I had a rather interesting experience Friday. I did something I've wanted to do for years, mostly out of curiousity. I've always been fascinated with the darker side of life, such as Wicca, psychics, vampires, goth, etc. Definitely skeptical about most of it, definitely don't buy into the whole eye of newt, wing of bat stuff, but I do believe in good versus evil. I do believe that there are people...

My life is in shambles......And I think I'm mostly to blame. Old wounds have been opened. Fresh pain. Scar tissue that'll always be there, festering.My ex, who I had an off/on relationship with for more than 10 years, our daughter died. I was pregnant, 6 months, and she died in my belly. I had to delivered a dead baby. Well, my ex, who is going to be 40 in October, has a new girlfriend who is 17....

The thunder rolls.....And the lightning strikes. So, I love thunderstorms. Lightning is indescribable. I love its spooky, surreal, mysterious, and phenomenal qualities all rolled into one. I sat outside earlier for nearly an hour. I also love the rain. Rain has such a wonderful clean crisp smell about it. Kissing in the rain is really awesome. It's only happened to me once, with Chris. It was just...

Happy Cinco de Mayo!!! Enjoy some mariachi music, tacos, and margaritas if you must. If you do, remember that 'Amigos don't let amigos drive drunk.' Cinco de Mayo is commonly believed to be Mexico's Independence Day. That is not correct. Mexico's Independence Day is September 16. Cinco de Mayo isn't even a federally recognized holiday in Mexico. In fact, it is more popular in the United States...

History was made again Sunday night, May 1, 2011, when a team of NAVY SEALS captured and killed Osama Bin Laden. It's about time.It's been almost ten years, and this was long overdue. Great job, guys!!!!! I'm proud to be an American!!!!!I remember 9/11. I was working inside a chemical plant, Albemarle, outside of Magnolia, a city not far from where I live. I can remember the warning bells going...

Should same sex marriage be legal? I think so. Marriage is defined as the union between a man and a woman. Why? Why does it have to be a man and woman? Where did the idea that marriage is union of a man and woman come from? The Bible? I don't agree with that principle. Prayer was taken out of public schools to seperate church and state, so why are we holding on to the idea of marriage as being a...

This isn't what I intended to write about today. But a few minutes ago, I was sitting outside and I looked down to see a butterfly had landed on my knee. It was black & white, rather unusual, it was black with white polka dots on it's wings. I am drawn to butterflies.They remind me of my daughter.Last week, my cousin's son to be died. A mere 3 weeks before the due date. So, sometime this week,...

Happy Easter everyone!!! I hope you all are having a great day!Since this is the day that Jesus rose from the dead (if you believe in the bible), it has made me reflect on religion, the Rapture and the Tribulation, and just thinking about alot of different things. I think I found another topic for a good debatable journal entry. I am going to do a little more research and stuff, and possibly...

Toad Suck, Turkey Scratch and Bald Knob are actual names of cities of the state I live in (Arkansas). I was bored earlier and I googled cities/towns of arkansas. Here are a few other names I thought were interesting/funny. Do you have any funny names for towns near where you live?Beaver, FIfty-Six, Combs, Wooster, Ash Flat, Snowball, Peel, Biggers, Horseshoe Bend, White Hall, Calico Rock, Green...

What a day!!! What a flippin sh*tty day! First I hear that my mother is having health problems, then tonight, disaster strikes. Lightning strikes and the thunder rolls. Bad things happen in 3's. My cousin, who raised like a brother to me, because he didn't have a father around so my dad stepped in. Well, he had baby boy on the way, due May 13th, but tonight Shauntelle's baby died. They will do a...

My mom has a growth in her throat. She went to the doctor today, found out that it is 4 centimeters, and she is scheduled to have a biopsy a week from tomorrow. Hopefully it isn't cancer. She will still have to have surgery to have it removed, regardless, because it is just too big to get rid of any other way. I'm a bit scared, both her aunt and her grandmother died from cancer. It also sounds...

Recently, I had family visit that I hadn't seen in quite some time. Both these women are my cousins. Both live in other states and don't see them, ever. One of them, we'll call her Sue, has 3 children, ages 17, 14, and 12. And then there is Dana, who has 5 kids, ages 2, 3, 5, 8, and 10. All 8 kids are homeschooled. They were the most maladjusted children I've ever been around. Admittedly, I don't...

So, today was a tough day for me.....Today is what would have been Karley's due date.....But it wasn't meant to be. I keep telling myself that, hoping someday that it will sink in and maybe hurt a little less. Till then, I have no choice but to keep on keepin on. I had the creepy nightmare again last night. I'm sure I will again tonight too, and so here I am fighting sleep, because I dread that...

Today is my 583rd day of sobriety. Wow, that's like a year and a half, I think. I never imagined that I would make it this far. And it does get easier, but this is a disease that I will always have. The first months were the hardest. Actually, the first few weeks, each day seemed like it lasted a year. But today, WOW! I have 583 days clean! That absolutely blows my mind. I never imagined this....