eyes so dark

  • mikrokosmos.

    mikrokosmos. (100)

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    they say I may be making a mistake
    I woulda followed you all the way, no matter how far
    I know, when you go down all your darkest roads
    I woulda followed you all the way to the graveyard.

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    Luke Hemmings x River Shields
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    Michael Clifford x Sasha Black
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    Harry Styles x Skye Marshall
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    Cillian Murphy x Kyrie Rogers
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    Ashton Irwin x Amara Nolan
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    Calum Hood x Ruby Edwin
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    December 4th, 2019 at 06:26pm
  • overcome.

    overcome. (100)

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    River couldn’t think of a morning in the past few years where she hadn’t woken up, curled in Luke’s arms. Even as she woke now, all she wanted was to stay close to him. They’d been through so much together, especially when they’d lost an unborn child that they’d been so excited and happy about. It had left scars on both of them, emotionally, but they got through it all together, despite how broken they’d been when it happened. And, as much as she wanted to stay curled up in Luke’s arms this morning and forget about everything they’d been through and just relish in the fact that she was in her hold, she felt suddenly nauseous - overwhelmingly so, to the point that it drove her from the bed within moments and she was quickly heading to the bathroom to empty her stomach into the toilet, though she didn’t understand where the sudden nausea came from.

    When Michael awoke, he couldn’t help but to draw Sasha, the love of his life, closer to himself, burying his face in her hair, wanting to have her as close to himself as he possibly could, wanting to know that she was there. He found himself thanking all the stars and gods in existence for the fact that he had somebody as amazing and perfect as Sasha in his life, that she was his, even after everything they had gone through. He’d nearly lost her, and the thought of it had broken him so badly that he hadn’t been sure he could ever recover. But, every morning that he woke up with her there, he found himself relieved, happy to have her there, grateful that his worst nightmares hadn’t come to pass that they hadn’t become a reality back then. They’d lost their unborn child, and they mourned it, to the point that it nearly broke them apart, but they’d held on strong, held on so tightly to each other that it was almost frightening, and they’d gotten through it together, though the loss still got to them on occasion. Chewing on his lip, he breathed out quietly and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Morning, love,” he whispered.

    Skye was tired, for more reasons than one. Even though she’d gotten a pretty good sleep, she hadn’t been feeling her best lately, and it didn’t help that the IVF treatments exhausted her in so many ways. As she stirred, she found herself watching Harry and, despite how unwell she felt, she couldn’t help but to find a certain solace in Harry’s presence - in a way that only Harry could ever provide. Shifting, she moved closer to him and buried her face against him, just wanting to be as close to him as she could be. They’d been trying so hard to have a baby and, each time they were presented with a negative result, she couldn’t help but feel guilty, upset because all she wanted was to give both her and Harry their dream. “Harry,” she murmured eventually, her voice quiet, and she breathed out quietly before breathing in his scent, finding comfort in it, “Harry, wake up, babe…”

    Cillian woke earlier than normal. It wasn’t something he could really help, not today of all days. Watching Kyrie, he found himself running his fingers through her hair absently, holding her close to himself. She’d always been the strongest woman he knew, but after all they’d gone through lately, it proved him right with that. The IVF treatments had taken their toll on her in so many ways, and yet they had persisted through it all, and he didn’t care how much money he had to spend - as long as Kyrie wanted a baby, he would do everything he could to try to make that possible for them. Sighing with the thought, he brought her closer to himself, reaching to rub her back gently, wanting to do all that he could to help her through this, in whatever way was necessary. He knew they had an appointment today to find out whether this latest round of IVF treatment had paid off or not - and, if it hadn’t, then they’d try again - but all he wanted was to keep holding her. “Kyrie,” he murmured eventually, “You awake yet, sweetheart?”

    Amara had never imagined herself as somebody who could have a no-strings-attached relationship with somebody. Or, well, “relationship” probably wasn’t the right word. Either way, here she was, finding herself in an endless friends with benefit situation with Ashton, of all people. As careful and shy and innocent as Amara could sometimes be, she found herself comfortable with Ashton in ways she’d never been comfortable with anybody before, even if what was going on between them wasn’t an actual relationship. As she woke beside the man who definitely affected her and meant more to her than she cared to admit, she chewed on her lip before standing to get dressed. As much as she wanted to stay there, curled up with him, she tried not to overstay her welcome. As she was getting dressed, though, she felt a wave of dizziness - one of many she’d been experiencing lately, - and she reached out to the wall to stabilize herself as she tried to breathe through it.

