"Coming Out" to Family About Sexuality

My friend is gay. He came out to his parents when he was 12 (he is 14 at the moment). He was like, "Mom, I'm gay."
And she started crying. He was mouthing to me "Should I go?" and his mom was just like, "No honey, these are happy tears."
Apparantly she had known for awhile (he had a boyfriend and all three of us hung out alot) and she was just waiting for him to say something. She completely understood :cute:

Now if I were in that situation (because I think I might be bi but I'm not really sure...)
Oh God. My step-parents are Christians. My biological parents probably wouldn't care :file:

the only person in my family who knows my sexuality is my brother, and he found out on accident. he was online, and my girlfriend at the time IMed me all like 'hey baby <3' and i told her i'd talk to her later and i loved her. later on he walked in and i was talking to her and he was like 'is she your girlfriend?' and i asked him what he meant, he clarified, and i looked away and kind of curled up in a little ball because i was afraid he would be mad.

but he wasn't, he just went 'aw, honey, i don't care. if she makes you happy, it's perfectly fine with me' and gave me a big hug. :]

i'm not quite sure how my parents would react. i think they would get upset, but eventually accept it because i'm their daughter. i don't want to test the theory, however, unless it's absolutely necessary.

Hey Jude.....:

I'm basically positive I'm Bi-Sexual.... But I'm almost scared about it.. Because I'm a Christian, and I feel like 'If I like this girl, and we want to physically act on our feelings (especially, like, actually having sex) I'll be some sort of abomination unto the Lord.' And thats pretty huge. And repeatedly asking for forgiveness after something like that, but then doing it again and again, is like using Him as a Get Out of Jail Free card, ya know? I don't really know what to do about it..... I want to keep my faith, but these feelings arent going to just go away... I've always had this type of conflict with myself though... Wanting to be the wild, often destructive, preson I am, and keep God in my life, and not dissapoint Him... Its hard.

I'm not Christian, but I believe if you are a good person, God will love you. God does not care who you love, or what gender they are, God is accepting.

(off-topic-ness over, back to the thread topic which I have nothing to say about, kthnxbai.)

If you have strict parents I think itsd best to 'come out' when yourt financially independent.

Blut:

All these stories are making me worry more about telling my family. I actually don't mind being disowned, but what if I'm beaten for it?

I share the same concerns.
My parents are homophobic, so I know I would get kicked out of the house...
I wouldn't mind being disowned either, but...
I can't support myself if I were to get kicked out of the house, and well...I don't think I'd be able to swallow my pride and go to a family members house..
And none of my friends know that I'm bisexual, but I really do want to come out to them, I'm just afraid that they won't accept me for me, or that it'll be all awkward after they find out, I don't know, my friends aren't really homophobic (besides one person) so I don't think it'd bother them all that much, but I don't it to be all awkward when ever we're around eachother, you know?

Sketch:

I haven't come out to my parents. I don't feel like i've come out to myself. As far as all my friends are concerned i'm bi, and i have a girlfriend, so...yeah.

I don't want to come out to my parents becuase a) they'd immeditely think it was a phase, i think. and b) my mum was actually talking about how "annoying" bi people are. she said they were "greedy" and should make their minds up.

If i actually came out, like properly, aside from the whole you're-going-through-a-phase thing i think it'd be okay. Both of my parents are fairly liberal and my dad's girlfriends sister is a lesbian, so definitely no homophobia there. My mums boyfriend is, i think, a bit of a homophobe but quite frankly i couldn't give a toss what he thinks about me or my life.

I have almost the same prob... but my dad is for a fact homophobe >.<

Hah, me come out to my family? That's a laugh right there. I don't know if my Mom would accept me or not because she's never actually talked about homosexuality or anything. I think my sister would accept it. She's never really said anything about it either.

My dad? Fuck that. He said that all gay people need to be shot between their eyes. I should move out soon. I can't stand living with the assfuck, really.

My one friend who is basically like my brother was fine with it but when I came out he told his then-girlfriend which I'm glad for because she was also my first girlfriend. It's kind of strange how those things work sometimes. The friends that I have now that do know are okay with it. Some of the people I had when I came out are no longer my friends for reasons that you can guess.

