Raison D'etre / Comments

:) It's fine, I understand. I've just been a little...er, since schools started. Alot of Keaton drama, Dylan drama... I'm begging my mom to send me off somewhere, where I can actually bring myself to LEARN. No luck.

Why'd hungergames make you mad? I've started reading it. So far, I'm not completely hooked, but then I again my heart belongs to Inkheart right now. Have you read it?
Tomarrow we have an improve thing in Drama... I'm a little nervous, but right now I'm just kind of like...I don't care if I have to play a space panda (Our school play is about space pandas... -_-'), as long as I'm one step closer to my letter.

Home is dull. I can't seem to write ANYTHING. I'm addicted to The Sims. And, I've been considering charging my friends for having me help them with Comp. & Lit. I could make a pretty good fortune. OH! I've began collecting old books. I guess my dad inherited HUNDREDS of them before I was born, and sold them all except for a German bible from 1886. So, that is the beginning of a rather small collection.

Hey, hun. Just wanted to see if you were still, you know, alive?

THANK YOU! For the comment. :D I'm so happy you like my story that much. <3

:'( School starts Wednesday for us. What about you? I've been completely depressed lately, and I'm pretty sure this is why. No more freedom, haha. I've recently discovered I like freedom. I think I may want to travel, too. Which is really weird, for me. My family is totally homely, and a tad bit hermity.

Ooooh, guess what? I got....a HAIRCUT! Haha, which is a big deal, because I have.... BANGS!!! And I look HOT!!! Hahaha, I'm really giddy. But I do love my hair, now. No split ends (I'm known for mine), BANGS, It's no longer a complete frizzy mess but still has some charming curls. =D. This year, I look more like a girl than ever.

The book sounds really intriging. He actually falls for the murderer?! That's crazy... Romantic, in a way, but still a little crazy. I don't read many nonfiction books, either. The last one I read was The Holocaust Chronicles. I've been going through a WW2 craze.

Okay, favorite childrens story? As lame as it may sound, I still love little kid books. Mainly the classics, though.

The summery for AM is...what's the word? Hm... I think it's alot easier to understand, for one, and it gives a better view of what IS to come in the story. I really do think you should try to start writing it. I understand sometimes it takes awhile to be READY for your story, but it does help to practice. Sometimes, whenever I just don't know how to write something out, or I think I'm going to make it into something it isn't, I write a randome chapter. Not the beginning, or the end, but somewhere in between.

I don't know, maybe it could help, sometime?

:O . ANASTASIA!!! Haha, that is one of my overall favorite movies...Ever. The story behind it is just about as miraculous. The Romanov's totally fastinated me, and it's because of them I plan on going to Russia someday. But I haven't seen The Dark Knight. Isn't is a Batman movie?

Chapter nine of Building Humans is up!

Ulg, it was long anyways... Haha, sorry, I just kept typing and typing and typing...

But, yeah. Dylan makes me want to pull a Three Stooges on him, and Keaton frustrates me so much. But, I've decided to stay away from him for now. He needs to get himself together, and I kind of do, too.

Question; What is your favorite NON-fantasy book?

Another Question; Remember when you were telling me I should include a scene from Masquerade, to help Draco remember? Could you possibly tell me what you had in mind? I'm going blank, again.

Haha, I kept this one short. :D

Haha, of course you're on my friends list. You're one of the people I'm closest to on Mibba, you silly goose. But, again, I'm thinking about changing the profile. It takes too long to load on dial-up, and plus it's kind of messy and hard to find everything.

Yeah, haha, it was a fun night. Ohh, did I tell you about Keaton and Dylan (Don't know if I ever mentioned him... But, if not, I spent three years of my life being best friends with him -Have you notice a pattern with all my guy friends? Ulg. Anyways, after three years of beign friends with this insanely cute, funny guy I was totally okay with being more than, and he was too, at first. Then after a long story, which I'd be happy to share, we kissed, and stuff, and he started being a total jerk, refused to talk to me, and when he did he was always yelling.

