Rules For Your Unborn Child

-Don't act spoiled or entitled. Understand my reasons if I tell you no.
-I will not defend you if you're caught bullying or harassing others. Treat others how you want to be treated.
-Do what you can around the house when you can (you'll thank me when you're older).
-Explore your passions and possibilities as much as you can when you're young.
-I will trust you, unless I have evidence to believe otherwise.
-Don't be scared to ask questions. More harm could come from not knowing the answer.
-Don't be judgmental. Yes, it's human for us to do so, but don't let it impact your behaviour towards others, and always consider the other side to the story.
-Should you do something stupid, I won't blame pop culture or celebrities for your choices or my negligence to teach you better.
-Sex is not something to be vilified. Just don't engage in it unless you trust your partner; and even then, don't do it until you fully understand the potential consequences, and what you can do to protect yourself.
-I don't care how you identify; just look at your mother and I.
-I will always support what you want in life, as long as you don't harm anyone.
-I may not be your best friend, but I will NEVER be your worst enemy.

Remember to at least go to school.

When out zombie hunting, ALWAYS aim for the head.

Dear my future baby (if you exist),

Here are some things I want you to know:

1. I won’t be perfect. I used to think that mothers should be. But I know they aren’t. Please don’t blame me too harshly. And please let’s stay close.

2. Do whatever interests you. I will try my best to support you. It’s not just a “phase”. If it interests you, then it’s important to you in that moment. Don’t be afraid to be yourself, because Mommy will always love you.

3. If you are depressed, please tell me so that we can get you help. I’ll try my best to spot it if your mood shifts, but if I can’t easily detect if it has, than I want you to be honest with me. If you are having a hard time adjusting or if one day you feel like you’re on the outs, than I will do everything I can to make sure you’re feeling safe and happy again. Don’t be afraid to be honest with me.

4. Much like number 2, I will love you no matter what. No matter how you turn out, no matter what you look like, no matter anything. I hope you love me, too. <3

1. If you support Celtic or Rangers, I'm disowning you.
2. If you support Borussia Dortmund, not only will I disown you but I will also put you in the wheelie bin.

Be you, sweetie <3