boy without a crown || closed

Freya stared at the entrance to the garden, where family and friends were gathered waiting on the last few people to arrive. Moving out of Maryland was one of the best decisions she had made at the age of eighteen. She had to get away from him and even though it also kept her from her family and friends, if she had stayed the cycle would’ve continued – and who knows where she’d be now. Work brought her back about 6 months prior, but she hadn’t made that public knowledge. Only the Bride to be and her family had knowledge of this – fortunately she was able to skip out on 90% of the wedding preparations that he was also a part of. Unfortunately – tonight was the dress rehearsal and she couldn’t avoid seeing him any longer.

Lizzi White had been her absolute best friend since pre-school. The two girls went everywhere and did everything together. Eventually, she had met a boy and the pair became inseparable – it was only natural that her best friend and his skunk-haired best friend eventually fell for one another. Lizzi got the good one though – Freya…. She got the short end of the stick. She met him as a freshman and for the first year or-so everything was great. Then they went into the end of sophomore year and somehow – he had become the guy every girl wanted…. And the guy that every girl got. For two and a half years their relationship was a toxic cycle of him cheating, her finding out and breaking up with him, him begging for forgiveness and promising it wouldn’t happen again, her taking him back, and then the cycle restarts. And as their band got bigger – it only got worse. It was never ending – and Freya had become emotionally withdrawn and was constantly in a state of depression. How could the boy she loved with her entire being… treat her like this? He claimed he loved her – so why did he keep cheating?

Then it happened – Graduation Night, 2006. That morning he had finally convinced her to give him another shot after 2 weeks of begging. It was the longest she had ever been able to hold out, but she inevitably forgave him. She was excited to be able to share this day with all the people she loved – but after the ceremony Alex had disappeared. It didn’t take too long to find him, in his car, in the parking lot of the school, half naked with a topless girl underneath him. Freya had watched the two – the girl was a sophomore she recognized as the little sister to a mutual friend – for a few seconds longer then she needed to as the tears welled up in her eyes. She took a deep breath, set his graduation gift on the back of his car, and walked away. She never looked back – he never saw her. The next day she changed her number, packed up her things and left. It’s been 13 years since that night. Lizzi stayed with Jack, and two years ago he proposed.

So now here she was – at the dress rehearsal of her best friend and the best friend of her ex boyfriend’s wedding. According to Jack, they went on tour that summer and he had drowned himself in beer and girls – he hadn’t mentioned her name since she left. So hopefully, she could get out of this event virtually painless. Slowly, she let out a deep breath she didn’t know she was holding, adjusted the short black dress she was wearing, look one last look in the rearview mirror and got out of the car, walking up to the small gather of people that included Lizzi and Jack.

After the initial euphoria of Jack proposing to her, Lizzi was overwhelmed with wedding plans. All of the different themes, place setting options, different venues… it was enough to blow her mind. The brunette knew one thing for sure, though—she wanted Freya standing there next to her as her maid of honor. Freya was still the best friend that Lizzi ever had, and her moving changed nothing. Lizzi went to visit Freya whenever she could, the two still went on trips together and were pretty much in constant contact—even when Freya moved back to town. When Jack asked Lizzi to marry him, the first person she called wasn’t even her mother—it was Freya.

With Alex being Jack’s obvious selection for his best man, Lizzi made the decision that Freya didn’t have to be as heavily involved with the wedding prep as her other three bridesmaids were. She knew that seeing Alex again would bring all of the hurt back to the surface, and Lizzi wanted to prevent that as long as possible. As much as she loved Alex like a brother, her first loyalty was to Freya. Always.

Before Lizzi knew it, the engagement flew by and it was time for the rehearsal dinner. She’d told Freya that she didn’t have to come to the rehearsal dinner. But she insisted, saying she had to be there for her best friend. And Lizzi knew better than to try and convince Freya not to do something she was dead set on. So, Lizzi and Jack sat down the day before the rehearsal dinner and tried to hash out a plan. Freya and Alex had to walk down the aisle together, being maid of honor and best man—there was no avoiding contact there. But just maybe, if the couple stayed alert and were on their toes, they could minimize the interaction between the two.

That brought Lizzi to where she was right then—talking to Jack and his parents when she saw Freya walk up to them, clad in the dress that they’d gone shopping for the week before. The bride’s face lit up at the sight of her best friend and she politely excused herself from the conversation, running up and throwing her arms around Freya. “Hey, you! You look so good… I told you that dress was a good choice.” She gave Freya one more squeeze before leading her back to the group. “Mom, dad, you remember my best friend Freya?” Lizzi asked, reintroducing her best friend to Joy and Bassam.

