xxjulzmariexx

Well, I'm kind of a super nerd, but not in a conventional way. I'm really smart, but I try to be modest. Still, I love getting a 98 on a test in AP physics ;) I also love that I'm getting a 4.8 gpa yet I'm a [natural] blonde. It never ceases to amuse me when someone finds out that I'm sort of a genius when they thought I was just another run-of-the-mill ditzy girl.

Unfortunately, I end up spending most of my time on homework, but I still have fun. I love music, and have played drums for seven years. I listen to pretty much all music, except for rap and mainstream pop [Indie bands own my heart]. I like to write too, but usually just silly stories that pop into my head, perhaps because I'm such a dreamer that I live out half my life just inside my mind. I am such a dreamer, even if it is sometimes my downfall. I tend to set unrealistically high goals for myself and those around me, but I also back it up with a lot of heart and determination. I achieve my goals about 95% of the time, but not everyone is like me, and usually people close to me fail to meet my same expectations. Maybe I'm just a little bitter, but I've been hurt by a lot of 'best friends' so I'm not a very trusting person.

Nevertheless, a part of me will always be a naive little girl who believes that a hug can fix any problem and when someone says 'it'll be okay' they're telling the truth.

I love to read. The Outsiders is my favorite book of all time. Impulse, Thirteen Reasons Why, and The Perks of Being A Wallflower are pretty high up on my list too. I just wish I had more time to sit and read.

I'm a tad bit [okay extremely] complicated, but I promise there's more to me. I am intensely passionate, and although it's led to some heartbreak and some serious letdowns, I will never stop putting my heart completely into everything I do. I'm also very loyal, and protective of the people I care about. I don't care if someone calls me a bitch, or tries to hurt me because I'm strong enough not to let it bother me. However, if you mess with one of my friends, I'll mess with you. Granted, this kind of behavior has led to a few friendships where I merely got used, but I will always put other people before myself; it's just how I am.

My heart has been broken several times, mostly by friends and being betrayed, but recently from a best friend turned boyfriend. Still, I'm a hopeless romantic. I still dream of meeting that perfect guy who makes everything worth it. All the shit I've put up with and all the issues I've [barely] survived, I'm still waiting for that reason why I went through it all. Okay, I know, I know, there I go with the unrealistic expectations, but really it's simple. I just want someone to give me a hug when I'm feeling sad, make me laugh when I'm with him, look out for me when I'm too naive to protect myself, and not be afraid call me out on my shit. I'm a *recovering* cutter and I'm a post-suicide attempt, and I'm getting a lot better [happier] but I could still use a shoulder to lean on from time to time. It'd just be nice to have something [someone] solid in my life when I can't always count on myself.

Okay, wow, I have a severe tendency to ramble, sorry >.< but I guess that sums me up [mostly]. I have seventeen years of stories though, so talk to me and maybe you'll hear some.