couldn't put out the dark

  • woah tommo!

    woah tommo! (100)

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    What do you mean?
    I'm sorry by the way
    Never going back now
    It'd be so sweet if things just stayed the same

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    Luke Hemmings x River Shields
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    Michael Clifford x Sasha Black
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    Harry Styles x Skye Marshall
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    Cillian Murphy x Kyrie Rogers
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    Ashton Irwin x Amara Nolan
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    Calum Hood x Ruby Edwin
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    November 12th, 2019 at 08:58pm
  • woah tommo!

    woah tommo! (100)

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    Blog Moderator
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    Luke had awaken most mornings to River by his side, and he could of sworn that the feeling of her in his arms was almost divine. There was no official label on what it was that they shared, and although Luke was a hopeless romantic at heart, he was surprisingly okay with the fact that River was his in the most untraditional way. Stirring with the thought, Luke woke up to an empty bed, and frowning to himself, Luke shifted onto his elbow, the empty space behind him almost too empty without River. "River?" He called, voice husky and blonde curls wild from the night before. "You here?" When he received no response, Luke groaned to himself, shifting to climb off the bed, grabbing his pair of pyjama pants, discarded the night before. Scratching behind Petunia's ears, Luke stood up and stretched his arms out above his head, treading carefully to the bathroom. "River?" Luke knocked the door. "You in there, doll?" Leaning against the door frame, Luke watched as Petunia jumped down from his bed, the sunshine engulfing the room in a bright orange glow that he found almost soothing. "I was thinking of going out for breakfast, do you want to?"

    Sasha had woken up early for this, and she was beginning to wonder if it was worth it. Throughout the summer, she had been wearing her fleece pyjamas and snuggling up as close to Michael as she could; and as much comfort as her boyfriend brought her, Sasha still felt anxiety race through her veins, because they'd been in a situation like this before. Waiting for the pregnancy test to decide on the result, Sasha sat on the edge of the bath anxiously, half of her hoping for a positive result, and the other half hoping for a negative. She and Michael were already supposed to have a one year old running around the house, but that opportunity came and went in the form of a miscarriage, and Sasha was unsure if whether or not she could handle another heartbreak. As the test began to form it's decision, Sasha's heart lifted with hope as two blue lines stood out to her, and feeling tears well up in her eyes, Sasha pressed her hand to her mouth. "Oh my god." She exhaled, trying to steady her breathing before Michael would hear. "Oh my god." The last time she had read a positive test, she was happy, but after losing her baby and very nearly losing her own life, Sasha couldn't bring herself to feel happy - not yet.

    Harry turned over in the throes of his rest, and as he reached for Skye, he found her space beside him empty - still warm with the heat of her existence, but empty. Frowning, Harry blinked his eyes open, struggling to adjust to the sunlight that seeped into their bedroom through the large window, the curtains already open. Groaning, Harry buried his face into her pillow, taking in the scent of Skye's shampoo. "Skye?" He called, voice muffled by the fabric, brunette curls falling into his face. Groaning again as he had no response, Harry shifted to stand to his feet, scrubbing a hand across his face as he pouted to himself. It was wonderful, really, the affect Skye had on him, and whenever she wasn't within an arm's reach, Harry had to seek her out and take her into his arms, knowing she was safe and protected within his grasp. There had been a time where he couldn't protect her, where he couldn't keep her safe from any harm, and Harry had almost lost Skye, and they'd certainly shared hurt and lost their unborn child. Running a hand through his hair at the thought, Harry decided that, perhaps treating Skye to breakfast would bring a smile to her face. Seeing the door to their spare bedroom - the only room with an ensuite bathroom - shut, Harry's eyebrows furrowed as he gently tapped his knuckles against the door. "Love?" Harry called. "What're you doing in there?"

    Kyrie began to stir with the light from the early morning sunrise to guide her, and blinking her eyes open, she let out a small groan and let her arm hang over her face dramatically, trying to shield herself from the glow. Since her last IVF cycle, waking up had become a lot more difficult, and for a healthy twenty three year old, Kyrie had noticed that she had become sluggish and unenthusiastic about life. Still, IVF was tiring, and expensive, and Kyrie was beginning to wonder if it was even worth it anymore. She and her boyfriend, Cillian, had spent a ridiculous amount of money trying to conceive a child, and so far, there was no result, no happy ending, no positive test. Sighing with the thought, Kyrie turned onto her side, snuggling up to a still-sleeping Cillian. He had been incredible since their journey had started, and Kyrie couldn't wish for someone better. But still, Kyrie couldn't push the thought to the back of her mind that, maybe, this time had been successful. She certainly wasn't herself. "Cillian," she murmured, burying her face into his neck. "You 'wake?"