I think I'm going to tell my one cousin soon. I mean, she has a right to know because I'm always asking her about her love life and when she asks about mine I feel kind of awkward. I might do that the next time I talk to her. Just start talking about politics or something because she's kind of into that. Kind of weird for a 13 year old but whatever floats her boat. We're pretty close and I feel really bad for keeping this huge secret from her.

I haven't really came out to my family yet. Because I'm still trying understand my feelings towards other females. But awhile back (1 year ago?) My mom was reading my older sisters diary and was horrified to find out she kissed her best friend. My mom confronted me about it by saying. "Victoria, your only interested in boys right?" And I was scared of what she would think of me so I lied and said yes. I'm also a little scared of what my dad would say. He's very judgemental. Especially towards women.

Okay, I didn't have to "come out" because I am none of those, but I was just thinking. Why do people have to come out of the closet or what not? I am totally for people being gay, lsebians, bi-sexual, or transgender. I think that people shouldn't have to do that, they should be able to be who they are without them telling you that they aren't straight. I don't go around saying "Hey, I'm straight." It just bugs me when people do the whole "It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve." Well God made all people right? So why would he make something he strongly opposes. You can dealt this is you don't want it on here. I just had a burst of rambling.

dear brittaney:

Okay, I didn't have to "come out" because I am none of those, but I was just thinking. Why do people have to come out of the closet or what not? I am totally for people being gay, lsebians, bi-sexual, or transgender. I think that people shouldn't have to do that, they should be able to be who they are without them telling you that they aren't straight. I don't go around saying "Hey, I'm straight." It just bugs me when people do the whole "It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve." Well God made all people right? So why would he make something he strongly opposes. You can dealt this is you don't want it on here. I just had a burst of rambling.

Because they want to be open with the people they love and just hope the other people love them just as much.

Dad's side of the family: Thinks gays are trash etc. Biggest homophobes I've ever met. The hardcore Christian, You'll-burn-in-hell for-your-sins type.

Mom's side of the family: My mom hates me, but her side of the family is a little bit more open minded. If I get kicked out I might lean on my aunt. My mom would never support me.

Brother: Completely homophobic. Considers homosexuality a disease.

And I have to come out to all of them someday. Lucky me.

I love telling this story :mrgreen:

Well, basically, I ended up coming out to more people at school about being a lesbian before my mum found out. (That's like, another funny story, which does incorporate a bit into this one of how my entire family find out)

So, it all began when me and mum where sitting watching Deal Or No Deal, and she made this comment about how this one guy had really lovely eyes and said to me "Oh, he has lovely eyes, doesn't he have nice eyes?"
So I was like, "Uhh... No?"
She gave me a confused looks, which, to my recollection, seemed to clear (Even with me avoiding eye contact I could see the realisation in her face) and she asked me "You've made up your mind, haven't you?*"
I told her that I had.
Then I went on to explain to her how Laura** was telling people at school about it, and how she was going around saying to people "Did you hear? Our Ruth's a gay man now.***"
My mum started laughing so hard, I thought she was going to have a heart attack, thankfully she didn't. Sadly, she started texting that to everyone in the family whos number she happened to have.

I think the only person who really dissaproved of it at the time was my father, he was a firm believer in the possibility that I was "far too young" to know this. I have to tell you all now, that as possible as that may be, I grew up pretty fast, and everyone tells me how I sound more like someone alot older than I am.

That's my story :file:

*I came out as bi-sexual a month or two beforehand, but had some funny experiences (Actually amusingly, funny, not in the bad sense of the term) with guys that just put me off them. And I was always swaying more towards girls anyway. Always.

**My best friend.

***Catherine Tate reference.

varkatzas.:

dear brittaney:

Okay, I didn't have to "come out" because I am none of those, but I was just thinking. Why do people have to come out of the closet or what not? I am totally for people being gay, lsebians, bi-sexual, or transgender. I think that people shouldn't have to do that, they should be able to be who they are without them telling you that they aren't straight. I don't go around saying "Hey, I'm straight." It just bugs me when people do the whole "It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve." Well God made all people right? So why would he make something he strongly opposes. You can dealt this is you don't want it on here. I just had a burst of rambling.

