Cyber Bullying & Online Harrasment

Anyone here ever been a victim of online harassment? This includes cellphones ect.

Should there be better laws in place to accommodate for websites such as myspace and Facebook?

For example, I'm not sure if you have the same laws in place in the US, but in Australia there are laws for cyber stalking. This includes text messages, Myspace, ect. I'm in court at the moment due to a long, long, long ordeal which was a mix of cyber stalking and regular harassment and slander and ended in a suicide attempt or two. I can give details but I won't unless anyone wants to HEAR them. But yeah, any other stories? I'm very interested in this topic.

I've been abused via email.

Year seven - 2004. We'd started high school, and my best friend from primary school decided to ditch me. I didn't know what was going on - but I was hurt. I just wanted my friend back.

Typical story, she wanted to join the popular group, I simply wasn't cool enough.

She sent me one email, saying why she'd been pissed off at me [which I guess were validate reasons for her, but obviously I didn't agree].

She then sent me a second email. Being younger and thinner-skinned, it hurt. She said things like 'If you couldn't be a horsey person when you were older, you could be a slut' 'You're so desperate' and then several 'fucks yous' to finish it off.

My parents saw the second one before I did. Being twelve at the time, I told them about what had been happening [but only in very, very little detail], and they happened to own the server my email at the time was on.

I asked if I could see the email, as they didn't want to show it to me as they thought it was pretty bad.

They took it to the school, we were both pulled out of class to be talked to. She then tried to shove the blame on someone else.

I haven't talked to that same girl ever since. Not once. And I got to a relatively small school of about 500 people.

Now I realise I'm better off without her. Ever since she's been suspended from the school for getting drunk on a school camp, and has been horrible to other people since.

If it happened to me now, I wouldn't be sad, I'd be pissed off. Insults don't get to me much anymore - but I get angry when people do it over the internet or phone. It might hurt more face to face, but at least then you know who's insulting you.

Just my horrible experience. And in my first term of high school, too.

I've been harassed several times online, but the worst happened when I was in sixth grade.

Someone at school (who I hated and they hated me) said they'd found my Xanga. I'd never had an Xanga. Every day, their group made fun of me and said it was mine. Judging by what they were saying, it 'said' I had a crush on them, but that was all I knew. They told other people about it, but refused to give me the link. It continued from November to about April. I was too shy and scared to say anything.
I finally forced them to give it to me. I went on the site and found, well, a site dedicated entirely to hatred of me. Someone was impersonating me and pretended I was a dumb slut. People left comments discussing how much they hated me and wanted to kill me. There were comments about how ugly, gross and weird I was. I made an account and got pretty pissed off at them. Then I had an argument with the one making the entries from April to about July. They haven't posted anything since.

I'm not really sure if we need more laws. We have all the laws we need. What really matters is talking to kids about it more, and make sure they understand what they should and should not do online. Myspace, Facebook, Xanga...because of the stupidity of some people, they frequently do more harm then good.

I've only been harassed once, I used to have an email penpal from America. We got on pretty okay, we liked the same things and talked about school. I told her about my Religious Studies class that I was taking and told her how we were learning about Hinduism, and how it sounded like a pretty cool religion (there were negative aspects of it too); then she asked me what my religion was. I pretty much told her that I didn't have a particular faith; considering that I was studying two at the time, I really didn't have or want to be in a particular faith. After saying that she wound up sending me loads of emails about how I was going to go to hell with the likes of Hitler ect, and that being a Christian is the only way to go to Heaven. I debated with her at first, but then I realised she was like a dog with a bone, so I wound up giving her one last email arguing my case and just blocking her from my email.

The thing about making more laws for the internet is that every country would have to impliment something to the same effect, to make people feel safer, and even then that won't stop groups being made about hating people, us average folk, celebrates ect, it would stay up for a time, then be taken down; the problem with MySpace, FaceBook, Xanga is that there is so many people on them already, to be able to find people who are doing the bullying would be like finding a needle in a haystack, unless the person reporting it gave the web address too.