    Ashton watched Amara as she slept, and he couldn't help but smile. She was the most beautiful vision in the early morning sunlight, and even though things had been difficult for them recently, Ashton wouldn't change a thing. There was no one else he'd rather struggle with than Amara. They'd made the decision when she left school to start a family, and almost a year on, and after countless IVF appointments, sleepless evenings of frustration and tears, and almost twenty thousand dollars spent, Ashton was unsure if this recent cycle would work or not - but he and Amara were adamant, and he would make sure that whatever Amara wanted, she would get, because there was no one in the world Ashton loved like her. Leaning to press a sweet kiss to Amara's forehead with the thought, Ashton slowly climbed out of bed, deciding that Amara deserved breakfast in bed - the girl had an infinite sweet tooth, and Ashton hoped that some pancakes and syrup would be able to curb the habit for the morning. "I love you, you know?" Ashton murmured to Amara, pressing a brief kiss to her lips before disappearing from the bedroom, whistling a happy tune as he went.

    Ruby sat up in bed, her back against the headboard as she scrolled aimlessly through her phone, Calum asleep beside her. Her fertility app had alerted her awake, claiming that her period was two weeks late - as if Ruby hadn't noticed. But still, with the possibility of pregnancy running through her head, Ruby couldn't fall back asleep and decided to just bide her time until her good friend - and frequent one night stand - Calum woke up. Running a hand through her hair, Ruby exhaled loudly, looking to the golden skinned man beside her, deciding that pushing him from the bed would be an excellent idea to wake him up - and reaching over to shove him, Ruby watched with satisfaction as he rolled onto the floor with an accompanying thud, scaring Duke and causing Ruby to burst into a fit of laughter, covering her mouth with her free hand to stop herself from getting too loud. "Good morning!"
    November 12th, 2019 at 10:57pm
  • never sleep.

    never sleep. (100)

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    Riley hadn’t really expected to end up in a friends with benefits situation with Luke, but she’d be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy every moment of it. The sex was good, of course it was, but she also found it easy to just talk to him, to enjoy being in his arms, in a sexual manner or otherwise, and she often found herself wondering what it would be like to be in a real relationship with him, but she never dared to bring it up, not wanting to ruin what they currently had. When she’d woken up in Luke’s arms that morning, she’d been planning to enjoy it, maybe even to tease him a bit, but she felt a sudden wave of nausea that drove her quickly from the bed and into the bathroom, where she found herself emptying her stomach, coughing, sputtering, and shuddering with the feeling until it passed. Breathing out, she closed her eyes, trying to figure out what had caused the sudden nausea, but when she heard Luke, she chewed on her lip and grabbed some tissue to wipe her mouth before flushing the toilet. “Yeah, I’m in here,” she called out in retun, “Um… No, I don’t think I’m gonna go, I don’t have much of an appetite - don’t let that stop you, though!” Standing, she went to the sink and gathered water in her hands to splash it at her face, hoping it would help, and she patted her face dry with a towel before using the tooth brush she kept here to brush her teeth quickly, and rinsing her mouth out with mouthwash, though she soon stepped out of the bathroom, offering a weak smile to Luke. “Sorry, do you need the bathroom?”

    Michael was surprised when he woke up and found that Sasha wasn’t there, in his arms, like she was every morning. His brows pulled together, and he felt anxiety course through him, because he couldn’t help but worry about her. They’d been through so much, from losing their unborn child to nearly losing Sasha - her nearly losing her life, - and knowing that she was absent from the bed they shared made him worry. Hell, he worried about her when it came to even the simplest things; he couldn’t help it, not after everything that had happened. His eyes wandered the room carefully, as if she’d be in a corner of the room or even just looking through her clothes in their dresser, or scanning her perfumes and make up to get ready for the day - for all he knew, they may have something important to attend to today that he had forgotten about. When he didn’t see her, though, he felt his anxiety and concern spiking and he climbed from the bed quickly, wanting - needing - to find her and make sure that she was okay. “Sasha?” he called out quietly, unable to hide the concern in his voice, and he wandered through the room, over to the bathroom, figuring that she had to be in there, or maybe she was down in the kitchen. The bathroom was closer, though, so he wanted to check there first, and he paused when he heard her voice on the other side, confused when he registered her words. What was going on? “Sasha?” he called gently, reaching to lift his hand, knocking on the door lightly. “You okay in there, babe? What’s going on? Is something wrong?”