    Calum found himself waking with the sun, and he didn’t mind one bit, because he saw that he was waking up next to Ruby, and he couldn’t imagine a sight better. Despite that they had come to a sort of friends with benefits agreement, he still found himself fond of the woman in ways that he knew was more than just friendly - and more than just sexual as well. She was the most gorgeous woman he knew, both inside and out, and he found himself enjoying her presence, even when they weren’t having sex. Moments like this, where he could just take her in with the light of the sun streaming in through his blinds, he couldn’t help but admire her, especially when she was unaware, because then she couldn’t remind him that all they were were friends with benefits. He knew a part of him wanted more, even if he couldn’t bring himself to say it, or to accept it outright, for that matter, but he settled for this, for moments where he could just watch her, admire her, be as close to her as possible. “Ruby,” he called out quietly, “You hungry?”
    March 7th, 2020 at 11:51am
  • mikrokosmos.

    mikrokosmos. (100)

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    Even in his sleep, Luke's heart and soul could sense River's absence from her rightful place in his arms, and he awoke with fear coursing through his veins; because if River wasn't beside him, Luke was certain the sky would fall and the world would crumble in on itself. It almost had when they'd lost their unborn child which they'd already loved so, so dearly; because River was nearly taken from him as well, and Luke realised during the whole ordeal that losing River was his worst fear. But the aftermath of the miscarriage had been painful, and Luke had become much more protective of River, because the emotional scars they both wore often took their toll on her, and Luke wanted to be strong so she could shed the tears Luke knew she carried. Exhaling, Luke reminded himself that River was okay, they'd made it through together and he loved her more than ever. "River?" Luke called, voice still groggy with sleep as he sat up, seeing Petunia curled up at the end of the bed. Running a hand through his disheveled curls, Luke stood to his feet, heading to the one place he thought of first: the bathroom. "Sweetheart, you in there?"

    Sasha began to stir as she felt Michael's arms tighten around her, gently tugging her further into the warmth of his chest, and she exhaled, smiling softly as Michael buried his face into her hair, gently placing her hand over Michael's. "Good morning," Sasha greeted sleepily; unable to stop her thoughts from drifting to the fact that there should of been a baby crib in the corner of the room; protected by South and Moose. Sighing, Sasha silently reminded herself that they had done their mourning for the child they'd lost, and they had gotten through it together, and that was a small piece of hope in such a hopeless situation. Feeling Michael press a kiss to the top of her head, Sasha smiled. "I love you, Michael, you know that?" But as the words passed her lips, Sasha registered the nausea that flared up from the pit of her stomach. "Oh god," she murmured, moving to stand up quickly, rushing to the bathroom and slamming the door shut behind her, just about managing to make it to the toilet basin.

    Harry stirred as he heard Skye's voice, and his subconscious told him to wake up and be there for the woman he loved, to be there for the woman who had been going through trials and tribulations with round after round of IVF. He knew that each round was more exhausting than the last, and he respected Skye for being so incredibly strong throughout it all. He was certain he had shed more tears on her behalf than she had. Shifting with the thought, Harry exhaled with happiness as he felt Skye bury her face against his bare skin, and he instantly welcomed her embrace by wrapping his arms around her, engulfing her protectively, swearing that one day, no matter the cost, their dream of becoming parents would come true. "Good morning, my sweet." Harry greeted quietly, voice deep with sleep. Pressing a sweet kiss to the top of Skye's head, he nuzzled into her hair, realising that today, they would be faced with the best news of their life, or another negative test and an accompanying sympathetic gaze from the Doctor. "Today's the day, love." Harry murmured, although just that thought caused his own heartbeat to speed up with anxiety - he couldn't even imagine how Skye felt. "How're you feeling?"

