Lyra / Comments

@ Indigo Umbrella
You're no more than anybody else in this world. Nobody gets everything right unfortunately, though I wish i could. I'm practically the same age as you and I still don't know how to drive. I don't have the money for lessons, and I can't use my dad's car because it's a taxi, therefore I can't get insured on it :-/

You're right about your parents though, they should have tried harder when it came to helping you doing stuff like driving and going to college. It's a parent's job to help their child do that stuff. Though, driving isn't such a big deal here so a lot people don't learn until they're in their 20s and it's rare for someone in secondary school to have a car. Like, really rare. In my year of 150 girls, only 2 drove in, I think. In my town, not one school would have parking spaces for the pupils as it's basically not a done thing here. Only kids who live way out in the country would have a car. Your frustration is totally understandable when it comes to not getting support. It's hard to take criticism from someone about your life, and them telling you that you're doing things wrong or not trying hard enough, when they won't do anything to help you get on your feet or get the necessities to hone your talent. You have a talent, judging from the picture's you've posted, and your anger is justifiable. And you should remind them that markers/paints etc cost money the next time they ask for something. It's unfair of them to expect you to fork out money for stuff like that, especially when they won't help you out at all. Family is great for asking for stuff, but not so good for giving when someone is in need. You should definitely bring up how going down that path costs money if they comment on it. I know I would. And don't apologise for ranting, we all need to rant! I'm always here if you need to vent!

As for the list, I'm very proud of the long, extensive list. When I was 16, my friends had a song that rhymed my extremely long list, which included Elijah Woods, Orlando Bloom, Alan Rickman, Daniel Radcliffe, Tom Felton, John Cusack, Johnny Depp, Chester Bennington, Mike Shinoda and a whole bunch of others I can't remember. The still remember though, apparently. As you can tell, the list was pre MCR, and it's wwwaaaayyy more extensive more, as I had to discover the men mentioned in my last comment. It gets longer everyday, I think.

Poor thing sounds like she had a hard start to life. That always makes me so sad,poor things don't deserve that. People should take better care of their animals.

I just watched Frozen today, and it's amazing! I loved it so much!

I squeal whenever you mention sequels! *squeals* I just love Bucky sssoooo much. Too much, maybe. Is it possible to love him too much?

I think Loki would have always been a bastard, even if he wasn't evil. He's just got that...asshole vibe, you know? Being an asshole is just an inherent part of his personality, and he'll never be sweet and nice even if he were able to redeem himself. He can't help it, and I don't want him to, either. Hehe. I love how he underestimates her though, but yet he doesn't really let her get a rise from him even when she takes him by surprise. She's awesome, and just his perfect match in that way. I can't wait to read more, their relationship is just awesome, the way the bounce off each other and try to outdo the other. You never really know who'll have the upper hand in the end, and it makes it so much more interesting to read because anything is possible.

@ Lyra
*Whispers* But I am though. Suitor is a nice word. Keep using that. I like it. That is a very good list. I am not bored. All of those men are glorious. Yeah, but we're still young. People just make it seem like everyone has their shit sorted out in their twenties and I just don't think that's the case. At least for those of us who had rough starts. Like me being 27 and still have no idea how to drive a car. I blame my parents for that one. Like I know I should take the blame for a lot of my set-backs because I wasn't more adamant to change them. But at the same time I think if my parents had just done their fucking jobs I wouldn't have the setback to begin with. :/

And I was thinking about this earlier today because I was trying to buy art supplies and I got really pissed because I couldn't afford them. And my family has always been really supportive of my creative hobbies. To an extent. And that's when I got pissed because I've gotten so much heat over the years for throwing my life away and not going to art school like I should have. Or not selling my work. Or not doing this and doing that. And then it hit me that these people weren't very supportive at all. Because where the hell were they when I needed $200 to get into art school? Where were they when I was upset because I couldn't afford Photoshop? Or like right now being out of markers and having no way to afford new ink? Where are those fucking people? Nowhere. But they'll come back in a month or two and complain to me about wasting my life and how I should have gone to art school. Or they'll come around asking me to design them some fucking tattoo or make them a pretty picture to hang on their walls. And if I bring up the fact that none of these people have ever paid me a cent to do any art for them, they'll claim they want it as a Christmas or Birthday gift. Well fuck off. I can't make gifts anymore because I don't even have the supplies to do that with. I can't afford to be an artist. Next time they bitch at me for not going down that path I'm going to remind them that I CAN'T FUCKING AFFORD TO EVEN SET FOOT ON THAT PATH! ldhsgahsdg;ahsdg.

I just ranted, I'm sorry.

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. She was injured when we got her. And the people who found her said they thought her mom got hit by a car. Like she was hiding in some bushes and she had a mouth injury. And I'd never had her around dogs until later when she totally lost it. So I think she had a bad experience.

Yeah, I didn't think so. It's really bad. Lol. Penelope is so cute! X) Haha. Frozen is cute too. Not as cute as Penelope but I love Kristoff. I'm the same way. No worries. I recently bought Thor 2 and the entire LotR trilogy and I have not watched either of them.

Awsldhgah... Poor Bucky. I originally had him say "What if being with the people you love isn't an option?" But I thought that might be too soon since he hasn't known her long. I think the sequel will explore that a lot. Their affection vs. love thing. But I can't go into too much detail yet. :X

See, that's exactly what I wanted with this story! Because it's not that I don't like the fluffy Loki stories. I just don't think that's him. I can see Bucky being fluffy and trying to change because that's who he is deep down inside. He's a good guy who went through some terrible stuff. But Loki, despite all the wrongdoings Odin did to him and everything else he did that lead to him turning malevolent, I think he's still a fucking asshole. I mean, he's goddamn attractive and if he hadn't of gone through some bad shit, he still would be the guy fucking shit up and causing chaos just for the fun of it. He's still sneaky and proud and brilliant and that's not going to change. BUT! I wanted Bridget to be very similar to him in that aspect. I think Bridget was originally a good person. But all of the things that were done to her in the past did turn her into this sneaky chaotic vengeful character that she is. And I wanted her to be just as much of an asshole as Loki. I wanted her to be his match instead of his inferior. And I love playing them out together because he's constantly underestimating her and it's so much fun. :X

@ Indigo Umbrella
And yes, evil Loki is just awesome. It's what makes me love the story so much, he's not at all sorry or repentant. He's still a bastard, and it makes him easier to like in a weird way. Hehehe.

