Homosexuality (and Everything Else)

@Weezespeaks

I've been met with the same ignorance. When I tell people I am biromantic demisexual, they tend to raise eyebrows and tell me there is no such thing.
When I try to explain it to them, they call me bi-curious, which makes me feel unheard and misunderstood.
Just because I've never been intimate with a girl beyond sharing a kiss and cuddle.

@ sassenach.
Oh god, my mom told me I was straight.

Same, I'm not really romantic. My girlfriend knows, and I'm starting to love her. But it's hard because...well it's confusing :/

@ ashlyn harris.

It can be very confusing and to have other people undermine your opinions on the matter, or tell you that what you are feeling is simply incorrect, which makes it even worse.

I understand that we all need to come to terms with our own sexuality and our romantic identity, but it would be nice to have other people not undermine our feelings, just for the sake of them being ignorant or misunderstanding of the situation. I wish more people would sit down and actually listen, instead of spouting their harmful words into the world.

@ sassenach.
I think part of the problem is that, especially growing up, everyone's kind of bombarded with their own shit. I know that definitely doesn't make it better, but, especially in America, we still get told basically from all sides at all times in media and politics and everyone around us that being straight and cis are what the default is. It's this idea that's reinforced a lot of times by a lot of sources so people have to actively push aside what they've been taught in order to acknowledge each other respectfully or even themselves.

It took me until basically this year in order to acknowledge that I'm pansexual and this was after years of having attraction (sexual and romantic) toward people regardless of gender and lying to myself about how that's not what it was.

Hell, even people that realize that multiple sexualities are good and there's no 'default' sexuality still have their own taught shit that they have to get over. I have coworkers that will say 'i support equal rights for gay people' but then if you actively ask them about nitty gritty details like even just shit as simple as 'they're saying this character might be gay' then you still get responses from them like 'oh that would ruin the character' or 'why does he have to be gay?'

There's clearly a disconnect in their minds and internalized homophobia that they don't even realize they still have and that's one of the biggest issues with the smaller shit like that. People have trouble seeing it in themselves and so they have zero clue sometimes that they're being offensive or being ignorant.

Hi, um, I'd like to put in that when I get bullied by male students in my school for my support of gay rights, I think to myself that the majority of these male students have seen lesbian adult movies, and how is it any different when it's two guys?

@ lonelyshadow616
From what I can tell, a lot of it is due to hypermasculinity and sexism, especially toward women. I know that seems a little backward, but people that are specifically homophobic toward men, in my experience, seem to view it as that in order to be gay, one or both of them men needs to be 'feminine'. This is looked down upon. It's especially an issue for the person who is being penetrated since a lot of these homophobic guys seem to think someone can be 'gayer' than another person in a relationship. So it's that they view gay men as not manly and not masculine and therefore worth less than a 'real' man. Not all of the homophobes I've met have had this viewpoint, but an overwhelming amount have.

Lesbians on the other hand are objectified and reduced to being seen as sex objects frequently, so the ones complaining about gay men but not complaining about lesbians are almost strictly only supportive of lesbians with that old homophobic joke of 'if both chicks are hot'. I've also noticed that women that are considered more masculine and less of the ideal in their minds also get bullied. That's when you'll see words like d*ke thrown around. It's why they support lesbian porn, but aren't usually the ones supporting gay rights. They don't actually see sapphic women as people.

@ CallusedSilk
That's a very good viewpoint. I'm just sick and tired of people hiding behind the Bible so they can hate a group of people and find a scapegoat for all the worlds problems.

@ lonelyshadow616
It does frequently devolve into a religion debate, sadly, and usually my go to response to that is that, in America in particular (since that's where all my experience is, but by no means is it the only part of this conversation), we don't base our laws on religion. We just don't. There are quite a few things that are banned in the Juedeo-Christian faith, but people who are against homosexuality partake in those things or have no problem with it. After all, pork, shellfish, working on Sunday, getting divorced, having sex before marriage and quite a few other things are legal. Beyond that, we specifically have separation of church and state.

They can feel and believe however they want to about their own private lives, but the law is a whole other issue entirely. Hell, even in the bible, it says to give unto Caesar what is due to Caesar. There were secular laws and biblical laws that were kept separate even in the bible. And at the end of the day, you can always remind the person that if they are a Christian or Jew or Muslim or whatever that at the end of the day, their beliefs are their beliefs. Their relationship with God/Jesus/Allah is their own. It's not their job in life to make sure someone else is holy enough. I personally am an atheist, but even if I was still Christian, I just have to remind those people that even if I was religious, my relationship with Jesus would be my own. That's my path. If I'm going to Hell for loving someone then that's my cross to bear. That's my shit. That's for me to sort through in life and in death. Not theirs.

@ CallusedSilk
I know, and I feel the same way. It feels good to find someone with similar views.

I can't wait until sexuality isn't an issue anymore. The argument is getting old and people just need to stay out of others business.

General terms. Not directed at anyone in particular.
oops revived.

cannibal.:

I can't wait until sexuality isn't an issue anymore. The argument is getting old and people just need to stay out of others business.

Same.

Sex, it is a key word in the term 'homosexual.' In my opinion, 'straight' or not, using another for physical gratification, hurts both people in the long run. Love on the other hand is of commitment and vow. Two men can love each other, as can two women, supporting each other, holding close to each other, as human spirits.

i'm nonbinary and pan so,,, huge supporter?? lmao gotta love those basic human rights