I Hate That I Need You

@ mitty xx felix

I sigh hearing Ryan calling my name again as he moves closer. "What Ryan?" I say crossing my arms against my chest. "You have been acting so goddamn weird all day. Not only that, you have been the same since you've been on your last tour." I say, feeling really hurt. "I know you're hiding something from me. I'm just scared to really figure what it is that you're hiding from me."

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"I am enjoying myself, I promise babe. But I'm enjoying spending my time with you." I say to her. I took a piece of her cotton candy and toss it into my mouth. "Trust me babe, I'm having a good time." I tell her truthfully.

@ Jay.B

"I'm not hiding anything." I lie to her again. I hate lying to her but she couldn't find out about anything. I hate that she hurting because of me. "I'm really sorry, baby." I say tucking some hair behind her ear.

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I hugged him tightly then pulled away to look around for another ride. "Babe, lets go ride that one." I pointed to the big one at the end of the walk way of the fair. I was smiling widely and I looked at him to see his reaction.

@ mitty xx felix

I sigh and look away, "Yes you are." I say looking back at the giraffes. The baby giraffe went back to its mother. I sigh once more. "I'm ready to go home." I say to him and headed in the direction of the parking lot.

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"Okay babe. Lead the way." I tell her with a smile as I let her take my hand. The ride looked intense, but I didnt mind going on the ride with her. "Just dont make fun of me." I joke playfully.

@ Jay.B

I sighed heavily and followed her anyways. I always fucking ruin things. I need to make it right. I need to show her I'm going to be there for her. "Sabrina, can we please talk?" I say reaching for her hand and holding it.

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"But I love making fun of you, baby." I giggle as I kiss him briefly and started walking towards the ride. I turn to look at him as he looked a little pale but still had a smile on his face. I love him so much. "I promise we will only do this then the ferris wheel. We can play games and eat junk food the rest of the time."

@ mitty xx felix

I sigh with slight annoyance, not wanting to talk but just go home. "Fine. Talk" I say pulling my hand back, crossing my arms.

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I chuckle. "I know you do, that's why I'm telling you not to." I joked. "We can go on more rides baby. Dont limit your hapiness." I tell her truthfully and lean down to kiss her.

@ Jay.B

I paused because I wasn't sure what to talk about. I know I was tired of apologizing to her. I pulled her over to the entrance way. I didn't want to leave just yet. "I have one more thing I want to show you." I say as I waited for her to make a move.

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"I'm not a huge ride fan, well those kind of rides anyways." I smile up at him and laughed. "I like playing games and eating the food the most." I say then started realizing I shouldn't eat all the food. I handed the cotton candy stick and said I didn't want anymore.

@ mitty xx felix

I didnt want to talk to him anymore. I was just about done. This was supposed to be for him to redeem himself after bailing our other dates for months. However, I let him lead me to the entrance. "I dont know Ryan. I'm tired of you making me feel insecure and stupid." I say, still feeling cautious.

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"Well you know I love food too. So I'm down to grub." I tell her but then frowned when she hands me her cotton candy that was held eaten. I know corron candy is her favorite treat, so I thought it was weird. "Baby?" I say softly but my voice filled with concern.

@ Jay.B

I told her to stand right there as I went into the gift shop and grabbed a stuff giraffe and paid for it. I hid so I could put the ring on the giraffe. I had purchase a post card and wrote Will You Marry Me on it. I smiled to myself and as it shined a little bit. I walked back put to her making sure the ring was secure with the giraffe. I didn't want to lose it. I handed her the bag and told her to look instead. "Baby, I'm sorry I've been acting weird."

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I shook my head and walked to the ride. "I'm just not feeling the best after eating some of it." I shrugged and waited in line but didn't stand close to him. I didn't look at him either. I knew I would break down. He will know right away what is wrong if we look at each other and I've been doing so good about loving my body and loving him loving my body. I just don't feel it right now.

@ mitty xx felix

I didnt look inside of the bag when he asked me too. "Buying me stuff is not going to make things right." I say sighing, trying push the gift bag back to him, but he kept insisting for me to open the gift. "Fine, but this will still not make things right." I say and opened the gift. I pulled out the plush giraffe and I gasped when I saw a ring.

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I know that look. She's feeling insecure about her body. Aleyah was never insecure about her body until her last boyfriend, Derrick. Fucking asshole destroyed the girl I've been in love with since we were kids. Aleyah's body is still perfect to me. Of course I didnt date her for her looks or body, I'm dating her because of her personality and because of who she is. Of course her beauty and sexy body were a bonus for me.

@ Jay.B

I had got down on one knee as I looked up at her. "You asked me what I was hiding...so here it is. I wanted to take you back to the giraffes and do this but I couldn't leave without at least trying. If you say no, I completely understand because I've been the worlds most shittiest boyfriend ever." I had grabbed her hand in mine as I looked at her. "I love you Sabrina. Will you make me the happiest shittiest boyfriend and marry me?"