---

Every day for almost fourteen years, Alex woke up hating himself. He never saw Freya’s face, but Lizzi (very angrily) told him everything he needed to know. He broke Freya’s heart. It was a fact that her best friend never let him forget. Alex never protested, though—that was his punishment for what he’d done. Watching his best friend build his future with the love of his life while Alex was hurting was his punishment. And he deserved nothing less.

Some days were easier than others—like when he was playing shows, or sitting on the couch watching Property Brothers with the dogs. But most days if Alex was able to get out of bed before noon, he counted it as a victory.
The day of Lizzi and Jack’s rehearsal dinners was one of his hard days. Lizzi had called him the day before to tell him that Freya would be coming to the festivities, and he was to stay the fuck away from her and have no interaction beyond walking down the aisle together. From the moment that Alex heard that information, he’d been in various stages of a panic attack. What would happen when he laid eyes on Freya for the first time in almost fifteen years? Would she scream at him? Call him every filthy name in the book? Would the wounds of the past be ripped open again? Alex briefly considered staying in bed and skipping the rehearsal dinner—but he knew how much the evening meant to Jack and Lizzi. So, he got up and faced the daunting task of getting ready.

Alex hopped into the steaming hot spray of the shower and scrubbed until his skin was raw. He washed his face, styled his hair to its normal tousled perfection, and then went back across the hall to his bedroom. The vocalist changed into a pair of black jeans and a mint green button up (that Lizzi had picked out) complete with a black bowtie before slipping on his shoes. Once he was dressed, Alex checked himself out in the mirror. “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be,” He spoke to himself. Grabbing his phone and wallet off of the bedside table, Alex headed downstairs. He snatched his keys off the hook by the door before walking outside to his truck. Alex took a deep breath before hopping inside and turning the vehicle on, heading toward the venue where the rehearsal dinner was located.

Jack watched as the woman he loved, the woman who would be his wife this time tomorrow, lit up and excused herself from their conversation with his parents. Freya Anderson, the woman responsible for him getting the girl of his dreams, was the reason behind the distraction. He chuckled as Lizzi basically tackled Freya in a hug and brought her back to the small group of him and his parents. He zoned out slightly as he watched the two girls walking towards them, thinking about how this day came to pass.

Lizzi and Freya had been friends since elementary school, the two were inseparable. During freshman year of high school Freya had met Alex Gaskarth, his best friend. He hadn’t known Alex for nearly as long as Lizzi and Freya, but they were equally as inseparable. So, when Alex and Freya started hanging out more often, Jack and Lizzi tagged along – and that was how he met the love of his life. Unfortunately, Alex let the notoriety of their growing band go to his head and after a while, he started treating Freya like dirt – constantly cheating on her. It was a never-ending cycle of break ups and getting together all throughout high school – and it caused a lot of fights between Lizzi and himself. She could never understand why he stood by Alex’s side, but she wasn’t one to make him choose. It finally ended on Graduation night, when Alex went back to his cheating ways hours after she had taken him back. She left town, they left for tour, and Alex never mentioned her name again. Though, it was easy to tell what songs were about her. Alex was never the same – never as bubbly and outgoing as he was with her.

He knew that Alex still had strong feelings for Freya, so when it came to picking best Man and Maid of Honor, who have to walk down the aisle together, and share the wedding party dance together, Jack was hesitant to choose Alex, but Freya assured him that she’d be able to get through the evening. His fiancé however, had a few choice words and rules for Alex – which were graciously accepted. Coming back to reality Jack grinned as Freya shook his parent’s hands, reintroducing herself. “Freysie!” He exclaimed, engulfing the short girl in yet another hug. “We’ve missed you – not that you weren’t just at our house yesterday.” He joked “Watch your back – Rian and Zack are eager to see you again.”

---

“Ah, Jackie boy!” Freya toppled slightly as the tall lanky man crushed her in a hug “get used to it, your marrying my girl.” She quipped back to him. Her eyes scanned the small crowd, there weren’t many people at all. The rest of the bridesmaids, Jacks parents, Lizzi’s parents, Rian and Zack, and one other man she didn’t recognize. No sign of Him. They were about 5 minutes from starting, so surely, he would be here soon.

“Excuse me, I’m going to go say a quick hi to your parents Liz.” Freya smiled, backing away for the happy couple and walking towards to two that had basically been like a second set of parents for her. She didn’t get to see them now, as often as she got to see Lizzi, but she still kept in touch. Hugs were exchanged as they talked a bit about how she had been, moving back and how her job was treating her. Freya’s back was to the entrance, so she heard him before she saw him, but she couldn’t mistake that voice. The voice that, for years made her stomach fill with butterflies and her heart pound straight from her chest. Now it threw her stomach in knots and she froze, refusing to turn around to see him as he greeted his best friend and fiancé.

