november rain; / Comments

You and me both, Ally. I hate it here in Texas. :T

Haha, I don't think you complain.

Oh, come on, you can't say something like that... Anyones problem will always be a problem. No matter who has it worse. It's all the same. There is no use saying that someone in Pakistan has it much worse than I so I have to stop complaining. That isn't the way it works. All that does is play at your guilt and makes you feel worse. A PROBLEM IS A PROBLEM.

I'm sorry ):

Well, the kind of slash I've been thinking about, it's not [i]sex[/i] slash. It's just two guys falling in love.
Is that weird, or stupid? xD


<3Samm

could i request...an ncis tiva layout??

Of course. Lol.
Okay, yaoi is cute. Regardless if its hardcore, even though most of the time its softcore. Haha.
Of courseeee.
I'm sorry your life is "wehjfsodujauwegjrsdvuwejgsdvc" :(
I'm here, as you already know.

Sadly, yes. All the hype made Death Note not so great. Now there is fangirls that foam at the mouth when they see Light or anyone cosplaying as him. Like its such a big deal. Lul.
Durarara!! is just amazing in general, you got some blood, and comedy and violence and a great plot to pull it all together.
Yep yep. C:

If its all the same, we were more than that. He was more of a soul mate for me. Everything he said was just.... I don't even want to think about it.
Eh, it's not as great as everyone says. Don't get your hopes up. LOL.
A better anime to watch would be Durarara!
Yeah, it took me years to get used to the fact that no one really truly cared, but when I talked to people like you and my close friends, all that changed.
I'm less of a shell of cynicism that I used to be.
I mean set aside a few goals to take on at a time. For instance, start on the overdue homework then go from there once you compete that.

Ah. I see.
Yeah, my parents aren't really nice about James for the simple fact that he was a total trouble maker and apparently he was no good for me. Like cared. He was the closest thing to a friend that I had at that point in time. No one really accepted me for being a very big bitch about mostly everything. He looked completely past that because he was the exact same way.
In a way, that is true. I like how you worded that. Hah.
Thanks. I got it from an anime called Death Note. I was apparently a chocoholic at a young age to my friends. :U
Yeah, that will tend to happen. Now a days people don't really care anymore. Which sucks but I have gotten used to that. Being the person I am that is.
Hah, if I could cook for you I totally would. Hell, I would even make you your very own safety first cook book. LOL.
Just try making a small work schedule to start and then add on as you progress. Its easy if you really work at it.
Aw. Thanks. I mean, talking to you like this is just my way of saying thank you for being my friend.

heyy and over here its all cool to be homosexual. wats up?

I read it all, and it did make sense. LOL. I understand what you're feeling and I know sometimes you look at the car that's about to pass and you wonder if everything will get better if you just walked in front of it at the last moment. Trust me, I've tried to kill myself (I took a whole hand full of sleeping pills) but all that did was land me in a heap of shit with my mum and three therapy sessions a week. I know it was completely selfish of me but that night I was just so annoyed at the world because my closest friend passed away in a car accident, my parents were being assholes about it, and my family didn't care if I died. I mean, of course they probably would but the grieving... I would say would last about a year and everyone would forget about me.
Now, at this moment in time I still think about that night and how my mum found me apparently foaming at the mouth and passed out on my bathroom floor. The next thing I know I am at the hospital getting ready to get my stomach pumped. And that is not fun. But then I was a very emotional person. I didn't want to live on if my best friend wasn't going to be there to support me. But then I realized that he was always in my heart as corny as that sounds. I loved him with all of my heart and soul and I'd give anything to have him back but killing myself won't fix anything. It actually burned a few bridges and I could not build them back up.
You can call me Em, Emerald, or Mello. It doesn't matter. Haha.
Let me tell you that I feel the exact same way, the feeling of loneliness is terrifying for me, and I depend too much on my best friends for everything and in a sense I feel like I'm hurting them with the sometimes cynical statements I respond with but I cannot help it. I've always seen everything as black or white. No real in between. I've been that way since I was a child. Always so happy but beneath that smile was a deep hatred towards stupidity, ignorance, and dishonesty. I may not come off as that type of person if you were to meet me in reality but then again, no one will ever be as they presents themselves.
Honey, cooking and cleaning is not that difficult. All you would need is practice. How do you think a famous chef gets where he is? He isn't automatically an awesome cook, he practices. As for cleaning, just remember "Is this how my mum would like the room?" or "I don't like the way this looks, maybe I should scrub a little more."
Now, academically inclination is great. You already know what to do, and that's great. Maybe you're just getting lazy because its almost the end of the year and such? All you would probably need is to create a work schedule. Maybe that might work. Ex. An hour for mathematics, thirty minutes for History, two hours for English Literature or some such. Just keep up with it.
A never ending cycle might seem endless, but only if you think that way. It's the placebo affect. Thinking that way for a long period of time will keep your mind in that sort of trance... If thats what you want to call it.
A few things you should never forget is that 1. Everyone is a liar, regardless if you can tell or not. Every human being at one point in their life span has told a lie. 2. In one way or another people will contradict themselves. So, you aren't the only one. Hell, I'm preaching my advice to you and sometimes I don't listen to half the stuff I say. "Oh, suicide is bad." That's only because I've been through that experience. It isn't fun.
For your friends, I see what you mean. Sometimes it feels like they're just leaving you behind. And the fact that you don't like being alone makes everything worse. But, I'm still here. I know it might not be 24/7 like we'd both like but I'm still here. Regardless of the distance. I'm an actual human being that has been through a lot and I know what your going through is tough but you have someone here for you. Someone who is willing to be there for you at two in the morning when your friends are asleep. Don't forget that either.
Thanks. Being gold is fun. :D

