V For Virgin.

@ Extinct
Not necessarily. My aunt hadn't been kissed/had a boyfriend when she graduated high school.

@ demolition lover;
Are you only talking about 14 year olds or what? I'm 25 so I don't know if I should respond to what you said or not...

Also, I don't know how anyone's discussions on this thread could make them "shallow".

@ pravda.
First of all, I didn't mean to sound like I was bashing. I didn't name anyone, I just referred to the immaturity of a minority of people on this thread who seem to have made their life goal losing their virginity before they turn 14.

Secondly, I don't mean to sound sexist, I am a feminist to the extent that I believe women should be equal to men. I know that doesn't truly make me feminist, but most girls I know tend to let themselves be pushed around, and only strive towards the male getting pleasure out of whatever they're doing so that the male will 'keep' them. If a couple, no matter what age, decide to have sex, I think it has to be a mutual decision and that's fine. It's only when one person uses the other for their own pleasure and doesn't bother to think about the aftermath that it becomes wrong. I think this tends to happen a lot with teenage sex, due to a lot of hormones and just sexual frustration in general. The male usually doesn't want to use a condom because it 'holds him back', but doesn't worry about potential STDs or pregnancies (again, this is only from my experience).

I must say from my experience in high school, that sex is a forbidden word that is only briefly assessed in RSE and then you're told 'it's bad' and never to have it. I'm about to enter my third year of RSE and I think that the way it's taught in schools, or mine at least, really only focuses on the biology of the act and not on the emotional repercussions that it can have. If someone tells you something is bad and wrong, it just sparks off curiosity inside of you that makes you want to try it and see what's so bad. Also, we have been taught nothing about contraceptive methods, which I think is terrible considering most of the people in my year will soon be turning sixteen, just one year away from the legal age for sex, and also most of them are in serious and lengthy relationships. Abstinence is pushed on us, which I hate, but that may be something to do with me going to a single-sex Catholic school run by nuns.

After reading this, could you take into account that I am a fourteen year old girl who has never been in a serious relationship and has no experience in sex. Because my lack of knowledge tends to get in the way, and I'll be the first to admit that.

@ dru chases the wind.
I was talking to everyone and anyone. And I've just realised that the comment that made me write about shallow people was not from this thread, it was from another that I had opened at the same time. Which makes me feel incredibly stupid.

demolition lover;:

It can still be bashing if you don't name anyone. Basically there's an expectation, on discussion boards, that you accord others respect. Anyone on the thread would be capable of taking offence at an open statement like that, so in one sense it's worse than if you had named a person.

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I definitely wasn't targeting your age or experience, and a lot of your comments accord with what I was saying about lack of education and the role that educational institutions can play in remedying that, and, then, the issues stemming from the poor education. The exemption religious schools get on various discrimination and curriculum points I find really troubling - I think a parent might choose to send their child to a school where they learn a certain set of values, but if an important part of education is to have an understanding of sex beyond "don't, it's bad" then being religious should not excuse schools from that responsibility.

At the same time, that's surely also a failure on the part of parents, unwilling to talk to their kids and give them the facts. I know if (when) I have children, I'm going to make sure, once they know about this stuff, that they know about safety; I'd prefer a child who has some informed curiosity, than one off blundering about with no idea, endangering themselves and others. It seems extremely naive to have teenagers and think they don't know about it, and extremely reckless to assume they have a thorough, healthy, balanced understanding gleaned from, what - friends? porn? television/films? their single-sex religious school? Hm.

@ pravda.
I'll take that into account next time, it was just a comment along the lines of "I'm 11 and still a virgin, if I don't lose it by 14 I'll die" that angered me. The comment was actually not on this thread at all, but on another that I had open at the same time, which was kind of stupid on my part. I just don't think people that immature should even be talking about sex, let alone actually having it.

My school is a lot to do with my lack of knowledge and also to do with my reluctance to engage in anything sexual. Although I know there's nothing wrong with being in a relationship and having sex, all the things I've been told from supposed teachers are still niggling away in the back of my head telling me that what I'm doing is wrong and that I shouldn't be doing things like that at my age.

