Funny School Moments

Today, we had our CAHSEE exam in the mathematics. Our proctor was a teacher who I've never talked to, but is apparently pretty weird. Anyway, she has a really thick Russian accent, and the first thing she said to us this morning, at eight o'clock, was:

"Now, we're not going to separate the girlss from ze boyss (that's how she pronounced it, with an elongated 's' sound at the end of each) today becausse zere's no reason for eet. Howevair, I do noot vant to see you acting like Parees Heeltonss some player off ze street. Undairstood?"

It was epic. It was one of those "you have to have been there to get it" moments. XD

This so counts.

So, I was watching Newsnight last night and look who came on!



That's Mark Brown, my Drama, Film and Theatre teacher.

I lol'd.

*In Math Class*
Me: -Coughs-
Math teacher: Bless you.
Me: ... I was coughing.
Math teacher: Well, they both sounded the same.
Me: -Facepalms-

*Homeroom*
Me: -Coughs again-
Natalia: ...That was a sneeze, right?
Me: WHY DOES EVERYONE MISTAKE MY COUGH FOR A SNEEZE?!

*History class*
History teacher: -Hits a foot inch ruler on the desk behind me-
Me: -Jumps- Holy...
*Class starts laughing at me and Mr. Barta pats my back*

*Math class again...*
Math teacher: I just take the air back from the people that annoy me by suffocating them.
Me: Wouldn't you be charged for murder then?
Math teacher: ...-Doesn't say anything but chuckles at my reply at his joke-

*Lunch*
Bernese: This is the right way to eat it. :D
Me: Thank you, Captain OBVIOUS.
Jena: -Starts cracking up-

*Lunch and voting on who's better looking, the mop or Chris*
Math teacher: Now who's better looking, the mop or Chris? -Points to the mop-
Mostly everyone: ... The mop.
Chris: ... Oh come on!

*Math class*
Chris: Hey, I have something to say!
Everyone: *Looks at Chris*
Chris: ... I forgot.
*Silence*
Me: -Laughs-

In seventh period, I made a grill.
I was 'illin. And people were jealous.

(In art class)
Mrs. Price: So while you have your three-day weekend, start thinking about what you want to do for your sculpture -
Me: We have a three day weekend? (keep in mind that this was the day before the three-day weekend. I was just finding out)
People start laughing.
Mrs. Price: *smiles evilly, but laughs* *in a baby-talking voice* Yes, Kelly. And you were gonna come to school anyway, weren't you?
Me: *giddy* Yeah!

And today in English, my teacher was giving us pointers on how to create a presentable PowerPoint Presentation. For an example Powepoint, she asked the class for a band name. I casually said, "The Gaslight Anthem," since they're my favorite band and nobody else was saying anything, and we ended up using that as the example. One slide she put the members of the band, with my help of course, and every other nameI had to tell her she was spelling it wrong. It totally made my day. xD

Its spring at the moment, and my enterprise class is right by the field. We always have loads of bugs come into the room, and usually all the girly girls freak out. The lads in our class are all 'macho' and think they're all tough, and the other day everybody creased laughing because of this one boy.

A lady bug had fallen onto his work, and so he started to shake his peice of paper everywhere, and making really strange noises. Mrs. Lowe decided to help him by trying to put the lady bug into the hall way, but when she touched its back it started to fly around and then flew into his hair. He jumped, screamed and then frantically tried to shake it out of his hair, and his face went bright red as he saw us all practically die of laughter...

Yeah, it was funnier if you were there :P

We were supposed to be working in pairs, but there were four girls all gossiping together, and my English teacher goes "Are you having a foursome?!"
She never did get why everybody in the class was laughing.

My friend and I did a project for To Kill A Mockingbird, the Radley tree knot hole, and we made it out of brownies and some fondant shit that tastes like sugar. Anyway, our teacher graded it in class, so I started handing out pieces afterwards. There was about a pound or two of brownies left over, so I took my friend's tin that she used to bring in cake and scooped it all in. The period ended and I just walked out of the room screaming, "Free brownies! Anybody want free brownies!" I was bombarded.



And one instance in science class, my friend Brittany wouldn't stop talking. My science teacher loves to take points off of classwork when you don't listen to him, so he said, "Minus 5, Brittany." She still wouldn't stop talking, so he said, "Minus 5," again. Then she was like, "But Mr. Williams-" and he said, "Minus 5, again." Then she got really angry and was like, "What are you taking points off of anyway?"

We had STAR Testing last week and had the biology part of the test. Once our entire bio class was done, a group of friends who all sat close to where I am started talking about some random stuff. Apparently someone said the words, "male stripper" and...

