Write a letter to yourself...

Dear Juliet.

Wow. This year for 8th grade has been really freaking rough, I know. So, as of today, here are my questions for you:
Did you get into Central? Are you in ROTC and are you finally in shape? Did you get to do soccer or dance like you planned? Are those damn silly bandz still ~all the rage?

More importantly, what's the situation with Lauren? At this moment, she's alive and doing better and everything's still really awkward with her. That's all right though. How are you and Coco?

What about your GPA? This is the end of the school year, your freshman year. Did you get any awards if you made it in rotc?

Did you see Avenged Sevenfold, any other bands? Who'd you see?

Did you get a boyfriend? Do you still like Anton? Do you play a new instrument? What about guitar? Did you finish NaNoWriMo, and get your book's free copy?

Do you still talk to Joey? Do you bite your nails? How many times have you gotten acrylics now? Did you really not get anything for your birthday? I'm sorry if you didn't. Are you and TJ on better terms? I know things get really rough between us, but he's your brother and you've gotta love him.

Keep in mind that you're beautiful. You may have problems with eating and you may think you're fat, but you're not. If you keep exercising and keep on it, you'll be fine. And it is okay to indulge yourself every so often, just don't let it get the better of you.

Did you have fun being in classes with your brother, if you did get into Central? And if you didn't, did you have fun hanging out at Weeki Wachee with your friends? Are you a Hor(whore)net? Did you decide to go out for football after all?

Now, how are mom and dad?

I love you, Juliet. Secretly you love yourself and you'll always have someone else who does.

Love,
past Juliet.

I wrote one of these and it deleted itself. I'll try again. And again, since it just repeated that.

Dear future me. Or present me, as that's what you'll be when you read this.

Do you remember wrting this - did you remember it in time? Are you glad?

Did you get into medical school? Do you still want to go? Are you still afraid of it? Do you wish you were doing something else?

How was the gap year? Are you glad for the experience? Is home still overpowering? Do you have more freedom? Did you do anything worthwhile in your gap year, or just sit around (was it good even if you did just sit around?) Will medical school be worth it?

Are you still in touch with people? Do you cry on their shoulder when you're sad, or just hide? Are you talking to Sarah? Do you want to? Do me a favour and call her. She was the most important person in your life for eight years - you owe her that. Is she still with Michael? Did they have an explosive break up? Did Alex and Lesa get into Cambridge? Are they happy there?

Do you still volunteer? Is it worth it?

Are you lonely? Do you have friends (new or old)? If you are, I'm sorry. I'd say that it'll get better, but I know less than you do about that.

Are you dating anyone? Do you want to? Boys or girls? (are you a lesbian yet?) Have you dated anyone? Did it go better than with Rachel? God I hope it did.

Do you still throw up? Is it solved? Do people care? Does it hurt? Do you still worry about the little things - even if they weren't your fault, but you might've been able to help? I hope you don't. It hurts too much. Are you still nervous about people the first time you meet them (or the second time, or the third)?

What would you change about this year, if you could change one thing? Would you change something - or has it just made you who you are?

Thanks.

Eleanor.

Makayla,
Did you ever go and meet Dinosaur at the carnival?
Did he kiss you like you imaged it'd happen?
Are you together/still friends?

Are you failing your stupid CP classes?
How's ninth grade?
Are you still friends with that psychotic girl you call your Twin, though she isn't your twin at all?
Does she still have that stupid fantasy?
How’s the mafia going?
Halloween with Courtney?
What about the plans with the people and the basement?
And how’s the attic?
Puppy still working up there?
Making good money with it?

Do you still write like you breathe?
Have you finished something yet?
Gotten something published yet?

How’s Hamilton?
Still too loud?
Still not returning his half-brother’s feelings?
Stupid dogs.

Music.
Has your taste changed any?
Has the sister managed to get you into some of her music?
How did marching band go?
Fall over during a parade while carrying a bass drum?
If so, god, do I hope they recorded that, even if I won’t be thinking that at the moment.

Is the demon child finally gone?
How’s Kajin’s last year at Southern Fulton?
How’s the munchkin doing?

Do you still cry when you read The Perks of Being a Wallflower?

How bad did the play suck?

Do you still talk in a British accent when you feel like it?
Are you still trying to learn French by yourself?
What about Latin with Swopers?
How did Spanish class go?

