"Coming Out" to Family About Sexuality

I was in the shopping centre with my mum and I walked past the girl I have s thing for, I kinda started going mum that's her etc etc and she jsut looked at me and said "what ever floats your boat". Must say that was interseting cause I'm still not sure whether she knows or not.

I never really found the need to 'come out' or whatever, to my friends or family. I mean, as long as it's not eating you away inside, what's the point of making such a big deal out of confessing it? I don't even know what I am for sure, though if I had to say, I'd probably say I'm bisexual. But I don't like saying that, because I don't like slapping a label onto myself like that, and I think that's how I'd feel if I ever 'came out' to anyone.

And it's not like my family situation is picture perfect, like they wouldn't care. My dad, who is intolerant of pretty much anything (he grew up in a scummy New York City neighborhood, raised by strict Catholics, so chances are, he was taught that even beating up a gay guy on the street would be the right thing to do), probably would get pretty pissed, but I've stopped caring about it. I don't feel the need to worry about how he'd react and plan how to tell him, so I just don't. I think people should just let their friends and family figure it out for themselves; maybe when you grow up, you'll move out and as an adult, you'll bring a girlfriend home for Christmas, and I think your family can figure it out from there.

My best friends already know, and they couldn't care less. A girl kissed me twice at a dance once, then again at school the next day. And my best friend tricked me into kissing her as a joke (I fell down in a dirt parking lot, cutting up my elbow; my friend was like 'You want me to kiss it and make it better?' and I went along with it and was like 'Yeah :tehe:', so she leaned in and kissed me on the lips, right in front of her boyfriend too)--so obviously my friends don't care and I'm not worried about that.

My mom obviously wouldn't care--she even gets pissed at my dad for being such an intolerant prick. I remember being at the gynecologist one or two years ago, filling out this set of questions, questions like 'Do you smoke?' and 'Are you sexually active?' One of the questions went something along the lines of 'Are you aware of your sexuality?' I checked 'Unsure' because I didn't really want to say right out that I knew--and I still don't know. My mom was reading a copy of my answers later on, and she said 'really?' with a look of curiosity on her face. She clearly didn't care, but she did say something afterward like 'well, you might wanna make sure your father doesn't know, because you know he'd probably kick you right out of the fucking house'. I just smiled. I still don't feel the need to really 'confess' to anyone. I don't see the point, it was never a big deal or me.

My mom's into the drag shows and has more gay friends than I do, but still refuses to believe that I'm not joking around and being funny when I go to the movies with girls.
My dad on the other hand, gives me $10 for every date I go on with a girl
He thinks it's the right way to be because then I can't get pregnant haha
I like boys sometimes too, and it disappoints him whenever I mention liking one
But for now I don't put a label on it and feel the need to gather my family together for a talk, because I'm not even sure of myself yet.
I'm a teenager and I'm filled with crazy hormones, I could change my mind at any given moment, there's no need to get my family stirred up about it just yet

I told my parents that I was bi 10 months ago. She is not my real mother she and my father are my foster parents. I told them because of a internet issue that happened. The told me that no matter what my lifestyle or who I am they still love me just the same. I celerated my 18th birthday august 13,2008 and they met my boyfriend for the the first time. Take this as you may, some teens who talk to their parents about it won't get the same result. Be caustious some fam ilies aren'y ready for something like that give it some time and things will pan out. :file: sorry i like the smilies

My sister and I had a bit to drink the other night and basically she found out about me. I didn't directly come out like, 'I'm gay.' She was asking me questions if there were any guys I was interested in, and getting no luck with that she said, 'I think you know what I'm going to ask..'
So, I didn't deny it. Apparently her and her husband had suspicions anyways. Lolol.

But she was telling me that she'd prefer for me to be with a guy, not cause she thought it was wrong but because.. well. My parents are chrisitan and very stuck in their old traditions so.. if I came out to them it would kind of kill them. And that it would be a pretty hard time for me and them dealing with that.

I suppose I can't just never tell my parents. I'd like that but I think they have some right to know who I'm with. It's just difficult because I know they'd never accept me for who I am because of their beliefs.

