I've recently been listening to Alesana again. It's not a bad thing, it'll never be a bad thing. Listening to theses songs again and listening to these lyrics I'm reminded of all the pain I was feeling. But what's worse is that that pain, that ate me up from the inside out is coming back again after I've just began to get better.What's worse is that I have no clue how to tell anyone because this...

I'm dying to write something right now, it's just I can't. I guess you can say I'm beginning to feel insecure of my writing, like it's basically crap compared to other's. It's horrible to think that about yourself but I can't help it. Nothing I write is coming out right, it's just so messy and so fucking frustrated.I don't think it's my writing that's pissing me off, more so it's myself that's...

I absolutely hate it when I love a book, and years later can not for the life of me remember the author or title. There's this book I'm on the hunt for, I checked it out from the library when I was 16 and I can't remember anything about it expect a general plot line.I remember the cover being yellow, bright yellow with a image of a boy in black and gray. The story itself was about a teenage boy, I...

I've been thinking of poetry a lot theses days, short little poems. I don't like to drag on the meaning of a poem for many verses when I can capture the meaning in a few short lines. I started off hating poetry, I couldn't understand it and I couldn't write it and that frustrated me. I began to learn that for me to love poetry, I had to break away from the structures.I'm not a person that enjoys...

I'm trying to change my aspirations in life.To begin with, no I will not do what others want me to do, to achieve. Everyone is telling me that in order to succeed in life I need study for a job that will guarantee me money. But it's not what I want, I want to write. That's all I care for, it's my passion and what brings me the most happiness and relief in life. I've been ashamed of my writing,...

I feel like a failure of a friend. Everyone that I hold dear to my heart can come to me in their time of need, when they're feeling insecure or depressed and yet I can't ever speak up about what's bothering me. I have these demons eating away at me, bringing me down and I don't know if I can get back up? My best friend, I've know her for a year and she has told me everything that happened to her....

It bothers me, that I thought of opening my heart to him only to hear I may never see him again. It bothers me because for a second, a spilt second I considered letting down my walls to him because I've been told to let more people in. Yet, what's the point? what's the point if I may never see or talk to him again?I don't know if this should be a learning experience or a warning to never let...

Sadly I've decided to put all my stories on hiatus with the exception of Platstic Bones and a new story that I will begin to write. I haven't decided if I will delete them, I'm still on the fence about it, expect the ones that are completed of course.I just been busy with school and my emotional state right now and the urge to want to write and continue these stories have lost their appeal. I do...

I've fallen deep.I don't like it one bit. The walls are being built higher, the fear is settling in my stomach. I do not want this, I don't want to feel this way. I have to much on my plate and this is just, I don't want to feel anything for him.He says he wants to see me smile, he says he wants to comfort me, but I don't want it.I don't like it.Truth is, I'm not use to it. I'm not use to...

I really don't know why I'm constantly on Facebook, hoping for a friend request. It's irks me how I'm just fawning over him. I hate it. Maybe it's because he makes me smile, compliments me, smiles at me, constantly asks how I am, hugs me. I don't know, I'm feeling like a schoolgirl with a crush or something like that...I don't even know what's going to happen next year, he's probably going off to...

So much has been happening in my life since the beginning of the semester. I'm really going to be pushed out of my comfort zone for my acting/writing class. I wasn't expecting to get such a demanding part and I feel like if I don't deliver it correctly I'll just disappoint everyone.I've been so busy with school that I haven't even thought of this significant other for weeks now. It's shocking...

The last week, exactly a week, I've been doing bad. Really bad. It started last Thursday night and has just seemed to progress into something worse. Not only do I feel like an emotional wreck but I look it too. Today I was in my last class of the semester and my teacher stops me before class and asks if I'm doing well, she said,"Eva you look dead."And she's right, I hardly sleep all week and I...

I don't what happened, but I hate that I like One Direction. It's stupid and I've never been one to like the most popular band, group or artist. I don't even know why I find them appealing and I hate that I love them. I'm not an obsessed fan girl but I just find it weird and almost out of character for myself. I remember not even knowing who they were until tow or three months ago when a friend...

I don't even know why I'm so obsessed with losing weight. I'm hardly eating and I know my parent's are worried, they're force feeding me now. But I can't help it, it's like every time I come to face with food I just hear the words fat, tubby, and ugly in my mind. Every night I cry myself to sleep because of the amount of food I ate, the amount of calories I consumed. Everything I eat I have to...

I don't think I need to starve myself anymore to look pretty, to be skinny. If I knew that last summer I would of saved myself some pain and sadness. So here I am a year later ready to change for the better. Rather than eat small portions and throw it up I will eat more healthy and spare the purging. Rather than binging in unhealthy food I'll eat healthy food.So today is the marking of my...

So I just want to write this because I just do. So I guess I finally taught myself to take things step at a time. I supposed it started during the last week of school, I started to stress over collage classes and graduation and I was just freaking out. I told myself to take things step at a time, starting with my P.E final for first period. So I did just that with every little thing I did from...

All good things come to an end is such a common phrase when a catastrophe strikes yet it has always been seen in the cards. People slowly begin to differ and grow apart from ones they felt would always be a constant in their lives, but why do people chose to grow apart? Surely it is not for mediocre events taking place in their lives and perhaps that may just be the reason. I have witnessed to...