Do you still eat Batman and Transformer gummies?

Are you still pretending?
Pretending that everything’s fine?
Pretending that you’re something other than you are, to everyone you’re too close too?

Makayla, yes, I know, life sucks majorly. I know times are rough and they’re probably ten times worse now, but, you know, someone always has it worse than you do. And I know, Dad’s an arse, a practically blind – metaphorically speaking – arse. And yeah, I know, Kajin’s off to college (is she and her girlfriend – Ashton – still together?) and you’re practically the eldest child in the house, but you’re probably still ignored, like the air everyone breathes. I know, sometimes you just want to say fuck it, and runaway or something, to someone that actually cares, but remember, someone always has it worse off than you.

Hopefully you've kept contact with Rachel and Sarah, or at least Rachel, she's the only one who really tries to keep in contact even if you/I live on the opposite side of the country as them. Just think, in a few more years, there'll be a road trip and you'll finally be able to see them.

Do you still wish that someone would come and take you away, away form your life here so you could start completely over and forget about it all?

Have you managed to send the munchkin to Australia for Ty? Or haven't you found a box yet or got enough money?

Have you gotten your septum pierced yet? Hopefully, and I hope you've managed to hide it from mom well enough.

Do you still wish that you could keep both your things and thoughts that you write/type down organized enough so it's not a jumped mess like this? Or have you surprised me and became organized?

Anyways, remember (and no, not that someone has it worse than you) but that I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them. Quotes from The Perks of Being a Wallflower of course.

Peace, kiddo.
Makayla.

Rachel,
How is college going? Are you keeping your grades up? Have you made a lot of friends? Have you forgotten your old ones?

How is your family doing? Is mom all right? Do you call her a lot? I'm sure she had it rough when you left.

Are you in shape yet? How is ROTC going for you? Do you like it?

Is it weird, being on your own? I know you're not totally alone, but you get my point.

Are you still into hockey? I guess you will be, but as much as I am now? Do you still read all of your Dragonlance and your manga, or did you give up on them when you went away?

Are you any more organized now? Are you eating better?

Laters,
Rachel

moxie;:

April 20th, 2010

Hey babe,

To start off with the questions first:

1. Can you now go to the mall without getting all panicky about seeing J?
2. Are you still "best friends" with Vicks?
3. Whatever happened to the trip to Ireland/Spain/whatever? How was it? Did you go?
4. Is your hair still red?
5. Did you cut your hair?
6. How's the face?
7. Hows the body?
8. Veva feeling?
9. Psychologically feeling better?
10. New friends?
11. How's Mia?
12. Do you still hang out with Josh, Damaso, Danny, Father, last year seniors in general?
13. Are you still in SJA? What happened with your grades?
14. Are you still writing?
15. Get any boyfriend? You know this question was coming up.
16. How's Oscar DC?
17. Today was a rough day. Today was the day we read the letters to my mom. How's everything now? Did you talk to her? What happened?
18. Is Nina okay still?
19. Mom?
20. Did you ever get to finally choose a college?
21. Dad?

-

Now for the actual letter.

Look future me. Right now, we don't have it all too well. Veva died. We read the letters. And we really need change. So please tell me we at least got that. Please.

Love,
Past you.

Just gotta add a few more questions.

Hey deary,

1. How're things with Josh? You probably remembered what happened, but if
you don't, he confessed, you said no, he didn't back down. Nor hasn't he. It's
really getting extremely annoying now. Are you still handling him after a bloody
year? If you are, I'm so sorry for you. But if he can't stop, then make him
stop. Whether you lose the friendship or not, fuck him. It's not your fault.

2. Are things with mom any better? how's she handling the fact that you're
leaving for college? Right now she's all jibba jabba over it.

3. How's Nina doing? Is she okay? How about Chente? Please, please tell me
they're okay. I know how Chente has been feeling lately and I would hate to
know that something bad happened to him.

4. Did you ever lose all the weight? Hahaha, baby, if you haven't you really gotta
start moving. You're leaving for college and you know what that means.

5. How's the face? Do I even have to tell you why I'm mentioning this?

6. How about school? Please tell me you aren't failing any classes YET AGAIN.
You know that is extremely pathetic on your senior year.