Anyways, I still haven't forgave him. After that, I was uberly messed up, I actually ended up having to go to weekly meetings with the couciler, and she suggested therapy. Family life was also pretty bad at the time, as was school. But, Keaton and Dylan came over last week, while my bestie (who hates Dylan, and is iffy about Keaton, because he isn't mentally stable at the moment) and I were hanging out. Well, she was actually trying to leave, because it was late, but when they showed up in my front lawn she refused to leave me. They started talking, Dylan being a complete jerkhole, and Keaton agreeing with amlmost eveyrthing he said. Then some fireworks started, because the local baseball team won, and we all just sat there and watched, quietly. Keaton would be staring at me, grinning, and I smiled back, and all that.

Then, after more of Keaton and Dylan being jerkish, to the point where every time they spoke I grimaced, and Bethey scowled, she was ready to leave. She told me I should go inside, and started to get in her car, when Dylan asked her for a hug. She refused, and Keaton asked, as to which she refused again. Then, they turned to me. It was easy telling Dylan I wouldn't hug him if his life depended on it, but with Keaton I had some trouble saying no. And, whenever I did, his expression... :( He looked just about as hurt as he did the night we fought. Then, he covered it up. Just as quickly as the hurt spread out across his face, he was sneering, or scowling, or whatever, and yelling, "Why- F-you! I don't want a hug, anyways!" And, after a few seconds of Dylan backing him up, they were storming across the lawn, back to his grandparents.

Beth and I were both upset, so we hopped in her car and drove to the one place that calms us down. The park. We swang for a good ten minutes, I called her boyfriend and talked about some things, we headed back to my house. It didn't look like they were still over at his grandparents, so we just sat around on, and near, her car, still talking to her boyfriend. then, all the sudden Keaton was literally DASHING over towards me. Like, literally, running as fast as he could. I started to ask him what he was doing, but he cut me off with a, "Why the hell wouldn't you give me a hug? What did I do?"

So, I scolded him for bringing Dylan over, because he knows how I feel about him, and then he said Dylan walked over all by himself, yada yada. Then, he said, "Dylan is my best friend. He has been ever since I moved here, and that isn't going to change any time soon. So, you have to be nice to him." And for some reason, that just kind of broke me... Keaton hated Dylan, more than anything. Keaton was always trying to be like Dylan, he was jealous of Dylan, he despised Dylan because of how screwed up that boy made me... We were a trio, us three, until Dylan pulled his crap. Then it was me and Keaton. And now, it's Dylan and Keaton, with Kaitlyn off to the side... Dylan seemed to appear out of no where, and Keaton whispered for me to apologize and give him the hug he had asked for. I didn't apologize, or say anything, I just gave him a hug. He was slow, but whenever he put his arms around me, it was nothing but a hug. Not a good one, not the reasurring ones he used to give me, it wasn't anything but a hug. Then, I pulled away, and Keaton gave me a hug. It was completely different, and I hate that I noticed. It wasn't careful, or awkward, like the hug Mark gave me the day before. It was two seconds longer than it should have been, it was just different.

As you can tell, I was all out of juice. I didn't want to argue, or care. I just wanted Dylan to go away, Beth to go home, and Keaton to stop whatever it is he does to me. So, Dylan started asking me why I hated him (Uh, seriously? It was a little obvious), but Keaton refused, and started commenting on how skinny I had gotten, and all that. Suck up. But, we ignored him, and I calmly explained that I didn't like him because he was an utter doushe, and that was all. He agreed, and Beth again said she was leaving, and told me that I HAD to go inside. Appearently she had explained the entire situation to my parents, and they werent too pleased with the boys. She left, and I said goodbye, letting them hug me. But they didn't leave. Keaton pointed out, again, how good I looked. I wasn't in the mood for compliments. Normally, I'd blush, grin, and deny it. This time I just took it. Just before they left, Dylan said, "You look good, Kaitlyn."

I just stared at him. Seriously? Haha, "You look good, Kaitlyn." He was trying to make a moment out of nothing, and I didn't take the bait, thankfully. I shook my head, and looked back to Keaton, and said my goodbyes. He gave me my third, "two seconds longer than it should be" hug, and Dylan gave me the "hug" hug. And while I was just about inside, he yelled, "I'm sorry for being a doushe!" And, I was so tuckered out, so I just apologized for me behavior earlier, they chuckled at me word choice... I was tired, and a little jumbled, and probably didn't make much sense. I went inside, and cried a little bit, before thinking I should go with Mark. Keaton isn't good for me...