@ Indigo Umbrella

You're not a fuckhead! Never say that about yourself. You're super duper amazing! And I don't know if having high standards is a bad thing or not. It's good to not just settle, you know? Having a certain level of expectancy from a potential suitor (I love that word, don't ask me why) is definitely a good thing. It helps you keep your head on straight, I think. In saying that, I can't see myself falling for someone unless they're Gerard Way, Frank Iero, James McAvoy, Brian Hanner (my new obsession), Michael Fassbender, Sebastian Stan Ryan Gosling. There are others on the list, but I don't want to bore you. I'm sure you get my point lol, I don't think I'll ever figure my shit out though, every time I think I have something happens and it makes me wonder if some of us are just meant to live life without having our shit sorted lol.

Oh, the poor thing. That must have been painful for him. She must have had a bad experience with a dog before, maybe, to bring out that level of aggression. At least you can manage the biting, for the most part anyway.

Thank you, but since I haven't seen it before I wouldn't want the experience ruined on me. Oh, I forgot to watch Penelope, but I will watch it. I also have to watch Frozen, which my ex got for me. I just tend to not watch stuff on my own for some weird reason. I like sitting on a couch and watching stuff, not hiding away in my room and watching it on my laptop because I end up reading stuff on it. (I know, super weird, but I can't help it)

Oh, and I read the last update on Monster and I just thought 'aaaaawwww' when Bucky was like,'What if being with the people you’re told you love is not an option?' and touching her cheek, and I wanted to cry and hug him so much. How do you get my feels all knotted up every time? It's not fair!

I love Loki, even though he's an evil bastard. But I have so many plans for this story if I can just get myself motivated. Ugh. But yeah. Bridget's backstory is kind of sad, but it'll all be explained later. And yes! Parent Loki! ^.^

I forgot again. I'll remind him now!

I know. That's why I think the only guys who ever ask me out are kinda fuck heads. Because they see me being a fuckhead and they think "One of us." Maybe my standards are too high. I'm not complaining. One day I'll get my shit figured out and super hot guy with life figured out will spot me.

Exactly! But it's easier to manage than the dog thing. Because with the biting I can just warn people not to get too close to her face and I can keep my kid away from her. But the dog thing she will never get over. And I thought that would happen with my brother's chihuahua that we were babysitting. And she was fine with him for the first fifteen minutes. And then she backed him into a corner and beat the shit out of him. Hours later we were still plucking broken claws out of his skin.

Oh yay! I tried to watch Atonement online but the video was missing. :( So I found a really shitty version of Cap 2. (I can send you the link if you want but it's really shitty quality and you can't even see Bucky half the time because it's so dark. Plus it cut out the ending.) But I had to watch it anyway for research purposes and I'm glad I did because I FUCKING FORGOT HIS ARM WAS BROKEN! Ugh... so I had to go back and edit some chapters to add that part in.

@ Indigo Umbrella
^-^

Haha, make sure you do!

I feel the same. I look at other people who have their lives figured out, and they're younger than me, and it boggles my mind a little. I want a guy who has his life all sorted, who's mature enough to handle the tough shit, yet I'm so the opposite of all of that.

Ha, I can imagine myself feeling similar if I had kids. It's tough not to think of those things, and worry. You can't life their lives for them, and I think in a way, it's a little worse when it's a son. Like, when he's married, his wife will be the number one woman in his life. Irish mother's tend to molly coddle their sons, keeping them tied to the apron strings and god help any woman who thinks she can replace mommy!

That biting is a tough one. It's not like cats to bite! I wish I knew a piece of advice that would be helpful, but I really don't know. My cats were pretty okay with people, and dogs. Some cats will always be funny with dogs, unless they're introduced at an early age. My cat hated my dog when she first came home with me, but after a few days they got used to each other, so sometimes they can readjust.

I'm so watchign Penelope this weekend! Also, I just saw an ad for a new film of McAvoy's out on dvd, and I'm so gonna watch it!

I'm really wanna watch it. It's bumming me out that I have to wait so long to get my hands on it. I hate waiting!

Aw. Psh. Well thank you. *blushes. kicks feet.*

I WILL! He's taking a nap right now. When he wakes up I'll remind him.

Seriously! That's a good point actually because I used to not like that either. But think of how awesome it would be to be in a relationship with someone who is completely self-reliant and mature. I'm reaching here but man, if I got my hands on a doctor or some shit. Someone who's got his fucking life figured out. Then of course, I'd probably just annoy the shit out of him because I sure as hell haven't got my life figured out.

Dude, seriously. Having a kid was the scariest thing I've ever done and he's five and the fear has not gone away since the day I found out I was pregnant. I had this moment of panic today when I thought about like the future and him having financial trouble (it was a topic in my homework) and me thinking about him having a relationship or even being married and I was just like "I hate that person. I don't even know them yet but whoever he marries. I hate them." And it was weird and I didn't know why I felt like that but just the thought of him being an adult and having a house and a family and coming to me for help just freaked me out. I have no idea how to teach him how to be financially responsible because I don't know how to do that myself. Ugh. And that's just one fear out of many many more troubling fears.