    Kyrie slowly began to wake as the sweet sound of Cillian's voice lulled her from her rest, and already, she felt her body begin to ache, her head begin to spin unprompted. Groaning a little - barely audible - Kyrie closed the small space between herself and Cillian, burying her face into his shoulder, eyes still firmly shut to keep herself steady. She was so exhausted, constantly, she was so amazed at how Cillian managed to remain so patient with her. "Good morning, Cil." She murmured softly, voice a little raspy with sleep still, and as it dawned on her that today was the date of their appointment, she nuzzled further into his embrace, depending on the warmth of his skin and the sweet sound of his Irish drawl to keep her grounded. "Does it have to be today?" She asked, finally lifting her gaze to meet Cillian's blue eyes, so familiar and so much like home. "Can't we just cuddle all day?"

    Ashton, when he'd first met Amara, had assumed that she was nothing more than a sweet-toothed darling, innocent and bullet proof against corruption, but he was so, so wrong - in the best way. They'd both found themselves in a situation that was beneficial to the both of them, and yet, Ashton still craved so much more than what they'd already had - he'd known for a while that she affected him in a way he couldn't admit to, but damn it, he refused to ruin what they had with stupid feelings that only got people hurt. Shifting when he felt movement from beside him, Ashton groaned, throwing his arm over his eyes to guard him from the sunlight. "Amara," Ashton groaned. "Get back here, I'm cold." And it was true. He'd become so accustomed to having Amara beside him, that his bed felt just a little (okay, a lot) more lonelier when she was absent. When she didn't reply, Ashton frowned, removing his arm from his eyes, seeing her leaning against the wall. "Woah, woah..." Ashton spoke gently, standing to his feet as he placed a hand on the small of her back. "Are you okay there, bug?" He frowned, bringing his free hand to her forehead. "You're a little feverish."

    Ruby wouldn't admit it to a single fucking soul, but sleeping beside Calum Hood was a dream come true. They'd started their little agreement a little over five months ago, and Ruby was certain she'd been living in heaven since. Calum meant so much to her, as a friend, a fuck buddy, and something more that Ruby couldn't - and wouldn't - identify. He was something so brilliant, and Ruby could admit that she was glad Calum had chosen her, even if it wasn't in the way Ruby secretly craved for. When the light from the rising sun began to flood into Calum's bedroom, the brunette groaned, eyes closed and lips slightly parted as she began to regain consciousness. Feeling a stirring in her stomach, Ruby shifted, clearly uncomfortable, but as she heard Calum's voice, she opened her eyes. "Hungry?" She pulled a slight face. "Not really... but you go and make yourself something babe." And as the light of the sun began to brighten, Ruby groaned, burying her face into the pillow as the room spun.
    March 7th, 2020 at 01:21pm
  • overcome.

    overcome. (100)

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    River felt her heart rate pick up when she heard Luke’s voice, because the last thing she’d wanted to do was to wake him. Standing shakily, she flushed the toilet and went to brush her teeth, trying to get rid of any telltale sign that she’d been sick, because she didn’t want to worry Luke. She’d put him through so much when she’d miscarried, the last thing she wanted to do was to cause him concern of any kind. “Yeah, I’m in here,” she assured quietly, checking herself in the mirror before she made her way out of the bathroom, offering a weak smile up at him. “Sorry, I just, uh…” She wasn’t sure what to tell him. She didn’t want to lie, but she didn’t want him to worry too much. “I just wasn’t feeling too well. We can head back to bed if you want?”

    Michael smiled slightly down at Sasha when he heard her tired greeting, and he shifted, turning his hand a bit to hold her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Morning, baby,” he greeted quietly, leaning to press a kiss to her forehead, shifting to hold her closer to himself, rubbing her back gently. “How’d you sleep?” After everything they’d been through, he hoped that she’d had nothing but good dreams, because that was what she deserved. She’d almost died, he’d almost lost her, and the last thing he wanted was for her to ever suffer in any way again, no matter how simple it was. “I love you, too.” He smiled gently down at her, but he blinked, surprised, his brows furrowed when he saw her rush out of the room. Quickly, he stood to follow her, worried. “Babe? What’s wrong?” But, when he saw her bent over the toilet, puking, he quickly rushed over to rub her back, hoping to help her through it.