7. Are you going to that college? You know the one with a U a T and an EP?

8. Did you lose contact with any of the guys? Danny, Damaso, Father, Fima?
Fuck Josh. If you kept the relationship, good for you, but if you didn't it's his
fucking issue.

9. Did you ever get a new itouch? You know, one with more space.

10. Did dad ever accept the fact you want to go into Art Therapy? Hahaha how
about the fact that my grandma told him that I'm a "pot smoking lesbian"?

11. How's Vicky & Nick doing?

12. How's Ger doing? Shush. Don't judge. But you know that this was coming.

---

Dear Mox,

Look, it's getting harder and harder everyday to hold still. Today there's a
hurricane coming so I hope that everything went alright. Well, I should know by
tomorrow right? Please don't be doing anything stupid now. I know how things
can't get and it has never been easy for us. But you can do it. If you can't listen
to anyone else about this then listen to me at the very least. Through all the shit,
through all the pain, you've picked yourself up. You can do it, babe. I know you
better than anyone. And you can do it. I know it gets really hard to stay alive. But
the pain is worth it. It's worth living. And soon enough you'll be off to college
and everything will be okay. You won't have to deal with any more bullshit. It's
just gonna be you and you. So please hold on.



Love,
Moxie.

June, 29, 2010.

Dear Future Amanda,

First of all, has the world ended yet?

How's mom and dad? Jack? Are you still friends with Grant? What about Jessie and Derick? Kayla? Izek? Have any new friends?

How are you feeling? Hopefully better.

How's the cat and the dog? Did you ever get around to buying a pet snake?

I'd also like to know... how has the world for you changed at all? Are you still homeshooled? Has your addiction to mibba lessened at all since now? What about writing?

What about your religious views? Or maybe just views in general? Can you say you feel older? Do you miss the old you, your old life, or are you happy with who you are now?

What else has changed? Tell me all about it.

Love, Past Amanda

Hell, I could cry with how cute this whole idea is...Whoever came up with this idea is amazing xD My sister and I are going to write letters to ourselves for five years in the future...So fun...Anyways...Here goes...

The Warden's Wife:

(This looks fun =P)

Hey Anna,

Are you happy? No, not really V.V
Do you live with Nic yet? No, never came close.
If so and if not, how did it go down? He flunked college, is living with his parents again and doesn't have a job. Oh, and his parents never moved...That's how.
How many times have you met with Nic by now? Still only once, sadly.
Lost contact with anymore internet friends? Uhhmmm...Not that I can remember now, lol.
Still use the internet that much? Yep, sadly...
Do you have a cell phone yet? YAY! Something I can answer happily, YES! WE GOT A CELLL PPPPHHHOOOONNEEE!!! XD
Have you published a book yet? nope V.V
Have you even finished a book yet? xD No, and it's not damn funny, every freaking computer I work on freaking dies *Shoves old self* V.V
How is everything? Right now? Unsure...That's the word for everything. I'm sitting here talking to Nic's friend Angel (My friend too now.) And Nic's left me because he doesn't love me anymore (He did it like a week ago) And now I've got this new in person friend that I never imagined I'd have, an older guy. And I really like him, so he's my comfort. And I'm going to run off with Kelly at some point, but other than that...Life is totally unsure...

Right now, I am good. I'm sitting here talking to our best friend Kraven and Marc, trying to talk to Mikey, but he's not answering (Must be busy.) I am hoping Nic will call me tonight since I miss him a lot. I have a lot of questions for him, I hope to see him in person again soon. My dad just got a good job close by, so I'm thinking we might move there whenever we have the money; tell me how that goes. Ahh, I hate you for loving him so much, he left you, girl! That's right! Your fiance FREAKING LEFT YOU!!! You're all alone noooww, except a few friends and Randon, what the hell are you going to do? You never moved! You are still living in the same craphole you lived in last year! The job doesn't help any, nothings better V.V

Anyway, hope all is well with our plans with Nic! HaHAAA V.V
See you in a year!

Dear Future Rebecca,

Hey there. Uh, it is 1:23 A.M. and it's Saturday. Woo~ It's summer, so you know I've contracted insomnia. Oh, and The Downtown Fiction was playing, but it shuffled to A Bird A Sparrow. But, anyway, onto the questions.