    Skye couldn’t believe what she was seeing, her eyes focused on a pair of blue lines on a pregnancy test, her heart twisting and aching in her chest. She hadn’t been feeling well the past few days, and she’d recognized the feeling from before - but, the only other time she’d felt like this was when she’d been pregnant before. She chewed hard on her lip, tears welling up in her eyes as she recalled the pain of losing that pregnancy, all too aware that, by now, she should be hearing tiny feet exploring the floors in hers and Harry’s home, but they hadn’t even gotten to experience the childbirth and hadn’t seen the baby in person, only ever seeing it on a screen. Breathing shakily, she wiped at her eyes, trying to calm down, and she leaned her head back against the bathroom wall, though the tears returned to her eyes when she heard Harry’s voice. How was she supposed to tell him? How were they going to deal with this again? What if they lost this one as well? She didn’t think she could bear it. Clearing her throat, she looked to the door. “You can come in, Harry,” she called, trying to ignore the way her voice shook and cracked, but she was sure Harry would realize what was happening the moment he walked in - she wasn’t bothering to hide the pregnancy test, she didn’t want to hide anything from him. But, she wasn’t sure how to say it, so a part of her hoped he would just realize it on his own.

    Cillian was beyond proud of the strength Kyrie showed each and every time they went to appointments for the IVF treatments. They wanted a family so desperately, so badly, but each treatment had gone through without a positive result, and it left both of them upset every single time, but Kyrie showed so much strength in handling it all that he couldn’t help but be amazed by her. He couldn’t imagine anybody else in the world that he’d want to share a baby with, create a life with, raise a child with. Everything about her made his heart happy, made him happy, and he loved her so much for it, in ways that he couldn’t even begin to explain, with a strength he’d never even known was possible. And, yet, with Kyrie, it was - he’d found his one, he was sure of it, the one woman that he was meant to spend his life with, and he couldn’t imagine anything better, aside from having a child with her. They were trying so hard, and he was sure it would pay off some day, but even if it didn’t, at least he still had Kyrie in his life, as his. Giving a noise when he heard her voice, he found himself stirring slightly, waking up, and he blinked his eyes open, peering down at her before he drew her closer to himself. “I am now,” he promised quietly, lifting his hand to run his fingers through her hair gently, breathing out as he relaxed with her in his arms, wanting to hold her, wanting to be there for her. “You feeling alright?”

    Amara constantly found herself exhausted from the IVF treatments, and each time they went through it, it seemed to exhaust her more and more. But, she knew it was necessary, she knew this was what she wanted, and it was what Ashton wanted, too. And, if she had to suffer a little before they could finally reach their dream of having a child together, she would go through the IVF treatments as many times as possible until it finally worked, no matter how tired they made her, no matter how many negative results they got, no matter what. When she heard Ashton’s voice, she stirred slightly, but not fully, too tired to fully wake up yet, hardly aware of him parting from her and leaving the bed, and she found herself burying her face against her pillow instead, falling deeper into her sleep at first. Eventually, though, she forced herself awake, her eyes opening, and she peered around a bit, realizing Ashton wasn’t in bed, and the warmth from his spot had already ebbed away. “Ash?” she called out quietly, rubbing at her eyes before she sat up, though she wasn’t all that eager to get out of bed yet, still too tired to move too much.

    Calum gave a startled noise when he hit the ground, the feeling waking him up, and he groaned as he rubbed where his body made the most contact with the floor, his brows pulling together as he pouted. “What’d you do that for?” he complained, making a face as he peered towards the bed, watching Ruby for a moment before he forced himself up, standing and moving to the bed with a smirk, crawling over her to kiss her for a moment. “Good morning to you, too,” he murmured, nipping at her lip with a small grin, “Though that was a rude awakening. Very rude, even.” But, at least he was awake now, and he figured that meant he could spend time with Ruby. They werent together-together, but they were together enough to share more time together than just friends would, and they knew each other more intimately than some couples did, and he loved every moment of it. Moreover, a huge part of him wanted it to be more, wanted to make their relationship more official, but he also worried what that would do to what they had going on between them now. Forcing the thoughts to leave his mind, he smirked slightly as he eyed her, arching a brow. “How’d you sleep, hm?”
    March 8th, 2020 at 12:01pm
  • woah tommo!

    woah tommo! (100)

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    Luke leaned against the door frame of the bathroom with ease as River confirmed that's where she was, and when River denied wanting to go out - claiming loss of an appetite - he frowned softly. "Are you okay in there, sweetheart?" Luke asked with genuine concern, wondering if he should walk in, wait for River to give him permission, or do the sensible thing and knock. Just as he lifted his hand to knock, he blinked in surprise as the door opened, revealing River, who offered Luke a weak smile, and he offered one in return, quickly wrapping his arms around her waist, gently tugging her closer to himself, her very existence comforting him in a way that no one else could. "No, I'm good," Luke chuckled. "I was just worried about you, that's all." He squeezed around her gently. "Hey, if you don't wanna go out for breakfast, how about you go back to bed - take Piggy with you, we can watch a movie and I'll make us some grub?" He offered, raising his eyebrows hopefully.

