Homosexuality (and Everything Else), page 107

burning. (100)

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I'm completely fine with everything stated above and in the title of the post. I don't understand how someone can be against something, when all it really is is one person loving another. Is there crime in that?

As for me, I haven't had experience with my gender to know if I truly am gay or not, but for now I'd like to think myself as bi-curious until I'm absolutely sure. I've definitely had crushes on males before, but then I've had crushes on females as well. I've never kissed a girl or done anything like that, but I'd like to. Whenever my mother or someone I'm close to in my family jokes about me not having a boyfriend and when I'm going to get one, I always make a point to say "or girlfriend" because I just don't know. Thankfully everyone I've ever said that to is open about it and not opposed to it at all.

September 6th, 2014 at 08:42pm

the_truth_hurts (100)

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Age:: 31
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Be who you are and be proud...

December 23rd, 2014 at 12:34pm

HazelRose (100)

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lisamargaret:
Her argument is that, okay, being a gay couple is one thing. But then eventually, they will get married, and maybe want to adopt kids. She thinks that a gay couple should not be allowed to adopt kids, because bringing a child up in that sort of situation is like brainwashing them into thinking homosexuality is right.

Well firstly homosexuality is right, just as heterosexuality is right, asexuality is right and every other sexuality is right. So, you know, they're going to be an open-minded kid which is kind of what the world needs right now.

Secondly your friend is being idiotic. No offense, I'm sure she's a fantastic person, but it comes across that she doesn't quite grasp that being gay or bi or whatever is not a choice. So therefore, it makes no difference if a kid grows up in a straight household or a gay one. If they are gay, they will still be gay if brought up by straight parents. If they're straight and brought up by gay parents they will still (shocker) be straight.

I am fiercely pro-LGBTQ+, not only because I am questioning my own sexuality, but because; whatever I think; I have no right to judge or discriminate other people for their sexuality. I certainly can't pretend it's an issue I have any say on, because, guess what? A person's sexuality is their own business, not mine

December 24th, 2014 at 05:57pm

HazelRose (100)

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@ soft skeletons.
I do the 'or girlfriend' too. Thankfully my parents are awesome so they picked up on it really quickly and started saying 'special friend'. I'm really grateful to have been born into such an open-minded family actually :)

December 24th, 2014 at 06:02pm

faster. (300)

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Maxwell Green.:
I wish I had the guts to tell anybody at all.
I can't.
I never knew it would be this hard.

I imagine it will get easier with time (though I don't know personally). I'd think that after the first few people, especially if the reaction's good, it'll get easier to tell other. Though this was 6 months ago and it's possible things have changed...

December 26th, 2014 at 12:38am

schrodinger's cat. (100)

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I don't know anymore, I've only ever been with men and people tell me that I can't know that I like girls unless I've been with one. Irritates me, I've kissed girls and whatever but just because I'm not currently with a women suddenly I'm not bi. And then I had a co-worker tell me that I'm greedy because I like both, like seriously!? I don't want to have a girl and a guy at the same time, I don't get why people even say that.

I'd like to tell my family but honestly what would be the point, I'm not with a girl so it apparently isn't valid.

December 31st, 2014 at 03:11pm

delirium. (1200)

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@ schrodinger's cat.
Some Het and people of the LGBT+ like to believe that bisexuality (and even pansexuality) doesn't exist. If you're with a man then you're straight, a woman, gay, and so on. And you either only like both because you're a whore, you're greedy, it's a phase, or you just don't know. It's very frustrating. That's why I just roll my eyes when other's try to tell me why I am what I am.

My family knows and accepts it, I can only hope that when/if you do, your's will behave the same.

December 31st, 2014 at 09:49pm

schrodinger's cat. (100)

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@ delirium.
Yeah I get that all the time. I told my mum but she didn't believe until I listed all the girls I had kissed and the situation, it's tiring so I don't bother my family is fairly old fashioned in this respect.

January 1st, 2015 at 12:34am

delirium. (1200)

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@ schrodinger's cat.
It's a shame you have to go through all that to prove that you aren't straight. Ah, the good old fashioned, ehe.

January 1st, 2015 at 04:22am

schrodinger's cat. (100)

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@ delirium.
t's a shame that anyone has to go through these things and it doesn't really bother me anymore. After graduating uni I've become more comfortable with who I am and it's my business not their's, I'll just do me and they can think what they like.

January 1st, 2015 at 10:41am

Synyster Vengance (100)

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Being gay is natural; it's found in every animal species, humans included. We are the only species to deny that it's naturally occurring.
There's nothing wrong with it, and if there is, then people who think so can kiss the south end of my backside; if me and my girlfriend want to have the suburban lifestyle, then we will. I don't see why treating homosexuality the same as heterosexuality is so foreign; they're both natural and common through out the animal kingdom.

January 15th, 2015 at 04:28am

starrystarryvin (100)

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Age:: 27
Location:: Finland

@ schrodinger's cat.
I feel your pain. I'm with a guy right now and apparently I am gay because of that.

Also, I find it funny that when a bisexual man is single, he's considered gay. However, when a bisexual woman is single, she is considered straight and gets told that "you're just looking for attention lol guys like it when you tell them that you're bi that's why you do it". What's up with that? Never have I ever heard anyone tell a bisexual man that he just "looking for attention".

