Write a letter to yourself...

Dear Abbie,
I guess you nineteen now. Wow this is really weird writing to you. Seems kind of stupid but anyway..
How's everything going, are you okay?
Did you stay in school, if so how high were your marks in leaving cert? Did you decide on college or taking a gap year? Which college are you attending?
Have you got anymore tattoo's or piercings?
Mastered the guitar yet?
What style are you wearing your hair now, get it dyed or cut?
Did you move in with him, or are you still at home?
Are you even still together, do you still love him?
Have you gone to their concert yet, do you still love them as much?
Are you happy and healthy?
Much love,
Past Abbie.

Jean Grey:

Dear future Kayleigh,

I know this is a long shot because one year isn't that long but have you got over your hatred for going out? Do you have more friends than before? Do you have friends? Did you get into sixth form and dear god, did you pass your GCSEs? I'm actually afraid for that answer. Are you still friends with Ray? Did you ever tell Marcie that you like her? I doubt it but hey it's a year.

The main question is are you happy? Have you finally got help for your depression? And did you actually talk to someone about being suicidal nearly all the time? Do you still get the urges to kill yourself? Are you still into MCR? If yes have you seen them again and are they as amazing as they were the first time? Did you finally see Blessed by a Burden? What about MSI?

Is your dad living back with you? How is your nephew and niece? Is your nephew still with his mother or did your mum get custody? Have you finally improved your self confidence? Do you at least like yourself or do you still hate yourself? Are you still a Mibbian? And I know this is a dumb question because if it's a yes then you'd be dead, but did you follow up with your summer plan?

I half hope that you do read this but then I also hope that you're not around to read this. I hate myself for writing this letter but hey, if you're there tell me whether you hate yourself for writing this one year ago. I'd really like to know.

From,
Past Kayleigh.

Wow, it's been well over a year and I haven't replied!

Dear past!Kayleigh,

I still don't go out nor do I even want to so there's the answer to that question. I have less friends than before because basically, it's just Ray who's my only actual friend. I passed the majority of my GCSEs and I'm in sixth form! Marcie went off to college so there was no point, really. Plus, I don't think I could ever admit that to someone because who'd want to be liked by me? Yeah, no one.

I'm still not happy, in fact it's kinda gotten a lot worse because I can barely stand living in this house. Everyone says that you have to love your mum, and I do try, but right now I can't. She just irritates me and annoys me, but maybe I'm like my brother and once I move out it'll get better. I'm hoping that by this time next year I'll be arranging to move out in September! I tried to talk to someone about being suicidal after March's incident but it was easier to just lie to them and say that there's nothing wrong with me, that I'm fine and only feel sad occasionally because my family didn't help a bit. They smothered me and mum tried to victimise herself for my actions and everything I do and it's driving me insane! In her mind, everything I do is either because of her or to get at her and I'm sick of it!

MCR broke up, Blessed By a Burden has sorta faded away but I saw MSI last October! They also introduced me to my favourite band Taking Hayley. Seen them twice already! Bon Jovi has become a big influence over me, shocking, right?!

Nephew is still with sister and has a little brother! My self confidence still doesn't exist and I hate myself with such a passion. Especially since the incident in March - she tried to kill herself again! This time I was with her and we were on the bridge and if I were tall enough to climb the barrier, we would have done it together but I wasn't. If time went back, I'd have found a way up and done it with her even though she's alive now, maybe it would have ended differently.

I'm still a Mibbian but a staff member now! Can you believe it?! Me!!!

Sorry to disappoint you pastself. I don't hate you for writing that letter, it's actually great to hear from 15 year old me. I'm turning 17 in a month so maybe then a lot of things will change. I'm going to write a letter to my future-self later all because of you, so thanks for that. I'm glad you felt shitty enough to write that letter on December 21, 2011 but why at 18:38? Normally you feel most shitty when it approaches 10pm but maybe that's a change I've gone through?