AWWWWW! That's cute but sad. And yeah, it's exactly that. My cat has a lot of issues but she's my family and she depends on me. I'm not going to throw her out on the street to fend for herself just because she got angry and shit on the floor or because she bit someone in the face. I really want to know how to make her stop doing that though. Because a few weeks ago she bit my son for literally no reason. He was just sitting next to me minding his own business and she was on my lap and just chomped into his face and there was blood everywhere. Just god. I don't know what to do about that. And I also want to get a dog someday but she absolutely HATES dogs. Even little puny tiny dogs. She fucking hates them. And attacks them. And I have no idea how to make her get over that. But I'm not going to throw her out on the street just because she hates dogs. Now she's just not allowed to sit too close to my son and... I have no clue what to do about the dog thing.

Heck yeah. That's the way to go. Extra suitcases and a shitton of money to spend.

I forgot to watch it. But I just opened up the video on another tab so I don't forget this time. :D But I love Penelope. It's so cute. And he's so cute in that movie.

Aw. Yeah, I don't know what it is about Idaho but I'm not complaining about it because I've seen a lot of movies that way.

Aw man. My friend has no clue where she watched it and I'm really sad. She said it was really bad quality too. :/ But I still wanted to watch it to try and pick up on things I might have missed. Like I was talking to my husband about it the other day and he mentioned that Sam works with PTSD victims and I totally forgot that part and so I ended up writing it into the story and it ended up working out for the overall plot. I also forgot another important point that will be brought to light later. And just, ugh. I need to watch it again.

@ Indigo Umbrella
I hadn't thought of that either. Not getting any for a while certainly plays a part, and the 40's were a complete different time with different expectations. And it's not overthinking, it's being creative and it's why I love your writing so much. Your characters are well developed and thought out, and it makes them all the more enjoyable to read.

Ah, no way. When it's back up, remind him! Don't let it slide!

Ha, you're right. I wouldn't have the patience to teach someone how to be in a proper relationship. You get to the stage where you've been there, done it and once is enough to go through it. i used to lament not being anybody's first love, but now I realise it's a blessing, and it's much better when a person already has a clue of what relationships entail.

It is scary, and in ways I'm thankful I don't have kids. The worry, the fear, the not being able to sleep if they're not with in and all that stuff, it's tough and my mom always says that it doesn't change. You still worry when they're grown up, even more so actually. You're not in control, they lead their own lives and you can't protect them. The world is a scary place, and they're gonna make mistakes and find themselves in scary situations and there's only so much you can do. All you can do is hope you raise them to be smart enough to know their limits. know when to walk away and when and where to go get help.

Exactly. Animals are a part of a family, and not everybody sees that. I read a post once, and it was something like 'a dog is 15 years of your life, but you're his entire life.' They rely on you, so if you make the decision to get one, remember that to them you are their entire world.

If I do go, I'm making sure I bring at least a thousand with me to spend. And an extra suitcase.

Deal. I'll get it this week and watch it! And Atonement...man, that movie...the feels...and James McAvoy...have some tissues ready.

That's the thing about living in a small country, we wouldn't have the demand for those kinds of things. It's a shame though, discount cinema would be awesome.

I tried finding it the other day, and no luck :( They tend to be bad quality anyway before the DVD release, as they're probably hand held camera jobs. So it's crappy sound and picture quality anyway :/

Yeah, I just figured memory plays a part and he hasn't gotten all of his memories back. But practice also plays a part and he sure as hell hasn't had any of that. Plus his memories did take place back in the 40's. And ladies man or not, I can't imagine there was a lot of uh... skill... involved... in terms of pleasing your partner... back in those days. So I imagine there would definitely be some awkward bits and I didn't want to write those. I mean, it's a fanfiction. I could have just written him completely perfect with no trouble at all but I overthink everything. Hahahaha.

His internet is out. -_-

Yeah for reals. I was like, "Dude, I know your past experience has been at a high school level but I was married for five years you're going to have to do a lot more to win me over than just flex your muscles and talk about children." He had a lot to learn. And I didn't want to be the one to teach him.

That's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard and that scares the crap out of me. I'm not involved in the church but just that there's people like that who exist out there and I have this little boy and I'm so fucking terrified of something bad happening to him. It makes me want to throw up.

Yeah, my cat is a pain in the ass. I love her but she pisses me off 90% of the time. And my step-mom is always telling me to get rid of her. But you don't just get rid of your family because they annoy you. Maybe she does that kind of shit, but I don't.

Me too. It's going to be so fun. We'll need a lot of money for that too because I'll buy a whole damn gift shop.

I don't think I've seen Atonement. But I will have to watch it. BUT OH MY GOD YOU NEED TO WATCH PENELOPE! IT'S LIKE THE CUTEST MOVIE EVER AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH WATCH IT RIGHT NOW OH MY GOD! *Ahem* I'll go watch Atonement too while we're at it. It's true. I understand those feelings completely. He's adorable.

Oh, I see. Yeah, this city is the only place I've ever seen the discount movies. In California they were in the theater for a few weeks and then left. Except for like My Big Fat Greek Wedding. That movie was in the theater for like three months.

I've been trying to find it online but I don't want to search myself because I'll end up getting a bunch of viruses. There's one site in particular that I use a lot but they aren't updating anymore. So Cap 2 won't be on there. :/

@ Indigo Umbrella
That totally makes sense, I hadn't thought of it that way. It's strange, but I suppose after a period of time you do kinda forget the basics, I suppose. It's been so long for me, I forget, and it ain't been through what Buck was through.

Yay! You can do it *gives motivational pat on the back*

Yeah, boys really think they can say what you want to hear and you'll fall into their lap. That might happen to you once, but you never fall for it again. Actions speak louder than a few insincere words.

Tell me about it. I remember watching a documentary, and apparently a priest justified his abuse of young boys by saying that, by touching them and stopping them from doing it to themselves, he was taking their sins away from them, and he as a holy person, was forgiven. He was doing them a favour.

Everybody likes animals that are easy to take care of I suppose. My parents would be similar- they hate having to pick up after animals and look after them, so they just don't have one.

Aaawww, I hope you get to go someday then. You deserve it.

