Gay Couples Adopting

Personally, I think gays should absolutely be able to adopt. However, in a country like Portugal, that wouldn't be a good idea. This is a country where most people are extremely close minded, these children adopted by gays would suffer from discrimination and bullying. It's sad, but it's the reality.

@ Soy un Dorito!
So instead just let gay couples suffer discrimination? How does discriminating to prevent discrimination make sense?

@ dru seems insane.
It's always harder on kids.
I'm not saying it's a great thing, but it's the reality. A gay man is made fun of, but as an adult he can handle it. A child gets beat up at school and they don't even understand why. We should change mentalities before doing this.

@ Soy un Dorito!
I'm not from Portugal, but do you have studies? I know American studies were done which show children of lesbian and gay couples are not more likely to get bullied in school.

@ dru seems insane.
Gay adoption isn't legal here. Gay marriage was recently legalized but people have been trying to reverse the law. If they can't accept marriage, they won't accept adoption.

@ Soy un Dorito!
In American gay marriage isn't legalized and our studies still say there's not a greater chance of bullying. If your country legalized it, it seems like they must be ahead of us. I don't know why there would be more bullying . . .

@ dru seems insane.
Isn't it legal in some states?
The thing is, people here aren't open minded at all. Legalizing gay marriage was just a way to distract people from politicdl scandals and a lot of people here are trying very hard to make it illegal again. Bullying here isn't seen as an issue, people constantly look past it, including parents and teachers. Same with depression in childhood. The overall mentality here is so 1950, and forcing change into old overly religious people will only make them even angrier.

@ Soy un Dorito!
Ah. That explains why people wouldn't be more open-minded. However, I don't think that discrimination is a good way to help prevent discrimination.

@ dru seems insane.
I agree, but knowing how people are here, the kids and their adoptive gay parents would probably be bullied even by adults. I got scolded for holding a girl friend's hand, so yeah you can see the amount of prejudice that goes on in a country where the majority of the population is old and blindly religious.

@ Soy un Dorito!

The thing is that although gay adoption is often portrayed as an issue of a (usually male / male) couple adopting a child not related to either of them, it's more common for one partner to want to adopt children in the custody of the other whom they're already raising together - so it doesn't really make sense to say we're denying these children healthcare, legal protection in case one of their parents dies etc in order to shield them from discrimination.

@ Soy un Dorito!
That sort of stuff happens here as well. The studies still show that children are not more likely to be bullied. (It doesn't mean it won't happen, but they are not at great risks.) I had a waiter who gave me and my ex-fiance (female) shitty service because of our orientation, but it still doesn't mean my children would have a horrible life.

And kafka. makes some great points as well about the legality of taking care of your children, providing them healthcare, etc.

I really don't care who adopts who but I think a gay couple adopting from a Catholic agency is kind of asking for trouble. They've made is pretty clear that they are not okay with gay marriage so why go to the trouble of adopting from Catholics when you can go to another agency? I dunno. My views.

Surely two loving parents (gay or otherwise) are better than none?

The-Maine-Becky:

Surely two loving parents (gay or otherwise) are better than none?

There's evidence suggesting that two lesbian parents are actually better than a mother and father.

I completely believe that Gay Parent Adoption should be both legal, and that the restrictions on second parent adoption should be lifted.

If anyone's fit to be a parent, they should be able to adopt. However I think the biggest issue concerning gay couples adopting isn't within the adoption itself, rather than how society treats the child(ren), hence the argument that some people make against adoption (which I disagree with because we shouldn't be punishing the parents/child for the terrible individuals in our world). I believe that that more needs to be done about bullying (generally speaking since bullies will just throw whatever they know will hurt their victim the most) and creating a safer environment outside their home for these children.

I don't agree with using hypothetical bullying as a reason to prevent giving people rights. After all, historically we've made things legal years before society caught up to it. If we waited for society to be fully comfortable with social rights moving forward, then giving women or blacks the right to vote would have taken infinitely longer. There is always the potential where if you legalize something, it can get more traction, representation or even just through contact help improve the overall opinion of it. Seeing more gay couples being just what all parents can be, healthy and supportive, might help people be more accepting of couples. It's not exactly unheard of for someone to change their mind about a topic simply because they met a member or members of that group and realized they're human.

Also, on a more grouchy level? It's laughable to assume that kids won't get bullied just 'cause they don't have two mommies or two daddies. Let's be real, if it's a huge deal in that area, the kid doesn't actually have to talk much about their parents. I have heterosexual parents, and I still avoided talking about them almost constantly when I was a kid. You know what most kids focus on when it comes to bullying? The super obvious. Hair, teeth, skin, clothing, name, how they talk, etc. Here's an example. Who do you think is going to be bullied first and most? A kid with two fathers or the kid who has a mom and a dad, but is named Gaylord Silly or Steve Sharts?

I think that gay couples should be able to adopt, but my boyfriend doesn't. He argues that the child would get bullied and it's not fair. But I don't see it that way. The child most likely wouldn't be ashamed. I see his argument as if he's also suggesting that parents shouldn't let their children have mentally retarded siblings. Some kids do get bullied for that kind of stuff, but that does not mean that they're ashamed of their mentally handicapped sibling.

Also, I think that if more people saw other kids with gay parents, that the bullying would eventually stop or at least grow smaller. It's just so different right now, but I think once it becomes a norm to see gay couples with kids, then it won't be such an issue that kids will be bullied over.

cola frank.:

I think that gay couples should be able to adopt, but my boyfriend doesn't. He argues that the child would get bullied and it's not fair. But I don't see it that way. The child most likely wouldn't be ashamed. I see his argument as if he's also suggesting that parents shouldn't let their children have mentally retarded siblings. Some kids do get bullied for that kind of stuff, but that does not mean that they're ashamed of their mentally handicapped sibling.

Also, I think that if more people saw other kids with gay parents, that the bullying would eventually stop or at least grow smaller. It's just so different right now, but I think once it becomes a norm to see gay couples with kids, then it won't be such an issue that kids will be bullied over.

I think it's a lousy attitude towards bullying in general. Instead of trying to minimise possible bullying targets, why not try and, y'know, minimise the will to bully instead?

@ cola frank.
Studies have been done that show children of gay couples are no more likely to be bullies than children of straight parents.

Additionally, what the person above me said is right. Kids shouldn't be allowed to be bully.