I'm bi, still haven't told my parents about mu sexuality.
My mom talks about how everything would fall apart if her children was gay or bi.
So I shut up.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I didn't want anyone to find out about my sexuality though.

My friend is gay, his mom is catholic, he never see her 'cause he kinda hates her.
Last month when he visit his mother, he went like "Guess what? I'm gay!"
His mom told him that he didn't have to visit her for 10 years.
He's happy. Haha, lol. XD

Mia Bell.:

My Mum is a lesbian so I'm worried that some of my family will think I'm copying her. I knew I was bi way before she came out. Geez.
She only came out at the start of this year ( I always knew though. To me, it was obvious.)
Yeah, but I haven't really said anything to my Dad...It'll come out eventually. He's not stupid; he'll figure it out and support me whatever I choose to be.

Yep. I got pinned for 'copying' my mum. Apparently according to my stepmother because I was influenced by my mum that's the reason for me kissing girls and liking them as well as guys.

:grmml: I was creaming my pants over girls way before my mum even realised that she was in love with her best friend. So they can shut up.

I "came out" to my parents as bisexual about three years ago. My mother was okay with it, but a little uncomfortable at first. She insisted I was going through a "phase." Now she's pretty much cool with it, though I'm sure it's still kind of weird to her when I bring up girls I'm crushing on.

My dad...didn't take it so well. He threw a temper tantrum, went off about how "disgusting" and "unnatural" it is, said that all bisexual means is that I'll screw anyone, and told me all I was to him was his "dyke daughter." Didn't talk to me for two and a half weeks. Then apparently got over it...made himself forget it...and did the same thing all over again a year later when he overheard me talking to my mom about a girl I really liked.

I'm not sure if he knows now or if he's still trying to inwardly deny the knowledge. But it's not something I intend to bring up to him again.

I don't know if I'm Bi or lesbian, I mean, I love it when boys are with other boys, it turns me on, but like, I can kinda see myself with a guy, but I would so much rather be with a girl, I think I'm lesbian.

But like, I think guys are hot, but I don't really have any sexual thoughts about them and stuff, I actually find it gross when I see/ think of guys and girls doing it.

-shudder- I can't see myself with a guy like that.

So, I don't know, this thread made meh realize that I'm lesbian...I hope xD

THANKYOU MIBBA! ?

I haven't told my mum about me being 'bi', I know that she's not a homophobe becos my godmother's a lesbian and she has loads of gay/bi/lesbian friends.

Its just becos I'm really confussled?!
I think i'm in love with this amazing girl,
But to tell you the truth i'm really not sure,
I'm only 13 and I'm not even sure if I know what love is.
So i'm gonna wait untill i'm sure to tell her. (:

I told my mom.
About the fact that I am Bi.
It is still really weird.
I don't tell my mom who I find attractive or anything.
How ever me and my dad have the biggest discussions about hot girls.
I am glad they accept it.
Now the rest of my family.

My sister knew before I did, and my brother doesn't care. I thought he might, because drag queens terrify him, but apparently it's not so much a "run away from the queer!" thing as it is a "argh! six-foot man in heels!" thing. He's a total sweetheart, though, always defending us girls to our parents, especially when something trips his 'injustice!' radar.

My dad's a little uncomfortable talking about it, but I think that has more to do with normal parental discomfort when directly confronted with a kid's sex life than anything else. My mom says she's fine with it, but she feels sorry for me because, ohnoes, life is so much harder when you're gay! And my last remaining parental figure... is a virulent homophobe, so while I've casually said things that imply gayness in her presence, she's quite happy to remain in denial, and I'm quite happy not to actually tell her while I can still avoid it.

All in all, I figure if the worst I have to worry about is nutty mother figures with no significant power over me, I'm pretty well off. :mrgreen:

It wasn't me who came out, but my sister who did a few months ago. To tell you the truth, I have always had strong veiws about gays, lesbians, Bisexuals, etc. and they are different from my families. I believe that it doesn't matter what your sexuality is because that should be what makes you...you. And I could care less if one of my frineds is lesbian or gay. I really don't think it can actually "change" them.