I have been blessed with a very open mother, who has given me a lot of insight and has taught me a lot about being safe, etc., and even offered to pay for me to start the pill when I began my first relationship. I knew it wasn't going to be serious so I declined, but it meant a lot to me that she offered. She knows what I'm taught at school and has opted to take my education on that type of matter into her own hands by telling me about her experiences in life. This can be a little awkward and embarrassing for both parties but I know I'm very lucky to have her, since I know most teenagers have to depend on those unreliable sources like friends, porn, TV and school.

Well, this is going to anger a lot of people, but I seriously don't think anyone under fifteen should be having sex. If you can't wait until past that age, then their's something wrong with your hormones. I mean, I'm sixteen and I'm not ready for that. A kiss, yeah, of course... but giving myself up so completely to a guy (or girl, I guess, if you swing that way) that I won't end up with? I think I would be damaged goods for a pretty long time. And let's be realistic - how many middle school romances end in marriage? High school, maybe. But middle school!?
I believe that if you have sex when your under fifteen, there are extraneous circumstances such as
1) abusive household and/or very bad examples from parents (promiscuous mothers, for example)
2) rape
3) serious lack of education
4) extremely low self-esteem (most likely tied to negligent parenting) and/or the desire to rebel
5) no control over their own bodies
and of course the classic low IQ (not necessarily saying that if you have sex when you're under fifteen, you're dumb!). LOL If you're reading this on Mibba, then I'm probably not referring to you. Not to sound any snobbier than I probably already have, but I think people on Mibba (writers and avid readers) are probably the finer of the world's teen population. Of course I've met some 'crazy' (putting it nicely) people on here, but I've also met extraordinarily brilliant people, too.
Anyways, back to the whole sex thing.
If anyone has a scenario in which they can prove me wrong, I'd be more than happy to read and accept it. Maybe you did really fall in love when you were in middle school? Who knows. But my question is (to anybody who's had sex when they were under fifteen) -
Do you not regret doing it at such a young age?

Okay, seriously did not want to offend anyone, even though I probably did. I realize I might seem sort of prejudiced, and I guess I am. It's just, I've talked to people about sex - my very open and funny parents, my teachers, my friends - and from what I've gathered it's just not something for the under-fifteen-year-old.
People should at least wait that long.
I think.
Okay. That was my two cents. Thanks for reading (or, more likely, skimming) this entire thing. I'm ready for the hate comments now... *hides behind pillow*

I'm seventeen years old, and I'm still a virgin by choice not circumstance. Even now, though my boyfriend's great and we've, er, experimented, I'm not sure if I want to lose it to him.

Honestly, to the people who say too many kids have sex. There was a twelve year old that had a miscarriage in my town. A twelve year old. I understand that sometimes you can get caught up in the moment, and that anywhere from 10-14 is when we start getting curious and wanting to experiment, but actual sex isn't something that should be taken with a grain of salt.

Then again, that's a personal opinion. At the end of the day, we've all got to make our own decisions based on ACTUAL thought on it, not a heat-of-the-moment thing because we don't want to look like pussies for backing out. No pun intended.

@ CardboardWings
I don't think there's anything wrong with their hormones if they have sex before 15 even if I don't agree with it. Do you have any statistics to back your opinions up or do you just think all non-virgin teens under 15 were raised by whores and hate themselves?

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Also, if you skim the thread you'll see plenty of people who lost their virginity under the age of 15 and didn't regret it.

CardboardWings:

how many middle school romances end in marriage?

I met my husband in middle school.

I resent the idea that you should only have sex with someone you plan on marrying. And your comment about having a low IQ is just wrong and offensive. You're just making up random things to try and make it seem you like you have evidence that 15 is the ideal age when really it's just a number pulled out of thin air.

I've seen users post in this thread about losing their virginity at 15 or younger and not all of them are "damaged" people filled with regret, they just view sex differently than you do.

Personally, I think 15 is too young, too. What is so magical about 15 that teens are suddenly non-hormonal and perfectly reasonable, level-headed miniature adults? I can't think of a damn thing.

@ CardboardWings
To some people sex doesn't have to be connected to some undying love that will end in marriage. Sometimes sex is just sex. No I don't particularly think 15 year olds should have sex either, but if they do then it doesn't have to equate with them being abused or have a lower IQ or whatever.

