...They would doubtless tell you I have a son. A cute one, of course, but--oh, my lord--how scandalous. After all, I'm only sixteen, and he must be mine, right? I mean, there is definitely familial resemblance.Sigh. How ridiculous.I feel as though this has become my motto: I am not my brother's mother!Yes, I am of an age that is physically capable of giving birth to a child. Yes, my mother is...

There is a pink pig sitting on my nightstand. A pink pig, with exactly eleven baby-blue spots adorning her back. Her smile is cynical and questioning, as if asking, "What the fuck did I ever do to deserve having you drop damn coins in me all day long?"Last time I checked -or remember- her name was Maggie. She was "born" on April 30th, 2000, which I believe is why I was thinking about her all day....

Yes, I know. I hope you spontaneously self-combust...That one was said to me by one of my "sweeter" ex-boyfriends. Personally, I got a serious kick out of it because of the situation it was said in and because of how he learned those words.Honest to god, I was the one who taught him what "spontaneous" and "self-combust" mean, so to have them used against me in such a rudementary way was in the...

... up until last night, I'd never been kicked out before.Of anywhere.A classroom, a restaurant, a movie theater, nothing.Let alone my own house.But nope, now I can tack that up on my billboard of "experiences a normal human being isn't required to have, but I still have anyway".It started off as a dinner conversation about school. Pretty mundane, in my opinion. I was upset over an unfair grade I...

...dandruff on a guy is a turnoff.Is it honestly only 87%? What, do the other 13% think it's sexy to run their fingers through a guy's hair and pull them back looking like they'd been through a blizzard? Weirdos much?Anyways, I was just watching some sort of Super Bowl preview thing. An Axe shampoo commercial came on. Hopefully stupidity isn't contagious. I wouldn't want to catch it.Why is it that...

It should be a woman’s decision.Four people should be involved in the decision, but ultimately, it has to be up to her.The four people I would recommend getting involved would be a spiritual advisor, a medical advisor, the father and the mother.If you have not gathered that I am talking about abortion, perhaps you are either slow at learning or not paying attention to the writing.Also something...

... not make plans for the weekend of my birthday? Is that so much to ask.Apparently.First, Taylor, my bestfriend, says in an unrelated conversation, "Oh. And if you're having your party on the Friday before your birthday, or on your birthday, I can't come."So me, being hurt and confused, asked why.She replied with, "Because I made plans a really long time ago, and I can't break them."My best...

...first kissed a boy.Yeah, yeah, you may say that doesn't count, but it wasn't a brother-sister kiss, and it wasn't a peck on the cheek. It was his lips on my lips. An actual kiss. And it was meant to be that way. I kissed this same boy all the way through kindergarten, and through first grade, and then he moved.After that I kissed a boy a couple times in second grade, once or twice in third...

...You just don't think as fast as I do.Seriously.I believe that there are very few people out there who are truly 'random'. Most of us are just constantly thinking, and so we share one of the many thoughts playing toilet-tag in our head and people give us a look like, "Where on Earth did THAT one come from?"But it actually does have a source.A real, honest to god process.Let's say, for an easy...

... Unless you're me. In which case, your first impression of me serves you little to no good. As a matter of fact, if you're on this page, that means you know someone I know, or you randomly landed on my profile, or you thought my journal sounded interesting. So you've got an opinon already formed about me. Don't worry, I won't hold it against you. You probably don't even know it yet. But you...