V For Virgin.

@ little motorkitty;

You have a point, thanks. I guess I'm stuck in my own opinion, haha. I just think it goes deeper than an hour or so of physical contact, it seems to affect you emotionally too. I've known people who acted like it wasn't a huge deal but then turned around and started hurting themselves and stuff because they regretted losing it to someone who changed his/her mind. I wish less kids were killing themselves over something they could have just waited to do. That's kinda where I'm coming from. I didn't mean to impose my beliefs on everyone, I'm sorry =/

@ Miss Vampire Is Dead
I don't think it' sup to you to tell people to have/not have sex. You don't know if they could regret it or not. What if the guy they love dies in a car accident? They could very well regret not being intimate with them when they had a chance.

I think it's a personal decision and young people should wait, but telling them always/never in terms of regrets isn't really fair.

I also wonder . . . you would never lose your virginity to a non-virgin? Do you view them as . . . weak? dirty? immoral? Just curious.

I don't like the virgin complex in general.

@ the drupocalypse.
No, it's not up to me. Clearly I wasn't thinking when I posted. I just never knew of your point of view is all; all I know is what I've done and what situations I've been in, you know? I'm not trying to impose my opinions on everyone, I'm really sorry that I've clearly offended you
And I never say that I would never lose my virginity to a non-virgin; I don't view anyone as weak, dirty, immoral, ect. because that would make me an asshole. I try to be as non-judgemental as I can with people, and I'd never judge someone just because they'd had sex. I'd hate it if someone treated me like shit because of that. I was just saying that my boyfriend and I are happy and it seems kinda cool that we're going to lose our virginity to eachother. That's it. I wasn't trying to make everyone else feel bad. I'm clearly an offensive person and I should delete my Mibba account or just stop talking to people. I'm really sorry I offended you; I didn't mean to. I made a poorly worded comment; that wasn't what I was trying to say. I'm sorry, I feel really terrible for it.

@ Miss Vampire Is Dead

There's no need to feel terrible, no one thinks you're an awful offensive person. I think everyone here probably agrees that it's a good thing that you've come to the decision that's right for you and your boyfriend. All that was said is that that may not be the right decision for everyone.

--

I lost mine when I was fourteen, and the only thing I regret is that I wasn't more careful about protecting myself healthwise. I got lucky and didn't catch anything or get knocked up, but that's only pure chance. Sex ed is really sorely lacking at the moment.

I do think a lot of people get too hung up on making it 'perfect' or 'special'. I know people who can't remember anything much about it because they were so anxious that there wouldn't be bells and fireworks, and that's a shame. Now they wish they'd just enjoyed the moment and enjoyed the intimacy.

I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with people giving up their virginity at a young age, as long as they're not putting themselves in any danger. It's totally up to the person if they want to have sex or not, not their friends, family, counselors, etc. When I lost my virginity, my mom grounded me when she found out. Not only was I enraged due to the fact that she was being completely hypocritical due to the fact that she lost it at an early age, but the fact that I was grounded for sharing an intimate experience with my boyfriend who I loved at the time.

What I regret is having sex one time without a condom, thinking that just because I was on the pill things would be alright. Luckily, I didn't catch anything, but it was still extremely stupid and careless of me to do that.

Anyways, I personally view losing one's virginity as not all that special or meaningful, but then again, that's my point of view. I kind of wish that I had lost my virginity to someone I didn't care about as much because now I look back at my ex, who I'm still close friends with, and remember the intimate and fun times we had as a couple. I guess I see virginity as something I wouldn't mind losing when the opportunity came up because it sucks thinking about who I lost my virginity to and having to constantly regret it.

@ marina.
Ha, thanks. I felt like such an a-hole >.> and I wasn't trying to impose my desicion on people, just from the things that I've seen happen to my friends and others I know, is that they ended up regretting it because the guy ended up being a total jerk.

I don't put a huge emphasis on the first time at all, I understand it'll be special when I do, but I'm not expecting fireworks and stuff because it's well, virginity. Everyone that's ever lost it will tell you it's not a whole lot of fun. They should really just pay attention to spending an intimate time with their loved one; because that to me is what sex is about.

@ Miss Vampire Is Dead

I had a whole lot of fun I think I was pretty relaxed about the whole thing. I think I would have enjoyed it less if I was trying to make it completely perfect. Me and my ex, we had fun, we loved each other, but we had no expectations of anything long-term. And that was okay. But I still think it was a significant moment in my life.

My views on sex have changed a lot now though. Back then I was in a pretty bad place because I had a pretty bad home life, and sex with certain partners I've had had a lot of "love me, please love me" undertones. Now it's just a fun thing I do a few times a week with my boyfriend. Heh. I don't feel like my views then were a product of my young age though.

@ marina.

Exactly. And it doesn't even have to be perfect. Nothing's perfect.
I know what you mean, I'm sorry about that. Sounds like everything's worked out though =3

I was raised in a conservative Christian family where we were taught to not have sex until we're married. And although I respect those rules and the people who do wait until marriage, I don't know if I'll wait. Of course, I'm not going to have sex until I'm at least eighteen. I know that some people think that anything can happen and I'll change, but I stand very strong on my morals and values. I'm waiting until I'm at least eighteen because I'll be able to think for myself. I want to have sex with the love of my life, not someone that I just meet.