How's everything with Chris? Did you ever find out if he liked you? He probably didn't, cuz he's wayyy out of, er, my league.

Did you ever go to New York during this present summer or at all?

How was sophomore year without Meghan? Wendy hates your guts, but it's okay, you don't need her. Made any new friends? Or none at all?

Have you at least finished your "Losing Rita" story? I know how, uh, you like to slack off and not write. But you atleast better finish that story. It has potential.

Did you pass the FCAT? Is it even still there? Has Math gotten easier for your pea-sized brain? Hehe~

Are you even still a memember on Mibba? You better be. Because I'll kick you right in the gut if you're not. Don't forget about this site, you hoe!

Alright, the most (in)famous question of all time, have you gotten that boyfriend you keep whining that you'll never ever get? I'll never know.

Are you out of Robert Morgan and going to that school that Meghan went to?

Speaking of which, are you still friends with Meghan? Do you still hang out with her?

Get that Learner's permit, byttheway. You NEED to drive.

Are those braces off by any chance? They better be, they're fucking torture.

Oh, and have you made any new guy-friends? Because you know how shy you get around them boys. Ha hah.

This took me like, 15 minutes to think up and then type down the questions. I hope everything's gonna be fine throughout this year. Don't do anything stupid, or anything that can kill you. You need to answer up all these questions. But I really do hope everything will be alright. I'll answer these on July 3rd of next summer. It'll be a whole year, just don't forget!

--Love, Past Rebecca. The short, raging teen hormones girl that doesn't even have the courage to talk to that guy at the beach. The one you nicknamed Yahtzi. Ha hah.

P.S. Did you ever get to meet Yahtzi, again? You better have. :}

Hello, future, 18 year old self.

I wonder if you're much different to me. You're developing more as a person right now. You adore Oscar Wilde, Sassoon, Frasier, vampires, and you try your best at physics. Yet the future is still hazy to you.
What did you choose to do at uni? Are you taking a gap year? How did the A2 exams go? Do you think you did okay in physics? How was the 15 hour art exam? I hope Miss Nelson has been okay to you.
Sorry for all the questions. These are just things I wonder when I think of the year ahead.

So, you're never going to see Bedford High School again... Sorry to remind you, but, it hurts as much as you thought it would, doesn't it? Saying goodbye to all those people... It hurts thinking about it now, and I'm a year safe from it. Do you still fear uni, by the way? Well, are you even going? I suppose you are. I hope you're going to do something you're passionate about.

I hope your 18th birthday was nice, and that you got to see your close friends this time. I'm guessing you didn't do much. You never do. Maybe that changed? On that subject, what's it like being an 'adult'? You don't feel like one, do you? Maybe you do. You don't always ramble this much, I know. Oh well.

Do you still dabble with poetry? I hope so. And, did you ever finish that story? You know, the one about William and David? If you haven't, I wish you would.

Did you ever finish reading the entirety of The Vampire Chronicles? You've been lazy with it this year. I hope you finish it sometime!

Have you still not seen Morrissey live yet? You're going to see Gary Numan very soon (but, I suppose you know how that went?). I hope you still like the music you like now. Which is largely Moz, Numan, HIM (though, you listen to them less now), PSB, etc. You've hit a big 80s obsession right now. Maybe you have a different obsession, or maybe the music I love right now really is my taste ageing itself.

I wonder, are you and her together again? If not, you're at least still close friends, right?
I hope you're still close to all of your current friends, actually. They're the best friends you've made in your life so far. Please keep in contact with them during summer, and in wherever you go next.

I hope that you are alright.
From, your 17 year old self.

touch the moon.:

Dear Ellen,

How's 2010 going? Have you completely messed up your life as expected, if you're even alive? That reminds me, did you die in September like that dream said you would? Or are you still alive and kicking?

Talking of kicking....do you still think Minus IQ kick ass? Are they famous yet? If not, why the hell not? Do they still talk to you, famous or not famous?

Are you sure of what you want to do now? Cause this past self has no clue.

Does Daddy still live in Tanah Merah or has he moved? Did you finally meet Annelise?

Do you finally have a boyfriend? ......No? Nah, I didn't expect you to!

One last thing. Have you finally found religion and had faith or have you lost belief? Or are you still unsure like now?

I really hope things work out for you Ellen. xx

You wrote this on Rob's birthday, I just realised. Anywayy...

