Anorexia.

i am/was, anorexic. it came from my depression which was caused by verbal abuse (people called me fat, ugly etc. everyday still do).
It is a mental disease. you dont just wake up one day "oh, i want to be anorexic/ have an ED". you ease into it, it slowly sucks you in until you dont whats happened and your a skeleton.

ive been told it happens because of a "need for control" in ones life. I agree with that, food ends up being the only thing can control so you keep restricting, thinking you can be fully in control when you cant.

When I was about nine or so I was diagnosed with anorexia.

I had my innocent baby fat, while all the other girls in my dance class had bones sticking out in every direction. It was hard because in a dance your in a room full of mirrors.
I remember going home and crying every night. I refused to eat, and I ended up in the hospital with tubes in my arms and nose. It was then when my parent's took me out of dance.

I just recently started dance classes again, but sometimes I can't help but compare myself to the other girls, it's tough, but I've learned to love my body by eating healthy.

I was never anorexic but was pretty close when I was little. I would only eat dinner and never ate breakfast or lunch, I became sickly and was very, very, skinny. I weighed 45 pounds until maybe 3rd or 4th grade( I really wanted to stay a size 6x(I think that was the size) at that age it made me feel pretty), but I was short and my mother thought it was a fast metabolism. Sometimes I would go to school feeling so ill I would have to go to the office and eat something and the office thought my mother didn't feed me. One weekend I didn't eat anything; I liked that feeling of an empty stomach, that empty pang you get. I was so weak and sick doing that. I ate a piece of apple and ended up throwing up from just that little piece. That was right by Christmas too. I got better after that though. I ate alot more and actually grew for a change, became more healthy though I was still always sick. My mother never knew really what this was about she just thought I didn't eat breakfast. Now my mother never kept a scale in the house in fear we will become that way. Though a scale has nothing to do with it.

The Jr. high school I went to would make sure I would eat for some random reason(maybe it has to do with me not eating on some days). One of the janitors was watching me eat by sitting in front of me and asking me if I was going to eat that day, so I almost had a panic attack and had to leave to go home. I can't stand people watching me eat.
I really don't look that skinny to myself I can still see the fat around my hips etc, even though I am a size 3 and weigh about 115 pounds(no scale). I am way too self conscious you know? I am no where near fat but I consistently monitor what and how much I eat. I need to stop doing that.

One of my boyfriends made me feel worse about myself when he said,"I don't like really skinny girls. I like girls with a bit of meat on her bones like Melissa." And that made me want to fucking cry. I was a size 1 and 3 then too. I already have issues with my body because of my skin problems(I have three and they suck) and now that made it worse. Ever since then or maybe even before it I always felt like I was well chubby, not fat, but chubby. It came to the point where I would break down in tears in the dressing room and my mother would tell me to knock it off because other people have it worse.

Sorry about that being so long...I never really talked about that before.

I don't consider myself anorexic, but I think I have ED tendencies.

It's an awful disease, and what I hate is the taboo that comes with it. People who hear someone is anorexic, or think someone is too thin and say something stupid like 'eat a burger' or 'eat a cookie' and they can't comprehend just how difficult that is. It's not as simple as just eating, it's so much more difficult and complicated.

And it's almost as if people think it's a choice. It's not. It happens so gradually and subtly that you don't notice until it's too late.

I think it's like a lot of mental illnesses, where you can't really understand it until you've experienced it first hand.

Does it mean you are anorexic if you don't eat anything for up to 24 hours?

^ If you doit constantly, then yes.

but not eating a couple of meals for a day or two isn't.
it depends on your motives.

^ Yeah, it's like, if you don't eat for a while because you're not hungry, that's fine. If you don't eat because you want to lose weight, it's not fine.

Cardigan Boy.:

^ Yeah, it's like, if you don't eat for a while because you're not hungry, that's fine. If you don't eat because you want to lose weight, it's not fine.

