"Coming Out" to Family About Sexuality

  • Syck

    Syck (200)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    29
    Location:
    United States
    Have you come out to your family (if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transsexual)? How did your family react? Did they accept your sexuality? Did they deny your sexuality? Do you think it is important to even come out to your family? Perhaps a sibling of yours came out, how did you react? Do you think it is morally wrong to not be straight? Or is it morally neutral?

    Discuss your opinions here about sexuality and your experiences with coming out to your family.

    _____________________________________________

    I came out to my parents about being bisexual a few months ago. My brother found out when he saw me with my girlfriend. Both my mother and brother are adamant Christians, and they are strongly against my sexuality but they don't harass me about it. My brother and I argue every once in a while about it, but nothing more than that. My father is more accepting of it, and tolerates my complaining when relationships don't go well, but for the most part my parents don't like it when I talk about relationships, so I try to keep it to a bare minimum.
    I've heard so many horror stories about others who came out of their families. One of my friends was kicked out of the house because she told her father she was a lesbian. She is now living with her grandmother.
    May 7th, 2008 at 03:17am
  • War-Worn Harlot

    War-Worn Harlot (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    28
    Location:
    United States
    how horrible. I believe parents shoudl be excepting of those kinds of things. Im straight (NO offense to anyone, and I am NOT homophobic. ) but if my son(s) daughter(s) or whom every came and told me about their sexuality, I would be completly accepting of it. They can live their life the way they choose.
    May 7th, 2008 at 03:20am
  • folie a dru.

    folie a dru. (1270)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    34
    Location:
    United States
    My mom knew I was gay before I did. My dad and stepmom still think I'm bi. He's cool with it, stepmom's not. Mom is completely and totally okay with it. So is my stepdad.

    It wasn't difficult to come out to my mom I had already told her I was bi, even though I was wrong. And she's okay with my giving up on girls as well.
    May 7th, 2008 at 03:50am
  • nelicquele

    nelicquele (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    32
    Location:
    Serbia
    my friend is gay, he came out and his parents threw him out. he thinks it was the best thing in his life because he moved in with his boyfriend. They're not together anymore but they are still in love with each other (long story short). i'm not gay, i just don't find girls attractive in sexual way, but if my kid was a homosexual, or bisexual i'd totally accept that, there's no reason why i shouldn't. maybe some people thinks it's not normal, but to me it's completely natural thing... love is love
    May 8th, 2008 at 09:26pm
  • devil's trap

    devil's trap (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    28
    Location:
    United States
    Coming out for me was awful. I came out several years ago as bisexual and I don't really care if people tell me I was "too young". The fire's still there and it always will be. I decided I was going to tell my mother and father eventually, when I understood more about it, myself. I told some of my friends earlier and 90% of them were cool with it. Most of the guys wanted me to make out with their girlfriends, too.
    :coffee:
    My mom and dad found out eventually after logging into my AIM and reading a few of my history logs. It was fucking insane. When I got home from school that day I got lectured on how it's a sin by my mom, and how it's really unappropriate to even think about that (sexuality and sex in general). My mom ended up telling me that if I ever became a lesbian that she'd disown me. I was crying in my room and she was trying to tell me how she still loved me, but she couldn't accept that and I just bitched her out. "Your God made me this way, so why can't you fucking love me? It's not my fault!" As if I had a choice in the matter. Sure I could ignore it, but I'd rather not lie to myself.

    It's been about two, almost three years since that day. My mom and dad have adjusted enough and I've learned to not give a damn.

    I'm just glad that it wasn't any worse than it was.
    May 9th, 2008 at 01:50am
  • the celestial teapot

    the celestial teapot (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    27
    Location:
    United States
    Tragic.:
    My mom and dad found out eventually after logging into my AIM and reading a few of my history logs. It was fucking insane. When I got home from school that day I got lectured on how it's a sin by my mom, and how it's really unappropriate to even think about that (sexuality and sex in general). My mom ended up telling me that if I ever became a lesbian that she'd disown me. I was crying in my room and she was trying to tell me how she still loved me, but she couldn't accept that and I just bitched her out. "Your God made me this way, so why can't you fucking love me? It's not my fault!" As if I had a choice in the matter. Sure I could ignore it, but I'd rather not lie to myself.
    Once my mom was going through my computer shit-as usual-and she came across my AIM logs. She read most of em and yelled at me for a longggg time. She didn't let me online for a long while after that, and everytime I'd laugh while on the computer she'd yell, "YOU'RE TALKING TO HER, ARENT YOU" -her being my girlfriend. I guess she either didn't want to face it or decided I'd grow out of it, cause she never mentioned it again. And she never told anybody. She kept a lot of secrets for me.
    May 12th, 2008 at 02:03am
  • tyler farr.

    tyler farr. (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    27
    Location:
    United States
    I actually haven't came out to my parents yet.
    But I think they know.
    How?
    No clue.
    My mom and my step dad both hate people who are bisexual or gay.
    My dad and my step mom don't really care.
    May 12th, 2008 at 02:39am
  • chrissie.

    chrissie. (250)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    28
    Location:
    Australia
    I'm not gay or anything, and as I'm only just 15, I'm still pretty confused, but my mum did sit me down late last year and give me the 'it's okay to be gay' talk, because my brother was saying it.
    My dad kinda hates gay people, so I think that if I did turn out to be anything like bi, he probably wouldn't be too happy.