Love,
Future!Kayleigh.
{Replied on May 4th, 2013, 16:49}

dear ash,

hey there, what's up? how's life? right now it's good, you're a little detached from people, a little lonely, but pretty good. mostly happy. who are you hanging out with? currently it's mainly the central panto crowd - macris, sally, lois, emily - and the sea creatures - patremily, nick, hannah - claire left for melbourne - are you still slugging through the JD? you just got back your first essay, the mark was the class average, you were pretty disappointed but didn't let it get to you. how did January go? will you remember how you felt when you wrote this? are things better or, well, not 'worse' - more like nothing rather than something - did January go, what did you do? what music are you listening to? right now there's a lot of laura marling, coldplay, cole porter, florence, and the 'k: mix' mix. are you still on the four drugs, are you still seeing Halina and Hsu? are you riding your bike? are you taking photos? are you still finding new poetry, posting it? do you still follow angry feminists on tumblr? are you still an angry feminist? have you moved out? have you taken up new hobbies? do you still play the autoharp, or did you sell it? what's kira up to, do you know or care? did you give anything up for lent2014? did you put the weight back on, or lose more? did you get back into panto? do you visit your mother? do you still dream about flying? what do you dream about, what do you think about? have you gotten your life together, do you keep your clothes tidy, your desk clean? anyway, I hope things are well. I have a slightly gloomy feeling that very little will have changed, or will change, until you finish uni, get a job, rent/buy a place, etc.

-yawn- anyway, it's midnight. today was your g-mo's 75th birthday celebration. then you had dim sum for dinner and saw Iron Man III with family. it was a good day, you had a lot of feels and everyone said really nice things to you. anyway! see you next year.

love ash

LostinTime:

Dear Future Emily,

Before I let all the questions come rolling out, I'll just say this is your past self in 2012. It's 10 days away from your 17th birthday. It's been boring, but things are about to look up because you're getting to talk to your boyfriend in awhile. Oh, that's just today's happenings. In actuality it's a Saturday so one more day before school on Monday and you're just chilling. You're going to start back up with that college class soon, so yeah, getting ready for that load of fun. And your head is aching like mad (like it has been for the past 6 months or so).

Now on with all the questions!

-How are you doing first off? That's always important to ask first. I like asking that to everybody that I'm talking to because what you say is important, even if it is myself.

-This isn't a question; You're still dating Vikash. That's an absolute must because you are head over heels for that guy. Don't break my heart.

-You getting more serious about college? Because you had sure better be because really, I'm looking into that one college now and it seems like a pretty sweet deal besides not being able to have pets... not our (my?) kind of pets anyway. I am not a fish person.

-Did the headaches ever go away and did you get your wisdom teeth out? I've been hurting so bad and it's driving me crazy and you know how much of a hypochondriac I can be when something is wrong with me.

-What about health? Did you get healthier? Did you do that program thing Vikash wanted you to do? I hope you did because you promised.

-Oh, speaking of Vikash, do your parents know yet? I mean, even one of them even? Because ya know, you're going to have to tell them at some point and they might have found out and all of that fun stuff.

I think that's all for the questions and such. I hope that you've had a happy year and that you actually remember writing this!

With love,
Past Emily

Dear Past Self,

I know that you would like to hear tidings of good news, but unfortunately I have nothing of the sort to tell you that's great. You're definitely not talking to your boyfriend... you actually kind of broke up last night (it was your own doing after having tons upon tons of fights with him and you don't want to ruin his life anymore), so yeah. And uhm, if you thought one college class was bad, try taking on 3-4 of them (I say 3-4 because last semester you took 4 college classes and one ended so now you're to three), but you know, that's life. Oh and your head has stopped having those headaches but you've got one at the moment.

Anyway, onto your questions:

-To be honest, you're feeling shitty. No, really. So much shit has happened that you wouldn't even believe to be possible, but it did. Your life has completely changed the more I think about it. Look at you, you're about to start college for reals and everything and you're just so sick of this place and everyone and ugh. If only I could transfer my emotions to you right now would you understand.

-I have no idea what college you're talking about, but the answer is no. You decided to stay close to home, to your family's great pleasure. But there's a plus because your best friends might decide to go to college with you in a year or so. I'm excited for that much, it's just surviving these next few weeks without hurting ourself too bad.

-Yeah the headaches did kinda stop. I'm pretty sure they were from stressing yourself out and such, although I'm plenty stressed right now the pain has gone away a bit, and like I said, there's one going on right now, but no they're not constant as they used to be, thank goodness.

-No, no you did not.

-Nope.

And okay, it was nice talking to you. I'm sorry that all of this bad stuff has happened to you, I genuinely feel so depressed for your past self because I wouldn't wish any of these things on our worst enemy.

Love
Future Emily.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Dear me,

I know you are desperate, anxious, and disenchanted with your now and the future seems too far away, but I hope that when you read back to this some time from now, you'll be smiling, because all your struggles and all the sacrifices you've maid paid off.