Oh dear lord, Magneto...what perfection. What hotness. What...ugh, words can't justify his appeal, swagger and off the radar hotness.

It was Atonement that did it for me with McAvoy, I never saw Penelope. There's just something about those big, blue eyes, tugable hair and the smile...the things his smile does to me...it should be illegal.

Theatre is different here. Movie comes out, stays in for as long as it's popular in that particular cinema (so, a film like the hobbit can be in for two months in one cinema, and three weeks in another depending on demand) , then it's out. It comes out on dvd about six months after it's released in cinema, so if you miss it in cinema then you just have to wait for the dvd.

Yeah, it just wasn't working for that chapter. I think the characters are in too dark of a point in there lives, and I didn't feel comfortable writing their smut. They did the do. That's all that needs to be known. If the sequel happens the smut might happen then because they'll have grown a lot more and I won't feel as uncomfortable about them doing the things.

Not to mention a lot of it has to do with the fact that Bucky hasn't had sex in the last 70 years (that we know of). So there would have had to be some instruction involved and I felt like the instructions would take away from the feel/mood of the chapter. Hahaha.

I'm going to! *Gets pumped*

For serious.

REALLY! I was done before it even began. I ain't got time for that shit. I have a kid to take care of. Not a little boy to play house with.

Ooooooh. Well that's stupid. -_- Forgiven for their urges. Ugh. *Mumbles*

Yeah. Like she doesn't hate animals. I mean, she keeps getting them. But the only ones that last with her are the ones who take care of themselves. Like they have a cat that they've had for jeez, 5 or 6 years now. And it's pretty much just because the cat does his own thing. He goes outside, hunts, gets into fights, comes back to sleep. That's about it. He never does anything else and so he's easy to take care of and she likes him.

THAT'S WHAT WE WANTED TO DO! We wanted to go to New Zealand for our honeymoon but we knew it would be a while before we could save for it. So we ended up not having a wedding and just did the legal stuff and then never had a wedding or a honeymoon. :/

Hahaha. It was good! I liked it! And yes, his buttocks were splendidly perfect. And yes! I was going back and forth a lot between them because they're both super hot. But then the scene with the pimp swagger and crooked hat and sunglasses and metal calming ball things and I was DONE. Like a fucking turkey. Magneto got me done.

I do love James Mcavoy though. Especially in Penelope. I swear I fall in love with him every single time I watch that movie. He's just adorable and ommigod.

I don't think it's playing here anymore. :( But it will come to the discount movie theater soon. If it's not there already. Like we have three phases of movies here. Bigtime "fresh" theater, slightly less fresh but still kinda fresh discount theater, and super discount almost on DVD theater. So it'll come to one of the not so fresh theaters soon and I'll go watch it. I kinda want to go see Cap 2 again too just for the Bucky. And research purposes. You know. For stuff.

Oh my gosh! I know! I love Bucky so much. That's why I had to write this story because my feels were too much to handle internally.

@ Indigo Umbrella
Sometimes smut doesn't fit though, or at least not graphic smut. Smut is great, but only when it suits the chapter/story, and not for the sake of it.

Haha, get his ass into gear!

That's true here as well, and as you said, you'll drink anyway if you want to, whether you can obtain it legally or not.

Man, that guy was trying too hard. As for the Thor part, that, if nothing else, shows immaturity. I have low tolerance for people who give their kids names that will torment them in later years.

It's to do with 'Original Sin'. Because you're born from a sinful act of lust, you're a product of sin. Baptism cleanses you of the sin and you're reborn. It was also why women had to be blessed before they could re-enter church as I told you earlier. Men didn't, because I assume they're forgiven for given into their urges :/ Now, really it's just the first stage of initiation into a church.

Maybe she felt guilty because she was directly involved in the kitten's death, as opposed to neglecting it or letting it get out where it might survive. At least she's not completely heartless when it comes to animals. And I'm sorry if I brought up bad memories *hugs*

My mom's cousin lives in New Zealand, so one day I'm totally taking advantage of it. If I ever get married, instead of spending money on the ceremony and shit, I'm gonna put the money towards going to New Zealand. It'd be more than worth it.

Oh, how was xmen? Wasn't Hugh Jackman's pert derrière just perfectly amazing? And James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender...*sighs* It's such a good movie, I loved it.

Spiderman is ssooo good, if you get the chance you should totally see it before it leaves the cinema!

Oh, and I read the last chapter of Monster and my feels are all over the place! Poor Bucky!! EEEEEEE!!!!!

^.^

I think I got it figured out. I didn't want to skip all the smut because I do that a lot lately. But I couldn't get myself passed it. So I figure I got the point of the chapter across so there's no need for overly detailed smut. Like it just didn't... fit... with the story. :/ Maybe in the possible sequel there will be some detailed smut scenes. I have a feeling the characters are going to be a bit more... open... about their feelings then.

Hmm. I'll make my husband look into it. I showed him the link and he was like "Okay. Cool." And I was like "Help me dammit!"

I think it's mostly because most 18 year olds are still in high school. And they don't want alcohol around school aged kids. But I don't really care either way because I drank just as much at 18 as I did at 21. The only difference is that I could purchase it myself.

Lol. Exactly! And he was trying to tell me the success rates of people with 9 year age differences and I was like "Stop. Don't do that." Then he tried to win me over by telling me he couldn't wait to have kids. Like since I'm a mom I'm supposed to be attracted to guys who want families. And I was like "Lol. No. That's the last thing I want." And he told me he wanted to name his firstborn son THOR! Then he wanted to know what I thought about that and I was like "Haha. Not with me, you're not." But yeah. There's a big difference, regardless of what people might say. Maybe in ten years a 9 year age difference won't be so bad. But that's because 29 year olds are much more responsible than a fresh out of high school kid who wants to name his firstborn child FUCKING THOR!