    I know that when I'm older, I'm going to sit my kids down and talk to them about everything that's important when growing up, like boobs, periods, sexualities, etc, and hopefully they'll be okay about that. :XD
    May 12th, 2008 at 12:37pm
  • charming.

    charming. (135)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    30
    Location:
    Australia
    I came out about a year, year and a half ago :file:

    My mother's a lesbian, my dad's quite liberal (not the political party); I started off by saying "I think I'm bi" moved on to "I know I'm bi" and then dropped the liking boys part altogether. Dad initially treated it like a phase but he's fine now, he likes me telling him if I'm happy, in a relationship / single, likes meeting my girlfriends, gives me advice about stuff that makes me yell at him to stop :tehe: like what ball dress I should wear to appeal to the girls at my school, or the basics of safe lesbian sex. -laugh-
    It might sound perverted or whatever but mum doesn't talk to me about it at all, besides me rambling about whatever girl I'm crushing on.

    The only people in my family who really have a problem of any kind with it are my older brother, who's turning 19 next month, who's a bit of a homophobic asshole... and the older more conservative relatives like great aunt / grandmother / etc, who think it's a phase I'll grow out of ...
    to quote Aunt Prissy, "you're young, you've still got time to change :) "

    >_> :tehe: :cute:
    May 12th, 2008 at 05:08pm
  • JustGoFlyAKite

    JustGoFlyAKite (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    31
    Location:
    United States
    ehhhh .
    my parents absouletely hate gays, lesbians, transexuals, the stuff.
    Which means me.
    I am mistakened or a boy.
    All of the time.
    I prefer wearing guys clothes. I simply do.
    I don't wish I was a girl.
    That's all I have to say about me. I don't think I can sum this all up in one paragraph.
    I really can't.
    May 13th, 2008 at 02:41am
  • Devil May Cry

    Devil May Cry (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    28
    Location:
    United States
    My sister told my parents that she was bisexual, and they didn't believe her. They laughed. Whenever she calls a woman hot, they just smile.

    My mother is Catholic, and my father is Christian. They don't hate gay people; they just think that it's not "normal".

    I am openly pansexual to all of my internet friends, but I've never told any of the friends that I hang out with or my family. I think it should be obvious, though, because I run around the house, giggling about how Sonny Moore is "the hottest guy on the planet". I think my parents are just choosing not to believe. I don't plan on approaching them and saying it, though. My parents hate me, and I'm not such a big fan of them, either.
    May 13th, 2008 at 03:03am
  • Candy.Coated.Acid.

    Candy.Coated.Acid. (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    29
    Location:
    United States
    I told my mom that I was confused and she was all like "Well does that mean you want to have sex?" So I just told her to shut up and get outta me room. Cry She still doesn't know that I'm still confused. She also laughed at me....my consoler knows that I'm confused and says that at this young age it's normal....but is it really? I mean stuff happened to me when I was little that confused my "hard-drive" but still....It scares me sometimes....so I just say that I'm straight to clear up the confusion.
    May 13th, 2008 at 04:10am
  • Bells.

    Bells. (365)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    28
    Location:
    New Zealand
    While watching the Dr. Phil programme about parents hating their children because they are gay.

    Me: This is horrible. What would you do if I was gay?
    Mum: Try to have as little contact with you as possible.
    Me: Why?
    Mum: Because I think it's disgusting.

    My brother is a homophobe also.

    It sucks, considering that I'm bi. My mother has told me more than once "it's 'cool' to be gay these days. Don't you dare try it." or something like that.

    D:

    It has sent me into tears more than once, because knowing that I wouldn't have my family's support really crushes me. My friends know about it and I am afraid that sooner or later, my mother will find out. Hopefully, it will be sooner rather than later.

    I can't turn off my feelings, as much as I want to.
    May 14th, 2008 at 10:08am
  • Vonnegut.

    Vonnegut. (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    28
    Location:
    Puerto Rico
    Dasha:
    While watching the Dr. Phil programme about parents hating their children because they are gay.

    Me: This is horrible. What would you do if I was gay?
    Mum: Try to have as little contact with you as possible.
    Me: Why?
    Mum: Because I think it's disgusting.

    My brother is a homophobe also.

    It sucks, considering that I'm bi. My mother has told me more than once "it's 'cool' to be gay these days. Don't you dare try it." or something like that.

    D:

    It has sent me into tears more than once, because knowing that I wouldn't have my family's support really crushes me. My friends know about it and I am afraid that sooner or later, my mother will find out. Hopefully, it will be sooner rather than later.

    I can't turn off my feelings, as much as I want to.
    That's terrible ... I am so sorry.

