and reached into his pocket, pulling out a Polaroid. “We should go here.” He said, showing the picture to everyone. “The beach?” Tae smiled. Jin nodded, “we haven’t been in a long time and I know we all had fun the last time we went, and I think we all need it.” He said, as they passed the picture around.

“I’m down.” Hoseok grinned. “Me too.” Solar smiled. “Count me in.” Tae and Kook said at the same time. Jin looked at Namjoon, Yoongi, Jimin and Nari. “What about you guys?” He asked the four, seeing everyone turn their heads towards them, waiting for their answers.

“You know me, I love the beach and crabs.” Joon smiled. “I’m in.” He added. Jimin nodded, but didn’t say anything. “Yoongi? Nari?” Jin asked.

@ yoongisgummysmile


"Can we leave now?" Nari asked, desperate to get away from this place. She recalled the last time they'd went, not being able to remember much besides the fact that they'd had a lot of fun.

"Can we never come back?" Yoongi added as he played with his lighter, flicking it on and letting the fire burn. His suggested became popular among the friends, but they knew that wasn't reality, no matter how much they speculated on the idea.

"When do you want to go, Jin-Hyung?" Jungkook asked.

@ snuff;

“We can leave now. It’ll take about two hours, so you guys will have plenty of time to sleep.” He said, getting up. “Let’s put the fire out and go.” He added, heading to his truck.

Soon the rest of them joined, the girls, Jimin, Jungkook and Tae climbed into the cab while Namjoon, Yoongi and Hoseok got into the truck with Jin. “We gotta stop for gas, and you guys can get some snacks and drinks for everyone.” Jin said as he pulled away from their spot and headed towards the nearest gas station.

Solar and Nari shared a blanket while the boys shared one. “This is going to be so fun.” Solar said.

@ yoongisgummysmile


"I call bed of the truck," Nari reluctantly let go of Taehyung's hand, and got up to fold the blanket before stuffing it back into her backpack with her other things. Their random adventures were a part of the reason she always carried a backpack around, usually containing a change or two of clothes, a blanket, and some snacks. The other reason was when she left home, she left with the intention of not coming back for a while.

"I call shotgun," Hobi quickly said. Jin would be driving them in his extended cab Ford, which Yoongi liked to sit in the backseat of. He didn't have to claim the seat though, they all knew that's where he would sit.

@ snuff;

Once they got to the gas station, Hoseok and Namjoon got out to go get snacks. Jin looked back at the younger kids, “if you have to pee, go now.” He told them. “We probably won’t stop anymore.” He added, as he waited.

“Gotta pee.” Jungkook said as he hopped out of the cab of the truck. Solar also got out to go to pee.

Jimin has already fallen asleep, his head on Taehyung’s shoulder. Tae looked over at Nari. “What happened to your cheek?” He asked, seeing the bruise on her face.

@ yoongisgummysmile


Nari touched her cheek, and pain spread throughout the area, reminding her of the events from earlier that night. She'd almost forgotten about the incident, and was now embarrassed by it. "I was groped on the street," she said, her voice small. She'd half hoped that Taehyung hadn't heard her; if he didn't, she wasn't willing to repeat herself.

Yoongi had fallen asleep in the back seat by the time they got to the gas station, but Jungkook would grab him some snacks for when he woke up. Nari took her blanket back out now, wrapping it around herself and curling up in the corner as she'd done on the couch at their spot. She wished she had someone to lean against like Jimin, but she'd probably end up laying flat down on the bed.