Self-Injury Ed and Support

Bella-:

After all these years, why am I feeling like this again? I had really thought I had beaten this thing. I really did... What do I do? I feel like I have no one to talk to about any of this...

Self injury can become an addiction. The hormones and such that are released when you're in pain can give a euphoric feeling. That feeling is the high that we become addicted to.

SI, in my experience, flares like a bitch. Relapse is common. I suggest talking to someone close to you when the feeling arises, they may be able to talk you down.

I haven't SI for a while, but when I use to, it was out of anger. When I would angry, I would start shaking. I would punch my legs and arms (sometimes stomach) until I can see a bruise. Then I would feel better. Or, I would just grab a razor or something sharp and just cut my wrists. I have two deep marks still there, but it's getting barely noticeable. Lately, my depression is getting to me and the urges are just getting worse. I can control them, but not until I get angry. That's when shit really hits the fan.

I'm just sick of all of it, you know?

I've been a self-injurer for three years- since sixth grade. My best friend won't let me cut anymore, but I do the punching/slapping/scratching thing when I get really upset.

My boyfriend's been relapsing off and on since I left for two weeks to go to Europe for photography...I blame myself. He had been over a year and a half clear and then when I had no phone, barely any internet and couldn't talk to him much, he cut again and didn't tell me until a week after i got back. Since then he's been fighting it but I'm so scared, especially since he's been left home alone all night because his parents are in the movie biz and are filming all nights. The last time that happened he almost killed himself two and a half years ago.

He gets so scary when he starts relapsing. He gets all stiff, and zones out, shaking because he doesn't want to hurt himself. He stops breathing too. When I'm around when he starts to relapse I try to help but I don't know how...Does anyone have any advice? Before he stopped the first time there was none of this...if he wanted to cut he would cut. None of this shaking and zoning and I don't know what to do but keep him close and make sure he doesn't scratch himself...

Hi, Im Sarah,
I am a SI<3 I am Bipolar and suffer from major depression. I have tried many times to stop. My last clean streak lasted 4months, but unfortunately, I had a moment of weakness:/ My only real supporter who advocates a positivie change for me is my boyfriend. So if theres anyone on here who needs support, or maybe just someone who can understand, fell free to message me<3 I may not know you, but I really do care. I think, for te time being, Ive lost hope. I dont think Ill be trying to abstaine anymore... at least not for a while. Ive been addicted for a years now, its become a huge part of me.

I am officially one month clean :D
and its the best feeling ever, x

Zakuhree Jaymz:

Then what are you saying it is other than a coping mechanism?

I didn't say it was something besides a coping mechanism and that I don't agree with you, it just seemed to me that you were saying it as if it were nothing when it isn't. My interpretation, sorry if it offended you.

I have cycles of quitting and cutting. I also hit myself for punishment, which I've done since I was very little. =./

I've been a cutter since I was 16, and it's slowed down alot...the last time I cut was about 5 months ago, but I can't say I would never do it again, because I know if put in the right situation and mindset I would.

Delia.:

My boyfriend's been relapsing off and on since I left for two weeks to go to Europe for photography...I blame myself. He had been over a year and a half clear and then when I had no phone, barely any internet and couldn't talk to him much, he cut again and didn't tell me until a week after i got back. Since then he's been fighting it but I'm so scared, especially since he's been left home alone all night because his parents are in the movie biz and are filming all nights. The last time that happened he almost killed himself two and a half years ago.

He gets so scary when he starts relapsing. He gets all stiff, and zones out, shaking because he doesn't want to hurt himself. He stops breathing too. When I'm around when he starts to relapse I try to help but I don't know how...Does anyone have any advice? Before he stopped the first time there was none of this...if he wanted to cut he would cut. None of this shaking and zoning and I don't know what to do but keep him close and make sure he doesn't scratch himself...