Keep studying, keep learning, keep pushing forward. Do not settle for whatever because you've fought to get to where you are.

The money you pay for education right now will pay off eventually. I have hope. I really do, but sometimes the stress wears me down; I hope that when you read this you are nodding and proud of yourself.

Never give up, okay?

Questions I have for you:

Are you still writing?
How did the wedding go?!
How's the marriage life?
Do you have any new additions to the family? (Jabberwock might get lonely, you know? She obviously needs some siblings).
How's the anxiety going? Still going to therapy?
How are classes?
Did you get the fuck out of that job at the doctor's office? (Please, tell me you did, okay? PLEASE).
How are you paying for school now?

Don't forget to answer, okay? I know we forget everything, but this is important, woman.

Todo mi amor,

Aileen (23 yrs. old).

waits.:

Dear future me,

Well, a lot of things have changed in this past year. And I can't help but think that next year will be even different. So, here goes. Are you still in love with Ian? He should be in Oregon by now... please tell me that you're both still going to be there at the same time. Are you still a virgin? Did something happen? Or are you still planning on your first time being in a studio apartment with Bon Iver playing in the background and Ian's arms around you? How's the nursing program working out? You did switch and stay with it this time, right? Has your relationship with mom and dad gotten any better? How's Tom? And Sam? Did Em transfer? Are A and W still together? Or did you have to nurse them through that? One year 'til Portland, gal. You can do it. I know you can. I hope you and Ian are at least still friends. You two have made it through so much. So, so much. And you've always ended up better for knowing each other. Anyways, keep your head up, chickadee. You can do it. Go to Portland! Go, go, go!

Love,

Past Katie.

Hahaha, wow... well, it's been a year. More things have changed, dear. Yes, I'm still in love with Ian... unfortunately... it gets harder and harder every day. He's not gone yet. You're going to see him in July. All by yourself. Yes, I'm still a virgin. I do believe I'll stay that way forever. Unless something happens in July. Hahaha, I quit the nursing program after six weeks. We're back to history and loving it. Relationship with mom and dad is great, as usual. Tom and Sam both have girlfriends. It's driving me (us? you?) crazy. A and W are not together. W is going through a really tough time, but you're there for you. A year a half 'til Portland now, I'm having to stay another semester to catch up. And it may be Sweden or India. You and Ian are still friends. Talk every day. You still love him to death. But I'm not sure about our future. The depression is getting worse, as is the anxiety. I'm thinking about seeing a therapist. I wish I had as much faith in me now as you did then.

Dear future me,

Well, my dear, I sure hope you're doing better a year from now than you are now. Right now you're stressed, lonely, and overwhelmed. I want things to change for you in the next. I want to change things for you. I don't want to keep thinking I'm worthless. Or that the world would be better off without me in it. If that takes therapy, you go see a therapist. Don't let anyone shame you for it. On a lighter note, how is being 21 going for you? You better be enjoying it. Let me know what happens in July. I hope it goes as planned. Keep your chin up. Your man will come. You'll get married and have babies. And if you don't get married, march your ass to the sperm bank and have some babies. Don't let anyone stop you. Mom and Dad love you. Ian loves you, even if it's not the right kind of love. And someone will love you fiercely someday, if you can just pick yourself up and believe that it'll happen.

Be good,

Katie

the reverend.:

Dear future Sami,

You're currently almost eighteen, so you'll be almost nineteen by the time you get 'round to reading this again. That is if you actually remember to do so. Did you? I hope you did. I want to know how much your life has changed.

Are you still feeling how you currently do, so lost and alone or have you finally found yourself? Have you made it to California yet? If 'yes' did you visit Jimmy while you were there? If 'no' why the hell not? Are you any further on with a tattoo career? Do you still have the best friends that mean so much to you, or have they left your side as well? Can you believe that seventeen year old you is getting emotional writing this, simply because when you read this again you'll be a different person. You won't be the Sami I know right now, you'll be different in many ways. It kind of hurts thinking I'm slowly letting go of current you and becoming the you from the future. I'm curious... How did your exams go? Did you pass with all A's? I swear, if you didn't I'm going to be majorly frustrated with you. Have you found someone else to love you? To love you more than yourself ever could. I really hope you did. I hope it worked out if you found that person. Are you still a virgin? Do you still live at home with your mother? How is she? What about little M, almost two, can she walk and talk? What was her first word? How's W, is he better? Please tell me he's better. Do you have any tattoos yet? What about piercings, more of those, I assume? What about Avenged Sevenfold, do they still mean the world to you? I doubt any band could replace what they did for you, but who knows. Come back in a year and tell me all the things that happened.

