Crimson Remorse

The Intricacies
Je m’apelle Becca ou Bex[z].
Mi llama Becca o Bex[z]
I am approximately female with male-like tendencies.
It's been a year this October since I moved away from Nebraska.
I’m a decade and seven years old, my age not doing my intelligence nor maturity any justice.
I am inimitable. Remember that.
I fulfill the quote, “You never know with her.”
I like to poke holes in my face and decorate myself with pretty ink.
My eyes are the color of Black Coffee; look as hard as you want,
You will not be graced with the window of my soul.
I look white, but I’m actually Mexican, Incan and Aztecan.
I have a gift of expressions and explanations.
I’ve been told that I’m mentally stimulating.
I don't generally play the submissive card.
I am a machine running on Caffeine and Nicotine.
My soul-mate is supposed to be a Scorpio.
I like my women Intelligent and my men Empathetic.
That being said, I rarely date and I've never brought anyone home.
I’m a musician, writer and artist.
I love affection, but I hate to be touched.
I’m open-minded and yet stoic.
Emotions still do not rule me but they are playing about my face.
I don't judge music by genre, if it's good, I'll like it.
I yearn for the feeling of my hair swaying at the backs of my thighs again.
I tend to obsess over things and then lose interest abruptly.
I’ve been in love.
Though my grammar isn’t the sharpest, I’ve been called the Human Dictionary.
I tend to base my relationships and friendships off of astrology.
I do not flaunt myself as a romantic, however if the moment called for such,
I could easily sweep you off your feet.
Someday, I will be someone's old lady.
I despise lying and liars
I surround myself with things of natural beauty and ascending naivety;
because few things in this world are pure and I wish to glance upon these precious things.
Moonflowers are devastatingly beautiful as are gentle smile lines and crow's feet on an aging woman's face.
Religion is a touchy subject, as is my Mother.
My past is complex and I do not feel as though I should have to delve anymore into what cannot be changed.
I‘m quick to anger, but I will warn you if you’re entering dangerous territory.
I've apparently put too much confidence in people
I will prove all your preconceived notions wrong.
You will get what you deserve.
Cleverness and charm aren't my fortes any longer;
however I am working to sharpen my tongue and mind.
Sometimes, silence holds the darkest lies.
You might think I'm arrogant; but I've earned the right to be so.
I’m a quick study, being that I can play 7 instruments, all self-taught.
I'm learning Latin, Spanish, French, German, Italian, Japanese, Portuguese and Arabic
I've been told that I've changed lives.
I don’t make promises that I won’t keep, but I promise that I’ll be loyal.
Either you accept me for who I know myself to be or simply be ignorantly disillusioned.
I’m ready to listen.




The DL
Becca, commonly known as Bexz.
Dreaded getting older since July 10th, 1992.
Approximately female with male-like tendencies.
Mexican. Incan. Aztecan.
In love with Body modification.
Current Piercings: Double right eyebrow, double right nostril, left monroe, snakebites, tongue, labret, ½ stretched lobes, left industrial, both tragus, 12 standard lobe/cartilage.
Retired: Left anti-eyebrow, left horizontal eyebrow, right rook, left wrist, left eyebrow, triple tongue.
Ink: 11-3-4-9 on right hand knuckles, stars on the side of my knee, heart on my chest, MM on left ankle, star on apex between left thumb and forefinger.
Haven’t had my natural hair color since 7th grade.
Multi-instrumentalist.
Bb Clarinet. Alto Clarinet. Bass Clarinet.Tenor Sax. Alto Sax. Electric Guitar. Violin.
Ambidextrous.
Double-jointed finger tips.
Speed-Reader.
Called the Human Dictionary.
Has logged over 900k words via fiction, poetry etc.
No clue as to what the future holds past May 2010.
Quick to be obsessive.
Quick to lose interest.
When it comes to loving or caring deeply for someone, it’s almost impossible to move on.
You never know with me.
I don’t date.
Easily stoic.
Despises weaknesses/weak people.
Loves affection. Hates to be touched.
Temperamental.
Open-minded.
Hurt.
Struggling to get over a broken heart.
Ready to listen.



"How do you know when it's over?"
"Maybe when you feel more in love with your memories than with the person standing in front of you."

We Are So Accustomed To Disguise Ourselves To Others, That In The End We Become Disguised To Ourselves.

If music be the food of love, play on,
Give me excess of it; that surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.

All my hurting, all my yearning, all that burning,
Can't you see that it is me?
My beautiful…

"That's where I want to live the rest of my life.
A warm place, with no memory."

And I'm Haunted,
By the lives that I have loved,
And actions I have hated
I'm Haunted,
By the lives that wove the web,
Inside my haunted head.

If I could be any part of you, I’d be your tears. To be conceived in your heart, born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.

"If you're really listening, if you're awake to the poignant beauty of the world, your heart breaks regularly. In fact, your heart is made to break; its purpose is to burst open again and again so that it can hold ever-more wonders."

I am prepared to meet anyone, but whether anyone is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

I watch how the moon sits in the sky in the dark night,
Shining with the light from the sun
The sun doesn't give light to the moon assuming
The moon’s going to owe it one

As wicked as you are, you're beautiful to me.