To be honest, I have no clue either. I thought she was like another face of the virgin Mary but I've been told she's not. I have no clue. Oh, I see. Well that's good about the babies. Poor babies. I still don't get why they'd have to baptize children though. *does confused hand gesture*

I just love animals in general. And it sucked being me living in that kind of household. Because I was ALWAYS bringing home stray animals. And it sucks when you're trying to nurse a litter of abandoned kittens back to health and you've got people who just want to toss them out on the street without a care in the world. She killed one of my kittens once. But I didn't bring that up because she didn't mean to and she felt really really terrible about it. She still does. But I don't know if it's a animal love guilt, or if she just feels bad because of how horrible that experience was for me and how even talking about it now makes me fucking cry.

Hahaha! Oh my god! I am exactly the same! I was obsessed with LotR in high school and I can practically recite the whole damn trilogy. I need to read them again too but I think my copies are in storage. I only have the Hobbit here. But anyway, yes! New Zealand would be radical.

I heard bad things about the HP theme park from people. But I still don't care. I'm going and I'm going to fucking enjoy it. My husband wants to start planning the trip and I was like "We're going to have to save a lot of money because I'm going to want to buy EVERYTHING!" I will seriously go in full Hogwarts uniform. I don't care. No one can rain on my parade. I'm going to buy one of each and every thing they offer and I will not regret it.

I know. I'm excited. It'll be a few years before we know for sure though. But still. I'll die of joy. And yeah, Cap 2 is seriously that good. It's amazing. I can't say it's better than LotR or Harry Potter because those are in the number one place (alongside Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) but it's definitely moving up there. I watched Cap 1 last night and cried like a little baby because of my feelings. But still. I'm trying to find where I can watch Cap 2 online. One of my friends did, but she never gave me the link. -_- And my brother wants to go see X-Men today! So yay!

I still haven't seen Spiderman though. :(

@ Indigo Umbrella
You're welcome. Steve is just so wonderful <3

I hope you figure out how to get the chapter the way you want it soon. I'm dying to start reading it!

You'd be surprised, honestly. Lots of people buy self published e-books now, there's a real market for it.

That's what I never got about setting the alcohol age limit to 21. I mean, on the one hand at 18 you are a legally responsible adult because you're old enough to know the difference between right and wrong, and as such you are free and trusted to make your own decisions. Except for drinking alcohol, of course. You can get married, have a family, and a mortgage at 18 but for some reason you're not responsible enough to consume alcohol. It's ridiculous.

There is a difference between acknowledging attractiveness and being attracted to someone. They're not one in the same. And age is a factor too. I was otu with my friends Saturday night, and for the first time in over 18 months, actually closer to 2 years, I had a guy hit on me. He was cute, and he bought me a drink. I asked him how old he was, and he was only 20! I was like 'oh my god'. It's strange, but there's a big different between someone close to thirty and someone who is barely 20. At our age, we've gone through stuff, and probably have a completely different outlook and attitude. He was nice, but there's no way I would go out with a guy that much younger than me. I did kiss him though, 'cause he bought me a jagerbomb. But yeah, him getting pissy at you just shows his immaturity. He has to learn how to take rejection, gracefully and learn he's not entitled to anything from the opposite sex.

I have no idea what Guadelupe is I'm afraid. I think every Catholicism is different in terms of attitude. For example, Irish Catholicism was all about priests and nuns being in control, and a huge emphasis on 'keeping up with the Jones's' and being seen as a good, Catholic family. It also used to be more a a politic statement, to disassociate with the UK. Catholicism was associated with being Irish, and a Republican (in the Irish sense of the word, which is someone who believes that the island should be one country under the Irish government's rule instead of a Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland divide with two separate governments). We really emphasised our differences, in terms of views on contraception and divorce and all that stuff which is more acceptable in the Anglican religion.

They don't believe that anymore though. Like, some babies are born stillborn, or die minutes after death, so they've changed it that babies go to heaven. So, it really doesn't make sense anymore.

Man, that's pretty bad. My parents hate cats, and refused to let me take my cats with me when I moved home. I was really upset, but they didn't care. I don't understand how you can't love animals, especially ones that are domesticated.

I LOVE Lord of the Rings. I spent the summer after I turned 14 reading those books, and those movies made up my early teenage years, along with Harry Potter. That's how me and my friends bonded, really. We were obsessed with them. I used to be able to say Gladrials introduction of the Fellowship movie in Elvish and English, and also Legolas's argument with Aragorn in Two Towers. Man, I should reread those books soon. But yeah, those movies made me want to go to New Zealand. *sighs*

Oh, my parent's are talking about going to Florida next year, and if I'm working I'm totally going with them. I need to go to the Harry Potter theme park.

Oooohhhh, that sounds wonderful! I hope it's true! Though, nothing can trump Lord of the Rings and Star Wars. Those movies will always be my favourites. As well as The Dark Knight Batman trilogy. I'm waiting for Captain American 2 to be released on DVD. Your story has got me all revved up for it!. I hope I won't be waiting too much longer :/

I love Steve omg. Well that's good then. Because that means you'll like his story. Lol. Hopefully. He's a sweetie pie. And Bucky comes back soon. He's sort of skittish in the beginning. Thank you. ^.^

I hope so!

Lol. It's not easy.

I'm still having trouble with those chapters. Ugh. Like I know exactly what I want to happen but when I write it it just comes out like "He did this. I said this. The end." And I can't get myself out of that. Gah!

Yeah, that's true. I just don't think anything will sell. Like I don't know. I think just people who know me (like maybe readers and my family) will be the ones buying. And I don't really want my family to buy my work. Hahahahaha. At least not unless I got on a best sellers list and could be like "Suck it, bitch! Said I'd never amount to anything."

There should. Like on the plus side, you can gamble at 18 but you can't drink until 21. So like 18 year olds can't go to Las Vegas (and gamble anyway) So that always kind of sucks. But at the same time no one really wants to gamble sober. I don't really like gambling anyway so it makes no difference to me. I just know that it's the alcohol laws here that are keeping that casino from generating money.