From,
Past Sami.

Dear future future Sami,

You're currently almost twenty, jesus christ doesn't that sound scary? It's funny, this Sami did remember to reply back, I wonder if you will, too.

Well, you seem to be going up and down a lot right now. Kinda lost within yourself and work related business. You still haven't made it to California, but maybe by the next time you read this you will have. The tattoo career is going fantastic, your apprenticeship started in Jan 2013 and hopefully you're done by the next letter. You've currently tattooed your mum, sister, your friend and let's not forget yourself! that was one hell of an experience. One I'd rather not live through again, thanks very much. You better not make that happen, future future Sami. "You'll be a different person." oh, past Sami, you do make me chuckle... you are exactly the same besides the added tattoos. I wonder if you'll be different next time? I highly doubt it. The exams went to shit. Let's not discuss it. The answer to that is no, what about you future future Sami? Hahaha, yes. duh. I mean, what do you do besides work and twitter? you draw and spend everyday in the house crying over boybands. Yep, boybands... M is doing well as we speak, she's talking and even has full sentences, I'm sure now that she's almost three, she would have progressed even further. She's probably writing sentences rather than speaking them. Her first word was your name, can you believe it? that was an emotional day... And W... no. He never did get better...

You have tattoos. No more piercings just yet, maybe the next Sami will tell us if more have been added. Oh yeah, Avenged Sevenfold still mean everything to you right now, but who knows about the future! You're kinda pissed though, you have to admit, that their UK tour is no dates in your country. It's pretty shit. Hahah and guess what you little shit, you love One Direction. Yeah, One Direction. How the fuck it happened I'll never know, but you're buying tickets to see them next year, June 3. And future future Sami will have to be the one to tell us all about it! So, future future Sami, time to ask you some questions: How's the tattoo career this time around? Have you qualified yet and earning some money? Are you any different this year? How are your swag levels, any higher? I'm kidding. What kind of person asks that, oh yeah, almost 19 year old you. The goofy one. You know this stupid boyband has changed you a lot in a nice kinda way, I hope the concert went well, did it? Did you meet them? WHAT DID THEY SAY? And what about your first love, Avenged Sevenfold, did they come back to your country? I'm sure you've forgiven them by now... It's too difficult to be pissed at them for long. Actually as you type this you are smiling and looking at your picture of Brian and thinking that he's such a lovable doofus. Why you chose to look at Brian just now I don't know, but yeah whatever. You have work tomorrow and it's currently half one in the morning. Get to sleep.

Peace out,
Past Past Sami

Dear future Megan,

How are you feeling? I know it's hard for to wake up in the mornings now. Are you still mad at mom? Did she ever get jail time or was it waved? I really want to know if Jacoby is still in your life. He was big in mine. I hope you two still talk. I hope he comes back. Does he come back?

How is your relationship with Hunter? Did he finally leave the family or does he stay after graduation? I know I'm worried about him leaving the family. He's my younger brother, I love him. How is Daddy? I know his eyesight is going. What about the dogs or the cats, how are they?

Did you ever stalk to our old roommate? I heard she has a boyfriend now and is much happier without us.

The main thing I want to know is how are you doing? Did you get the dream job? Finish college? Find love? I know we have issues with anxiety, did you ever get over it? Who is in your life now?

I hope you are happy because we deserve it. I really wish we are away from the drama and the hate that surrounds us. Especially by our family. I hope you remember this and write back.

- Megan

May 21, 2013 at 10:11 PM

Dear Future Kara,

Hello, how are you? I'm not really positive what I should say right now . . . uh. There's really not much to say about my life right now, only that I am fourteen and I am a freshman in high school but it's ending soon. What grade are you in? Are you still in high school, or are you in college?

Well, Christina died last week. You know, your neighbor? Your friend since elementary school? The wake was on Thursday and the funeral was on yesterday (today is Saturday) and it was some of the worst days of your life. It was actually the worst week of your life. I miss Christina so much.

How are Mom and Dad? Are they still together? They fight a lot so I was just wondering. How's Brian? Is he okay at college? And the dog? Is she still alive?