Well, That's the thing. If myspace had more staff (moderators/ a harrassment department ect.) then all they'd have to do was find the ISP number (which they'd no doubt have access too.), every internet provider has it's own sequence of numbers at the start of the ISP, and from there the ISP can tell you everything about the person they're providing the internet to, including their name and address. The law has these things at disposal.

I know this because with my court case we had to get proof that the people who did it where actually the people who we said did. So we simply got our lawyer to get in contact with myspace, and although it took FOREVER (I think she had to call overseas at some point), we got the ISP numbers from every bad message and false profile I received. Turned out the kids who did it had mutiple accounts that where posing as me each, so luckily there where less people involved than I thought and we got the people that we wanted.

So it's possible, the only thing that's really in the way is law. Maybe countries should adopt some sort of 'International' internet policy where.... you know.... one big rule. Maybe copy Australia's cyber stalking laws?

I suppose I should tell you what happened. Basically it started up with my group of friends hating me because I'd started dating someone they didn't get along with. I live in a small town and our school has about 150 people, and for some reason I have never heard of a fight in my town that was face-to-face.

Anyway, The next day I sign into myspace and I have about 6 people bitching at me at once. I'm not worthing spitting on, I'm a slut, I'm dirty, I lie about everything, I should go kill myself, I'm a fucking emo, i should push down next time, I'm a dirty cocaine whore, stuff like that. This happens on MSN too. SO I break down and log off. At the time I'd just been diagnosed with bi polar (up until now I was just being treated for depression.) and the new meds had me all over the place anyway. They new this and made sure to mention that's why they where doing it.

The next week I get 4 text messages with notes attached. The last one was from someone (with a private number) letting me know that everyone in the school has received these messages, they're all really dirty and horrible jokes and rumours about me. I go to school the next day and ask someone I, or the group, have no affiliation with. They've received the message too.

A few weeks later I start getting phonecalls. By now I'd just given up on the internet because it was constant bombardment. These phonecalls where coming in from all over the country, and they're all people expecting a prostitute. I received about 20 and I finally asked someone how he got my number. Someone had set up a false myspace and adult match maker account with my name, address and phone number along with a picture of me.

Finally I go to school and the walls are plastered with posters of pictures of me with 'name responds to dog' and my home phone number on the bottom. I break down and just go home. There was no way I was going back there.

Well, my counselor had recommended after about a month of me not going to school that I change schools because there was no hope for the one I was attending. We call the school and make an appointment to sign my exit forms.

We get a knock on our door about three days later, it's the police. The princible has informed them that I've apparently posted things on the internet about shooting everyone at my school columbine style. They search my house for weapons. My name is put on the countries 'troubled children' list and I have to be checked up on by a psychologist every three weeks.

Well, I never posted stuff like that. Ever. It's another fake account.

We go into the school and tell her that I did NOT make that account. The principle launches into me and informs me she's known about this forever and that she's been asking around the students concerned. Her exact words are

"You deserved it."

They where also going to expel me if I hadn't already decided to leave.
Well, we leave and contact myspace, getting the ISP numbers. The fact the numbers didn't match where enough sufficiant proof and we sent it to the school. They issued a public apology in the newsletter, but we received nothing. The whole school, the staff and everything, thought I was going to go columbine.

So, I can't even walk to the shops now without getting called 'SLUT' or 'Dog', so we decided to sue. :)

^ That sounds absolutely horrific. Seriously, I'm lost for words.
:arms:

Ever since my experience I can't stand to talk to even my schoolfriends over MSN. They're my friends, I know, but I can't stand to hear them bitch about other people over the internet. They're generally nice people, and I know that it's in some girls' nature to bitch about other people behind their backs, but I want no part in it.

Instead, I want to be as far away from situations like this as possible.

Hence, I hate bitching in any form, whether it be in real life or over the internet. Because word travels around fast, and words are going to get twisted.

Oh, I forgot to mention - after the entire ordeal with the girl at my school in year seven, to explain her getting pulled out of class she told other people in my year that I was the one who sent her the emails.