    Sasha lifted her head as she heard Michael's concerned voice, and she didn't hesitate for a moment, rushing to open the door, her tears finally running their course down her cheeks; knowing that she needed Michael's comfort more than ever. "Michael," she cried, throwing herself into his arms, burying her face into his chest as her shoulders heaved with her sobs. "Oh my god, Michael, look." She sniffled, showing him the pregnancy test with shaking hands. "Michael, it's positive..." She looked up at him, fear and excitement and a mix of uncertainty behind her eyes - she would never try to hide how she was feeling from Michael, but at that moment, she understood her heart was uncertain on just which emotion she should settle on. "What do we do?"

    Harry heard Skye's voice giving him permission to come in, and noticing the way her voice cracked under the strain of unshed tears had his heart thumping wildly in his chest. Twisting the doorknob, Harry walked into the bathroom. "Sweetheart, what's the matter?" He kneeled down in front of the love of his life, hands gently resting upon her knees as his green eyes peered up at her. Studying her carefully to ensure she wasn't wounded, Harry paused when he caught sight of something familiar in Skye's hands, and he paused, looking to her again, before looking back to the pregnancy test, two lines stretched across the window. "Skye..." He whispered, his own voice breaking, feeling the beginnings of tears sting in his eyes, but he allowed them to fall, because he had hoped that they could try again one day - and although he wasn't expecting it so soon, the fact the day was here had him ready to break down and sob with uncertainty. Unsure of what to say, Harry looked up to Skye once more, smiling softly as he gently placed a hand on her side, his thumb running along her skin, just to the side of her belly button. "Let's hope this one sticks." Harry murmured, leaning to press a sweet kiss to her lips, his own bottom lip trembling as he pressed his forehead to Skye's. "How're you feeling? Do you want some breakfast?"

    Kyrie hummed happily as Cillian began to wake, his first instinct to pull her closer. The warmth of his bare chest was enough to comfort Kyrie, to reassure her that everything was so worth it, despite the worst times. Inhaling the scent of yesterday's cologne, still ingrained into his skin, Kyrie curled to his side further, letting the sound of his soft voice, the drawl of his Irish accent, lull her to security. Feeling his fingers run through her hair, Kyrie peered up at her lover, feeling him relax alongside her. "I'm okay." Kyrie promised quietly. "Just missed you, that's all." Kyrie yawned, snuggling further into Cillian, swearing she could get lost in him. Placing her hands on her tummy, Kyrie exhaled heavily. "Maybe this time will be the one?" She sighed hopefully. "What do you think?"

    Ashton was careful, as he ascended the stairs, to not spill any orange juice that sat in a glass on the tray. Ashton had made a breakfast fit for royalty; french toast, cereal, and a cup of tea with no milk and some sugar, just how Amara liked it. He'd allowed her to rest, knowing that IVF had been taking its toll on her body, wearing her out to the point where she would sleep for almost twelve hours at a time. It broke Ashton's heart, knowing that their attempts at creating a beautiful life was making his lover ache in ways he couldn't imagine, and he was so, so grateful to Amara for agreeing to put herself through all of this - all Ashton could do in return was spoil her, let her know that whatever she needed, he would do his best to provide. Hearing his name being called in Amara's morning voice, Ashton smiled softly, picking up the pace, and as he gently kicked open the bedroom door, he smiled as he caught sight of the beauty - her bed hair the cutest thing Ashton had the honour of witnessing. "Good morning, beauty." Ashton greeted, placing the tray carefully on her bedside table, before pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "How're you feeling, gorgeous?" He reached carefully to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

    Ruby giggled as Calum crawled over her, and returning his kiss, Ruby smiled softly. "I was bored and you were taking way too long to wake up." Ruby wrapped her arms around his neck, appreciating how godly Calum looked in the morning sunshine, his golden skin enlightened by the rays coming in through the gap in the blinds, brown eyes the colour of honey in the light. "Hopefully this will teach you a lesson to wake up before me." She teased, tugging playfully at his lower lip. Just having him with her like this was something Ruby considered the highest honour, because Calum could have any girl in this position, and yet, he chose her. "Mm, I slept okay..." Ruby peered up to Calum, and she wondered if a baby was the push they needed to take things - whatever this thing was - one step further and become an official couple. "How did you rest, gorgeous?" Ruby asked, running her fingers through his blue buzzcut, smirking as she remembered the day he'd first debuted the haircut, and how she spent all night ensuring her name was all that fell from his lips. "Sleep well? Sweet dreams?"
    April 3rd, 2020 at 10:14pm