i am sooo sorry! i haven't been on mibba is such a long time! life got really crazy really fast...and now it's all just slowed down a bit, which is lovely.
in response to your last comment...yeah not too much is new. a few little problems with the male species, but i'm good other than that :P you?

My dear, I truly understand what you're going through. I feel that way as well. My friends certainly haven't left me just yet but I have lost a few and in June I might be losing one more. I understand that it's difficult to keep a relationship intact when two or more people are so far apart but take our friendship for example, I'm not always here to talk but when I am, I try my best to help you in whatever way I can. You're a very good person Ally (If I may call you that) and I certainly don't think you're a failure. Certainly you've fallen into a rut and I understand that. But it's no reason to put yourself down that way. Everyone goes through rough patches in their life, it's just the way that person handles it. That's what all that pain and sadness surmounts to. You have to learn that you're not always going to have the people you care about around, and you have to try to be more independent and correct what you think is wrong, that is if you're willing to. You can't just sit around all day and feel like that, because what that does to you is it kills you slowly. You become a shell of a person when you think that you won't amount to anything. YOU MOST DEFINITELY CAN.
What's going on with your friend, I can also relate because one of my friends is doing the same to me. I feel bad for "overreacting" but in a sense its good to feel that way, it shows that the way you feel about this person is valid and the other person might be a good friend to you too you just don't want to see them both go on with out you. But, trust me, if you mean anything to them, they won't let that happen.

You know I'm here for you, dear. Don't hesitate to message if something is up, you know that.
I just hate to see anyone, especially you feeling like that.

Because I like your poetry.

Lul. Thanks? I dunno, coding isn't really easy for the most part and most of the time I'm so picky with what I'm making that it really takes FOREVER to make a single layout. Hell yeah you're awesome at coding. At least, I think so.

I don't think you're fail. You have a successful layout website, you have friends, your good in school (I presume). I mean, I don't know you irl but I don't see you as a failure. No one fails until they quit or die... As weird as that sounds.

Lul. Thanks again. I'm alright at coding but not as awesome as you. I just changed colors and sizes. OH AND YOU ARE NO FAILURE.

:p
What're you talking about. I love it. C:
I think I don't really like the picture as much. There's so much blue...
Regardless, I really like it. I might just take off the photo and make the background black.
Plain is good too, right?
Anyway, thank you a lot. I really appreciate you making this for me.

Loving the new profile

My throat hurts too >.<

I [i]really[/i] hope I'm not getting sick...I've already missed too much school.

Hmmm...I'm thinking of writing a new kind of story, a kind that I've never tried to write before, and I'd like to run a couple ideas by you, just to see if it's stupid or not. You like slash, right? :3

<3Samm

I like my crisps alone, b/c I don't like to mix foods :L but I always seem to end up eating the most food out of my mates.

yeah I most of the time hide from peopel I know in shops 'cause I generally turn up looking like crap and I don't feel like dealing with them. but I'm going into town today and I'm looking forward to it. gonna hit up the music stores :P

I should probably add that Johnny Seward and Patrick Stump are on my obsessions list too, I love them <3 German's pronounced a lot like the way Scots speak so I've got it pretty easy, but French is really delicate and I have the voice of a gruff old man.

PS: beautiful layout :3 I love the comment box!

Mmmm, I'm alright, just stressed, as usual :3

US is not THAT serious but there are consequences and choices. so if you wanna robb a bank or run of ur pregnant best friend then be ready to do the time and me too. i'm also socially awkward

No, please. If you want to talk about it you can. <3