Because they want to be open with the people they love and just hope the other people love them just as much.

Oh, I'm not saying that I don't understand that, I am just that I wish the world could have it as a "natural" thing to where eventually people just didn't care whether you are gay, straight or bi.

Martin Johnson.:

"No honey, these are happy tears."

That story made me laugh in a happy way. He's lucky. :cute:

I'm not gay or bisexual, but I have a few friends who are bi.
I think I would probably be accepting of my kids.
People who aren't accepting because they think it's bad are terrible! I mean, they're your children! The fruit of your loins!

About my kids again; I'd go all Catherine Tate on them and go to all my friends and be like, "Did you hear about our [insertmyson'snamehere]? He's a gay man now."

When my older brother came out to our parents, he did it via text.
As soon as his did recieved the text, he and my mum went upstairs and like.. talked with my brother about it.
I mean, my mum was more understanding than my dad was.
But they still accepted it.

A few months later, my brother moved out to live with his long term boyfriend.
My parents got on so well with him, he became a part of the family.

It would've been weird if my parents hadn't of accepted it, I don't think I'd ever forgive them.

My brother came out about a year ago now, and he's really happy about how it all turned out (:

When I figured out I was a lesbian at 12, I told my aunt and uncle cause they're very down to earth and young and accept everyone. They were obviously cool with it. My aunt even told me I was lucky I didn't have to deal with boys x}. Then I told my other aunt, i'm not close with her, I have a strong dislike towards her actually. But I told her cause I didn't like holding it all in. She told my other uncle who I have a strong dislike towards too. He called my awesome aunt and was like how could she figure that out? She was like "Well, how did you know you were straight?" Then the aunt and uncle I dislike I think told my grandparents because they tell them everything and my grandparents started saying very homophobic things when I was around not too long after I told my aunt who I didn't like. My sister found out by reading my journal. She had a bad panic attack. That was bad >.< I was really worried to tell people in my school besides my close friends and everyday people, but now that i've gotten older and i've known I was gay for quite a while, pretty much everyone knows besides the homophobic people in my family. I don't plan on telling my mother, she doesn't understand. She never will. She had a feeling I was gay and tried to beat me (but she's short compared to me so she failed x}) so I just said I was straight to her. I don't think it's a big deal not telling my mother because I don't plan on her being a part of my life later since I take care of her and she doesnt take care of me and I don't feel like taking care of a person and living with a person who tries to kill me for being gay. So whatever. It sounds kinda bad, but you can't always think negatively about it, I just laugh at the fact she's so short and she always tries to beat me and completely fails x} But that's how out I am at the moment. :}

My friend, who is gay, tried to come out. His parents didn't believe him and thought he was joking.

My Mum is a lesbian so I'm worried that some of my family will think I'm copying her. I knew I was bi way before she came out. Geez.
She only came out at the start of this year ( I always knew though. To me, it was obvious.)
Yeah, but I haven't really said anything to my Dad...It'll come out eventually. He's not stupid; he'll figure it out and support me whatever I choose to be.

Lovestoned.:

My friend is gay. He came out to his parents when he was 12 (he is 14 at the moment). He was like, "Mom, I'm gay."
And she started crying. He was mouthing to me "Should I go?" and his mom was just like, "No honey, these are happy tears."
Apparantly she had known for awhile (he had a boyfriend and all three of us hung out alot) and she was just waiting for him to say something. She completely understood :cute:

Now if I were in that situation (because I think I might be bi but I'm not really sure...)
Oh God. My step-parents are Christians. My biological parents probably wouldn't care :file:

That made me smile so much. That's awesome.

I cried when I came out to my mom. She would always make snide remarks about sexuality so I thought she would hate me but she was oddly accepting about it. When I told my pop I just came out with. Exact words were, "Pop, I like the ladies." And he laughed then relized I was serious and said that it was ok. He didn't care as long as they are nice and respectful to me.