Yeah, it makes a huge difference. And idk. Maybe just because I'm older but there's so much of a difference between "This person is cute" and "I would like to have the sex with them." Because the guy who drove the Transformer was really cute but he just didn't do anything for me. I don't know. There was no physical attraction. Just like "I acknowledge that you have aesthetically pleasing facial features." But I couldn't see myself with him. Also, the fact that he was like 9 years younger than me played a huge difference. Because if anything it would have just been physical. I wouldn't have wanted to date him. Which sounds almost perfect for someone just out of a relationship. But I just didn't have that oomph for him. So it was a no go. Then he showed his true colors and got all pissy with me when I shot him down again.

It's more Virgin Guadalupe worship. And I know Mary worship is pretty big. But Guadalupe is just all over the place here. But like I said, I've never gone to anything other than Mexican/Spanish Catholic masses, so I have no clue what the difference is. If there is any. I just know that my ex-boyfriend's grandma was Irish Catholic and she was determined to make sure I knew she was Irish Catholic, as opposed to just Catholic.

Yeah, that doesn't make sense to me. Aside from their belief that unbaptized children go to purgatory or something.

Yeah, and that's not the first time she's abandoned an animal just because she didn't want to take it with her. I also had them take my cat once so I could move. And they were only supposed to watch him for a week. Well when I went to go pick him up he had "escaped." My brothers and sister said that he was running around with the neighborhood cats so I told them to catch him for me next time they saw him and they never did. :/

I'm a huge Lord of the Rings nerd honestly. Hahaha. And we made a pact when we got married that someday we would go to Hobbiton and so I figure if I ever get the money I'll pay him back by taking him with me. Or to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Florida. He'd like that, the little nerd.

Lol.

I agree! I sent that picture to my husband yesterday and I was like "LOOK AT THAT FACE!" But I also used it as a reaction image to his theory that The Avengers 3 will have Tom Hiddleston, Sebastian Stan, and Lee Pace all in one movie AND I WILL DIE! All of my boyfriends in one movie and it will undoubtedly be my favorite movie of all time. And if/when that happens I will save up my money to go see it once a week until it comes out on video. Then I will watch it every day and it will take the place of Lord of the Rings and I will die happy.

Although, I should explain that Captain America 2 is working it's way up onto my list of top favorite movies. I mean, it's already on my list. But the #1 spot is shared by three movies. So it's slowly wedging itself into those three movies.

@ Indigo Umbrella
It is sad, but things are picking up slightly, so maybe in a few years it won't seem so bad. It could be worse!

:) lol, I guess you're way better than me at holding chapters back.

Ooohhh, now I'm even more excited!!! I didn't think it was possible., but it is!!! And eepppp for 'other stuff' chapters! Hehehe!

You should do, at the very least it could lead to a bit of extra money for stuff you've already completed. It couldn't hurt.

That sucks. Here education and schools are more standard. I mean, obviously some schools are better than others, but teachers get paid the same whether in a private school or not so the 'standard' in terms of quality of teaching should be the same. And here we have a pretty good welfare system in comparison to America. It's not perfect, by any means, but it's way better than what you guys have.

Jeez, that's awful. You think the government would try to help more! And there should be an exemption for casinos, I mean, the two go hand in hand, really.

Attraction is a big thing though. Maybe that sounds shallow , but it does okay an important part in love and being in a relationship.

I don't know if it's different. I mean, the masses would be different I'm sure, but what the beliefs would be the same. Do you mean in regards to Virgin Mary, 'cause that's a essential belief here too.

I agree. That's why we have confirmation, which is basically a baptism but you represent yourself and then you're full member of the church. Like , why have baptism in the first place? It's stupid .

Damn, that's harsh. Id be so pissed, there was no need for that! The poor cat, that was horrible to do.

That's great, I'm glad things are looking up for him, you both deserve a bit if luck to come your way. Oh, I always wanted to go to New Zealand, I hope one day I can! It's such a beautiful place!

Don't be, honesty is good thing! At least I know now!

I love him! He's so awesome, and funny. And just generally perfect!

Aw. That's sad. :(

Haha. Well before I had most of it written before I started putting it up. And I didn't do anything ever. So it was pretty easy. Lol.

Yeah, and they suggested in the movie that every time they have him out of cryo-sleep for too long he starts to remember. So I think with some time he automatically starts to slip back into his old self, which could have proved dangerous for Hydra. So they always fucked with his head some more and stuck him back in cryo. And that's something I wanted to show in my story. Like at this point he's already starting to remember things and figure things out. And being around Jo makes him relax enough to actually start to make progress. And I can't wait for the end. Ommigod. :X I can't say anything. Oh yes. I'm excited for those "other things" too. I actually haven't written those chapters yet because I've been procrastinating for days. I need to go work on them right now actually.

I'll have my husband help me. Lol. But cool! Thanks! I'll check out that site and see what it entails. :D

It's because jobs here are based on how much money you can make from them, rather than what their goals are. Education should be something that's provided to everyone regardless of income. But here you don't get a good education unless you can pay for it. And even then it's really not that great. They just teach you how to pass tests so they can get more funding. It's all about the money in America. If you can't make money you can't survive. :/

Yeah! It's nothing bad. There's a lot of shit that natives are going through that we don't see because it never makes the news. Like here I live right next to a reservation and there are tons of horror stories about native women being raped and brutally beaten out on the reservation and no one does shit unless they cross over. Like 90% of the murders and shit that takes place here happens on the reservation. And you drive through that area and there's literally nothing but mobile homes and cheap general stores for miles. There's like one casino but it doesn't generate a lot of money because this is also a Mormon state, even though they're on a reservation, and so they can't sell alcohol. So no one wants to go gamble their money if they can't drink. I mean, where I grew up in California the reservation by us was really profitable and they all lived in beautiful mansions and got a lot of money from their casino. So I didn't realize how bad it was until I traveled away from there. :/

And see, even if you weren't in love with that person when you left them, I can't imagine just jumping right into another relationship. I don't know. I don't even feel like upset about leaving my husband. It's been over a year. I'm fine. I've moved on. But the last guy who asked me out I was like really really uncomfortable with the thought of it and he just kept saying "You're still in love with you're husband and he's probably sleeping with other girls anyway." And I was like "I honestly don't care who he sleeps with or what he does. I just don't want to be with you. Like you're cute and you've got a cool car but you're just not doing it for me, son." So maybe that's the answer. Maybe it's the person. Because if some famous person's I won't name, somehow found their ways over here and were like "Yo baby, lemme holla atcha." I'd be right on that. So I guess it's one of those attractions/right person kind of things.