That would explain her group's general dislike towards me, and it seems that some of them still haven't forgotten.

That is terrible.
How can people live with themselves?!
Honestly, that even pisses me off, and I have nothing to do with it.
I'm sorry that had to happen to you. :arms:

Aw, thanks. <3<3

I man, honestly, at least if they'd kept it face to face it all would have been over and done. They where all cowards because they never actually said anything TO me, but rather got others to do it.

I mean, girls bitch, we do it. But things like text messages and MSN have made it so much more vicious. There arn't enough limitations and there isn't enough education on the subject.

I am, though really glad to say that the new school I go to is an innercity one, so if you have a problem with someone you just punch them. It's much better.

I've never been harassed by text/email.
However, one of my "friends" (who turned out to be a total bitch to me) claimed she was being text bullied by my best friend to get him and me into trouble. I stood up for him, but she kicked me out of the group.
I'm pleased that I did. She went to the service provider to get him banned, claiming that he stole her other phone and send abusive messages to her. I was with him at the time he "sent those messages" and could testify he didn't. Plus it was from HER phone, not his.

Fuck Me Pumps:

Aw, thanks. <3<3

I man, honestly, at least if they'd kept it face to face it all would have been over and done. They where all cowards because they never actually said anything TO me, but rather got others to do it.

I mean, girls bitch, we do it. But things like text messages and MSN have made it so much more vicious. There arn't enough limitations and there isn't enough education on the subject.

I am, though really glad to say that the new school I go to is an innercity one, so if you have a problem with someone you just punch them. It's much better.

I would prefer that too.

I got to a co-ed private school. Most of the girls think they're superior, talented and beautiful [I know, it sounds cliche but I'm generalising] and it is incredibly bitchy.

I'm the more face-to-face opinionated girl who's always going to have something to say - and therefore, I prefer face-to-face insults. If they're going to insult me, I figure they should at least have the guts to say it to my face.

I wonder, though, if much can really be done about it.
Yes, we could get more moderators and stuff, but bullies are sneaky, and they will probably always find a way to terrorize their victims over the internet.
It's kind of like trying to stamp out bullying at school.
Pretty much impossible.

Suck My Innuendo.:

I wonder, though, if much can really be done about it.
Yes, we could get more moderators and stuff, but bullies are sneaky, and they will probably always find a way to terrorize their victims over the internet.
It's kind of like trying to stamp out bullying at school.
Pretty much impossible.

That doesn't mean we shouldn't try..
It's just like any social issue, you can't make it go away because you can't control the way people think or act. You can stop racism or sexism, but you can still try. And when you compare where we are now with issues like racism to where we were 100 years ago, we've made progress. Bullying is the same way. Humanity needs to constantly be perfected. As soon as we say it's impossible to do, we stop making progress and nothing changes.

Fighting on the internet is like competing in the special olympics, even if you win, you're still handicapped.

That's not an insult toward the mentally challenged. I mean, as well as the saying, that they can harass you until they're blue in the face and you commit suicide but they don't really win. Fighting on the Internet is possibly the weakest form of harassment known to man. If you can't say it to their face then you aren't any better. Just means they're a bunch of wimps.

Martian:

Fighting on the Internet is possibly the weakest form of harassment known to man.

What do you mean by weakest? I'm sure some victims of internet harassment would disagree with you there..

Kurtni:

Martian:

Fighting on the Internet is possibly the weakest form of harassment known to man.

What do you mean by weakest? I'm sure some victims of internet harassment would disagree with you there..

It's weak on their part. I know people who've been bullied, online and off.
They created block buttons for a reason, use them. There's report buttons for a reason. Use them. One of my friends was almost arrested and put in prison for online bullying. All the person did was print off exactly what they said as it was happening and brought it to the principal.