Personally, I wouldn't mind losing my virginity at fifteen if I were in a serious relationship for at least six months and I was in love with that person. Meaningless sex is just that- meaningless. Not only does it put you at higher risk for unplanned pregnancy, STDs, and/or HIV/AIDS, but it also can put an emotional toll on both you and your sexual partner(s). -A

In my personal opinion, sex is never meaningless. There has to be a deeper connection between me and my partner for us to have sex. I'm not a virgin, but I lost it to my boyfriend at that time, I had been with him for six months, I was 18. Of course him not being my boyfriend anymore, I resent him, but I don't regret losing my virginity to him because, at that point, it was exactly what I wanted. At least I did it with someone I loved and whom I trusted. To some people, sex is just sex and I can't tell them to think like I do. However, I think people shouldn't lose their virginity at age 15 - or earlier. I'm not saying Wear a purity ring, but I feel like 15 is still too young, they're almost children...

@ Ned Flanders
Do you mean in your personal opinion or your personal experience? Because I can tell you straight up I've had meaningless sex.

@ Valiente
Meaningless sex is a bad idea for teens, in my opinion. However, I think it's a completely different situation when adults have casual/meaningless sex.

@ dru is the man.
In my opinion, what an adult does is their decision. I just think that it's a bad idea for anyone just because of the possible risks. But like I said, that's just my opinion

@ Valiente
Well, the risks listed can be great decreased by using condoms and another method of birth control. The "emotional toll" is not going to be the same or even existent depending on the individuals involved.

I think it's a bad idea for people who don't want to do it/minors.

@ dru is the man.
That is a very good point. However, condoms are only effective 97% of the time, and birth control only works 98% of the time. There's always the risk of the condom breaking, birth control failure, or both. But adults can do whatever it is they wanna do, whether it's having meaningless sex and one-night-stands or not having sex at all

@ dru is the man.
I mean both, actually, now that you point it out.
Of course I have nothing against anyone who choses to have sex just for the sex, it's none of my business, but I personally wouldn't do it and I have never done it. As long as you're protected and you're doing it for yourself and not just to please someone else, then go for it!

I agree with Valiente, adults can do whatever the heck they want, they're adults. Teens, however, is a bit of a different story. If you're sleeping around without any cares, it'll be more than just your problem, you'll involve your family in it.

I'm going to come out and say it.
I lost my virginity at 15 to a boy who knew how innocent and unknowing I was. He got me to trust him, believe he thought I was the most beautiful girl in the world. I believed him and allowed myself to trust him.
Everyone makes mistakes.
I don't think it's 'cause everything's over sexualised, I believe it's because teenagers, especially the younger ones are nowadays stuck in the no-man's land. The point wher you're told you can't be a child any more but aren't given any of the respect or choices you get as an adult. So they go one of two ways: stick to being a child or try to be adult.

Also, to address an earlier comment I agree. Most middle aged couples I know that were high school sweet hearts are now divorced. Same with the couple where they were each other's firsts.
If you don't experience more than one person how do you know what you like? Whether you're entirely satified in the physical aspect of the relationship? Everyone grows as they get older as a person, this means you're going to change and you have to be able to adapt or move on when that happens.

DistractionFox:

If you don't experience more than one person how do you know what you like? Whether you're entirely satified in the physical aspect of the relationship? Everyone grows as they get older as a person, this means you're going to change and you have to be able to adapt or move on when that happens.

I think it's pretty obvious whether you like your significant other or not; whether they are your 1st or your 100th partner.

I also disagree with the idea that you need to sleep with a bunch of people to find out what you like sexually. I think you find out what you enjoy sexually by having a partner you trust enough to experiment with and communicate with about your needs, and I don't think sexual chemistry is this thing you either have or don't have with someone- it's something that you build on, and something that evolves your entire relationship.

I'm not sure what you mean about a person changing in relation to people who get married young. It doesn't matter if I waited until I was 35 to get married, 20 years later, my relationship and partner would be very different. I met my husband when I was about 13. Naturally, we were incredibly different people then. We started dating when I was sixteen, and over the past four years we have both changed dramatically, our lives have changed, our jobs have changed, our schools changed- but the whole point of getting married is finding a person you want to change with. I don't think getting married young is the problem; I think getting married with the expectation that your partner is stagnate is the problem, at any age.