More importantly, how are you? Are you sleeping? Has the anxiety stopped? Has Danny talked to you? Danny always says he misses me but I think if he did he would try and talked to me. Just a thought.

I hope you are doing well. Please remember to try and reply, please please.

Love,

Past Kara xxxx

Dear Future!Elise,

I'm not gonna lie, I've never done anything quite like this before, so forgive me if I happen to be a little rusty at this... but all feelings of "mehh" aside, how are you doing? I hope life is treating you well, as I want it to. I'll be twenty in a few months... my goodness, I'm almost an adult.

Either way, how's school been going? I know college is stressful, are your grades looking alright? I hope you're getting a decent amount of sleep as well; you're known to stay up until midnight.
How's the career with Vilas? You know, the band you started with Trevor? Please tell me it's still going strong; you've dreamed of this for so long that I'd hate to see it all go to waste. You're still into metal music too, right? It'd honestly be quite a shock if you weren't...
Is the love life looking up for you, too? I know guys haven't always looked your way, but has it changed somewhat throughout the year? You deserve to be happy, so I hope they aren't brushing you off and giving you the cold shoulder. You're still friends with Sean, right? Have you tried making a move of any kind to try something out?

I hope this reaches you and you write back to me. I'd love to hear from you when the time is right.

All my love,
~Past!Elise. xoxo

So.
I'm feeling kind of dorky.
Because I know you won't read this.
And if you are...
Then carry on reading.
CARRY O-O-O-O-ON!!
So.. You're feeling pretty down in the dumps. I know how it is, buddy.
Did you make new friends?
How's life?
How's the house?
How's university?
How's mum and dad?
Your sister?
Your brother?
Do still keep in touch with your old friends?
Do you still love fun.?
Have you been to a concert?
It gets better.
I promise.
So Carry On.
Because it's All Alright.
Love, your former self. :)

Dear Future Hina,

Howdy. This is gonna be really really awkward, but it's supposed to be this way, I guess.

Anyways, how are you? You're about to turn 23 in two weeks. While I'll be forever stuck at 22 in this letter. Heh, what can ya do, eh?

Have we changed and grew into a better person yet? DId we achieve anything of importance? I think the better question is, do you have a boyfriend yet? Or at least someone of interest?

Have you found yourself yet? Did you get to visit Japan, England, or Scotland? Or China? Did you get a job yet?

I have so many questions to ask, but so little ways of getting them out. Like I said, this letter is sounding awkward.

I know I've been through a lot this past year and had a lot of...dark thoughts, but looking back on this year and the year before, you've done pretty well. You've remained strong and have fought through all the troubles.

And don't worry about him. One day, you'll possibly meet him and ask him all those questions that have been plaguing your mind, but until then, keep on living.

-Hina

bashful:

Dear future Mia,

Are you still on Mibba or have you deserted it? I really hope you stay because right now you're in love with it. How are your sleeping patterns? Still messed up, staying up till 3am and whatnot? How about that novel of yours? Has Mrs C. got it published for you yet? Have you written that sequel you were planning?
I feel as if I'm asking you too many questions. I'm sorry; I - we, I suppose - have a tendency of doing that. Have you opened up any more in the year between here and there? How about C and R and the FMB? Has it become the SMB yet, or will you forever be a Jennie? Any progress made on the B situation? I guess not!
How are you enjoying History and Business? Did you get out of that BTEC course? I hope you did - try and do your Maths work more, too. Study! Most of all, take care, won't you?

Love,
past Mia.

Dear past Mia,

I'm still hanging in here! It's 1am currently so evidenly the sleeping hasn't improved any. The 'novel' hasn't gone anywhere, thank God, and the sequel was scrapped into a prequel which I finished a while ago and since haven't touched. I have opened up plenty, not only with C and R but everyone, and feel a whole lot better in myself, even if everything is stressful and I'm in a bad mood a lot of the time because of school and society in general. The FMB has been dissolved, sadly, but not really since it really was time. History is very stressful and disorganised and the BTEC course is finished so long as the work isn't lost again! I'm afraid the Maths thing didn't work out so well - supposed to be revising for a final Maths exam right now but obviously that isn't really happening.
This has been a really cool message to look back on. It's crazy to think how much has changed in just a year! Maybe I'll do this again some time in the near future and see if I'm still here in 2014.

Love,
future (or I guess current) Mia.