She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t kept up with the band. She’d be lying if she said she only did it to support the other three members. Truth was, she had always believed in the four of them – and she was proud of all their success. So yes – she kept up with their music. And yes, she bought their merch. The one thing, the only thing, she refused to do… was go to a show. She hadn’t seen Alexander Gaskarth in person since the night she left, nearly fourteen years prior. All that was about to change.

Lizzi bit her lip when she saw Alex’s car pull up into the lot, knowing that he and Freya were both about to open up a lot of old wounds. She just hoped that Alex would listen to her (rather strongly worded) instructions from the previous night. “Hey, Lex,” she spoke when came up to them, giving him a hug. “I’m glad you actually went with the shirt I picked… not that you had a choice.” Lizzi joked. She looked over her shoulder where Freya was still talking with her parents before turning her attention back to Alex. “Remember what I told you yesterday. If I see even one tear in her eye, it’s your ass.” Lizzi spoke as a parting message, leaving Jack and Alex to talk amongst themselves. She headed over to Freya and her parents, giving her best friend’s hand a tight squeeze, letting her know that everything was going to be okay.

“We’re just waiting on Rian to get here and then we can run through the rehearsal, and finally we can drink and eat.” Lizzie teased, gently nudging Freya with her elbow. It was Freya’s idea to have Rian pull double duty as both the officiant and a groomsman, and Lizzi loved the idea. “I made sure they stocked some of the shitty whisky we used to drink back when we were like, what? Fifteen?” Lizzie spoke, leading Freya away from her parents. Almost as if on cue, Rian waltzed through the door mumbling an apology about being late and using the traffic as an excuse. “Well, ladies and gentleman, Rian’s late! I know we’re all shocked by this.” Lizzi teased as she went to go give her friend a hug. “We can get started once Chip Skylark here takes off his coat.”

--

Alex’s head was on a swivel the second he walked into the venue. Before he could even begin to look for Freya, Lizzi popped up in front of him, giving him a hug and repeating her words from the previous night. “I’ll behave, Liz… promise.” He offered her his pinkie, shrugging when she walked away. Naturally, she made a beeline for Freya and Alex followed her with his eyes. When he saw her, it was like he’d been punched in the stomach. Alex didn’t think it was possible, but Freya had gotten even more beautiful over the years. His stomach seized and all of the memories from back then came flooding back. The vocalist suddenly wished he had a drink in his hand, something to distract himself. He busied himself in a conversation with Jack’s parents, watching as Rian entered the room and took off his coat. With every passing second Alex grew more and more nervous and he feared he would vomit. It wouldn’t be long before Freya was close to him for the first time in years—close enough for Alex to reach out and touch.

After Rian got himself settled, Lizzi announced that it was time for a quick run through of the ceremony, and then dinner. Alex swallowed the lump in his throat and followed the rest of the groomsmen and bridesmaids to line up. His heart started beating faster and faster as Lizzi, her father, and Freya headed toward the back of the line. This is it. I’m going to die right here. Lizzi will never let me hear the end of it. The sudden realization that someone was next to him caused Alex to snap out of his thoughts. He glanced over at Freya without moving his head and suddenly it was like they were in high school all over again. Everything in Alex’s body was screaming at him to say something to Freya. But what could be said? He knew if he said the wrong thing and caused Freya to cry, Lizzi would have no qualms about beating his ass in front of all of their family and friends. “You look beautiful,” Alex whispered, offering Freya his arm so they could walk down the aisle.

Freya felt a hand in her own and immediately felt the presence of her best friend, the pressure in her hand showing that she was here for her. She did her best not to pay him any mind, but her body was tense and she was obviously on edge. It was nerves, that's all. She hadnt seen him since he broke her heart for the last time... any normal reaction would be nervous. It had absolutely nothing to do with the feeling she never got over... it had nothing to do with the fact that this man, the only man she'd ever given her heart to..... still had it. Right?

Regardless, it was time. Rian had finally arrived and it was time for the rehearsal. Lizzi greeted Rian with a hug and it didnt take long for him to notice Freya trailing behind her. "Its good to see you Ri..." she smiled, chuckling a bit when he engulfed her in a hug. 'Freya you look absolutely astonishing.' He grinned, happy to finally have the whole group back together. "I'd love to catch up but it'll have to wait until dinner, I'm going to head back with Lizzi." She smiled back, stepping away from the hug and heading towards the back of the line with the other bridesmaids.