Well. I got into Newport uni to do history but now we're having a few niggling doubts about it, but hey, yep, we're alive and kicking ;D

No to all of those xD For one, IQ broke up. Formed a band called Up, replacing Barnaby with Charlie. They're still lovely but not famous, and you don't talk to them anymore.

Still not got a clue, hence the niggling doubts

He's moved, you're in his new apartment right now It's small, but nice. You didn't meet Afiquah tho XD

No, but you had a girlfriend for a month :) Yeah, btw, you're bi It explains alot

Still unsure, but leaning towards the lack of belief. You definitely don't believe in the Church.

Dear Emmie,

How are things going? Did your exams go alright? Do you still keep to your beliefs? "It doesn't matter what grade you get, it's about effort, how much you love the subject and how musch passion you have for it". I hope you always remember that, don't be down over a stupid letter, yes, that letter may be your future but don't depend on it.

Did your parents go easy on you? Are you driving now? Do you have a job? Are you working for the BBC? Have they kicked you out yet? Take what ever they throw at you, bad or good, if you get hurt just remember that you're a better person. Even though you're not following the path that they want you to follow, don't give up - even if it means you being on your own. I know they've done quite a few unacceptable things to you lately, and it's had an affect on pretty much everything you do, don't hate them, please don't hate them. They're only trying to help you, even if it kills you to be happy.

Speaking of which, will you be happy? Things haven't been easy for you lately, your aunty, your relationship, being... yeah. They've been rough, it might not seem it to other people but you know yourself that the pressure you've had is far too much for you to take on. Are you and her together? I shouldn't say this but, I really hope that if you are, I hope you make her happy. You failed last time, sort of. You let your home life get to you far too much, even though you were trying to protect her, you made things much worse for you both. I hope that someday you realised what you lost, you know it right now but someday it'll hit you like a car with blinding lights. If you are together, I wish the best for both of you, and you better had look after her with all you can. I swear to God, you have to, Emma (or Emmie, whatever people call you at that time). If you love her as much as you do now, I have a feeling it'll be much stronger next time, if, if there is a next time. I hope there is...

If not, don't lose touch. Always be friends, you're close and you don't want to lose that. I know you feel quite lonely right now and you feel like you don't see your friends as often as you could, try approaching them, if they back down, try again. Don't give up, they love you - omg how vain. But they do, you know that, you've seen their affection.

I have to go to class, haha. Remember when you had to take Media Productions? How opinionated you felt? Keep it that way, don't fall for the crowd.

Stay safe, Emmie
xxxxx

Dear Sam,

Did Dean finally realize?
Have you been with any other guys?

Is Mom okay?
How's Sasa doing? I hope she hasn't passed away.

How're you doing with Dad? Are we on good terms?
Do still know that God's always with you, carrying you at your worst?

How is highschool? Is it what you though it'd be?
Is Madi okay? What about Mandi?

Are times still bad, or has it gotten better?
I'm wondering this, so I'm writing this letter?

Did you ever complete NaNo? Are you still writing a book?
It'll be hard not to read this, I might just take a look.

I didn't mean for it to rhyme, it just came out this way.
I'm sorry if it's cheesy, but I'm sure you'll be okay.

I know things are hard. Hang in there, you're not alone.

<3Sam

[/lame]

hey, natalie.

so, uh, how are you now? you'll be fourteen when you read this. was your fourteenth birthday party good? wow, you'll be older. are you still afraid of dying? i hope you're not or you'll end up like cassandra from doctor who. you do remember that, right? do you still watch doctor who? is the sixth series good? fez's are cool. what else.. do you still like harry potter, even though it might be over by then?
are you still as un-co as you were as me, the thirteen year old natalie? are you still the clumsy loud girl that can't do maths?

speaking of education, did you complete year eight? did you fail maths and english, and probably art? you should really concentrate more, you know. what did you choose for your year nine electives? i hope you chose music, art history and ancient history or something interesting like that. no pressure, though. how did the cooking elective go?

have you met a mibbian yet? tyarna -- you're seeing her at the paramore concert, aren't you? how did that go? did you meet hayley?! she's your idol. i hope you met her, i really do. and the ymas concert! did you get tickets in time? who did you go with? have you been to any other concerts, by the way?