My family however is very christian. Of course they don't tell my sister that they hate her for being that way and that they think it is just a phase, but I kjnow they feel that way. My sisister is so scared to tell my dad that he doesn't even know and we all hide it from him.

I don't know what I am. When I was sixteen I told my parents I was dating a girl and they said fine, since I was past the age of consent it was my business not theirs. But my dad still tries to justify it in his mind by comparing my relationship with my ex to his relationships with his friends.

:|

I leave him to it. It's easier for him that way. And whenever he asks me why I'm not out with some kind of a boyfriend being a normal teenager I reply "what, taking drugs and getting pregnant?"

And he shuts up ^^

Hell, even my grandmother accepted it. She's very traditional and a devout Christian, but I'm her favourite grandchild, and I guess that does wonders for your tolerance levels :D

^First off: dude. FTW! *falling off chair laughing*

Yeah, I generally find it's best to let people think what they want to most of the time -- particularly if you're living under the same roof. And I hope you don't mind my butting in, but it's pretty normal not to know exactly how you identify when you're young. Also, if it helps at all, women's taste in porn frequently doesn't reflect their taste in real-life sex -- a lot of lesbians like gay male porn, there are straight women who enjoy porn featuring solo women or lesbians, etc. etc.

My friends ditched me for being bi. My twin sister is a complete homophobe, she doesn't know yet. I don't know what my parents will say, when/if I come out to them.

crack cocaine:

My friends ditched me for being bi. My twin sister is a complete homophobe, she doesn't know yet. I don't know what my parents will say, when/if I come out to them.

Screw your folks if they do not accept you being Bi sexual. I am so sorry but if it is part of who you are they have to take you the way you are. By the way, your parents made you so they can't just ignore you for the fact that you are bi. About your sister, I think she just needs to warm up to the idea of someone in her close suroundings to indeed be gay or bi. Don't be scared, and about your friends; They are compleet idiots. They are not really friends if they ditch you for being Bi.

Ryan Ross.:

crack cocaine:

My friends ditched me for being bi. My twin sister is a complete homophobe, she doesn't know yet. I don't know what my parents will say, when/if I come out to them.

Screw your folks if they do not accept you being Bi sexual. I am so sorry but if it is part of who you are they have to take you the way you are. By the way, your parents made you so they can't just ignore you for the fact that you are bi. About your sister, I think she just needs to warm up to the idea of someone in her close suroundings to indeed be gay or bi. Don't be scared, and about your friends; They are compleet idiots. They are not really friends if they ditch you for being Bi.

Um, well, obviously safety should be your first priority. I don't know what your school and home environments are like, but if you're not sure you'd be safe as an out bisexual, you probably shouldn't come out. Assuming that's not the case, maybe you should take it slowly -- there are degrees of being out, and there's no reason you have to advertise to people you're not sure are comfortable with your sexuality. Just go with what you feel comfortable with.

I never really told my parents that I'm anything.
They know I've dated guys, and they know I've dated girls.
If anything I'd call myself pansexual, but I don't intend on telling my parents.
When my dad knew I had a girlfriend (...because I hadn't told him about the others...) he didn't care about the gender, more about the fact that he didn't know her and that I was freaking out about losing her and being all ~cliche.
I don't think it matters that much. I never really cared about the gender; I've always found the mind so very fascinating, a certain personality can set me off.
I was afraid to tell my parents that I can like girls as much as I can like boys, but I realize now that they don't really care. I don't bother to tell them who I'm dating unless I'm serious about it.

I don't even know what I am, in all honesty.
I don't really like giving it a label. If it had to have one, it would probably be pansexual, though.
Although I've never liked anybody as more than a friend, boy or girl, but I can see myself with both.

Coming out to my mum wouldn't be a problem, because she's fine with bi/homosexual people. It's my Dad, both sets of Grandparents and possibly the rest of my Mums family.
I'd hate for them to disown me, or think I was disgusting, but that's probably what would happen.