Rian would be first down the aisle, followed by the unnamed friend, Zack, bridesmaids with each of them, and finally the Best Man and the Maid of Honor - her and Alex. As they all lined up and Rian began talking them through the ceremony Freya couldnt help but feel her body tense once more. Immediately she knew, Alex was by her side. It felt like years were passing in the mere seconds it took for him to speak, though it seemed like he was wrestling with whether he even should say something. That was probably Lizzi's doing. She took in a deep breathe, moving her eyes to meet his face as she accepted his extended arm. Her breath caught in her throat - the years had treated him well... but she could tell that he hadnt. The spark in his eyes that she loved, the one that mad him Alex Gaskarth... it wasnt there. Clearing her throat, she finally spoke. "Thank you... I like your shirt."

---

Jack grinned as Alex arrived, clapping his Best Man on the back in a quick hug. Lizzi walked away and he whistled lowly, "Sorry man... you know how she gets about.. well. You know how she gets." He faulted, not wanting to say her name. He could tell Alex was scanning the crowd to find her, and there werent many people so he know it wouldnt take long.

"So, we're just waiting on Rian. Running late, as per usual." He chuckled, making conversation with Alex and his parents. It didnt take long for Rian to show and before long they were gathered in lines, practicing the timing of walking down the aisle. At this time, he stood at the altar, his eyes focused on Alex and Freya. Alex spoke first, but Freya responded not long after. She and him had spoken and she promised to try not to start any drama - Freya loved Lizzi and Jack too much to ruin their wedding with High School drama. Slowly, his eyes moved to his fiancee's, immediately noticing she was watching them intently. He chuckled, shaking his head, with how protective Lizzi was over Freya... she'd make an amazing mom.

Her voice was like music to Alex’s ears. He smiled softly when Freya complimented his shirt. “Lizzi picked it out for me—said I had to match the wedding colors.” Alex teased as they began to walk down the aisle. Almost reluctantly, Alex let go of Freya’s arm to go stand behind Jack. Rian walked up from the back of the line to stand in the middle of Jack and Lizzi. He performed a quick run through of the ceremony, but Alex really wasn’t paying much attention. The vocalist was too busy looking at Freya. Beautiful wasn’t even the proper word. She was striking. The years had obviously treated her a whole hell of a lot better than they treated him. Karma was a real thing, and it was working its havoc on him.

Alex clapped along with everyone else when Jack and Lizzi kissed. He could hardly wait until tomorrow when it was for real. Despite everything that was going on in his life, he was over the moon for his friends. True, real love was rare. When you find it, you hold onto it tightly and never let it go. Alex figured that out firsthand. “Okay, so, after the kiss, we walk back down the aisle, blah blah blah, you guys are married. Let’s eat.” Rian spoke, punctuating the sentence by clapping his hands together.

He watched Jack and Lizzi walk down the aisle before walking closer to Freya, offering her his arm one more time.

--
Lizzi watched Alex and Freya like a hawk, ready to separate the two if Alex upset her in anyway. She was slightly shocked when she saw the two exchange words, Freya even smiling at what Alex said. Lizzi breathed a sigh of relief. They seemed to be getting along so far. She let herself relax as her father walked her down the aisle toward Jack. After all these years he still gave Lizzi butterflies. She gratefully accepted her fiancé’s hands, giving them a tight squeeze as Rian ran through the ceremony, what he would say, where they would recite their vows, et cetera. “Okay, and after that I say ‘by the power vested in me by the state of Maryland, I now pronounce you man and wife. Jack, you may kiss your bride’.” Rian gestured to Lizzi and Jack, signaling for them to kiss. Lizzi slung her arms around Jack’s neck, standing on her tippy toes to give him a kiss. It was still so surreal to her that she and Jack were finally going to be married after being together for over sixteen years.

She still held fast to Jack’s hand when they pulled away from the kiss and headed back down the aisle, her heart beating out of her chest as if it was the actual thing and not just the rehearsal. “I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. Let’s go eat.” Lizzi spoke to her fiancé before looking back at her friends. Mercifully, everything was still going well.

Freya smiled slightly, nodding her head "Yea, that sound like Lizzi." She agreed. Her heart felt like it was pounding through her chest and out her ears, it took all of her focus to not stumble while walking with him. Thankfully it was a short aisle and it didnt take long for them to go their separate ways. She listened in as Rian ran though the ceremony, but as hard as she tried she couldnt help but let her mind wander towards Alex.

