In my life time I know I will give my heart to many people but I gave it to you first and that means a lot. It means you were special enough it means you cared enough and it means you loved me enough. You may not want it now but you were the first to try and give it a home. And I thank you for that. This may be the beginning of the road to find that one person I can console my permanence in and it...

What if I told you I dont look at all the txts you send because when I'm lonely I like to imagine im talking to you by saying I have a new message. Just because my previous journals have a lot of sad shit in them doesn't mean I dream differently at night. I still hope for one thing and one thing only. You are the apple of my eye. Nobody could ever dream of taking your place. I love you with all...

Had a nice night, slept well it was nice. Sleep always seems to fix everything for the moment. Today i woke up and nothing is different it still feels ive got a horse standing on my chest. Nothing has changed, romance is dead. And i don't know where im headed or where i would even go. When am i going to realize that she will never love me like i need. That im headed toward self destruction. it...

Three in a day, this must be a record. I just feel like whatever. I'm running on a treadmill. I try my very hardest everyday but no matter how hard I hope or believe at the end of the day all I do is digress. I don't doubt myself it's just so paradoxical. I need her love, it fuels me. But at the same time my fuel is also my goal. Like I need her to fuel me to win her. It's just alot of bullshit...

Dont you miss it? Don't you miss it enough to come back. To be in my arms and embrace my promise. I was sure and I still am. I will never fail you. I can't if I did I would honestly end my existence. I know confusion does terrible shit and I don't help keep you un confused but anything said past this point is just a record. We can change the world. We can change the way things work. Nothing me or...

Im starting this journal for all the people who don't have the time to care, and when they do they never have the time to care long enough. My grammar might be bad and i might have a few spelling errors but im not here to get critiqued im here to say what i have to say and if you read this then lucky you and if you dont then its good you haven't wasted any valuable time here.This shit just keeps...