The next day, and a few days after that, I would meet Mark out on the porch next door. It would always be near midnight, and since no one lived there, it was perfect. The moon would always shine right where we sat, and I would just listen to him go on and on about his day, and I would talk to him the same way I talk to Beth's boyfriend, and a few other guy friends of mine who, although I care about them, I don't care enough to watch what I say. I tried to avoid mentioning Keaton, and I even stumbled over Dylan's name once or twice. Mark asked me if I wanted to go out sometime, and I agreed. It was when he tried to hold my hand that things just didn't feel right. I mean, obviously they didn't from the beginning, but I didn't think about him at all. Whenever I was lying in bed at night, I didn't think about him. I didn't dream about him. I dreamt about Keaton. He was grabbing my hand, and saying, "This isn't right!"

The next day, I told Mark it didn't feel right, and he was relieved. He said he thinks he's still in love with his ex, and I gave him a shoulder to cry on... Oh, Ardyss, what would you do in this situation? Keaton's ruining everything for me, and he doesn't even know it! I dream about him constantly, think about him when I really shouldn't, and I can't even go out on a date without him screwing it up for me. I don't want to deal with him, anymore. I can't talk to Beth about it, or my family... Haha, as you could tell, I think I wrote you a novella up above.

I'm probably just being stupid, though, aren't I? Anyways, back to the actual message.

Haha, yes, I mean the "spin-out" doughnuts, haha. I know, it was crazy! The entire time I was crushing Beth's hand, and screaming at the top of my lungs while her boyfriend laughed at us. To tell the truth, I kind of want to do it again, haha.

Oh! I used to love playing Pokemon, haha! I think it was back when we had a Nintindo 64, haha. How times have changed... But I remember going to the Movie Gallery, and renting Pokemon every week. I used to play Spyro all the time, too. But, I have a tie. I loved Donkey Kong, and Zelda. I honestly can't choose between the two, haha.

If your getting bored then take a break, haha. That's what I do with MM. Much to the annoyance of some, everyone has their good and bad days...or weeks...

I don't think he's a creepy pedo, but I've been mistaken. Haha, yeah, I was with my bestie a few days ago, and when I pointed him out, and told her to watch out, she just about smacked me... Haha, his name is David. They go the the same church, and all that schnaz. But when he started fumbling around with the stuff he was bagging, while watching us scan the magazine racks, she apologized and forced me to go to the other side, so he wouldn't watch us.

Haha, it's fine. You aren't being a creeper. I've looked for Mr. Walmart on Facebook before. I don't have one, so I hijack my sisters, :). Actually, I have a bit of a reputation around my school, and town, for being able to find people easily. Isn't that crazy? It all started with a few boys phone numbers for my boy-crazy friends, and suddenly I'm actually finding addresses, and I've been asked to see if certain people are still in town, to find out whether this guy is cheating on this girl with his ex, and so many other different scenerios. Haha, I'm not nosey, though. I'm just really good at doing my research. Have you tried most social networking sites? Normally those are an easy reference.

I'm normally pretty nice to him, haha. I just don't like when your nice to them a few times, and then they start following you around, and introducing other weird kids to you, who do the same thing. It's a cycle, here.

:( Super sweet cookie dough ice cream is horrible. I'm sorry you had to endure it, haha.

Question; What's the craziest thing you've ever done?

It's okay. I used to think they were boring, too. But the more emersed I got in the series, the more interesting it became, and the eaier it was to ignore all the boring details. Except the first and the second books... I jumped around a bit, :(. The movies pretty much cover everything, though, so you get the gist of it! :)

Yeah, I'd love to check it out, and report back to you what I think, :D

The story idea is definately complex sounding, haha. Your a good writer, so you could probably pull it off either way with the right preperation and insperation.

I didn't plan on Draco being a death eater, or having to really go through and make any rash decisions on it, why?