I've only been to mass once and I only went because we were going to the movies afterwards and I don't remember anything about it except that I was thinking about fauxhawks a lot and the wine was good. But I've been to Catholic weddings and funerals and I felt really out of place and confused. But then again. Irish Catholic is still kind of different, right? Like the Catholics in my family are Mexican and I'm pretty sure they do things differently. Lot of virgin worship.

Well that's good. My family was all about the baptisms when I was little and my mom refused to baptize me. So now I don't think they care at all. My son's not baptized or anything. And my husband was JW, as we discussed, so he's completely against baptizing children. A baptism is a person's own personal dedication to God. You can't baptize someone who has no idea what they're doing. It's a personal choice.

That's exactly how I feel! Like she likes animals as long as they're already trained and don't require things from her. And she doesn't care how good of an animal they are, she will up and leave them for no good reason. Like my cat when I lived in Florida. I found this cat in a church parking lot and brought her home and named her Tinkerbell and she had kittens. And I had to leave Florida to move back to California so I told her to take care of my cat. And when she decided to move to Idaho I told her I would pay her to take my cat with her and I would come and get my cat. Nope. She abandoned my cat. Left her in their old house and took off and never looked back. I have no idea what happened to that cat and it breaks my heart that she depended on me and probably wondered why I'd left her and I just fucking ougahsdga... now I'm mad again. But yeah, that's the kind of woman she is. She goes through animals constantly because she likes the idea of them but doesn't care enough about them to deal with the responsibility. And they just got a new dog recently. Ughhhhh.....

Me too. But he got a new promotion at work and so he's doing pretty well in that aspect. He's saving to come out here and I've been helping him manage his money. So he's actually saved quite a bit. More than we ever saved when we were married. And weirdly enough, we're actually spending more than we did then too. Like he's been helping us so much and I'm so grateful to him. He helped me get my computer so I could go to school, helped me pay the internet bill, and just yesterday he told me he was giving me money to get clothes for myself. Because I have no clothes. I hate taking things from him because he does so much and I have no way to pay him back but he says not to worry about it. He said he's paying me back for not doing these things when we were together. So someday when I'm making enough money, I'm going to take his ass to New Zealand. Even if we don't get back together. He's still my best friend.

Lol. I am so sorry.

Ommigosh. I've never watched his interviews but now I want to. He's such a cutie patootie.

@ Indigo Umbrella
They say my generation is the first in Ireland that can expect to not do as well as our parents. That blows, but we can't change it.

It is a huge story, and I don't envy you having to rework it. At least you have your plot laid out, and it's more a matter of changing a few things rather than a major plot rewrite. The multiple chapters a day would be awesome, though I don't know how you managed to do it before!

I think it'll be so much interesting to see Bucky that way, rather than making him an outright villain. He's a good guy underneath all the reprogamming, and I really want to see some of that shine through! And I'm eager to see him get some hugs, smoochies and 'other stuff' later, I'm not gonna lie. ;)

You should really get the number of a local agent, and get their advice on how to go about it. It could take a while, but I would say the most important part is getting an agent who will put your stuff into publishers hands. Or, you can go the self publishing route, using sites like Smashwords (I linked it) to do it yourself. A lot of people do that, so it shouldn't be too difficult.

Teaching can be stressful, and I don't envy them one bit. I get why people will do here for the security and money, but if you don't like it I don't see how you could stick with it. I heard before about how different it is in the U.S and I was stunned. I mean, it's an important job, it's stressful and a ton of responsibility. Why wouldn't you offer decent pay and security? I know it's a little different in secondary schools, where certain department might cut back on teaching hours, but if you have a permanent contract, or any hours, you'd be guaranteed some kind of work. It's a terrible way to treat people who have an important role in shaping the future generation.

That's terrible! That kind of discrimination, in this day and age, is awful. I suppose I understand, their culture is important and not just a 'fad' for others to mock a degrade so it makes sense that it wouldn't be taken kindly. They just want their culture to be respected, and they're right.

I don't get how someone could get engaged again so quickly! It's kinda like the Mikey Way thing, although I don't judge and I don't necessarily believe he cheated. But, he obviously got engaged so soon after he was separated, and it seems odd that someone who was so in love with another person can move on so quickly. There's no set or right time for you to get over a relationship, but going from one to the other never seems like a good idea. I'm happy to be on my own, and in a way I'm used to it. I kinda find the idea of beholding to someone really weird now. I like doing what I want, when I want. It's nice to just be your own person. I think you need to feel that before you can have another relationship.

Catholicism is kinda strange in a way, with some of the stuff we believe, like the whole 'wine changes into blood, bread into flesh' thing. And the masses are too long and really boring. It's all pomp and ceremony these days, really. Plus, they still won't allow women priests. It's messes up.

I'm lucky in a way, that my parents were as relaxed as they were about going to mass and stuff. My cousins were forced to go every Sunday, and they still go now when they're in their 30s, more for show than anything else. My grandparents are really religious, if I had a child and didn't baptise it, they would get really upset. I don't plan on baptising any child I have, so it'll be a nice fall out if the time ever came. My mam was a little put off by it as well, but she knows I mean it so she won't pressure me into it. I don't think.