If you don't eat for a while due to not being hungry, that's not great, either. I never used to be hungry ;-) (that was the story I was sticking to, anyway)

I was diagnosed with anorexia when I was younger and after a while, I didn't really care about losing weight... Like, at first, I thought about losing weight but, I dunno, I didn't know how much or whether I really wanted to, I just jumped in and started counting calories >_< (to be honest, I think an eating disorder had begun a few months before, though, when I hated going outside because everyone was prettier/thinner/better than me, and therefore judging, and became a miserable bastard winter '03. I have a few ideas what triggered it, but yeah... I had been engaging in unhealthy habits before, but I think making myself puke a few times a week was nothing compared to what it turned it and it was just... something I did. Tangent!)

I thought about six stone (even though I thought that would be too thin as I was kinda skinny at seven, but, I just, yeah... ), but when I got there, I didn't know how to maintain and other people had gotten involved and... I was just really scared to eat. I remember holding a Kit Kat and crying because I couldn't bring myself to eat it. I generally thought I wasn't fat, not always thin, but when I was purely 'anorexic', I never thought "oh my GODDD! *screaming and crying*"... that didn't happen until I started to gain weight (the first time 'round... :roll:)

But I just kept losing weight because I couldn't eat. I wanted to at times, but I... couldn't. I'd have nightmares about food. I'd, like, eat something but I couldn't taste it and oh my God, I'd wasted calories and and and... it sounds so lame now, but I'd wake up in a cold sweat, swearing that I couldn't eat for the next few days.

I got to a ridiculously low weight, looked like absolute shit, blah blah...

I was a completely different person. I was so quiet, so compliant, so... it really stripped me of my soul. The less I ate and the less I weighed, the less I was as a person (and now I'm using cliches 8)). I was totally obsessed with food more than weight. It was all I'd ever talk about, I'd get kicks out of walking around supermarkets for hours on end, I loved going to other people's (who stored food in their fridge, 'cause my parents don't :roll) houses and hanging around their food, surrounded by it, in the kitchen. I still love kitchens. However, it was difficult to touch certain edibles as the calories could possibly absorb through my skin which would have, of course, been disastrous. :file:

However, things soon changed... :roll:

But nowadays I'm the healthiest I've been in so long, so... I'm gonna pretend I'm all recovered and preach, because I feel like I can due to having an almost normal BMI and/or not smelling like vomit all the time. :)

I've done better in the past year, with nothing approaching medical help, than I ever did at an EDU. :mrgreen:
...

Anyway, I ranted on, so I was just thinking... when the word 'anorexia' comes to mind, what do you think? What's your stereotype of an anorexic? What's your gut instinct? Because, y'know, mine honestly is "eat a fucking sandwich", so... 8)

I don't know if this is all that relevent, but I find it quite interesting and I'm possibly on a rampage and...

toilet paper:

Cardigan Boy.:

^ Yeah, it's like, if you don't eat for a while because you're not hungry, that's fine. If you don't eat because you want to lose weight, it's not fine.

If you don't eat for a while due to not being hungry, that's not great, either.

What I said came out wrong. What I meant was, if you don't eat due to genuinely not being hungry, it's not anorexia.

My uncle used to call me fat and ugly, so it went from there...

I'm Anorexic. And im not proud to admit it , its ruined a good chunk of my life . I have zero self confidence , i suck in my stomach even though im a size 6 (american size ermm.. 1 i think ?). People who do not have an ED can't fully understand how it feels to feel fat everyday even though you look shit and are skin and bones.
I feel that i've been anorexic since i was born but it only came to the surface in my early teens. Although i HATE Anorexic with all my might i am compelled to go on Pro Ana websites daily , i only eat at dinner and i purged almost everyday for about 2 years.

It makes me cry when people say they wish all anorexics were dead because they're attention hungry fuckers.

I watched my best friend Kerri slowly become anorexic. She was one of those girl who maybe needed to lose a couple of pounds but she wasn't fat or anything. At first she just disliked eating but she still ate pretty normally. Just skipping breakfast and occasionally lunch. Then it gradually progressed to the stage where she didn't eat meals and ate biscuits and drank tea. Then it got worse as she lived off of water, hated brushing her teeth because the toothpaste in her mouth made her gag and she refused to eat the sweets we got her. She'd always skived off school and faked being ill so when she didn't come in for a week, I wasn't bothered. Eventually I said to her best mate, Tino, that she's not actually ill, she's just skiving again. But he got really protective and said that she was ill. Then I saw her and she was really skinny and frail. I knew something was wrong but I didn't know what. Then when I was alone on the bus one day I got a call from my mum. She asked me what was wrong with Kerri and I told her that I didn't know. Then she said that she was in hospital with anorexia. I was crushed. I knew that she was anorexic but I hadn't noticed.