February 21st, 2015 at 08:02am

kitsch (195)

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So, I said I was ace to an acquaintance and they started laughing then stopped and said "oh I know you're serious" (riiiiight) and it got weird after that. Not bringing it up again.

February 21st, 2015 at 11:57am

FuckNo (100)

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@ kitsch
Ace? Is that a term for asexuality? I'm not trying to be obnoxious, I just genuinely wasn't sure and I spent the last 30 seconds staring at it going, 'well, yeah, you seem cool, but what does this have to do with LBGTQIA+ issues?'

February 21st, 2015 at 04:55pm

kitsch (195)

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@ CallusedSilk
It is.

February 21st, 2015 at 05:21pm

lonely girl. (250)

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@ kitsch

Wow, that really sucks about they're reaction.

It's great that you have the courage to come out though.
Have you had a positive experience with anyone else? It may be because they're an acquaintance and not someone actually close to you.

Also, I've had a question floating around my mind for a while and I can't for the life of me find an answer.
How does transgender / gender fluid / other types of gender representation come under the banner of LGBTQ+? I thought that LGBTQ+ was strictly sexualities only and that gender had its own compartment or something. (Not the word I was looking for, but it somewhat fits.)

Along that train of thought, I don't really understand why people answer transgender, etc., when asked about sexuality because it doesn't really tell anything about people they're attracted to? I mean, you don't hear people going "oh, I'm cisgender" when asked for who they're attracted to. They say "I'm a lesbian, gay, pansexual, etc." I suppose it also fits in with people who identify as something that doesn't describe who they're attracted to (I recognise asexual and aromatic as completely justified answers though, because it's the lack of sexual / romantic attraction. I get that; it makes sense). It just seems that gender orientation =/= attraction orientation so I don't completely understand why people answer questions relating strictly to attraction with things strictly relating to gender.

I'm so sorry if I offended anyone, I'm just really confused and would love some answers to kind of straighten it out in my mind. I don't have a problem if you are trans* / genderfluid / whatever else you want to place here because my mind can't think of any other examples, and I understand that you may view it as a huge part of yourself and I'm totally okay with that. It's simply a matter of my mind trying to figure it all out and make sense of it all.

February 21st, 2015 at 10:38pm

kitsch (195)

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@ sheepcat;
I just thought it was disrespectful because they had asked me what was going on in my "love life" (or lack thereof). If they didn't really want to know, they made it clear after the outburst.

I've only told my best friend. I tested the waters with my parents by asking how they'd feel if I don't have kids. They really just said it's my decision.

I feel as if telling other people in my life will be awkward. My grandma thinks I'm a lesbian.

February 22nd, 2015 at 02:46am

FuckNo (100)

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@ kitsch
It sucks that the person reacted that way, so I'm sorry that person was a rude, rude person.

Although I will say that I think a lot of relatives end up thinking girls are lesbians if they've been single for a while/forever regardless of what their sexuality is. I'm not sure why it is, but even just like foreveralone straight girls end up with relatives that think they're lesbians. I'm part of that crew.

I mean, I'm not exaaaactly a member of the LBGQIA+ crowd (it's a complicated thing and I'm not exactly sure where I fall, because I don't identify as bi or pan exactly but I know I'm not 100% straight and it's all sorts of weirdness) but hopefully the more you and other people talk about asexuality, the easier it gets.

IDK, maybe all of this was just bullshit on my part. If it comes across as bullshit then just like, pat me on the head and send me to the corner or something.

February 22nd, 2015 at 05:36am

kitsch (195)

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@ CallusedSilk
What makes it 1000x worse is that the person in question is homosexual and where I live, a majority of people are religious. We were also talking about how difficult it is to come out because gossip spreads quickly.

It just doesn't make sense to me. But then again, she also thought my uncle was gay for the same reason---he didn't have any relationship for a long time. Now he's in one though.

I think it's interesting you don't identify as a member, but that's ultimately up to you. Do you think you are somewhere in a grey area that isn't totally bi or pan?

Sexuality is definitely complex and it's only been recently that I've tried to figure it out. Personally, I've always felt like an outsider when everyone was interested in dating or hooking up and the like. Then people tried to make me feel weird for not wanting to engage in such things. Ultimately, I really dread the day when people ask me when I'm going to get married and have kids because I just cannot imagine it happening and that's 100% fine with me.

February 22nd, 2015 at 05:55am

lonely girl. (250)

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@ kitsch
Honestly, that reaction is uncalled for.

It's a perfectly okay / justifiable answer, and it doesn't really matter if you don't have sexual feelings for another person. (Question: do you still have romance attraction? I know you fawn over other relationships / fictional pairings, but do you feel the romance aspect yourself?)

How did your best friend take it? It sounds like your parents won't care about you identifying as asexual over a sexually-leaning orientation -- they'll just accept you for who you are, unconditionally.

That's a great thing, and I hope they are supportive and don't scorn you and the like.

It'll only be as awkward as you make it seem. I'm sure it'll be fine, although I totally get you if its a thing you don't necessarily feel that everybody and their dog should know. I also understand your religious situation; but surely people would be more accepting of an asexual person than a homosexual / pansexual / you get the gist?

February 22nd, 2015 at 12:05pm