Emotional Wind / Comments

Hey, thanks again for the story comment.
I've actually thought about the memory/vocabulary thing. Because erasing everything from the brain would be impossible(and thus defeat the purpose of the story) I decided that Harlequin would have snatches of the brain donor's(Zachary) memories and all of his knowledge, but Harlequin has to unearth it himself.
It was pretty hard to write that chapter in first person, but I want this story to be personal. I want the reader to know Harlequin's thoughts and his confusion throughout the process of finding out who he is, and who his real enemies are.

Thank you for your comment! :D I shall listen to your words, and I hope to improve.

thanks for the advice will deff. change that and i will read your story when i get back from church.. :))

Thanks for the story comment :)
I did post the first real chapter.
(Just in case you're intrigued)

you dident waste your time I'm just not in the mood for cirtisim

thanks for the comments I cant make promises that I will pay attention as I am aggnorent(kind of sad when I admitt that) but thats no excuse so I probly will pay attention

I wasn't offended at all! I'd rather people tell me what I could improve on. Now I know I need to work on my guy point of view, but seeing as how I'm not a guy I have no idea what they think, I only know what girls want them to think. Because of you, I'm actually going to rewrite tomorrow and hopefully make it better. :))))

Thanks for the comment, I'll try it out - see if I like it;)

Thanks for the comment, it was really helpful. I usually leave out descriptions because in my experience the readers get bored and don't read past the first chapter, so I try and get straight to the point, but thank you for telling me how I can make my story better. Not a lot of people do that. :D

Thanks for the comment, I actually scared myself writing that first chapter.

Thanks for the story comment! It was really kind of you.

Thanks for the story comment. xD

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