2011 | 2012
Dear 2012 self,
Ohhh this makes me kind of sad. You go through some stuff. A bunch of people die, actually. I think your cousins' dad is about to die. And oh my gosh no one even knows Jay's mom is sick yet. And I wish I could tell you to spend more time with Johnny at Thanksgiving. And there's other stuff too. Some surprising things happen. You're on psychopharmaceuticals now! So there's that. Um and I'm still scared of our adviser but agh I really need to set up a meeting with him, thanks for the reminder.

On a lighter note, I'm so glad you caught up on It's Always Sunny; I'm literally watching it RIGHT NOW~! And yes it's so good. Still. I don't know how they do that. Rob McElhenney and Kaitlin Olson are still together as far as I know. AND YEAH I SAW THE NEW AD. And I really liked it. Will Arnett was particularly amazing. Even though he is divorced from Amy Poehler. :'(

Okay check this out about brother: he moved out (though was still home so much OH mY GOD) in February and a week ago he got a job as a police officer in another state so he's moving like on Sunday. It's pretty bananas. It's good I guess, though I'm worried about him, but he's happy about it. So that's a good thing that happened. Other than that... Hmm. Well oh my god Iz finally broke up with the boyfriend finally. Everything is bananas basically I'm you wouldn't even believe it.

Um, I'm struggling to come up with a good thing that's happened to me personally or even a thing that's happened to me personally, really, because other than all the doctor business including starting to see Rachel (who is lovely), nothing really has changed. Things have sort of leveled out back to where they were a year ago which is actually good. It sounds like things were pretty good for you.

Oh uhhh I have a 3.8 GPA BOOM. So thanks for all the annoying shit you're going to have to do to ensure that.

Love always,
2013 self.

Dear 2014 self,
ehhhhhhh I am so terrified for you. The only thing more terrifying than the fact that you graduated is the possibility that you didn't graduate. Okay I think you probably graduated but that's still SO TERRIFYING. Obviously I really really hope you have a library job. Even part-time. Even a job at all. But if you don't it's okay. Really. I mean you know it's kind of a worst-case scenario but it's not the end of the world. There are worse things. (Oh god I really hope nothing worse has happened.)

Sooo what's happening now. Well, dropped Dad at the airport today. Two episodes of Breaking Bad left. Oh god only two. I hope they were good. Just started Flower Boy Next Door. Have you in anyway exhausted your hunger for K-Dramas? Probably not let's be honest.

I'm trying to think about what the next year will be like and am being sort of blinded by fear but one thing did occur to me which is: BABIES. I feel like there's a significant chance you're an aunt or will be very soon. Also I really really hope ESL student is pregnant or has recently had a baby. And also maybe has her green card! I hope you still get to see her. Sure I'm super awkward but like we love her she's so great ugh~.

Okay I'm going to just keep this short-ish because I could probably just talk to you forever about how scared I am. I just hope things are okay for you. They don't have to be good. Okay would be wonderful.

I love you. Hang in there.
2013 self.

The Real Mitt Romney:

Dear Elizabeth,

You should have killed yourself in 2007.

from past Elizabeth.

ROOD omg what crawled up your butt the day you wrote this gfd

second letter:

10/15/2013 07:05 PM on a Tuesday.

Dear Elizabeth,
By the time you're reading this you should be a senior. How are things going? How did junior year go? Did you pass all classes with at least an 85 like you hoped for? Have you made any friends? Lose any weight? Do you know what you want to major in? Right now I am thinking history. Not sure what I'm actually looking for, but I like history. Do you still feel the same way? How is Miri? Do you still live in the same house? Are you well? How has Buddhism gone? Did you visit the place in the city? Have you gotten your license yet? Do you still like kpop? Right now I'm really only for VIXX and B.A.P, has anything changed? What about Avenge Sevenfold? Do you even like them anymore?

How is life? The family? Do you still get along? And your friends? Who are they? Have you done anything you regretted since the day I've written this?

Do you still live by Hunter's words? Buy the ticket, take the ride? Do you?

Did you ever tell HER how you feel?

Are you still closeted about most things? Right now few know.

I hope things are fine.

- 16 year old Eliabeth at 7:15.

Dear future El,

I don't know what questions to ask you. Except now here they come:
Will you still be a Mibbian? Will you still be writing? Will you still talk to everyone you talk to now?
I'm getting goosebumps about this, writing it and imagining seventeen year old me coming back and responding.