    I haven't told my parents. I'm still confused about my sexuality, so, meanwhile, I'll keep it to myself.
    My parents are very accepting, especially my mom, she loves gays.
    May 14th, 2008 at 06:19pm
  • avalon.

    avalon. (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    26
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    I'm bi (you can say that I'm too young but I have feelings for girlies as well as boys. I can't help it) and I'm not ever planning on telling my parents unless I get into a really serious relationship when I'm older.

    My mum probably wouldn't mind. She is always saying to me "I wish you were a lesbian. Men are idiots". I won't talk to her about things like that though. I never tell her when I have a boyfriend/girlfriend. But my "dad" is homophobic. Very homophobic. I don't know what I'd say to him. My stepdad would probably be okayish with it. So would my "dad"'s girlfriend. But my "dad" would flip.

    You may have noticed I say "dad". He adopted me when I was younger. I've always known he wasn't my biological dad. But I grew up calling him my dad. But he pissed me off today coz he doesn't care about me so I'm calling him "dad". His opinion isn't needed.
    May 14th, 2008 at 08:27pm
  • mcrgdjunkie

    mcrgdjunkie (255)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    22
    Location:
    United States
    I figured out that I was bi last year, when my best friend and I made out in front of this guy we knew, she also was my first kiss. Haha. Anyways, we made out a few times and everytime we did I found myself getting rather....well.....wet?

    I still find guys attractive, but I also find chicks attractive too. My best friend is straight though if someone dared us to make out it wouldn't be problem for her or for me.

    I haven't told my parents yet, and I'm scared shitless to. Both of them are Christians, and I consider myself one too, but I have a feeling that I might have just lost my golden ticket to heaven. My dad says that every gay/lesbian that he has worked with or known, he hasn't liked as a person, he says it's their perosnality or something.

    I asked my mom one day if she would disown me if I said I was a lesbian or something, and she said no. I felt kind of better about that, but I'm thinking about coming out when I turn eighteen. I just feel like that would be the appropraite time to tell them.

    I was never comfortable about talking to either of my parents of about sex or boys, and I try to stay as far away from that subject as possible. Telling my parents I think is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done yet.
    May 15th, 2008 at 11:43am
  • the footloose doll.

    the footloose doll. (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    89
    Location:
    Australia
    I haven't decided whether I would want to come out to my family that I'm lesbian.
    All of my family are christian, and my parents hold very traditional beliefs.
    I'm scared as hell to know what might happen if they found out.

    I'm turning eighteen next month, and hopefully moving out early next year.
    I'm going to wait to then to see how I feel about letting any of them know, I haven't even told my best friend.

    But I know if I ever do come out to my family, it's going to be scary as shit.
    May 18th, 2008 at 04:22am
  • sketch.

    sketch. (355)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    28
    Location:
    Great Britain (UK)
    I haven't come out to my parents. I don't feel like i've come out to myself. As far as all my friends are concerned i'm bi, and i have a girlfriend, so...yeah.

    I don't want to come out to my parents becuase a) they'd immeditely think it was a phase, i think. and b) my mum was actually talking about how "annoying" bi people are. she said they were "greedy" and should make their minds up.

    If i actually came out, like properly, aside from the whole you're-going-through-a-phase thing i think it'd be okay. Both of my parents are fairly liberal and my dad's girlfriends sister is a lesbian, so definitely no homophobia there. My mums boyfriend is, i think, a bit of a homophobe but quite frankly i couldn't give a toss what he thinks about me or my life.
    May 18th, 2008 at 07:10pm
  • MGMT

    MGMT (250)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    29
    Location:
    United States
    Have you come out to your family (if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transsexual)?
    -Yessir. Bi/Omnisexual.

    How did your family react? Did they accept your sexuality?
    -My mom almost kicked me out, but it was night time when I told her and I was 14 so I had nowhere to go so she's letting me stay home until I'm 18. My dad has no idea. My brothers know and one of them is okay with it the other is a little iffy. My mother is hoping that I somehow become straight during the next 3 yrs.

    Did they deny your sexuality? Do you think it is important to even come out to your family?
    -Yes, my mother did. Well, I kinda had to come out because I live in a small town so I would have rather to tell her myself than have like, my neighbor tell her.

    Perhaps a sibling of yours came out, how did you react? Do you think it is morally wrong to not be straight? Or is it morally neutral?
    -I think my younger brother is gay anyway, but I don't really care. It's cool if he's not, and it's cool if he is. The heart is curved, so there's no reason that love should be straight.
    May 18th, 2008 at 08:15pm
  • Jojo.

    Jojo. (250)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    27
    Location:
    Philippines
    I'm not sure with my sexuality. :shifty I mean, I'm just a kid, how could I know?
    I had a crush who's a girl and I told that to my grandma. She's cool with it, I guess.

    Then she told that to mom and my brother. And they were like O:
    Damn they were about to freak out. :file:
    I just told them it was a lie. :file: That I was just kidding.

    I don't know. If ever in the future, I'm really bisexual or lesbian, I'm never ever gonna tell them 'cause I know what's gonna happen; they'll freak out, tell me I'm just seeking attention, tell me what I'm doing's wrong, then blame the people around me and the internet.

    :file:
    May 19th, 2008 at 03:07pm