are you with anybody now? i'm with oli right now but the time differences are so great that when we go back to school we won't ever be able to talk. it makes me sad to even think about, like i'm going to choke. did you drop the four letter word on her? how did she react? did you find a way to keep in contact when she went back to school? have you met her? wow, that would be rad. and did you ever tell that girl you liked her? again, no pressure.

popped your cherry yet? aha. have you told mum and paul about your sexuality? is mum still alive with all those cancer sticks she smokes? paul still high off his head? are you still living in yerrinbool or did you move up to sydney? or to queensland to live with phil? did you go on that exchange, or are about to? where did you end up going?

who do you hang out with now? still emma, natasha, sal, sean, steph, carissa etc? or do you hang out with cathleens group now? if you do, go back to emma. unless you fought or something. do you still even go to bowral or did you transfer to shcs or chevalier? whateverrr.

what music do you listen to now? i hope you didn't get sucked into the world of pop that much. as long as you listen to paramore and you me at six, i'm happy. do you still read manga? have you got a job yet? still vegetarian? how many piercings do you have now?! i have eight. i hope you have another helix at least. how many colours is your hair? did you dye it something other than your orange? still wear jeans, teeshirts and hoodies? still a lazy shit? aha, i'm joking.

i hope you haven't had to go to the therapist again, but you have those six sessions left you can have if something serious happens, okay? you're a beautiful person even if we don't think so.

thirteen year old natalie. x

Dear Luna,

How are you? Honestly?
I don't really know, actually. I could try to explain by typing up some 750words-esque mindspill, but no one wants to see that, nor do I want anyone to. I'm okay, I guess, although sometimes I feel like I'm not. But I'm working towards making things better.

What's it like to be in highschool now? Well, I know that it's technically summer vacation (or at least it should be), but I'm pretty sure you're officially a freshman. How did you like eight grade, now that I think of it?
Well, it doesn't feel very different. I still have to remind myself that I'm a highschooler now, but that's probably because it's still vacation. I didn't like eight grade at all for the most part, and I'm very, very glad to be leaving middle school behind. Then again, I'm not looking forward to going back to school either. I'm trying to hope that high school will be a much better experience, but being the pessimist that I am, I'm having some difficutly.

Did you lose any friends? Get any back? Make any new ones?
I haven't really lost any friends, although I've become less close with a few friends, and it seems that we don't talk as much anymore. I didn't get any back, although I'm accepting the fact that there's a lot of people that I doubt I'll ever get back. I did, however, make a new friend or two, and I've become closer with a few aquaintances.

Have you gone to a concert yet? If you did, who did you see?
Are you still into the same bands? Found any new ones?
Not yet, although I really wanted to see Muse when they came to Boston and New York back in March. But that never happened because there was no one to give me a ride. You can guess how I felt about that. But the good news is that they're coming back to America in the fall, and I'm going to see them in New Jersey next October!
I don't think I stopped liking any bands, although I have found a few new ones, like Florence and the Machine and Brand New. Or did you already know of Brand New when you wrote this? Either way, I listen to more of their songs now. But of course Muse is still my favorite.

Do you still have your third generation nano, or have you gotten a new iPod? Do you have a cellphone yet? You'd better. What kind is it?
I do still have my 3rd Generation Nano, and I actually don't want one of the newer iPods. The iTouch does sound nice, mostly for apps and internet access, but my nails are probably too long for it anyways and would scratch up the screen.
Rejoice, I do have a cellphone. I actually got it a bit over a month after you wrote this letter. It's a EnV3, which we named Louis. Yes, like the vampire.

Did you get over your "I'm not thin enough" thing? Do you still feel self concious when you go swimming?
No, I didn't get over it. Yes, I still feel self-concious when I go swimming.

Do you still like being called Luna?
Yeah, although I don't always go by it everywhere online, and when I introduce myself on Mibba I usually tell people that they can call me Luna or Jacquelyn, whichever they'd prefer (so far everyone's gone with Luna, which doesn't surprise me). As long as they're not calling me Jackie, I'm fine with it.

Did you peek at this letter before a year was up? You better not have missy!
Don't worry, I didn't. I'm actually two days late because I was away all weekend.