Where are you in your head? Is it alright in there?
Will you be in supervised flex? Will you still be seeing the doctor? I hope your headaches and your chest pains go away. I hope everything that caused you grief goes away. Are you happy? Do you like yourself?

Where will you be going to college? Right now I'm thinking of just dashing the plan to go to the UK and just going to Australia. It's safer and warmer and closer and I know it better. I hope you've gone exploring the city like L used to and maybe even with L. At least, that's what I'm hoping. Let's see where we are in a year.

How is school? IB art? Are you still tight with your friends? Or did IBD take them away? Are you still into Man Overboard and Brand New and The Wonder Years and all of that yummy pop-punk and post-hardcore goodness? Lately I've been listening to more indie things and also dubstep, but ManO will always be my jam. I think.

Will you still be doing art or graphic design? What if it changes? What are you going to do?

Are the colour of your bedroom walls still yellow? Are you still living in Tomson? How many countries have you been to, now? You should have at least 20 pins on your map. I haven't put them on yet, but I will. How's that bulletin board going, or did you take it down?

How did your birthday go? How did your friends'? Where are Chay and Keith and Dawson and Ed? What about the rest of the boys? Do you miss them? (What about Sean and the other boys who have military?) What about Kate and Vivian and Keli and Jenny? Will you still be talking to them? I don't talk to Katie anymore and I'm still trying to keep in contact with Chay and Dawson but Dawson replies so slowly and Chay is always busy and I feel like I'm bothering him. Anyway. Where are Angella and Kris and Caro and everyone else going? What about the boys in your grade?

More importantly, are you okay with you? And what about me? What if I'm a huge embarrassment? That would actually be so mortifyingly hilarious, kind of like remembering us in middle school. How are things with you and mum, with Kelly, with Dad? Is Oli still there?

How tall are you? (Right now I am 5'4, apparently.) How are your grades? Do you care about them? Do you check your grades? Because you shouldn't give a flying fuck about them, except for maybe art and Spanish. And maybe whatever APs you're taking.

Have you been to any more concerts? Whom with?

Just try to be okay with yourself. Sit tight. Buckle up. Toughen up a bit — you don't want what happens when you talk about those things to happen all the time. I hope you're more confident with yourself than I am with me. I hope you're still on Mibba. You should try talking to Raff. And Jenna.

Just breathe. And remember you want to get tattoos, so plan them out, and carefully. and stop doing that thing where you're half in love all the time, because I swear it can't be healthy. Wow, this is long. I'm going to shut up now.

Much love and luck,
Past El
p.s. I hope you're not still saying ceebs.

Tuesday, October 29th, 2013 @ 9:23 PM

Dear future Sean,

Did you ace your MA dissertation? Have you decided to pursue your PhD? Where are you working? Where are you living and do you love it? Are you happy where you are, both location wise and at this point in your life? How's the BFI dream going? Any closer to the ultimate goal or have we changed our mind yet again, as we tend to do?

How're the boys? Who won, you or Ben? Go yell at Stuart. I'm sure he deserves it for something. How's the family? Grandma and Grandpa still kicking it? How long did Misha's beau last? Is Robert still married? Please don't tell me he has any more kids.

How's the Los Camp obsession? See them live again? Did they release a new album? How's the Morrissey love? Same deal? Did you get his book and absolutely die over it or was it truly disappointing? What's the new favourite artist this year?

Any new tattoos? What's your wardrobe currently look like? Did you keep growing your hair out? How long is it now? Currently, it's still about four inches above your collarbones and I just want it to be as long as it was before I donated it again. Still wearing Grandma G's watch every day? You fucking better be.

Who won the World Cup?! Was it Germany? Did they come top four again? Did Holger play? Did Mario get a call up? Did Arsenal win the league finally? What about Bayern? How did they do? Who's the current football crush? Where do we stand on the ever conflicting Marco feels? Right now, I hate him because he is looking so much like Jesse with that haircut.

Still board modding? Still writing should be the better question, seeing as how you don't manage that as much as you'd like any more. I hope it picks back up. How's Louise? Do you two still talk? If not, you should probably email her and make sure she hasn't died in an earthquake or volcano or other insane New Zealand natural disaster. And how's Anna? Have you two gotten drunk in Downtown Disney yet? Tell her you love her right now, okay?

The one thing I really want to ask is did you visit Leroy last month? Did you ever find Stolastyka's first husband? Did you go visit anyone's graves like you were wanting to do?