Ugh. The heat index is 115 degrees, and I was stuck outside, fixing my cousins car while she watched me. I felt good, though. I was sweaty, hot, cranky, sore, and sticky, but I learned all about coolant, and how follow the Escorts complicated hood opening thingy. Haha, this doesn't make much sense, but I'm happy. I think I'd be a good mechanic, haha.

Whoa, this is alot... Haha, sorry. I'm in a write-alot mood.

Heya! Thanks for the comment on my one shot! I'm very glad you liked it :)

Aw, you're right, haha. I totally should have. I made it pretty much my top priority to describe the kiss in my other story. I was just in a rush to get the chapter over with. I'll probably go back later and redo it once I finish up the character list. :)

Shit, sorry. I'm a terrible give-away, so if you ask questions, be prepared. :S

Vampire.

Thank you :)

Haha, and the sad thing is, I have SOOO much more to tell you! Okay, so the 911 thing. It was actually because of the huge fight we had to call the cops. My bestie and I were sleeping outside in a tent, and her neighborhood wasn't exactly the best. The party started at about one in the morning, and the fight broke out about thirty minutes later. They were taking it down the street, towards us, breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads, yelling, cursing, shoving eachother. Bethey, my bestie, got scared so finally we just called the police department and had the sheriff come break it up. We stayed out so late because we were driving past this one guys house repeatedly.... It probably annoyed him, but we saw a bunch of people we didn't like there, so we figured, why not? We blasted 'Like A Virgin', and drove past them in our green mini van over and over again...

You guys don't do donuts? Okay, well, basically it's when you go around in circles while driving. We were over at my bestie's ex-boyfriends house, and he's only 14. He skipped grades. Super smart. Anyways, we all piles into the car, and he started off down the road. Then, all the sudden he turned into a fieled, where the grass was at least two feet high! I about had a heart attack.

:) I'm glad you're proud of me, haha. I'm proud of myself, which probably isn't a good thing. I'm a very proud person by nature.

Hmmm, what's your favorite video game? :)

In the middle of a mall? Geez, the only scene I've ever made in a mall is when we got off the carosel and I threw up over the ticket person. I wouldn't have said sorry, either. You don't apologize for what you mean, but so many people have problems understanding that. Why doesn't she like who you are?

:D I like your new story. It's...different, and very intriging. I'm really interested in what happened to her.

I was walking around Wal-Mart (Whaddya know, the day I don't bother to make myself up, there are ZILLIONS of decent guys from school there... Plus, is it bad for me to have a thing for an older man? Longgg story...I think he's about 25... Works at Wal-Mart, and always comes up and talks to me, and even got in trouble with his manager for messing up his scanning while watching me and my bestie.) and I saw the Hunger Games. I was all, "Hey! Ardyss was reading this!" And my bestie just shook her head, haha. I'm planning on seeing if I can get it from the school library.

Keaton? I thought it was kind of common, haha. Maybe not? It feels weird, now. I don't know, but I've pretty much given up hope for him. And now that Mark likes me (Old bestie, next door neighbor, used to be a total weirdo, but not suddenly seemed...different.) I don't know what to think or do. It's like, I want Keaton, but Mark, I know, wouldn't dare hurt me or keep me up till three in the morning thinking about him. He's my safe choice, if that makes any sense. Maybe I'm only on a bit of a rebound...
Anyways, Mark has been calling me and coming over the last few days. We went for a walk, to the park, and never stopped talking. We had fun at the park, I was witty and he was a little silly, then we went to the ballpark and got up on the roof of the pit, and just laid there... Staring up at the stars, talking. Keaton never did that... I don't know, what do you think I should do?

I agree, he is a poop face. It was about two years ago, though. He had a big crush on me, and was mad because I turned him down... You couldn't have blamed me, though. He has a nose picking problem, and all together it kind of freaked me out...

Cookie dough is ABSOLUTELY the best! :D

Haha, mine would probably be the Harry Potter books. I <3 them. What does <3 mean? Is it a heart, or a kissy face? I've never really understood it, haha.

What story do you want to write? If you aren't into it, why don't you take a little break and wait it out, or something?

That's good. :) I think the story can really go somewhere.

Thanks for the story comment:)

Your profile?! You have a story?! And now you even have a -gasp- FORMSPRING?!

