An observant slave to automation.

What started out as a game has turned into somewhat of a predicament.Though, I did tell you of it. I asked for help. I bet it could have been prevented somehow, but no. It'll go away. It's nothing, dad had it for a while when he was young, it went away. I told you the medical term for it and you disregarded it, simply said "They just called it anxiety when I was a kid."Obviously it's a bit more...
June 21st, 2010 at 10:49am

Clockwork.

I'm becoming strangely obsessed with how minds work. How people understand things from their point of view and how they grasp reality in a way where it doesn't conflict with that of others, but it's all in their own. I want to understand everything, realize why people do what they do, why they feel what they feel, everything.I suffer. Though I've yet to find my own cure, I have this weird notion...
February 14th, 2010 at 08:40am

Therapists.

So after being curious about the devotion psychotherapists share with their.. patients, I decided to give one a shot. Mind you, it was a volunteer, I received little advice towards the problems that I wanted assistance with.My problem; a loss of reality. A loss of purpose. A feeling of lost emotions swirling around an ever expanding black hole created by my self pity and self destructive...
January 28th, 2010 at 06:00am

Experiencing reality.

As mornings pass by, nights shift over into tiresome days where clouds are the death of me, I feel as though I'm getting a little better. Things are getting better in 'layers', sort of. I've found an anchor for my feelings, she seems to bring me that much closer to the reality that I grew up in, not the one that I've pushed myself into without realizing.Days when I want to stay asleep forever,...
December 30th, 2009 at 09:25pm

An outlook on a rather colourless world.

As of March, my ideas of what it means to be alive have been completely shattered. I find myself questioning the meaning to everything almost constantly. I see no colour in a world filled with crisp, vibrant images. Blue skies, graceful birds, gentle winds. All of this people take for granted. I may not be able to feel the sensations these things bring, but I've found a new appreciation for...
December 19th, 2009 at 11:00am

Do we live in a "follow the leader" type of society?

As much as I'd like to believe everybody has an opinion of their own, this is obviously not the case. Some people see a homeless person on the side of the street and feel bad; sadness that somebody with so many common features as themselves could be living out on the street. While others see this homeless person and feel hatred; as if this person deserves this fate, as if they're meant to be where...
December 19th, 2009 at 08:24am

Sanity.

So, as my sanity begins to slowly slip away I feel myself constantly feeling as though life is extremely short. I know it's short, but.. shorter than it should feel.I find myself thinking 24/7 about what death is like, and how to embrace it. Though, fearing death is not something that I enjoy doing, it's a feeling that gets brought on by the weirdest of things. I had a dream the other night of the...
November 29th, 2009 at 05:10am