    Skye smiled tiredly when she heard Harry’s voice, relaxing with the fact that she wasn’t awake alone, because her thoughts were running wild and some part of her desperately needed Harry to distract her. “Moring,” she whispered, shifting closer to him to bury her face against him, breathing in his scent, comforted by his presence. Her fingers curled into his shirt and she tried her best to relax even after hearing Harry’s reminder. “Yeah… Let’s hope we get good news…” She was doubtful, though. Every treatment had resulted in heartbreak, and all she wanted was to have a child with the man she loved, but it seemed impossible. “Tired… Stressed,” she admitted quietly, “You?”

    Cillian watched Kyrie quietly, reaching to run his fingers through her hair gently, holding her close, trying to do anything and everything that he could to soothe her if that was what she needed, to comfort her, because he hated not being able to do anything to make this all easier for her. “If you wanna skip out on the appointment to cuddle all day, we can,” he promised her quietly, though he was sure she’d change her mind about that before long. He knew she wanted a child as much as he did, and while each failed treatment caused them both to endure tears and pain, he knew neither of them wanted to give up - and the sooner they knew whether this one worked or not, the better. Either they’d hear the greatest news they could ever hope to ask for, or they’d be able to set up the appointment for the next treatment. He hoped and prayed that they would hear good news, though. “How are you feeling, love?”

    Amara nearly jolted in surprise when she felt Ashton’s hand on her back, having not even really registered that he’d been talking to her, too dizzy and too nauseous to even realize that he’d woken up at all. Looking up at him, she couldn’t help but shift, leaning against him. The last thing she ever wanted was to make Ashton feel uncomfortable or to make things between them seem like more than what they were, but right now, with how unwell she felt, she found herself needing him, his comfort, his guidance, because she didn’t think she could even move on her own right now. “Sorry, I just… I don’t feel so good, Ash,” she murmured, barely able to get the words out because she could feel the dizziness getting worse, and it caused her to whine, pressing her face into Ashton’s chest in hopes of getting it to just stop.

    Calum’s brows furrowed together when he heard the groan that escaped Ruby, and he watched her with concern, shifting closer. “Ruby? Something wrong?” he asked gently, his concern growing when he heard the second groan that left her. Shifting, he pulled her to himself gently, rubbing her back. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” He frowned gently as he watched her, unsure of what to do, unsure of how to help, and wishing that whatever was bothering her would ease up and leave her alone. She meant more to him than he could say aloud - too worried about what it would do to what they had become, about losing her because he wanted her in a deeper, more personal way, - and to see her seeming so sick, so upset… He didn’t know what to do or how to help and he hated it. “Do we need to go to the doctor or something? Tell me what to do to help…”
    October 27th, 2020 at 10:54pm
  • mikrokosmos.

    mikrokosmos. (100)

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    Luke saw the weakness behind River's smile, and frowning, Luke gently placed his large hands on her shoulders, squeezing gently, reassuringly, wanting her to know that he was with her for the long haul, and whatever came their way, having River by his side was so completely worth it. "You're a terrible liar," Luke gently lifted a hand from River's shoulder to move her hair from her face, feeling her clammy forehead, the need to protect her rising within his chest; because he'd nearly lost her once, he'd let hell freeze over before anything could touch her - and that meant death itself. "Why don't you go and lie down, love?" Luke offered gently, leaning to press a sweet kiss to River's forehead. "I'll get you a cup of tea and some breakfast, it'll do you the world of good to eat something." Allowing his hand to fall to caress her cheek, Luke smiled softly. "Go and keep warm. I'm sure Petunia will be more than happy to keep you company until I get back." And pressing to kiss her forehead once more, Luke moved to walk past her, anxiety bubbling within the pit of his stomach because they'd been through something like this before, and damn it, he didn't want to get his hopes up.

    Sasha coughed once everything was out of her system, and exhaling a shaky breath, Sasha loosened her grip on the edge of the basin, her knuckles white from just how tight it had been. Feeling Michael's hand on her back, Sasha closed her eyes and steadied herself, standing straight and pushing her hair from her face. "Thanks, babe. I owe you one." Sasha tried to bring humour back into the tense atmosphere, but knew her words would fall flat the moment Michael had registered them, because he was so protective - and Sasha could admit that she loved it, loved him and the way he held her that little tighter, kissed her that little longer... making her way to her beloved toothbrush, Sasha flushed the toilet before spreading out some mint toothpaste onto the bristles, brushing her teeth. "Well, up and at 'em, I guess." She spoke through a mouth full of fluoride, trying not to let Michael see she wasn't feeling her best, her spare hand falling to her tummy so naturally.