Haha, sheesh, girl. You've been busy. But, I'm still going to check out the new story, and I think I'm excited for you to start writing MA. I read over the summer again (you changed it, didn't you) and now I'm uber curious.

Oh, boy... I knew I wanted to get out, and live, but the last few days have been crazy! I called 911 for the first time, rode a double-bike, stayed out driving around till one in the morning, witnessed a huge fight, did doughnuts in an unlicensed car with an underage driver, ate a mango freezie pop, flirted with guys opening from across the room, and openly expressed my opinions without thinking about the consequences.... And, even though alot of it was a little stupid, I HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE!!!

But, yeah...Hehe...Anything new with you?

Haha, I try not to throw my laptop against walls too often. But I still have no clue whats wrong with it... The speakers, AND the modem are all messed up.

One in the morning? Sheesh, what were you working on? How long were you writing? =D

I went out and got myself Cirque de Freak, :). Well, kind of. My aunt loves the books, and so I borrowed it from her. I'm going to start it as soon as I finish with all my Mibba buisness, and a few chapters of MM and SM.

What's The Hunger Game about?

Haha, for me adrenaline is standing up on a tire swing with a buff person pushing me around. Or staying out later than the town curfew. I didn't know whether you Californian's thought it'd be too hick, :).

Well, I was too young to realize what was really wrong with the situation. And I figure now is too late to give 'em hell. My bestie was pretty peeved about it too, even if she was only five. She didn't speak to my grandma for a month afterwards. But yeah, it was pretty screwy of them.

Keaton and I haven't spoken since I apologized... I mean, he's been next door and all that, and I haven't exactly been at home waiting for him, but still... It feels funny, like something happening that I dont know about, but should. I think I trust my intuition too much. Meanwhile, while I'm kind of just waiting to see what's happening with him, my old bff (pre-Keaton) suddenly realized he liked me, and I just dont know what to do anymore...

I can't blame you, I read Tithe over and over again for the longest time... Actually, I carried it around in a knapsack I used to take everywhere, until a guy started nosing through it and decided it would be fun to try and steal it...

What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?

Question; What series of books could you read over and over without getting sick of?

Sorry for the comment delay, my computer access has been limited lately. Aye, this was a long comment, too.

P.S. Where'd you come up with your username? I'm curious.

:) My bestie was obsessed with him for the longest time, too. Before she discovered The Time Travelers Series, and started reading about Strat. Have you ever read the series? I totally recommend it. One of the best books I've ever read.

I try not to bash things into the wall, but occasionally I have a slip... Seriously, when I'm sleepy, I dont seem to realize what I'm doing, haha. I woke up, saw that my tape had stopped playing, and tried to flip it but the dang cassette part of it wouldn't open.... I guess I got agrivated, but I dont really remember.... I woke up and the cassette part was completely detatched from the actualy stereo, and the radio was on... And I think I've fixed the computer, but the laptop has yet to play music again...

Why are you afraid to work on the things your interested in? I've recently discovered my favorite part of actually WRITING a story is actually all the research, followed by character development... What's yours?

I've heard to much about[i] Cirque du Freak,[/i] I'm going to have to actually read it to understand... I've been in a reading flop... I remember reading part of The Romeo Syndrome, but I forgot to subscribe, and then completely forgot about it! I adored it, though. Haha, thanks for the link! :D

Haha, nah, I was on top of the dam. I have a habit of staying OFF things that have tons of water underneath them, and it drive my parents crazy. I hate walking over bridges... One time, while we were out hiking, back when we used to actually DO things together, my parents thought it would be brilliant to cross over one of the old covered bridges. Dont get my wrong, they're really interesting, and walking through them has always been a little exciting (Remember, I'm a hick, haha. It may sound lame, but for us Missourians it isn't) but after taking one step the boards actually began wobbling, and I saw they weren't even nailed down! They were simply being supported by beams! The creek was flowing underneath, and my parents were over halfway across when they realized I wasn't coming with them... But they wouldn't leave till I came across, and I had to jump rocks below the bridge...