What is your writing like now? Have you had any good story ideas?
I honestly think that I've improved a lot. Obviously I've still got a lot to work on, but if you compare it to the older stuff I've written it's gotten much better. I've been writing OF, and most of my ideas are OF, but I've gotten a few fanfic ideas, mostly for Belldoms. I've been wanting to wright a Supernatural fic as well. That's right, you didn't watch Supernatural when I wrote this. Well, it's your favorite show now.

Did you need get braces because of that one tooth that wouldn't grow out?
It didn't grow out. You're going in for oral surgery soon, actually, because they've got to tie a chain to it and twist is so it will grow out. That sounds pleasant, doesn't it? But anyways, you know what that means.

What did you think of the new Muse album? Did Amy Lee finally release her solo album? Is Evanescence still together? Are all of the bands you like still toghether?
I love The Resistance, and I think that Exogenesis is amazing and way up there in the list of favorite Muse songs, even though it's technically three songs. MK Ultra was another favorite on the album, and Undisclosed Desires is sexy, to be blunt.

Does reading this letter feel a little strange?
A bit, but not much.

And do you think that you're the same person as you were when you wrote this letter?
I don't know if I'm a different person, but I've changed.

-Your self on July 11, 2009.
-Yourself on July 12, 2010.

Dear Vee;
Hows it going? Still a ginger midget? I sure hope so!

Get into sixth form? Do you still talk to the few decent people from school (claire,
georgia, meg, danny...) and are the bitch still being cunts? Have you kicked their heads in yet? I honestly wouldn't blame you.

Still hanging out with the Kendal lot? They're the best friends you've ever had, they respect you as a person so I really hope you are.

Still going out with Ewan/Got a new boyfriend? Or are you single again? Have you been wreckless with your kisses?

How is it going with Fluffyboy? two years? Or have you finally got together? Has he admitted to liking you?

What are your favourite things now?

Still talking to ALi? (I sure as fucking hell hope so!)

I don't know what else to ask really, so I'm just gonna give you a little message.

The previous year has been hell, getting kicked out of school, parents divorcing (ish) and the whole thing with fluffyboy, but I can say it's been the best year ever. You've made some amazing friends this year (Lez, AJ, Micky, Eddie, Zak, Johnny, Zoey, Jamie, John, Bench, Matt, Bailey, Zaphia, Scott, Joe, Josh, Maxwell...) and you've made your enemies, but what the hell. You've really branched out, some would say you became wreckless, but I'd say you've became alive.

I just hope 2010/2011 is even better than this year, but try and stay out of trouble.

Dear Cat,

I hope you have got the grades to get into university. I know you didn't try too hard on getting high grades in the first year at college. But I hope that the hard work you hopefully have put in this year will pay off. I know how much you want to do Archaeology.

I hope you plucked up the courage to talk to Jake. As I write this I am in heartache, I'm sure you'll remember. I am terrified of not seeing him in the summer holidays. But hopefully you will have done something about this. You only have a week, before the end of term. I hope you plucked up the courage.

Have you decided to help out washing the dishes yet? I know you hate it. But its not fair on mum. She needs to know you care enough to get past it.

I hope your brother has sorted himself out, got himself house instead of a hostel. I hope he has settled down, and even considered dating again. I hope you will be an auntie in the near future.

And to end, good luck at uni, achieve all your dreams, and don't let anything get in your way. It can only get better, if you try hard enough.

Love your year younger self.

July 12, 2010.

Dearest darlingest person from the future who is me:

So. This is a letter to myself, my future self, my one-year-ahead self. My older, wiser, more experienced self. I know I always regret the way I was last year, or the year before. I'm always so ashamed of who I am. I hope next year, I won't be so terribly upset with the way I am now. I probably will. I'll probably hate me, hide my face, never want to see me again.

In what ways have I changed since then?
Any different hair colors?
Did you get that nose piercing?
Am I happy?
What concerts have you been to?
Have you done any more traveling?
Any big events?
How was my birthday? Did I get a driver's license?
Am I even on Mibba anymore?

How's this writing thing going? How are you with NaNo? You better complete it this time.

Another year of dance. Another miserable year of being forced into doing something I don't want to do. The last year, definitely. Long day of shame at being the fucking worst in the class. Everyone is so much better than me, damn it. But by this time next year it'll all be over and I can breathe a sigh of relief.

