holli.sullivan.sykes / Comments

lmfao thank you so much for all your comments! the last one I read was on my profile saying you're craving some Kiss Me Like You Mean It action, and I was just like, "yeah I'm craving some action too..." lmfao but thank you again for all your support! I love you and will most certainly try to update it soon! and in return, I ask that you also update Walking Boy because I miss it ^_^ ♥

awww thank you so much! I really appreciate all your comments :) I'm actually about to go update it again! I just wanted to respond to everyone first haha

hahaha right?! shit always gets real at some point

aww holli, thank you so much! you always make me feel like such a rockstar haha ♥ please please please do me a favor though and UPDATE THE WALKING BOY. I legit log onto here like every other day to see if it's in my subscriptions. like I don't even check comments - I just click the Mibba link in my favorites and then subscriptions and then sulk when I don't see The Walking Boy lol

thank you for your support so much though! I'm hanging in there and such. I just need to stop using, but I'm not giving up no matter how many relapses I have - so that's a good start, I think :)

how's life been??

ahh I'm so glad I got to see your comment! I'm actually home now cause I left the halfway house and relapsed for a day, but your comment made me so happy because I really am trying. so it made me feel better haha but yeah, meth is a tough one. I don't think it's as physically addictive as heroin, but trying to kick that shit sucks. I went through a phase where I was abusing a lot of Adderall and was doing like 200mg of it a day, and when I finally stopped I had like such bad headaches and shit. street meth is so much more concentrated than Adderall or any prescriptions, so I can only imagine how shitty it is to try and kick.

I totally get your spot too with your friends. I've been on both sides of the fence - not hanging out with someone because I'm using and people not hanging out with me because I'm not. it sucks, but I can honestly tell you you're better off without them. it's hard especially because you probably love them since they were your friends at one point, but addicts just end up dragging you down. you can only be there for them when they're ready, otherwise they'll just fuck your life up because that's what I do to people, and that's what people have done to me.

how are you otherwise though??

You're welcome :)
I understand that, I have an urge to write and an idea, but I just can't seem to work it out...lol

omg you always make me feel so awesome every time you talk about my stories!

but seriously dude I totally get you. I was the absolute same way! now I've just done so much dumb shit that I'm like, "if it hasn't happened yet I doubt it's gonna happen ever." like I've put myself in some pretty sketchy, stupid situations lol

I'll figure out how to update though, I'm sure! because Kiss Me Like You Mean It is already written, it'll be a lot easier. but as a drug addict, manipulation is my forte lololol

and dude this halfway house is six MONTHS not even six weeks! I was talking to my mom and was like explaining how when I'm not using Mibba becomes my addiction, and I'm just like super bummed that I'm not gonna be able to write or anything :( the only time you get to use the computer there is if you type up your Step Work (which I don't do cause then I can only work on it at certain times, and I enjoy the freedom of being able to handwrite it whenever I want) or if you're looking for a job, and when you're doing Step Work they have the Internet off and when you're looking for a job they're like breathing down your neck. maybe I'll be able to convince my sponsor to let me use her laptop just to update once in a while though cause I do get to go out, so we'll see haha I am excited to go though cause I'm excited to finally give up heroin for good dude. I'm such a fuckface when I'm using, and I fucking hate it.

hahaha omg I love Tom too. once I get back to updating Seemingly Aesthetic he's gonna actually be a really big character in it. so I'll definitely let you know once I do finally get back to that story now that I know you're such a Tom fan!

also I never knew you moved to the United States! I used to be the same way though about like being paranoid and stuff. back when I had a Myspace I always had my location as "making your mom say, Yemen" cause I was like, "PEOPLE WILL KILL ME IF THEY KNOW I LIVE IN NEW JERSEY. I'LL GET RAPED." but like the fear was real dude, I was legitimately convinced I was gonna die if I had it any other way lol when did you move to the US though?? (in not a creepy way hahaha)