When I was younger I was uber close to drowning at a family friends farm, so that's probably most of the reason I'm terrified now... My grandmother, my two sisters, and my best friend all watched me go out to far when I didn't know how to swim, and my grandma claimed she couldn't save me because she didn't know how to swim... She owns a HUGE pool now, of course. She refused to let my bestie save me, so after about five minutes of my lungs burning, some stranger ended up saving me... Whoa, that was kind of a long explanation...

Aww, =). Well, he and I finally talked. Two weeks exactly, and his little sister came over. I asked her about him, and told her he and I got into a fight ebcause I said a few awful things I didn't mean.... And I explained to her that I wasn't mad with him, really, but with myself for caring enough to miss him. She's little, she asks ALOT of questions. A few minutes later she was running through my house with her phone, claiming her "bubba" wanted to talk to me. I said I didn't mean alot of what I said, and that I was sorry. He was sweet about it, telling me he was going to call me really soon, he was just giving me time to simmer down, and how I had kind of brought him back down to earth, yada yada. We have yet to actually DISCUSS why we said the things we did, and really talk about it, but I feel better... And, he wasn't all jerkish about it. He was with his buddies at the time, and actually stepped back, and listened, and answered seriously... I feel a little funny, though. Did you whenever you and your boyfriend made up?

My favorite fantasy book would probably be... The Neverending Story. It's a classic, and even at fifteen, I absolutely adore it. What's yours?

Boys make me bitter. Point blank.

Haha! I keep trying to imagine people hopping out of the corners in song, and... it's suprisingly easy. But yeah, it would probably be a little annoying. Especially with all the tone deaf people in the world, haha.

Have you ever had a real stalker?

Haha, no worries, I'm no creeper. But thanks, anyways. If I need help, I could at least try asking you, and see if maybe I could get an answer before I really need it. Fortunetly, it's summer, and I dont have to worry about it yet! ;D

True. My parents drink alot, and I dont know whether to take what they say when their drunk seriously, or when their sober. My mother told me she didn't really like me, and that is she could, she would have nothing to do with me... She gets mad at me for taking care of my sisters when she and my father are...indisposed. I'm kind of the one who stands up for us when they say something stupid, and I babysit my parents so that they dont DO anything stupid.

Question; What's one thing you want to accomplish before you die?

Ah, so you're a Joker fan, huh? =)

My computer broke. Can you believe that? And I had written two chapters for MM that I was planning on posting...a few days ago, actually. This month, I have broken the family computer, my blinds, my microwave, my window, my laptop, and the Wii. I didn't like that thing much, but I'm recently realizing how hard it is to live without a microwave... Everything's all old fashion. nd, to top it off, my mom came up with a 'No Stories on the Family Computer' rule. >=[

Yay! You found your muse, =). Anything you plan on posting anytime soon....? I think it's slowly coming back to me, but after losing some chapters, it's always a pain to rewrite everything.

Question; What do you think is the most important part to a novel?

Haha, that's brilliant! It took me a few YEARS to learn to swim... But, I'm uber afraid of deep water... I hyperventalated at a dam once...

:) Well, that definately give me hope. I think it's cute you guys sent eachother things, and called. How did you guys make up?

Haha, I'm bitter when it comes to love, that's for sure... I adored Wuthering Heights so much, I went out and bought the CD to the musical... I like musicals, haha, I don't know why. I'm expecting it any day now. =D

Yeah, my school is a little cliche. But the tutor rumors do go around, as do most of the other rimors that supposidly go around but you never seem to hear...

Dashes. Yeah, that's what I was looking for, haha. Thanks!

Horrible week... Have you ever felt like your there for everyone when they need you, but when you need them their...not. My little cousin called to ask me for some advice (I suck at it, but I guess I help her... She calls me at least three times a day, it seems... Normally around one in the morning), yet when I start talking about my Keaton deal she simply says, "Hmmm...That's interesting." And goes back to talking about all her exes... It's similar to the way my bestie acts. It's like, if I'm not bawling my eyes out when I'm talking to her, then it can't be too important...

Do you think people are more prone to tell the truth when their drunk, or lie?

+ I think that may be a good idea for the story. It'll make it a little longer, plus the plan for the finale would fit in pretty well with it... :) You're brilliant!