Aww, I'm sorry to hear about all this :( I know it must be really scary and upsetting to know he's relapsing when you're overseas and can't be there for him, but you shouldn't blame yourself... even if his missing you is part of what made him upset, his coping techniques are NOT your fault. Does he have any friends that he can talk to about this stuff, or could look out for him when he's going through all this if you can't be around? I know you want to be there for him whenever he needs you (and I would too, if it were my boyfriend), but unfortunately that's not always possible, and you shouldn't have to be constantly worried or feeling guilty for doing what you need or even want to do on your own

Best of luck to you and your boyfriend... I'm sorry, but I forget what you said your name was. Could you remind me please? :) (I'm Leanne, by the way, we've chatted some in the LGBT thread, I believe :D)

I haven't cut or drawn blood since February. (: It's because of my current boyfriend's support. I promised him I wouldn't cut. I have given myself some pretty nasty bruises now and then and when I'm frustrated I often get the urge to cut myself, but I know that feeling of desparation is only temporary so I fight it off. (: If I feel awful I talk to my boyfriend and he tries to make me feel better. I'll cry, let it out, and vent and he deals with it brilliantly. It's wonderful to find someone so amazing to deal with you and help you manage your own problems. Whether it be a friend or a lover or a family member it's pretty damn amazing to have such strong support. <3

It's been two years, but I don't know how much longer I can go. I don't know any other way to get these nasty, horrible emotions out of my body. When I cut, everything releases and I can continue. Now I can't stop crying. I don't even know why I'm crying half the time. I have no release. Can anyone recommend something that will actually help?

No walks. It's winter here. I can't go for a drive because I don't have a car. I'm pretty much confined to my apartment when I'm not working.

^ Drawing? You don't even have to draw anything. When I wanted to cut, I used to make a line really hard on a piece of paper until my pen went through the page and it tore, then I drew another line until everything was out. I guess I cut the paper instead of cutting myself.

I first started self-harm when I was 10 years old, and the last brush I had with it was 11 months ago at age 16

It saddens me to think that there are people out there in the same position as I was as a kid and that the people around them will also fail to help them

It's a subject that people don't want to think about, it's almost a taboo and that makes it so much harder for people to get help when they need it

I really wish I didn't consider cutting again when bad things happen. My life is going to shit and that's the only thing I can think of that'll make the pain ease. I'm fighting it, though.

dreamsforplans:

I really wish I didn't consider cutting again when bad things happen. My life is going to shit and that's the only thing I can think of that'll make the pain ease. I'm fighting it, though.

Snap :/

I went back to cutting recently. Not as bad as I used to years ago, but nonetheless. It started when me and my boyfriend split, and hasn't stopped. At the moment, it's like a comfort thing, and I don't want to stop it.

I've battled with SI before and I'm still dealing with it. All I can say is that you definitely are not alone and that I hope people stop getting sucked into this. It's horrible, destructive and makes everything worse in the long run. If anyone ever needs someone to talk to I am here for ya. I really wish people would stop stereotyping/glamorizing SI. It's going to be really fricken' hard but we can do this!

I've got scars on my thighs and my legs from SI and I'm ashamed of them. It's something I've been doing for years and I still struggle with it. I'm proud to say it's been at least a month since I've last done it.

I don't know if anyone else has this problem or if it's just me. For a couple of months I had been fine. I hadn't hurt myself or anything. Then emotionally things started to go down hill and whenever I saw my thigh I saw the faded scars. I don't know why but it bothered me to see nothing there. I ended up doing it again, every time I do it I always feel ashamed of myself. I've been trying, I really have, but the urge to do it is almost always in the back of my mind.

modern mariah.:

I've got scars on my thighs and my legs from SI and I'm ashamed of them. It's something I've been doing for years and I still struggle with it. I'm proud to say it's been at least a month since I've last done it.

I don't know if anyone else has this problem or if it's just me. For a couple of months I had been fine. I hadn't hurt myself or anything. Then emotionally things started to go down hill and whenever I saw my thigh I saw the faded scars. I don't know why but it bothered me to see nothing there. I ended up doing it again, every time I do it I always feel ashamed of myself. I've been trying, I really have, but the urge to do it is almost always in the back of my mind.

I've been self harming for the last 4 years, and I've noticed that I've got a similar problem. If my scars fade and I haven't cut in a while, I just immediately want to do it, and I feel much better when I see scars on my wrists and arms. It's hard to get out of the cycle, but for the last few months I've been having CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and it's been helping a lot. It doesn't stop me from cutting, but just talking openly about your habits and looking at them objectively honestly does help to consider why you're doing it, and how harmful and irrational it is. I'm still a long way to fully recovering, but seeking help was one of the best things I've ever done. Now nobody expects me to stop completely all of a sudden, but I've definitely been self harming less, and it's been good having support, but without the pressure to stop.

I know it's easier said than done, but telling people that could help me was the best decision I made, and talking about it really helps