Was it really as bad as I thought?
Have you lost/gained weight?
Are you healthier?

School. Art school. Have you talked to mom? Have you given it up? Have you pursued it? Are you sending in applications?

Family. How are things on that front? Fuckers. Do you still hate him? Of course you do. How can you forget? That burning, burning anger that drives you and makes you sick. If we didn't need him, I'd say punch him in the face and leave. Sometimes I can forget, but it's always there. In the back of my mind. I hope he knows the disgust in which I hold him. Probably not. He's 'changed', he's the good guy. Fuck that. He can jump in front of a goddamn train and I can watch and smile and applaud the death of another sick bastard.

How is Lu? Have you given her hope? Have you convinced her to try for something she would actually enjoy, instead of just going with what the parents want?

Relationship wise, how are things next year? What's happening there?

Just be the best you can be. In the end, it's all you can do, really.

Me.

Kate,

How did Warped go? I wonder what kinda of memories that question will bring up.
Did you get to meet Ryan Ross this time? Or did he hide like at the last TYV show? Oh, and did he signed your Alice In Wonderland???
How's Set It Off? Did they do anything special to repay you for the wasted day that you spent because their only New Jersey show was cancled? Yeah, I knew they wouldn't too.

Are you still writing poems more than stories?
.....Have you even finished a story yet?
Have you actually become friends with Dylan and Cody yet?
Oh! How was the sweet 16 business? Hm... Did Tarajee actually make you dance ._.

Most importanly...
Are you still talking to him? You obviously know who I'm talking about since I'm writing this and we are the same person. Is it still the same? If not... What happened? Was it worth it...?
Did you meet him? ...Yet? Is he still the voice you hear in your head... Is he still yours?

This is your mission, should you choose to accept it: Three goals.
1) Get new friends. Anywhere. Just get them. Don't limit yourself to deal with the people you can't stand because it's easier. Talk to people more. Stop isolating yourself because you're afraid of people.
2) Don't let yourself get distracted this year. You did good as a frosh, so keep it up. Stay off the damn computer when you get home from school, and study. Fuck reviewing.
3) Relax. Go do yoga, stop stressing over everything. You make it harder on yourself, so much more than necessary.

Hey Kate, don't let yourself down. Who could pick you up if you can't pick yourself up? Trust yourself. A lot more than you do now. Just let things happen... try to stop worrying. Just try. Yeah, that's it me.

Sincerly,
Kate.

P.S- One more goal. Don't give up on love. No matter what. Never, ever, give up on it. Keep it, as close as you can. Even if they're it's too far away to reach.

Dear Luna,

I decided to wright again for next year. Just because I liked doing it the first time, and maybe at this time next year you'll be interested in what it was like to be fourteen year old you. Maybe.

How was freshman year? Was it as bad as you thought it was going to be? Please tell me that it's at least better than Middle School was. Oh, how was it having exams in every subject this year? Did you do well?

How was the Muse concert? Have you been to any concerts since then? And what about the Rocky Horror show? How did your Columbia costume turn out? Did Ember go with you dressed up as Magenta?

I dare ask, do you have a boyfriend? I won't be surprised if you say no.

Am I still on Mibba? It's weird to imagine myself as not being here, but I guess that if I wasn't, you wouldn't ever read this letter. Actually, knowing me, I might come to the forums just to read some silly letter that I wrote myself a year ago.

How is the writing going? Did you finish NaNo again this year, if you even participated? And what about the drawing? And then there's cello, of course. I'm guessing you still play, but you never know.

Did you ever cut your nails, or even trim them a bit shorter? I know I can't bear to part with them now, despite that want I have to learn guitar. Maybe someday I'll want it bad enough.

Do you wear makeup?

What about friends? I know that I asked the same thing last year, but do you know who your true friends are? Or maybe you've even made some new ones? What about all of the friends that went to different schools, like Paige and Erin? Do you still talk to them?

Do you still sit outside when the summer day is ending and wait for the stars to come out, one by one?

I know that things haven't been great lately. Maybe it's better now, I don't know. But don't give up on yourself, or the people around you. Don't be afraid to talk to people. Try to pick up some self-confidence, and I know it's hard, but please try to stop repeating those negative messages to yourself over and over again. Keep fighting to get yourself where you want to be.

Sincerely,
Your past self.