so...I'm done. I/m tierd of life and all of its silly crap so I'm giving up. I wont die or anything like that but I dont care anymore. and dont say everyone just wants me to be happy cuz it wont happen. it wont change anything. I have honestly tryed to be happy but its not worth all the people I will hurt in the process. its not worth all the pain I'll casue. so insted of causeing pain I'll live...

why do they want me to be happy? dont they realize how utterly impossible that is. why do they say to do things they dont want me to do if it will make me happy. how am I that important to them. I shouldnt be that important to them. they will get hurt. I cant be perfect forever. wouldnt it be better if I just left. just let them be who they are without me. cuz I cant be that important. I cant be...

so one of my best friends dissappared off of facebook today. and myspace. and every other place I got to talk to her. and idk why. idk if she is okay or if she needs help or what. and I cant call becuz she lost her phone. and for the first time I have to ask myself. what do I do. do I just walk away? do I just let what happens happens? or do I take matters into my hands and do...

so shes right....big whoop....doesnt chage anything....I mean I'll just get hurt. again. and I'm tierd of getting hurt. u knw what. F*ck this. whats wrong with staying single for life.......I like that option. so fuck this. theres nothing wrong...oh. whatever. sigh. I dont care. I honestly dont care. and so for the first time the player is ending his game. I love to many people just to take one....

so idk anymore. everytime I try to talk to anyone it seams they dissapare. so idk anymore. It seams that the best thing to do would be to not talk to anyone. I mean I need them around. I need them in my life. They are my reason to keep living. its not like I want to live. but they say they want me to. so I do. becuz they want me to I do. They want me to eat, so I eat, they want me to sleep so I...

sigh....so my sister once made a comment that I only fall in love with her friends, and not just her friends her best friends. and that freaked me out cause I realised she was right, so I made a promise to myself that I would never do that again, or if I did I would just ignore it. but know it has happened again (I think....I'm a boy give me a break) and I dont think I can ignore it so idk what to...