I totally responded to your comment on my story before checking the one on my profile, my bad haha but I'm glad to hear you're doing well! I definitely hope you do update your stories ASAP though because The Walking Boy is like one of my all-time favorite stories ever, like not even just fanfiction on websites - I mean among like my favorite books and stuff ♥ ♥ ♥

Holli, I fucking love your comments on my stories. Every single one makes me feel so awesome haha I'll be going back to a six-month program in like a week or two though unfortunately :( it's not a rehab though - it's a halfway house. I don't know if you have those in Ireland, but it's basically like you live there but you get drug tested and everything. It's basically a transitioning place for like when you first get out of rehab and are trying to get used to outside life, so they take you to Narcotics / Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and you have to get a job, etc. I just don't get Internet or a phone or anything, so I'm still debating if I should just post the whole story of Kiss Me Like You Mean It cause I finished it so Idk haha anyway how are you??

and thank you for always commenting on all of my stories too! it really motivates me :)

oh hey, sorry I'm an asshole that responds with the consistency of a Victoria's Secret semi-annual sale.

but anyway, I'll definitely have to check out your Matt Nicholls fanfic! I love him. and I'm glad everything has been going well for you and hope it still is :) how are you now??

haha well I'd rather have one and not the other than neither. my motivation level is like ZERO. how are you though??

omg holli, you need to go see them again! they're so fucking epic. I was doing the math in my head yesterday morning before I started getting ready, and it was legit my sixth time. I told my dad, and he was like, "I wish I knew that before I bought the tickets - I would've told you to give some other poor bastard a chance to see them." lol it was hilarious. but omg they're so perfect, holli, OH MY GAWD ♥ enough fangirling though haha anyway, I'm so jealous that you're motivated dude - I'm like the laziest bastard ever -______-

damn, that's crazy! I wish I had that kind of motivation haha but good luck on the new job! I hope it goes well :) I'm doing pretty awesome! I'm seeing Bring Me The Horizon with my dad tomorrow night, so I'm like super fucking stoked dude haha

you're really gonna be great, don't worry <3 that sounds so awesome though! working with drug addiction is gonna be such a learning experience. I honestly believe the Narcotics Anonymous program has so much to offer, even to non-addicts. how are you otherwise??

haha well I'm glad I can help! and that's so awesome that you're going to work at a rehab - that's so awesome. I think you're gonna be great at it :)

aww, thank you so much! I actually am home now, so I'm looking to update Glass Cutter and post a one shot pretty soon :) and take it from me, jail isn't fun lol I spent one night when I got arrested my last time and was there for like sixteen hours - DETOXING OFF HEROIN, mind you - and they didn't feed me or give me water or anything. not to be gross 'cause this might be tmi, but when you're detoxing off dope you get really bad diarrhea cause you get constipated when you're using so it just like allllll comes out when you finally stop. so anyway, I'm in this fucking jail cell throwing up into a cardboard box and I legit almost shat myself because the one guard was like, "you don't need to go to the bathroom. you can hold it." and then finally I started crying and was like, "seriously, I'm gonna shit myself. I'm coming off heroin, you have no idea." omg holli, it was fucking awful. DON'T BREAK THE LAW, DUDE lol

oh gosh, holli, I'm so sorry it's taken me like forever and a day to respond to you! as you know, shit's been a little crazy haha but thank you so much for all your support!

and I'm sorry I've never spoken to you about what's been going on with me. to sum it up I started using heroin around August of 2013, and then my life just completely like turned upside down. I got arrested like five times in a matter of five months, for one lol I just kept getting into trouble though and eventually had to go to rehab to try and stay out of jail. thank God all the counties that have charges against me have given me probation. four out of five charges have been settled (I'm going to court for the last one on October 7th), so I just have probation for a loooong time and I lost my license for a year - which sucks, but I was looking at ten years jail time otherwise so I'm over it haha I'm doing much better now though! I'll be celebrating sixty consecutive days clean on the 4th, and that's the longest I've ever had off dope so yayy! I'm super excited to just be alive dude.

thank you again so much for everything though! I seriously can't even express like how happy I get when I log onto Mibba and see that I have comments and people that care ♥