V For Virgin.

I'm 18 and I'm still a virgin. I've never been kissed and I've never even had a boyfriend. I've heard so many different opinions on how long I should wait. A couple of friends say that it's okay to just lose it to anyone, as long as I'm careful and safe (which I plan to be, no matter what.)

The majority of my friends say I should wait for someone "special," but that implies that I'll actually meet someone "special." Personally, I don't believe that there's someone like that out there for everyone. I just don't. It seems too good to be true. But that's a whole different story.

My older family members (i.e. my mother) and a small number of my friends think I should wait until I'm married to have sex. But I just can't see that happening. First of all, I have the worst track record with boys, as in no track record at all, hence the "no boyfriend ever" thing I mentioned earlier. I don't want to wait until I'm 30 to get married and have sex. I want kids, and I don't want to be in my 60s when they're heading off to college. Eh-eh. I want kids in my 20s. And second, I'm a little scared that if I wait until I'm married to have sex, I'll end up tied to someone who's well, not very good at it. I know that's not a reason to marry someone/not marry someone, but from what I've learned, a physical relationship is part of a good marriage (or am I wrong?). I don't want to be married to someone I won't want ot have sex with, because I want to be able to have a good physical relationship with my future husband.

I realize that a lot of this probably doesn't make a lot of sense, but it definitely felt good to get it all off of my chest.

I think it's horrible that some people nowadays feel so ashamed to be a virgin that they'd lose their virginity to anyone.

There are some people that may not hold virtue in high regard, and some that do. I personally wouldn't/didn't lose mine to just anyone, though I know people that have set out to just hook up with someone on a night out and lose it, it doesn't make me any less their friend, we just have different views.

@ Agathokakological..
I completely agree with you that kids these days feel some sort of weird need to not be virgins.
It's like they want to be considered cool by sleeping around, drinking too much, doing drugs... They should understand that's not cool, that's self harm. But oh well...

@ ZackyEffingVengeance
In my honest opinion, you should wait for someone you trust and are willing to give your body to. Doesn't mean he's going to marry you one day and you'll live happily ever after, but someone who, at that specific moment, you feel a special connection with. Losing your virginity, in my opinion of course, is not exactly the most important thing in your life, but shouldn't be taken as lightly as some people are taking it nowadays. It's not going to be like in the movies, but that doesn't mean it can be sloppy and with any random guy.
But I believe that the most important thing about losing your virginity is that YOU want it and feel physically and mentally prepared to do it, instead of just doing it because there's peers pressure or because you want to just lose it no matter what. It's your body, nobody else's.

@ Ned Flanders
One thing that really irritates me is that people think it's cool to take drugs and brag about it! I guess some forms of self harm are not taken as seriously because they're more socially accepted.

@ Agathokakological..
I don't even understand how doing drugs is considered cool. Then people post pictures of themselves on Facebook smoking joints, sniffing cocaine, drinking... And they get 100+ likes and comments like "You're so cool". Seriously, what is wrong with the world?

I'm not a virgin, but I was never ashamed to be one, or felt pressured to lose my virginity. I don't think that your first time should be with just anyone. Even the times after that. Some people may think it's not a big deal to just do it with anyone, but really something like that should be shared with someone you really care about, who cares about you and you feel comfortable with. I mean, the purpose of having sex is to make a baby. While another reason would be for "pleasure", the real anatomic reason for having sex is to reproduce, and if you wouldn't trust the person you're having sex with to be the father of your children, cause accidents do happen, then I don't think that you should be doing that with said person. And maybe you don't necessarily need to be in a relationship to do it, but I mean, at least know this person well enough, and be confident that is the person you would want to share your first time with.

Or maybe that's just me.

i lost my virginity when i was fifteen and now i'm seventeen and 2 months pregnant. part of me wishes i hadnt lost my virginity when i was so young, because then maybe i wouldnt be in the situation. i still have to go through senior year of high school. my advice is keep your virginity as long as possible!

@Ned Flanders
I understand why everyone says I should save it for someone special. But because I've never had anything close to a relationship and because I have extremely low self-esteem, I'll feel some type of a connection to the first guy who shows any interest in me beyond friendship, and that scares me a little.

@ secret.keeper

Why do you think losing your virginity at 15 lead to you being 17 and pregnant? People can lose their virginity at 13 and not have children till they're 35.

@ ZackyEffingVengeance
In all honesty, low self esteem shouldn't matter, you should lose it to the person you feel comfortable with. If you want to lose it to a guy who shows some interest, it sounds like all he wants is sex from you, and nothing more...

@ Agathokakological..
i personally think because if i wouldnt have lost it when i as 15, i would have waited until marriage, but i just got stupid and pressured one night, and have regretted it ever since

@ secret.keeper
You lost it at 15, and became pregnant at 17. You still had sex again at 17 to become pregnant. I know people who've had sex, and then had a 'promise ring' to say they wouldn't have sex again till marriage. It doesn't matter if you lost it at 15, you still had sex again when you could have waited.

@ ZackyEffingVengeance
That's a little dangerous. Douchebags can sniff low self esteem a mile away and one of those might try to act like he really loves you when all he wants is to fuck you. It sounds weird but, trust me, men are pigs (well, most of them). In that case, you'll have to be really sure that guy is not just trying to get inside you and then hit the road. Some guys will even brag to have fucked this girl or that girl and you wouldn't want to have the "fame" of being a slut because some moron took advantage of you. What you need to do is get some self esteem before you even consider getting in bed with a guy. If you're not happy with the way you look, ask your friends or your mom or sisters to help you with a makeover, try to make friends... Love yourself before you let anyone else love you I hope I'm being useful xD

@Ned Flanders
Very useful, yes :) I can't really go to my mom or my sister with things like this, because they're both some of those people who think I should wait until marriage. Plus, my sister is younger than I am and doesn't wear any makeup or dress up at, so she wouldn't be much help in that department. And my friends seem to be under the impression that I'm already "beautiful" and they get mad at me when I tell them I really don't think I am. I just feel like I have no one to go to with any of this.

I lost my virginity when I was 16, to the wrong guy. He told me we would be together forever, and I believed him for some reason. Once he had sex with me he dumped me.

I am a virgin at 14 and proud od it. I don't intend to lose my virginity to just anyone. Yeah I am a christian and that is a big part of my reasoning of not wanting to have sex before marriage bc I believe it is something special. But frankly as an upcoming freshman I'm kind of scared about everything bc I've heard a lot of stories and my bff keeps warning me about the senior guys (she's being homeschooled this year).

But anyway I reaalize some of you think I might be weird for my views. That's okay, I feel pretty normal bc I know two girls that don't want to kiss a guy until they're married. That is freakin insane... But I love them in spite of it. :)

@ fearless-forever
I heard of people who wont hold hands until they're married and never want to date until they're married either. ::XD;

Surround yourself with people who have morals similar to yours and you shouldn't have to worry about falling in with boys who want sex.

I am actually 15, but I've never had my first kiss. I've never met anybody special enough, and I'm way too immature for sex. Most people are too immature when they loose their v-Card. 11 year olds have done more than me but hey, I was raised a respectable girl, not a slut who spelt with everybody because it was the 'cool' think to do. Just because I've never got drunk and had sex doesn't make me a goody two shoes!

I'm in English high school, so in September I'm in the top year, and I'm a prefect, so if any kids start talking about when they lost it I will pull them up on everything!

@ The-Maine-Becky
There's no need to shame those of us who have had sex. It's fine that you're too immature for sex and it's good that you acknowledge that about yourself, but saying that most people are too immature when they lose their virginity is inaccurate. Also, having sex doesn't mean that you're not 'respectable'.