Serious Mental Ilnesses

I recently gathered every ounce of courage I have in me to go and see a doc about my problems after years of delaying and trying to avoid what has always been there. It was embarrassing to face this and admit how weak I am, but I think it's something you seriously need to do ASAP if you really think you could be suffering from a mental health illness because I regret not having gone sooner. Just shove your stubbornness, your doubt and your pride out of the window. You do deserve help.

I really respect you all for going to get help for these illnesses, they make life so challenging and isolating.

I haven't been diagnosed yet as far as I'm aware but I was referred to a counsellor, am going to speak to a student life advisor and have been given a leaflet on anti-depressants.

It's just so, so difficult to approach a doctor and ask for help; my anxiety flared up when I was speaking with the doctor and it was one of the most awkward moments in my life. But I can already feel a slight sense of relief, because I want to fix this problem now. It's eating me up and there are only three ways to deal with it - tried one, wouldn't do the other because of the guilt and seeking help is the third. I am unable to function properly in workplace or study, I know now, so this really is the only option for me.

I'm just so confused right now and could really use the support. Having anxiety and depression is so wishy-washy...I prefer the calm, empty disposition that depression gives rather than the horrible feelings of anxiety. Exhausting is an understatement and my increased stress levels have seriously heightened my anger.

Um when I was in the hospital I,was diagnosed and undiagnosed with a lot of things but good advice my psychiatrist gave is "its not what you "have" that matters, just if the medication helps". I've had severe panic attacks every day before, I'd drop on the ground when I,get home from high school and breathe panicked until I fade into exhaustion. I was paranoid. I thought my frensh class was evil and that aliens were trying to get inside my head. I had go,fight them a lot. It led to a lot of exhaustion. I had terrible anxiety too. I woke up in the morning with my heart clenched in anxiety for no reason. When I had caffiene the delusions were worse. I escaped often, to a corner of my school eih concrete steps and lay at the top "floor". I would look up at the lights and know it was god. I felt so much guilt so much guilt for having panic attacks in front of friends. I didn't know if they were disgusted or afraid. People sometimes turned into exact copies but alien. When I hears my mother yawn I wanted to punch her. I often imagined flipping table over violently and screaming. I had agoraphobia so bad I didn't go to one of my classes for two months. I need to vent because I would hide so much, to appear strong. One day I decided I will commit suicide but my friends saw me walking and we ended up relaxing and chilling in the forest. I felt saved. Going to the hospital changed my life. I gained incredible life skills and good medication. I function incredibly well now. My grades aren't too good but I try my hardest. In over a year since being on my good meds, I only panicked a couple times. I feel so lucky.

ignore this, sorry.