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I stood there trying to hold everything in but I knew he waa staring. I knew he already knew what waa wrong. I hugged myself for a good ten minutes before i turn to face him then leaped into his arms for a huge hug. I let a huge sob out and I knew people were watching. I just needed his hug right now.

@ mitty xx felix

I felt tears roll down my cheeks. "You're not the shittiest boyfriend, but you're still an asshole sometimes." I say but then nodded, before letting out a sob. "Yes, yes I'll marry you." I tell him, letting him slide the ring on my finger.

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"It's okay baby" I say and rub her back. I had us step away from the line so that people to go on the ride, but so I could soothe Aleyah. "I love you, sweetheart. I will always love you, no matter what."

@ Jay.B

I place the ring on her finger then stood up, wrapping my arms around her as I kissed her deeply. Only then hearing people clapping for us. I pulled away for a moment then kissed her again. I picked her up and spun her around slowly. We pulled apart and I was smiling. "My wife to be."

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I kept my face buried in his chest and just held onto him for a few more moments. I pulled back still looking down. I looked horrible probably. I sniffed lightly then looked up at him, kissing him softly before he had to look at my face. "I love you, Chris."

@ mitty xx felix

I squeal when he picked me up and spun me around. But then I start laughing. When I heard the crowd cheering, my face became pink from blushing and I hid my face against Ryan's neck.

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"I love you too baby girl. Forever and always." I tell her and kiss her once more. "You still want to go on the ride?" I ask her.

@ Jay.B

"I love you baby." I say into her ear and held her close for a few more moments then pulled away and kissed her deeply again. "Lets go home." I say as I hand another surprise waiting back at home for her. I grabbed her hand as we walked back to the car.

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I look at the ride then back at Chris. "How about we go ride the ferris wheel instead?" I smile up at him as we pulled away from each other. I wiped my eyes probably looking like a mess. "Babe, how's my make up?" I asked laughing a little bit as I gave him a pouty face.

@ mitty xx felix

"I love you too, Ryan" I tell him, kissing him back. I felt him take my hand and lead us back to his car. "Thank you for taking us to the zoo. I really had a good time."

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"Sure bahe." I smile and kissed her forehead. I look at her. "It's a little smudged but I can fix that easily." I took the pad of my thumb and swiped it across from under her eyes to wipe away her smudged make up. "There you go. You still look beautiful."

@ Jay.B

"Of course, baby. I have another surprise waiting for you." I say as I opened the door for her and watched her climb in then went over to my side and got in. I leaned over and kissed her cheek quickly then buckled up. I smiled over at her and I could stop my heart from melting at how the biggest smile is on her face.

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"Thank you for always cheering me up and putting up with my insecurities. I love you so much, Chris." I say wrapping my arms around his waist as we walked to the ferris wheel. "You are the perfect boyfriend." I say looking up at him as we wait to get on the ride.

@ mitty xx felix

"Another surprise?" I ask, still feeling surprised from the whole engagement. I looked at my ring and smile. It was simple but still gorgeous and perfect. "Its beautiful Ryan." I say talking about the ring.

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"Babe, you dont need to thank me. I love you. I love everything about you, and it's my job to help you feel beautiful and proud of yourself." I tell her, kissing the side of her head. "Nah I'm not perfect, but it warms my heart that you think I am."

@ Jay.B

"Yeah, baby. I have another surprise waiting at your house." I smile really hoping she will love this surprise too. I look over at her as she looks at the ring on her finger when she tells me its beautiful. "Well you're beautiful, babe."

"You really are. Some guys would get so mad at how I ask about my body but you don't. You take care of me and show me how beautiful I am." I kiss him gently right before we climbed on the ride. I wrap my arms around his arm. I wasn't a big fan of heights.

@ mitty xx felix

I roll my eyes playfully at his cheesy compliment, but I smile anyways. "I love you, even with your cheesy compliments." I tell him and lean over to kiss his cheek. "I cant wait to show Ricky. I know he is going to be so excited for me."

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It was my turn to blush a little. I love how Aleyah thinks so highly of me. I always think that I'm not good enough for her and that I don't deserve her, but I'm so goddamb lucky to have her. "Those guys aren't real boyfriend material or even men. I would never get mad at you, because every time you think you look bad, I'm going keep showing and telling you that you always look beautiful."

@ Jay.B

I look over at her then started driving. I can't let that little comment get to me. They have been best friends for a long time and nothing has happened between them. I would glance over at her every once in awhile on the drive home and I don't think her smile had fell yet.

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"I love you!" I kiss him softly as the ride starts going. I hugged him a little tighter when we reached the top and stopped to let others on. I felt him kiss the top of my head. Then we started moving again and it was so beautiful.