If the bully can't say it to your face, they're weak and obviously afraid of confrontation. Online harrasment is pathetic. If you're going to insult, fight, bully someone, at least do it to their face where they can retaliate much faster. It's easy to hide behind a computer, not so much when it's face to face. You don't have a bunch of pixels and bad typing to hide you. *shrug* I'm not saying online bullying isn't a problem, I'm saying bullies are just getting lazy and pathetic.

But it's also easier to hide from an online bully..i.e..block buttons.
I'm not saying all cases, but one of my friends could have ended all her problems if she'd have just blocked the bully and moved on with her life instead of arguing with her.

Martian:

It's weak on their part. I know people who've been bullied, online and off.
They created block buttons for a reason, use them. There's report buttons for a reason. Use them. One of my friends was almost arrested and put in prison for online bullying. All the person did was print off exactly what they said as it was happening and brought it to the principal.

But in alot of places, there is no punishment for cyber bullying. Look at the Megan Meier case, the woman who bullied her on myspace wasn't punished at all because she hadn't broken any laws. Some cyberbullies can be extremely persistant. You block them, they make new accounts or find new ways to harass you. I don't think it's weak on the victims part at all, it isn't their fault.

And trust me, not every site has a report button. Especially alot of sites that host forums that are used independently. Unless you're a site admin, you wouldn't have access to their IP code so you couldn't report them to their ISP on your own. It's more difficult than it should be to get help in alot of cases when you're being bullied.

I didn't ignore the rest of your post by the way, I just agree with what you said about bullies. :con:

Kurtni Reznor:

Martian:

It's weak on their part. I know people who've been bullied, online and off.
They created block buttons for a reason, use them. There's report buttons for a reason. Use them. One of my friends was almost arrested and put in prison for online bullying. All the person did was print off exactly what they said as it was happening and brought it to the principal.

But in alot of places, there is no punishment for cyber bullying. Look at the Megan Meier case, the woman who bullied her on myspace wasn't punished at all because she hadn't broken any laws. Some cyberbullies can be extremely persistant. You block them, they make new accounts or find new ways to harass you. I don't think it's weak on the victims part at all, it isn't their fault.

And trust me, not every site has a report button. Especially alot of sites that host forums that are used independently. Unless you're a site admin, you wouldn't have access to their IP code so you couldn't report them to their ISP on your own. It's more difficult than it should be to get help in alot of cases when you're being bullied.

I didn't ignore the rest of your post by the way, I just agree with what you said about bullies. :con:

I totally agree with you. I don't think it's weak on the victims part, it's weak for the bullies. I don't agree with bullying at all, but if you can't even say it to their face, you're kinda..lame...>.>
I think all sites should have a report button or have an automatic ISP log.

What really makes me mad, is the kids who ask to be bullied. Hear me out..
There's this kid who's constantly picked on, I've stood up for him. They started bullying him on facebook, I reported the group. The kid makes a facebook group, completely bashing the other town and their hockey team, another fight breaks out. He goes onto another facebook group and starts another fight about the same thing. So I told him he wonders why he has no friends, he gets made fun of and why people want him dead. At first, I thought these "bullies" were just a bunch of assholes, turns out the kid is doing it because he likes attention -_-

Block buttons sound like a great idea, but they arn't hard to get around. The number of times I've hit 'block' and had the same person come back with avengance.

Yeah. I'd write more but I'm hungover. I really wanted to make that point.

I've been bullied online.

I actually still have some of the conversations saved...

My mom's friend is like...a social worker or something, and she said if the girl does it again, then she can do something about it.

I honestly don't think it's worth getting all that shit done. Like, make it a big deal. Yeah, she bullied me for like 3 months or so, and still occasionally says stuff to me, but like, honestly, I hate making a big deal out of things.

I am lucky enough that I don't know anyone awful enough to wreck someone's life over the internet. However, I do know several people stupid enough to get their lives wrecked. I know everyone's heard of Orkut, and the place is like...evil. I made an account and some guy from Delhi asked me out...O_o. But yeah. There's cheap-ass guys on there saying rude things and stuff. Especially in India, some guys are realy horrible to girls. And Orkut...god. I never want to go there again.