Funny School Moments

Back during US History, there was this one day we had just been discussing gay people (because, according to my teacher, towards the end of the year everything I mentioned in class was about gay people... I swear, it's just a coincidence, I totally wasn't preparing myself for a summer writing slashfest or anything ), and then went on to women's rights because we were covering the sixties.

My teacher was talking about how women protested by going on "strikes", like not cooking or cleaning for the hubbies, and one boy asked:

Is that why some guys go gay? because they didn't want to deal with the women?

I kid you not.

My teacher was so appalled, he didn't know whether to crack up or chew the kid out.

This happened in Science class about 3 months ago and i was sitting next to my friend Noah (she's a girl) and she's on of those random kinda girls and we were drawing the female reproductive system. Anyway at first we were all shounting and talking then by the end we were totally quiet by this time Noah hadn't realized that we'd all gone quiet and asked?

"Do you guys like my vagina?" meaning the thing she'd drawn the whole class heard and we allcracked up so badly, and our teacher Dr Gilbert didn't know where to look.

It was epic!!!

My US History teacher hates the phrase 'That's what's up."

Now we all say it.

choir class.

Sopranos and altos: -singing- Joy to the world, the lord is come, let Earth receive her ki--- -fire alarm goes off.-
Girl: I didn't know that was in the song!

Since we've just began and are still meeting our teachers, we've been having to do those things where you say your name and 3 facts about yourself.

Girl: I have eight brothers.
Teacher: Eight brothers?! Do your parents not have a television?!

Jacinta: -falls off big ball thing)
Me: "Had a nice trip?"
Jacinta: "Yep. See you next Fall!"

Jacinta fell into a pond at 4th grade camp.

Nic: MATT WANTS TO HUMP YOU.
Me: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWH

One of my classmates was running for Student Council President. To gain votes, she gave out cookies. One of my friends hadn't eaten breakfast (he never does), and thus asked for five cookies throughout the day. Now he begs her for cookies every day. Cookie is his new nickname. And the three of us sit together in almost every class, thanks to alphabetical seating. As soon as she sits down, he asks for a cookie. Every time. It's hilarious.

She won for Presedent. The cookies worked.

While in my Basic Foods class:
Dequea: Man, that's a big necklace you have on.
Mrs. Koscis: Yeah, I 'em big.
Dequea/James/Christian/Me:
Mrs. Koscis: Necklaces. I like big necklaces.
I adore that teacher.

When my maths teacher decided to cover for our Sex Ed Class and was telling us about how to have sex. And being really graphic about it, "Yeah, and you put your dick in the vagina, don't just shove it in there like it's a toilet, 'cause you might damage some inner ... etc" and being totally unashamed about it. And ALL the teachers - including the head, who was bright red by that point - were there. And the class was just cracking up.

And then at the end of the class, he made a "recommendation" to us girls to get familiar with our vagina and put a mirror to see what it was like. And possible touch it to see how it "functioned". It was freakin' hilarious XD.

The other day in my Politics lesson our teacher (Who is also head of the Sixth Form) tried to type in 'Chief Whip' on Google but instead typed in 'Cheip Whip' and got all these links to websites for S&M gear.

We were all killing ourselves laughing at this point.

One of my friends just accidently stole a history textbook. He insists he put it in his backpack by mistake. I'm not sure I believe him...

My Spanish teacher is fucking hilarious.

Mr. A: Get out your homework!
Class: We didn't have any.
Mr. A: What? Yes you did.
Class: No, you ran out of time before you could give it to us.
Mr. A: Ha! That's what she said. Anyway, it was going to be on directions and how to get around in Spain.
Jordan: Well that's gay.
Mr. A: *laughs* Well just for that I'm going to make it fifty times gayer.
Class: *explodes with laughter*

-

Me: MR. A IT'S HOTTER THAN A RAPED APE IN HERE!
Mr. A: . . . .Is that some sort of Texas thing?
Me: . . .No. People here say it all of the time.
Mr. A: Keep on thinking that, Texas. Keep thinking that as you imagine how hot a raped ape is.

-

Mr. A: Hola, coma es- why does it smell like tobacco in here?
Class: What?
Mr. A: IT SMELLS LIKE TOBACCO! Like, what you put in a hookah.
Me: *only one who knows what a hookah is so I explain*
Kid: YOU HAVE A BONG?!
Mr. A: IT'S NOT A BONG! There's nothing wrong with having a hookah. I have one. I smoked it last night, actually.

We have these runners - usually a year seven or eight - come around to every class and the teacher signs off on a sheet to say who hasn't rocked up to class. This was in Webpage.

-runner knocks on door-
Alex: WHO KEEPS KNOCKING ON THE DOOR, OH MY GOD.
Me: [answering door] Tis a small child!
Alex: LET'S EAT THE SMALL CHILD!
Teacher: Did you just say eat the small child?
Alex: WELL WHAT ELSE ARE WE GOING TO DO WITH IT.
About a half hour later...
-runner knocks on door-
Alex: [answering door] Hey, didn't I eat you?
Runner: You wish.
Teacher: You have to stop being so mean to them.
Alex: But they're so small and defenseless! ...Hey, you should put that on that website.
Another twenty minutes later...
-another runner knocks on the door, a different one this time-
Alex: WHAT IS UP WITH YOU RUNNERS TODAY.
Runner: Is this a year eight class or year nine?"
Me: Year nine and ten.
Alex: A bit o' both.
Me: Yeah, year nine and ten.
-runner leaves without closing the door behind him-
Alex: GEEZ, THANKS FOR CLOSING THE DOOR. YOU KNOW, THAT WAS SO CONSIDERATE. THANKS, KID.
-Alex goes up and tries to ninja-kick the door shut, only to miss and somehow get his foot stuck in the back of a chair and almost faceplant-
Alex: 'Sall good. ...Hey, you should put this on that website too!
Me: For the love of god, why must I exist.

...Alex is very loud, hence the caps.

When my French teacher totally went off on this obnoxious dude in class. It was so hilarious. What's even better is that, after she yelled at him for being a rude person and told him to shut up, it got so quiet and my friend just yelled out, "Go, Mrs. Higgs!"
It lightened the mood a little bit. Lol.

Also, when everyone burst out laughing at something I said. One of my friends likes to call her best friends "rude" names. Lol. It's so funny. She'll come up to me and say, "Hey whore." and smile. :D
We were having a "name-calling" battle, and I just randomly said "Oh yeah? Well, how about I come over there and kiss your ass?!"
I suppose it was hilarious, because everyone at the lunch table almost pissed themselves.

1. When our teacher started drawing spongebob on the whiteboard.
2. When a seventhgrader suddenly walked into the classroom, apologizing for being late and everyone stares at her as she realizes she just walked into the wrong classroom.
3. When we created the sentence "We broke a pig" and "he found a cat in the cheese" during english class.
4. When I had forgotten to turn off the sound on my cell phone and suddenly, two minutes before we end the lesson, it starts shouting the phonesignal: "I KNOW A SONG THAT'S GONNA ANNOY YOU"

I was in English class and my teacher was giving examples of genre and she decided to use Romance as the example one. Here's what happened:

Mrs Edwards: Romance is usually between a man and a woman, there is usually tragedy involved in it, it's usually uses lovey-dovey language.
Class: *stares*
Mrs Edwards: Has anyone here read romance fiction?
Class: *continues to stare*
Mrs E: Come on, someone has to of read it.
Class: *still staring*
Me: *raises hand slowly*
Mrs E: There we go! It followed those basic points didn't it?
Me: Yeah, mostly, except it was, uh,
Mrs E: What?
Me: It was, uh, gay.
Class: *Starts staring at me*
Mrs E: Um, okay, I'm, uh.
Class:
Mrs E: *laughs awkwardly*
Me: *hides face*

I was, of course, referring to the fan fiction I read on this site.

Then there was this time that Elisha was getting a piggy back from Fon and Fon had two cans of spray in hair dye, one in yellow and one in red, in her back pockets. Hayley attacked Fon and Elisha, dragged 'Lisha off of Fon and ended up sending 'Lisha's foot flying into one of the cans making it fly out of Fon's pocket and it, uh, exploded slightly.

We all started freaking out and throwing it at each other which meant that our hands and clothes were getting stained, we ended up staining the grass in some places as well, we threw the can down the hill and it landed on the tarmac path down by the trees.

After the can finally stopped exploding, (if you have seen this happen it is the best thing in the world whilst being slightly terrifying, it looks like a smoke bomb), and we ran down to see it and picked it up. We had also managed to dye the tarmac, that was when we realised that it was red dye and it looked like we had killed someone.

We threw the can into a bin then we saw the head mistress and the depute walking on the path so we all stood closely together on the tarmac we managed to stain which was right by a tree, we stood there for something like five minutes for the teachers, I'm not sure what happened when they walked past but I think they were probably freaked out by these thirteen year olds all standing round a tree stained red.

It's kind of a "you had to be there" moment, but god was it funny.

Aha, I have a few from my friend's college music classes.

In sight-singing class:
Professor: Okay, I'll play the piano, you sing the scale. Bach!
Students sing.
Professor: Chopin!
Students keep singing
Professor: STRAVINSKY! *starts slamming hands on the piano*

In piano lab:
Professor: Okay, how many steps are these notes apart?
Friend: Four white keys.
Professor: Correct... can you say it more musically:
Friend: *doesn't miss a beat and sings* MOVE IT UP FOUR KEEE-EEEEYS!

Well my entire physics class since day 1 has had a funny moment but some that stick out are,

*Mr. R grabs on to the faucets on one of the tables and jumps into the sink*
Heather: Oh hey what'cha doing there?
*Mr. R just moves one of the ceiling tiles and pulls out a hammer tied to a rope tied to the ceiling*
Heather: Okay cause that's totally normal.

*After watching mythbusters it starts shwoing a different myth about exploding breast implants and Mr. R turns off the computer*
Paige: Oh why can't we watch that one?
Mr. R: No were not going to watch one about exploding breast implants
Paige: Why not?
Mr. R: I'm gonna go with it is not neccessary to watch about exploding breast implants.

*Mr. R has been trying for 3 or 4 times to charge a metal rod with PVC but the rod keeps falling of the hangers*
Mr. R: *Rod rolls off desk* DAMMIT! Oops. (Mumbling to himself)
Hmm what if I do this then put it on the hanger? Oh good job R*********.

He was so proud of himself.

In english:
*Reading Macbeth*
Mrs. M: She doesn't actually want to be a man, she's not asking to grow a penis or have reconstructive surgery here guys!

Today in Politics was funny.

Mr Finnegan: Okay next question, explain the three types of whip and no I don't mean the dodgy pervy whip types the Conservatives get up to on the weekend.
All five of us: *Laughing*

Yesterday, during Cinderella auditions, my younger friend Wesley was reading for Lionel.

Wes: "Come on, let's go slip into something less comfortable." Wait... what? That's awkward.
Mrs. Thorsen: No, not awkward at all! You're going to help him change clothing!