Yet again, I play the punchline.One of my friends, whom I thought I could trust, was lying to me the entire time.He lied about his hallucinations, his voices, his cutting. He's just another pothead who thinks it's hilarious to play some sick joke and mess with my trust. They all think it's so goddamn funny.I have enough anxiety medication to fight off cutting. Barely. I never wanted to relapse....

Mom says she doesn't believe in hell. She says she doesn't think God is a punishing God- that he wouldn't send anyone anywhere worse than Earth. I think she's right. That's why people see ghosts and that kind of thing- spirits trapped on Earth forever.I just finished this book that consisted of ten short stories- gothic stories. Ghosts and vamps and witches. Fun stuff. In one of the stories, this...

Okay,About my last journal entry:First off, thank everyone for the feedback.Now let me say a few things.One,I don't REALLY want to see Disney movies end on a sad note.And I'm glad I had the illusion during MY childhood life.I think everyone is.But please don't tell me the whole idea of the thing doesn't irritate you NOW.I mean God,THEY FUCKED US OVER!Again, I loved the fucking over,But these...

Disney pisses me off sometimes.Don't get me wrong,I love Disney.Disney World really IS the happiest place on Earth!(Not that I've seen all of Earth, but from what I know, that place is pretty goddamn happy.)But I mean,There's ALWAYS a happy ending.Yeah, yeah,I realize it's for younger kids,But someday those kids gotta wake the fuck up!Avril Lavigne did. Therefore we have the song "My Happy...

I won't admit it to myself, really. I just try to distract my mind from ever thinking of him. Drowning myself by beating around the bush as I sink deeper and deeper into my music and writing.But I know...I know...I know it's a waste.I'm a piece of the past.An insane piece at that.I'm the joke, the laughter, the punchline.And God, does it hurt.And if that's true, why do I feel like I don't deserve...

A significant figure.One I wish I could look up to...But sine he looks down on me, how can I?Violent words and pangs of guilt, undeserved guilt, and a million scars up my arms to show for it. A chiropractor's word of scoliosis.What from?Daddy, of course.I know he and I are both going to hell.I'm going for hell for lying to him. For freedom, yes, but he is still my father. And a lie is a lie. But...

That girl is everything to me.Which is just why I can't let myself have her.I hate to break her heart, but it's all I can do to protect er. From my life, from me. From all the trouble that gripped on my heels and stays with me like a shadow now. I'm not good for her, and she's far too good for me.She's so beautiful...her eyes set in layers. A rich chocolate brown with a caramel softly spun in,...