It had been a long time since she'd seen him and yet everytime she glanced his way, it was as if they were teenagers sneaking a peak in study hall. He was still the same old Alex - she had to remember that. He was still the man that broke her heart.... he was still a cheater... a child. Maybe he has changed... her mind wondered as she shook her head. No.. she couldnt think like that. What she and Alex had was toxic, not love.

The next thing she knew there was clapping around her and she noticed Jack and Lizzi kissing, she grinned watching the couple walk back down the aisle. It took seconds for her to realize she needed to come back together with Alex, and so she did. Her brain searched for words, something... anything she could say to him.

---

"I'm always down for free food!" Jack grinned, his smile fading when someone pointed out he was paying for dinner. "Oh right. Well, it's still food." He shrugged, leading everyone out towards their cars "Alright everyone, group up. We want to take as few cars to the restaurant as possible. Please try to fill the cars, we are all family here." He announced, moving towards Alex and Freya.

As he walked towards them, he helped their friends and family sort into all the different cars. It didnt take long for it to be just his groomsmen, both of their parents, and Freya. He finally made his way to the pair, who were separating from one another.

So far, it seemed as though everything was going okay. But he could tell the both of them were having trouble finding words for one another. "Hey man - were gonna ride were our parents, you mind giving a ride to some people? The restaurant we picked has a really small parking lot" he explained

Alex’s brain was screaming at him to say something, anything to Freya. She was finally close to him for the first time in almost a decade and a half and he’d spoken lest than ten words to her. Well, to be fair, all of the things Alex wanted to talk to Freya about wouldn’t exactly be appropriate to talk about in front of others. He didn’t know about Freya but Alex knew he was liable to cry at the drop of a hat. He was in the middle of this dilemma when Jack walked up to him, saying something about people carpooling because of the small restaurant parking lot. Alex quickly surveyed the people that were still left—Lizzi’s parents, Jack’s parents, Zack and his girlfriend, Rian… And Freya.

“Nah, I don’t mind… the batmobile is open to all. I have the Escalade so I can take whoever is left.” Alex joked. He looked over at Freya, his heart suddenly beating a million miles an hour when he realized that she might be riding in his car for the first time since high school.

--

Before Lizzi could even begin to protest what Jack was doing, he was off and talking to Alex, talking about carpooling. Lizzi would much rather Freya ride with her, Jack, and their parents—but she didn’t want to cause a fight the night of their rehearsal dinner. Freya and Alex were getting along, surprisingly, so a little of her worry was eased. She waited until Jack was back by her side and they were walking to the car before giving him a look.

“I was kinda hoping Frey would ride with us… hopefully Zack and Rian keep an eye on things.” Lizzi spoke quietly as she hopped into the passenger seat and buckled her seatbelt. She offered Jack her hand to hold while she talked to her mother about what time the makeup and hair people would be getting to her parents’ house the next morning. They were just wrapping up their conversation when the car rolled into the parking lot of Firenzi’s—the little Italian restaurant where Jack and Lizzi went on their first date.

--

"Relax Lizzi. I think this will be good to relieve some of the tension between them." Jack replied, his voice hushed. He held the door for their parents to climb into the backseat and then got into the drivers seat himself. Extending his hand out for his soon-to-be wife's, he pulled out of the parking lot. As they drove away, a glance in the rearview mirror showed Freya getting into the passenger seat of Alex's Escalade and he suddenly felt very nervous about the thing he had just done.

The drive was about 35 minutes from the venue, not the closest option but it was a special place for them. Dispite the distance, it felt like minutes had passed by the time they parked, the rest of the wedding party that departed prior to them waiting patiently by the doors. "I'll go check us in, you mind waiting for Alex's car?" He questioned before going inside to let the host know they had arrived.

---

Frey's eyes widened as she realized what Jack was asking of Alex. A quick survey showed that the only ones left were Zack, his girlfriend, Rian, and herself - their parents obviously riding with them. Her lips parted slightly as her eyes silently begged Jack to notice and offer her a seat in his own car. Unfortunately for her, he didn't- so she was stuck in the car was Alex for at least half an hour.

Biting her bottom lip she turned back towards Alex and cleared her throat before forcing the words out "So I guess that means I'm with you?" She smiled slightly, unsure of how to react. Rian and Zack walked up to them, and you could tell they knew the tension was thick.

"Freya, you still got that motion sickness thing that forces you to sit in the front seat?" Rian questioned, and Freya nodded. She was honestly shocked he had remembered that about her - most people dont think about it. She never understood why, but sitting in the back of a moving vehicle had always made her sick- the limo on Prom Night was expensive to get cleaned.