Chrissy: "I heard something like male strippers in Sean's room."
Bio Teacher (from across the room, still collecting the tests): "There's male strippers in Sean's room?"
Sean: "Of course. 'Cause you know I am one myself."

*The teacher then had the image of Sean doing a strip tease.*

Bio Teacher *very mentally scarred*: "NOOOOOO!!!!" *overdramatic*

He explained to us that he saw a Conan O'Brian episode where there was a part with a male stripper in a leprechaun outfit. And since Sean is sometimes called a leprechaun in the class since he's Irish and has ginger hair and pretty short, the image totally came up in his head. And then a couple days later, he decided give revenge by photoshoping Sean's face to the leprechaun stripper's body and have everyone else on Facebook as mentally scarred as him.

That class in general has the best moments in school. The teacher's just too damn fun.

My writing teacher is an older lady, and God bless her, she is not up with today's slang, so she'll say this stuff that can be construed as sexual, and not even realize it. Then she looks confused while we all die laughing. Just last week she was talking about the "Tea Baggers" having their parties. She meant the Tea Party people.

Then one time, she kept going on about how our writing needed have THRUST! Thrust, thrust, thrust! I nearly died.

And then she made us read this paper (out loud! in class!) that talked about theater configurations, and one of the examples said "imagine a tongue thrusting into the center of the auditorium.

I nearly died again.

Friday, when all the seniors were in the auditorium for a meeting, someone blew up a condom and starting throwing it around the room.

In Business a few weeks back, this happened:
Lawrence: -pulls Conor's underwear from bag and throws across the room- You might want these back!
Conor: -swipes underwear and hides immediately- WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE? O___o
Lawrence: Oh, I went through your drawers.

It was incredible, in front of the entire class and the teacher too.

And then in Science a few days later, with Conor again:
Conor: -leaves phone on desk and wanders of to talk to Brett-
Ellis: -looks at me- Jesus, he's so stupid. Steal it!
Me: -picks up phone and gives it to Ellis, who puts it in his pocket-
Conor:- comes back and sits back down, starts watching movie Miss E is showing-
Ellis: -carries on with work like nothing's happened-
five minutes later...
Conor: Savannah, where's my phone gone? D:
Ellis: -cracks up and gives him it back.-

He wanted to check his hair in the screen.

And again with him in Business:
Conor: Abby, Savannah, what's a digital camera?
Beth: Seriously?
George: Oh my God, Conor, you're such a moron.

That boy is too funny.

*In Math class once again..
Student teaching the class going over homework 'cause Mr. M is letting kids go up and do the problems for once. *
Jeffrey: Ms. Destinee, what is 4a times 9?
Gus: Thirty-si-
Jeffrey: I said, Ms. Destinee.
Me: Uh... thirty-six.
Jeffrey: What? I can't hear you!
Me: -Sighs and raises my voice- Thirty-six! Can you hear me now?!
Jeffrey:
Class: *Laughter*

... Well. It may not seem funny, but you had to be there. It was, indeed funny.

These four words pretty much sum it up:

That's what she said.

*History class while Mr. B is talking about career day choices.*

Mr B: And then there's construction where you work with your hands, something I'm not good at. Does that surprise you, Destinee?
Me: No.
Mr. B: Aw, now you've hurt my feelings! Oh well.

*Math class*
Me: -While putting my stuff away I hit my knuckles on the shelf- Ow!
Mr. M: Destinee, what'd you do to my poor shelf?!
Me: I hurt myself, and you're worried about some object that can't even feel anything at all!?
Mr. M: Yes.
Class: *Laughter*

*Music class*
Girl (Whose name I can't remember): -Raises hand- Mr. K! Can I go to the restroom?
Mr. K: No, go next year!
Girl:
Mr. K: -Sighs- Fine. Fill out your agenda.

*English class*
Zach: -Making kissing faces at me*
Mrs. R: We know you want to kiss Destinee, Zach but control your hormones!
Me: What?!
Class: -Laughter-
Me: -Sulks in seat, hiding my face-

Today, I presented a project on Switzerland in class. I was going over a couple of my tourist destinations, which were the Sherlock Holmes Museum and Reichenbach Falls in Meirengen.

A guy in my class then asks, "Was Sherlock Holmes a real person?"

...this is after I mention Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

There's a funny moment everyday in my school and I love it.
Two the funniest though, even though they are disasters were when my gudiance consulers car blew up in he parking lot. Also when my schools roof blew off from a huge storm and like went everywhere and school was closed for a while. It was great.

My chemistry teacher said, "Hang on for a few secs."
But it came out as sex. It made no sense but because he said sex everyone bursted out laughing.

We were in the new Chemistry lab and it has this really fancy design with glass panels, and halfway through the lesson a pigeon smacked into one of the panels. You had to be there.