AymeeZombie:

I'm Anorexic. And im not proud to admit it , its ruined a good chunk of my life . I have zero self confidence , i suck in my stomach even though im a size 6 (american size ermm.. 1 i think ?). People who do not have an ED can't fully understand how it feels to feel fat everyday even though you look shit and are skin and bones.
I feel that i've been anorexic since i was born but it only came to the surface in my early teens. Although i HATE Anorexic with all my might i am compelled to go on Pro Ana websites daily , i only eat at dinner and i purged almost everyday for about 2 years.

It makes me cry when people say they wish all anorexics were dead because they're attention hungry fuckers.

To be honest, if you hate anorexia... it doesn't sound like you're doing much to rid yourself of it.

Do I sound like a bitch? Probably.

I suppose you could say I hate anorexia (obviously not entirely, because I'm in a discussion on the subject, so...) It really helped screw up (or get me to where I am today) a lot of my life, and I'm dealing with a lot of consequences because of an eating disorder...

I'm doing something about it. Like, honestly... for the first time in my life - I really am.

I think with things like anorexia, you can say you hate it and blah blah blah, but you're, erm... still throwing up every day, you're still going on pro-ana sites, (I'm guessing) you still don't weigh enough.

Yeah.

I said I hated eating disorders for years, when I didn't because I never actually thought about it. I was entrenched in the act of it all, I had no reason to get out of it. I didn't think about ever recovering, I just pretended to toy with the idea every now and then.

It honestly sounds like you're deluding yourself, and maybe I am too... I've screwed up a lot in this past week, I keep thinking "if I lost half a stone... ", but I still try and force myself to think positively, I make sure I eat, I curb a lot of things I used to go out of my way to do.

I don't know your situation, but right now, I'm very pro-recovery (without the fluffiness. Maybe not even very. I don't know, I'm the nearest to normal I've been in a bloody long time 8))... but I guess truly wanting to get out of a trap set for yourself doesn't come until, for one reason or another, you have to. And mentally, environmentally, and whatever else - I have to.

If you truly hate anorexia and want to re-set your life, do it. You'll probably say it's impossible for you for one reason or another, but, y'know, that's up to you... to be brutally honest, right now, you're wasting your life. Maybe not entirely, and maybe going through this will make you stronger, but a huge chunk of your life is wasted on anorexia. I know it used to take up, literally, my every thought. Especially food. I was so ridiculously obsessed with food. Like, obviously I don't know you and how it effects you, but yeah...

And now I'm going to stop preaching because I'm probably irritating a lot of people right now and... yeah. :mrgreen:

Well; yes i do hate Anorexia , you must know how you can end up hating your own mind as you seem to have a personal exprience with an ED.
I probably should of included this in my last post but i forgot to so i'm writting it now because might of sounded like a contraction ..

However many people try to convince me otherwise I am weak minded and my personality is addictive, but my ED i recieve help and i have been for the last two years (i see a shrink once a week) and i admit im better than what i was lets say a year ago because although it might seem like i'm an idiot who doesn't seem to know what this disorder is doing i know in my heart i have made progression with Anorexia (in the positive way)

I didn't say how much i hate my anorexia to be a contradiction to the fact that i can't help but looking at a picture of Nicole Richie and wanting to look similar to her but not everyone can go "cold turkey" straight away

I would rather cut down gradually , i don't purge anymore and i don't own scales. But im not there yet, be thankful you are and of course i wish you the best.

I really do not think i have to justify myself because i know myself very well and i know how i cope.

Yet i suppose i probably should of worded that post differently maybe, included a lot more detail than just the little i did include.

And oh yes Toilet Paper , i don't think you came across a bitch in any way:)

I have Anorexia Nervosa.

My BMI(body mass index) is 16.21 and it's supposed to at least be in the 18's and even that is under weight. I feel like I eat loads and loads of food but I actually only eat a bite. I also am always thinking about my weight, even when I'm watching a movie or hanging out with friends.