She doesn't like animals? How can someone not have that natural affection you feel when you see a cute kitten or puppy? I always believed that someone who doesn't like animals isn't to be trusted. If you can't feel for a creature that gives you affection/comfort and is not threatening, what does that say about you?

I really hope it gets sorted for him soon and then he can get away from his parents.

Thank you for your honesty. At least I know the truth now. *Shudders*

Yeah, he's got the Irish humour going on. I love seeing his interviews, he's just so down to earth and funny.

Oh I see. Well that freaking sucks. :/

Hahaha. We do unfortunately.

Yeah, that's going to be a huge project to tackle. So I'm probably going to do it piece by piece so I don't overwhelm myself with it. The original draft itself was created bit by bit in four years. So, I don't think it'll take that long this time since it's an edit/rewrite and the plot's already laid out for me. But I don't think I'll be able to go back to putting up multiple chapters a day. Lol.

I'm really glad that I took it in that direction because I later saw an interview with Sebastian Stan where he talks about the way he chose to portray the Winter Soldier as more of a victim of PTSD, rather than a villain. And then I was just super glad I chose that path instead of making him inherently violent. And it also ended up laying the foundation for their connection to each other. And yay Bucky! He'll get some hugs and smoochies later in the story. ;)

Aw, psh. Thank you. It's definitely something I'm interested in doing. But I think I need help from someone. Like an agent or someone close to me who knows what they're doing. Because I'm too passive and I have no idea what I'm doing. I think teaching in general would make me anxious. I like smaller kids better than older ones but with younger kids I'll have to have a basic understanding of math and science and all of that stuff on top of my English degree. And I already know I'll never make it teaching math. And I don't know it that would be an option unless I continued to go to school for those other subjects :/

Well that sucks because of those people who just want job security. But I can imagine it would be good for people who genuinely like teaching. I think I would love to teach if I could get over my anxieties. Teachers don't make a lot of money here and job security is non existent. If you're a teacher, especially of the arts or music, you're pretty much always at risk for losing your job due to budget cuts. If I become an English teacher I think I'll be okay because that's a subject that never gets cut. But if I go into art or creative writing I'll probably move from school to school a lot. However, I was thinking I could possibly teach to adults. And my degree could also lead into teaching college students, which would result in a lot of money. Hahaha.

The problem is that it's offensive to a lot of Natives to see when a white girl claims their heritage. Natives are still living in poverty in reservations and they're still being oppressed. Their children are still being taken from them and then adopted out to white families, for no good reason. I think the percentage of native children being adopted over the percentage of other races is incredibly high. High enough to where there's obviously something wrong going on. Not to mention their culture is closed and a lot of their traditions are being taken, mocked, and appropriated by white people. Like people wearing Indian headdresses for fun or getting tattoos of dream catchers without knowing what any of those things mean. I think Natives are cool with it if people earn it. For instance I'm Mohawk but I grew up away from the culture. If I went to the Natives here or befriended someone within the tribe who was willing to teach me about my heritage, then they would be cool with it. Because I wouldn't be perverting their culture and I would know better than to wear a headdress without earning my honor, you know? To me it's more about respect. I am proud of my heritage but I also acknowledge that I didn't grow up within that culture and it is not my place to try to claim it, no matter how much Native is in my blood. It's something that has to be earned.

See, and I think the hatred of the French is just something that's deeply rooted. Like my grandpa experienced it when he was young and this was obviously before the war in the Middle East became an issue. I think Americans are always just looking for an excuse to hate the French without any real reason. Because as you said, France isn't the only country that refused to get involved in our bullshit. But they seem to take it so much more offensively when it's done by French people. There's a lot of really stupid French stereotypes here too.

And yeah, that's all on the person in question. Some people bounce back quicker than others. A friend of mine was married and had her third child with her husband. And then like a month later they were divorced. And it's been like six months and she's already engaged to someone else. I'm not judging. I'm just like "Damn, son. How do you move on so quickly?" I was the one who broke it off and I think I've gone far beyond getting over the heartbreak, and I'm still not feeling it. I love being on my own. Damn.

That's good that they're making progress though. I hope the world is slowly learning to become more tolerant. I don't know a whole lot about Catholicism because my dad hates it and the rest of his family is a weird mix between Catholics and Baptists. So it was never really something I was exposed to. Aside from like weddings and funerals and stuff.

That's good that your family is like that too. I don't hate religion because I can see how it can be used for good things. But I've never been religious and I've never been forced to be religious. Except for the one time my grandparents thought I was suicidal because I wrote down some MCR lyrics and they made me watch Passion of the Christ and told me not to "turn my back on Jesus." But my mom's an atheist and my dad's kind of one of those people that think the bible is right but don't follow it and don't care to change. His wife though. Her parents are... I don't know what they are... but they believe that the end times will come in a rain of brimstone and hellfire and the righteous will ascend into heaven all at once and all the bad people will be left to fend for themselves as the world burns. Some shit like that. So she's difficult to deal with because she has no care for animals. Because they also apparently believe that animals are meant to be servants to man and they don't go to heaven. So she has no natural affection for animals and it pisses me off because I don't know how you can look at a cute baby kitten and think "Little bastard needs to hurry up and serve me or I'm going to get rid of it." When I told her I spent $200 to get my cat fixed and to get her shots, but now the cat is a bitch, she told me I was nuts and I should just throw the cat outside and let her fend for herself.

Yeah, I don't know what's going on. I just know his parents are protecting his brother and not him. That also might be part of the problem. That he needs his parents to drive him around and to the courthouse and they sort of hold his medications hostage. He said he's working on fixing it but I don't know what he's done recently.

Lol. They always lie! And it never gets easier or any more comfortable! You just sort of learn to deal with it. :/

Me too! That's like the best face. He's such a goof.