I know it's a lot of questions to throw at you, but I know you're always onto bigger and better things so I thought this would be a good way to keep track of the usual things. You forget that you're ambitious and impressive and do so much more than anyone will ever give you credit for so you need to remember that more often. You've got it in you to do everything you want despite what anyone (read your family) says. They're all just mad that you like your life while they hate theirs.

Currently, you're supposed to be writing your final essay for Formations of Film Studies, but you'd much rather be in St. Lucia not worrying about this shit. I'm thinking about writing my dissertation on the way the film industry in Britain changed under Thatcher and how that massive disruption in the way it was funded and all was reflected in what was on screen then. I don't know. I still have until next semester to sort that out. Let me know what I wound up doing and how much of a mental breakdown I had.

Looking forward to sobbing hysterically in the middle in the BFI library,
Past Sean

P.S. You're listening to Sexual Healing (Kygo remix) - Marvin Gaye. Thought you'd be interested in remembering that.

P.P.S. You're nearly 25 so I hope you've planned your Half-way to Fifty party by now or I'm going to be so unbelievably mad at you.

12th December 2013 at 7.00PM

Dear Stella,

Did you get closer to him?

Did you finish your PK and JT fanfic?

How is high school?

What did you ask for Christmas this year?

Did we end up going to Lake Placid?

P.S you're At Mary's house right now, going to cello soon.

louis tomlinson.:

Dear Future Kara,

Hello, how are you? I'm not really positive what I should say right now . . . uh. There's really not much to say about my life right now, only that I am fourteen and I am a freshman in high school but it's ending soon. What grade are you in? Are you still in high school, or are you in college?

Well, Christina died last week. You know, your neighbor? Your friend since elementary school? The wake was on Thursday and the funeral was on yesterday (today is Saturday) and it was some of the worst days of your life. It was actually the worst week of your life. I miss Christina so much.

How are Mom and Dad? Are they still together? They fight a lot so I was just wondering. How's Brian? Is he okay at college? And the dog? Is she still alive?

More importantly, how are you? Are you sleeping? Has the anxiety stopped? Has Danny talked to you? Danny always says he misses me but I think if he did he would try and talked to me. Just a thought.

I hope you are doing well. Please remember to try and reply, please please.

Love,

Past Kara xxxx

Oh, lovely girl, why were you under the impression I'd be in college by the time I replied?

Dear Future Kara,

Howdy, partner. How are you? You've just turned fifteen, and it was quite shit, sorry. It snowed like hell and Bails and Carolyn couldn't come have cake, and Brian wanted to go out but Mom wouldn't let him so they started to fight and then Mom and Dad started to fight and it turned into a big screaming match and you cried. So, it kinda ruined everything.

Anyways, how are you? You doing okay? Sleeping is still not an option most nights, but I don't get anxious much anymore. Just sad. Sometimes I think I should stay after and talk to Mr. Connor (not that idiot Ms. Unrad, she couldn't help me if she tried) but whenever I think I'm gonna do it he's either not at school or something comes up and I can't stay after.

Danny actually did talk to me the other day, at a party. We hung out the whole night, and he told me he missed me, and he wished me a happy birthday the other day. He said we should hang out over break, and I said yeah, we should. He's got a girlfriend though, the same one he had back in 8th grade. She's okay. Just a tad bitchy. I'm trying to sort out what he and I are, because sometimes he'll be all jokey and laughing like my best friend, and then other times it's very different, like when they play a slow song and he asks me to dance. But whatever.

School is shit as usual. 80% of the people suck, and Mr. Connor and Mrs. K are the only good teachers that I actually like. I'm shit at math and Civics is just stupid because she doesn't tell us anything and then expects us to know what we're doing. Science is ok. Mrs. Cline likes me, and says I'm one of the only sane people in the class. I agree.

I did some weed the other day with Bailey and Kyle and Carolyn. It made me feel good, so I did it again.

Carolyn and Bailey make me feel like I'm not drowning anymore, more like treading. It feels different than when I'm with Bridget and Amanda and Alex. It feels better.

Amanda and I are going to see Kings of Leon in February, Imagine Dragons in March, and Jess and I are going to see One Direction in August. I'm excited. Let me know how that goes.

One Direction continues to be the only reason why I decide to wake up in the morning. I'm kind of afraid of what will happen when they break up.

You're doing all right. Only 4 more days of school and then it's break and you're in the clear.

Love,

Past Kara xxxxxx