My mom diagnosed me, she's a doctor. I developed it two summers ago. I thought I had finally gotten rid of it by the time school started again but, thats when I relapsed and it was really bad. I went back to only eating one meal a day or only 150 calories a day.

Now, I'm also back to always being sick. I've been sick for the past week and a half and I've taken all sorts of medicine. One upside to being fairly thin is that I rarely get my period or, I only have it for two days. I'm not saying thats a good thing though because, I'm really weak all the time and even weaker when I have it.

I know that there's more to Anorexia than just not eating. It's also caused by a "mental disorder(thats what my mother calls it)" that tricks you into thinking you eat so much or makes you keep thinking you need to be thinner.

I really think that people shouldn't be crude and mean to people that have Anorexia Nervosa. I mean, it's not entirely their fault because once you get pulled into a pattern of only eating once a day, it's fairly hard to break and for me it was quite painful as well. The worst is when you see pictures of Nicole Richie or girls in the locker room who are really thin and they get all of the boys and the attention and everyone loves them. It really gets you to start thinking, "I will never be skinny enough but I might as well become as thin as possible."

I just thought I should share my story, thoughts and my knowledge. :tehe:

Philophobic:

. One upside to being fairly thin is that I rarely get my period or, I only have it for two days. I'm not saying thats a good thing though because, I'm really weak all the time and even weaker when I have it.

Actually, the lack of periods associated with anorexia is really bad for your health... something to do with lack of oestrogen means that your bones can't harden, hence osteoporosis developing at a ridiculously young age in many anorexic females.

It's a stupid thing to fret over, but honestly - periods are brilliant if only because they stop your bones from crumbling aged 25.

Lots of people are at risk for osteoporosis, but when your periods stop, you are increasing the risk to quite a scary extent...
It generally becomes apparent in most women after the menopause.

But, yeah, no periods can make your life easier for a while... :file:

I was taught that the whole period thing reduced your chance of being able to become pregnant. But I think that's if you stop having it completely.

toilet paper:

It's a stupid thing to fret over, but honestly - periods are brilliant if only if they stop your bones from crumbling aged 25.

....

Lots of people are at risk for osteoporosis, but when your periods stop, you are increasing the risk to quite a scary extent..

omgno:

I thought my mom was lying just to get me to start eating proper meals...

Philophobic:

I have Anorexia Nervosa.

My BMI(body mass index) is 16.21 and it's supposed to at least be in the 18's and even that is under weight. I feel like I eat loads and loads of food but I actually only eat a bite. I also am always thinking about my weight, even when I'm watching a movie or hanging out with friends.

My mom diagnosed me, she's a doctor. I developed it two summers ago. I thought I had finally gotten rid of it by the time school started again but, thats when I relapsed and it was really bad. I went back to only eating one meal a day or only 150 calories a day.

Now, I'm also back to always being sick. I've been sick for the past week and a half and I've taken all sorts of medicine. One upside to being fairly thin is that I rarely get my period or, I only have it for two days. I'm not saying thats a good thing though because, I'm really weak all the time and even weaker when I have it.

I know that there's more to Anorexia than just not eating. It's also caused by a "mental disorder(thats what my mother calls it)" that tricks you into thinking you eat so much or makes you keep thinking you need to be thinner.

I really think that people shouldn't be crude and mean to people that have Anorexia Nervosa. I mean, it's not entirely their fault because once you get pulled into a pattern of only eating once a day, it's fairly hard to break and for me it was quite painful as well. The worst is when you see pictures of Nicole Richie or girls in the locker room who are really thin and they get all of the boys and the attention and everyone loves them. It really gets you to start thinking, "I will never be skinny enough but I might as well become as thin as possible."

I just thought I should share my story, thoughts and my knowledge. :tehe:

Just a note about BMI; what those BMI meters say shouldn't be taken seriously. According to the BMI calculator, Brad Pitt is overweight. haha.

Watoosh!:

Just a note about BMI; what those BMI meters say shouldn't be taken seriously. According to the BMI calculator, Brad Pitt is overweight. haha.

:lmfao

He might be "overweight" because he has a lot of muscle? Just a thought. :tehe: