"Coming Out" to Family About Sexuality

sahina the beatnik.:

The heart is curved, so there's no reason that love should be straight.

I can honestly say that I've never seen that one before, and I love it to death! I should start using that.

This probably seems like a stupid question but, I'll give it a shot at asking.

Is it possible for a girl/boy to not have a sexual orientation. Meaning, can you just not have an interest in boys or girls at all? Would that be counted as "undecided"?

^^ Yup. It's defined as asexual.

About a year ago from today I told my parents I was "bi sexual." They took me as a joker and said "hah. I hope you're not sexual yet. xD" That was fine with me, though I was a little disappointed. Eh. At least they knew. That's all that mattered. Though they keep asking what boys I want to date this year. I don't want to date any guys. I don't want to date any girls either, now. Hah. I really think being in love, dating, marriage, etc. is stupid. That's only me, though. Perhaps I'm incredibly twisted when it comes to living thoughts and stuff. I never want a date or marriage. I think that may last, though what do I know?

I've been out for just over two years now. I don't entirely understand the concept of coming out, however. The reason behind this is that I am not a 'gay man.' I am a man who happens to be gay. I also happen to be white, a gamer, and have ADHD. My point is that my sexual orientation is only a part of myself, and I make it a point to not define myself by any one part of me.

That being said, my philosiphy on coming out is, "If you want to know, you are fully capable of asking me." I won't go out of my way to tell someone. I really only talk about it if it comes about in conversation, or if I am asked. (Ironically, the first of two people that I told without prompting was my girlfriend.)

All my friends know, as does my mother's side of the family, and they are all okay with it. What gets me is that nobody I am close to has ever had a major reaction to learning. It's always been, "Oh? Okay...," or, "Makes sense," etc... People who aren't particularly close to me, however, never see me as particularly fruity (Stereotypically gay. I mean no offense, it's simply the word I use to explain the concept.)

My dad, (and other of his side of the family,) won't take it quite so well... No, my dad is something of a 'Far Right fundamentalist Southern Baptist neo-nazi homophobe.' I have nothing against conservatives, as I am one, or Christians, who can be great people. I'm nearly out of high school, and he won't find out until then, for fear of being sent to a 'fag-fixing' school. I even doubt he will find out for many years to come.

So, just for clarification...If someone does not like boys or girls, they would classify themselves as undecided or "asexual"?

I haven't come out yet, but I really don't have a reason not to. I've always been a bit shy about my sexuality altogether when it comes to my mom. My sister is genderqueer, two of her exes are transsexual, and she now has a girlfriend. One of my best friends is a lesbian, my other best friend is bi, my mom is straight... with bi tendencies. :coffee: I have people coming out like everyday around me.

When my sister came out, my grandparents told her that what she was doing was sick and that she was going to hell and were afraid that she would "rub off on me."

They're ridiculous homophobes and after that I'll never forgive them, and I don't plan on telling my grandparents that I'm bi.

I've come out to the school and my friends, but that's it. I'm shy on telling my sister, but, hey, I'll deal. I'm not afraid of telling anyone but I can't think of a good time to tell my mom and family or how I'd start the convo.

-shrug-

I came out to my mom about my bisexuality the summer after the seventh grade. I still haven't decided if it was a good decision or not. She's never treated me any differently, and she's happy that I could be open with her about it. But I've regretted telling her since she said (not too long ago) that I was telling people I was bi because I wanted the attention, which isn't true at all.
I'm not allowed to tell my grandma, and my dad is out of the question. My grandma would probably disown me, and my dad, well, I just don't want to tell him because he's my dad. He might want me to make a porn or some crazy shit like that.

I'm still trying to figure out a way to tell my family
Only my mom knows, my sister and dad still don't though.

It didn't help that my dad was raised in an all white/straight environment
And my sister's mind is shaped to think bisexuality is "ew"

I've always known I was into girls. I'm not sure if I should consider myself an actual lesbian, but I'm im leaning towards it. Guys just never really did anything to me.

I have no clue what my parents, or even sisters, think of homosexuality though, so I've kept it to myself. My dad seems like he'd be cool with it, but I really don't know about my mom. She's so... unpredictable.

I didn't technically come out to my family.
But my sister did take the liberty to tell my mum that I was talking to a girl I liked online. >.>
Did not end well.
My mum threatened to cut my hands off. My sister continued to tell my brother with a smile on her face as I cried in the corner. My brother made me delete my MySpace and LiveJournal (which I un-deleted after a few days), while telling me that slash was disgusting. My mum talked to me in the car that I shouldn't do that, or else people will think I'm gay.
And yet I've seen a picture where my sister was frenching some random chick. *shudders*
If it's not obvious, my family's kinda homophobic.

So. I've decied to not let them know until I'm 18.

Screaming Photo Op.:

I didn't technically come out to my family.
But my sister did take the liberty to tell my mum that I was talking to a girl I liked online. >.>
Did not end well.
My mum threatened to cut my hands off. My sister continued to tell my brother with a smile on her face as I cried in the corner. My brother made me delete my MySpace and LiveJournal (which I un-deleted after a few days), while telling me that slash was disgusting. My mum talked to me in the car that I shouldn't do that, or else people will think I'm gay.
And yet I've seen a picture where my sister was frenching some random chick. *shudders*
If it's not obvious, my family's kinda homophobic.

So. I've decied to not let them know until I'm 18.

:arms:

I haven't come out to my family yet. they said they'd disown me if I were ever to turn "not straight"

They are sort of weird.

All my family knows.
I told them, well my mum, a year ago though at the time I told her I was bisexual.
Though, she now knows that I really only like girls.
She really loves my girlfriend... she thought we were going out before we even were :tehe:

My brother and sister know... I swear my sister is, well at least, bi considering she always makes up these weird obsessions with Shalisa, my girlfriend and... Aaron Carter's mum :XD
Though she's only eleven so I doubt she even knows yet.

My dad knows as well and while usually he doesn't really say anything about it whenever he's angry with me he'll start saying some really... just stupid things.
He doesn't like me being gay, though, I suppose he deals with it.

I'm not sure what I am exactly
I always joke with my friends saying I'm pansexual but I can't honestly stand by it
My religion says its a sin to not be a heterosexual so I obviously have to be straight.
But I sometimes feel like asking my parents, "Would you hate me if I was gay?"

I never talked to my parents about it and I'll never gonna tell them that I'm bisexual. I'm sure that they won't understand. I don't know if they consider being homosexual or whatever as a sin but they do consider it to be very inappropriate. Plus my parents are homophobics so I'll keep it to myself. My best friend knows about it and she's cool with it but, my other friends are the same as my parents.

I told my mum last year that i was bi cause i was being bullied about it at school. i don't thnk she believed me.

My sister knows and i swear she is and ask her at least once a month she says no and roles her eyes.

My dads full on christian and ihad a huge fight with his friends about. I don't think they like me so much anymore :) I talk about gays all the thim and he probably knows, but i have a bf so i bet he's confussed as hell lol.

My uncles gay and my grandma is the best but i havn't told them.

I may do when I get a gf.

nearly all my mates are either gay, lez, bi, straight with a twiat or bisexualy curiusso it's a big flamin camp it's awesome!!!!!!!

I have to come out to my family, I'm scared to tell them I don't like boys.

It's going to be hard.

Syck:

Have you come out to your family (if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transsexual)? How did your family react? Did they accept your sexuality? Did they deny your sexuality? Do you think it is important to even come out to your family? Perhaps a sibling of yours came out, how did you react? Do you think it is morally wrong to not be straight? Or is it morally neutral?

Discuss your opinions here about sexuality and your experiences with coming out to your family.

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I came out to my parents about being bisexual a few months ago. My brother found out when he saw me with my girlfriend. Both my mother and brother are adamant Christians, and they are strongly against my sexuality but they don't harass me about it. My brother and I argue every once in a while about it, but nothing more than that. My father is more accepting of it, and tolerates my complaining when relationships don't go well, but for the most part my parents don't like it when I talk about relationships, so I try to keep it to a bare minimum.
I've heard so many horror stories about others who came out of their families. One of my friends was kicked out of the house because she told her father she was a lesbian. She is now living with her grandmother.

I told my sister first and she started laughing. She informed me then she was lesbian. lol XP who knew? hahaha then I told my friends and they were like oh okay and we finished eating lunch. I told my father in simple words uhhh dad I think I might be bi. All he said was oh and i asked him not to hate me. He said he didn't and we had a nice long conversation. I learned I'm alot like my dad...I still haven't told my brother or my mother. My brother is an asshole so I don't wana hear a stupid comment yet and my mom isn't living with us at the moment so it's not quite possible to tell her yet but I don't want her to freak yet and I don't feel like being yelled at yet so I haven't told her. I think if I do tell her before i move in with her she'll want me to go back. if i do tell her and she starts to get smart with me I gonna come back and live with my dad. i don't wanna have to deal with her crap and her being a jerk!

My parents don't know. Actually, they might because I suspect them of reading my internet stuff, but whatever. I know they'd be basically accepting, not like "get out of my house". They'd just be confused. Lmfao.

And my friends... I think they already know. They're always talking about how "they wouldn't be surprised if I was bi," or that "I seem like the right person to be bi."

The closest i've come to 'coming out' has been telling my bunkmates at camp that I wouldn't mind kissing a girl.

=/ Lame. I just don't feel like telling anyone cause it's kind of private, you know? I'll tell people when I get a girlfriend. Otherwise, who cares? It's no use jumping up like that before anything happens.

Girls, boys, aliens, transes... who cares. Some thing to me. Sexuallity is a joke,. :file: