Back when I was with my boyfriend last year, I was unable to have sex because the pain, for some reason, was unbearable and I didn't know why. I didn't tell many people and I insisted that my boyfriend didn't tell any of his guys mates, which left them guessing about our sex life. All he would say is that we hadn't had sex. However, once we'd been together a while, people kept asking
why we weren't having sex, and whether I was 'frigid' or whether I was being stubborn. It really got to me because it just felt like everybody was having it and yet I couldn't, and yet it was somehow 'expected' of me. I cried like a baby every time it didn't work because I was so sick of it. Even the "Are you having safe sex?" posters around college got to me because I just felt so
abnormal.
When it finally worked, I was so happy, and a part of me hates that. A part of me hates the fact that I had to give into peer pressure and feel 'normal' in order to be happy. I just couldn't deal with the fact that I was doing things differently to everybody else.
I see a few of my friends nowadays feeling the pressure of not having a boyfriend or being virgins and it breaks my heart because I know exactly how they felt and yet I can't offer any inspirational advice about how to cope with it because I
didn't cope.
If peer pressure was a person, I'd stab it in the neck.