    Harry smiled softly as Skye buried her face against him, and wrapping an arm around her, Harry tugged her closer, holding her tighter and swearing silently to protect her at all costs. Rubbing soothing circles into Skye's back, Harry felt the way her fingers curled into the flimsy material of his t-shirt, and his smile fell, because he could sense Skye's anxiety the more his body began to pull itself out of the throes of sleep, confirmed by her words. "Oh, darling." Harry murmured, shifting to wrap her in his embrace, into a tight bear hug that even if she'd wanted to, she couldn't quite shake off. "I love you so much." Harry reminded, his voice soft. "It'll happen for us, I just know it." Sighing, Harry buried his face into her hair, nuzzling into the love of his life, finding comfort in her. "You've been so wonderful through all of this." Harry promised. "I can't wait for you to be the mother of my children." He promised, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, before allowing the silence to take over for a long moment, before he smiled to himself, figuring she'd need a distraction. Letting go of Skye, Harry climbed off the bed. "Get dressed!" Harry clapped then. "We're going out for breakfast before our appointment, because the sun is out and the cafe in the square makes the best eggs." Harry winked. "Manifestation, see?"

    Kyrie sighed her anxiety away as Cillian's fingers ran through her hair, their bodies pressed together in a beautiful, intimate way, and Kyrie pressed a sweet kiss to Cillian's shoulder, and as he spoke, Kyrie listened, and shook her head. "No, we need to do this." She tried to keep her determination, but God, it was difficult. It was so fucking difficult, but Cillian was the one who helped her keep her composure, because eventually, they would share a beautiful child together, and that was enough to keep her going. Stretching out, Kyrie rested her head upon Cillian's chest once more, nuzzling into the warmth and comfort he provided. "I'm just tired, Cillian." Kyrie murmured. "It's got to work eventually, I really do feel like we're at the last hurdle, we can't give up now." Kyrie bit her lip as she sat up, running her hands through her hair to smooth out any kinks the night had caused, and looking over her shoulder, she grinned at her boyfriend. "And you, sir, are a vision."

    Ashton allowed Amara to lean against him, and pressing a kiss to the top of her head, Ashton wrapped an arm around her shoulders, tugging her closer, wanting to provide her with comfort, with the overwhelming love he felt for her, the love he was almost desperate for her to return. "Easy, easy..." Ashton soothed, pressing another kiss to the top of her head. "Don't apologise, bug." Ashton murmured, frowning as she pressed her face against his chest, and Ashton pulled her onto his lap carefully, leaning against the headboard so they were both comfortable. "C'mere." Ashton whispered, rubbing gentle circles into Amara's back, his anxiety flaring up. He'd never known Amara to be like this, so vulnerable and unlike herself, and it broke his heart in a way he couldn't even put into words. Pulling the blanket over them, Ashton moved out from beneath Amara, letting her take up the bed, and he wasted no time with plumping up the pillows and ensuring that the blanket was warm enough for her. "I'm going to call a Doctor." Ashton frowned, clearly worried. "You get some rest, baby. I'll be back." And grabbing his phone, Ashton disappeared out of the bedroom.

    Ruby frowned into the pillow when she heard the concern in Calum's voice, and feeling his arms around her, Ruby relaxed, burying her face into Calum's shoulder, her arms wrapped around his abdomen to soothe herself and remind herself that he was right there, the one thing she wanted, but could never have, because they agreed that no strings attached was the best approach the both of them could take, and fuck, she wished they could be so much more. "I don't feel right, Cal." Ruby whimpered, the room spinning even as she kept her eyes firmly closed, and taking a few moments to breathe deeply, Ruby opened her eyes to allow her tears to escape freely, and all she truly wanted was Calum's comfort. "I don't know what to do." Ruby whispered, pale and clammy.
    July 1st, 2021 at 10:11pm