I like to keep tabs on this topic, just because its interesting for me to see the views of everyone, so excuse me for popping in and out of the shadows.

But I feel like people take this topic out of hand a lot. People who haven't had sex convey it as something special and sacred and something you shouldn't do until you know you've found the exact right guy. I don't want to sound like I'm telling you you're wrong, but I feel like no on can ever truly find the right guy. People lose interest, people fade away, people get divorces and people cheat. Maybe you'll get married and stay together till death, but how do you know for sure that was the one true guy you were supposed to be with?

I've only just turned 18 and I've been with 3 guys. Two if which I thought were people I could trust to that level that those would see as these guys being "the one", and the other was a mistake.

Although I'm no longer with either of the two, and even though I'm not completely comfortable with knowing what I've done with the other guy, it doesn't make me feel like I shouldn't have done it. Unless the encounter was out of your control I don't see sex as something one should ever feel bad about. More or less, I feel like its something you can learn from. In all honesty, if you're doing it right it's pretty fun. It feels really good and you create this connection with the person that makes you feel like you really know each other. And of course things may change over time and you may grow apart, but I feel like that's the risk some have to be willing to take when taking that step in a relationship.

I'm a bit cynical at times, so I do believe no one really finds the person that they should be with forever. But I do believe we are all free to have our own opinions on when where and who you choose to have sex with as your first time second time or what ever time. I also feel like teasing those who are still a virgin is stupid, but people telling other people they shouldn't have sex or should not have had sex is also way out of line.

Sex is sex. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, then it doesn't. But its all up to you.

I feel like sex for adults and sex for teenagers are two very different things. In high school, you would generally wait to have sex with your boyfriend for six months, a year, if ever (when I was in school). As an adult, you might fuck the first night. It's a lot more casual the older you get, I think. Depending of course, on the person. But generally speaking.

I know I only recently posted on this, but i wanted to state why I have the beliefs I do. I stand strong on my values because I've seen sex tear people apart. I've personally witnessed two of my former close friends that had sex with guys that were much older than them. Neither of them knew the guy for more than a couple of hours before losing their virginity. It ruined my relationship with both of them because they became almost obsessed with having sex. One of them believed that for that moment she was loved. The other just did it to get it over with.

I don't want to have sex now because I'm young and I have made stupid decisions. I don't want to regret having sex. Sure, it sounds stupid to say I want to be mature and in love, but it's what I stand on. I know that a lot of marriages do end, but my parents are still together. I think it's because of them that I have faith I'll find the one. These are just my beliefs though. I'm definitely not going to tell someone that it's wrong for them to have sex.

@ Answering.Alexandra.
I made a decision to wait until I was out of high school to have sex because I'm the product of teen pregnancy. I don't regret my decision. I was a virgin until I was 20, lost it to a now ex that I loved at the time, and I've done my fair share of bed-hopping since then. Your sex life is yours and you have to make the decisions for it. There is never a one size fits all decision.

I wish more teenagers waited until they were 18 to have sex.

So I only skimmed parts of this, but I noticed that particularly on the first page of this thread, the word "slut" was bandied about a lot. I don't know for sure if this has been addressed yet, but having sex doesn't make someone a slut, it makes them someone who has had sex. I'm not saying 11 year old kids should be having sex, by any means, but it does not make them a "slut". I am a virgin, but I want to paraphrase john green when i say that it is a little ridiculous that our society doesn't have a word for a person who has had sex, our society is based around whether or not someone has sex. Their worth has to do with whether or not they have had sex, and that it not how it should be. The only way we as a society define non-virgins is by labeling them as sluts for their choices. It is unfortunate that teen pregnancy is so common, and it is unfortunate that teenagers don't often wait to give it up, but calling a girl a slut based on how they dress or when they chose to sleep with someone (because yes, I have noticed that this thread is based mostly around teenage girls having sex), is offensive to them, because honestly it is their body and they chose how to treat it.

TL;DR: A relatively lengthy rant about the word slut and its commonplace misuse (at the way I see it).

Only thing I regret is people telling me how special the moment is supposed to be. Don't want to be a Negative Nancy, but it's not really all it's cracked up to be. I don't regret my first time, but it was not at all how I thought it was going to be. I am 18, so I admit I chose to wait a little bit longer, but I know emotions get the best of you and well, c'est la vie. I think if you know you're ready, and you also have an understanding of the consequences that may come afterwards, then it's your choice. I just say be smart about it and make sure it's something you really want, not for someone else's benefit. Know the risks, be prepared. I can't make that call, it's not my place.

@ limetree
I always wonder if people who wait until they're married will be really annoyed on their wedding night when it kinda sucks and hurts and is pretty awkward and uncomfortable.

@ the drupocalypse.

You and me both tee hee :P

@ sicsempertyrannis

I agree completely with everything you said.

I'll admit I'm not a virgin. I gave my virginity to my boyfriend about a year ago. We both love each other and we've been through a lot.

Does that make me a slut? No.

Sure I've gotten into a lot of crap about it because I'm only 16 years old but it's my body. My decision. I don't regret it. We're still together. I'm not naive or stupid.

Just because someone's lost their virginity at a 'young age' doesn't neccessarily make them a slut. Sure if they go around bragging about how many people they've had sex with then that's different.

@ Death The Angel

I definitely agree with you.

There's a fine line between having sex to show off or boast and doing it because you want to.