buttt. . .Im so happy at the moment! i swear i haven't been this happy in ages.I honestly feel like iv opened my eyes and seen a bright and exciting world that has been there for me for so long already.i have so much good in my life and the only thing holding me back is me.For example last night i was allowed out of hospital for the weekend, and i went to go see my 3 friends band play thier first...

i did it. i told my friends.well indirectly acctually, but they were so great about it. They just came up to me and gave me massive hugs. we talked about it later too and they are just so fantastic! they said they will come visit me and write me letters.Jazzie gave me a braclet and said it would keep me feeling strong =] i fel like crying right then, and i hardly ever cry in front of people....

ok heres the situation (il try to keep it as simple as possible)i started a new school in september.iv made some really great new friends.on tuesday i have a pre- admission to hospital.if i go to hospital il have to drop out of college.thus and therefore how (if i do) should i tell my new friends?they dont officially know about my ed but have possibly tagged on.they also dont know that i was in...

why? why do i let EVERY LITTLE THING get to me. it always seems to get a negative alter meaning, something to twist a compliment into a cruel comment.for example;miss nichols; 'so Georgie, are you completely veggie?'me; 'yep'miss nichols; ' so dont you eat anything?' (meaning meat wise)Archie; 'nah Georgies anorexic(all sarcastic)'*class laugh*and now im totally mortified that they could laugh,...

of being my own prisoner.of not being good enough for myself.of making myself so tired i can hardly stay awake.of feeling like everything is too much.of feeling so self conciece i cant think of anything else.of hiding my problems.of treating everything as if its second important.of numbing myself so i dont feel anything.but i cant stopand i dont know how to.i feel like im dead on he inside and...

hmmm yeah i havnt been on in aggggeeeeesss, but now im here its like taken over my evening!not like i forgot about it i just kinda . . . left it.anyway.im in a state of confusion and also clarity. if that can ever work.im clear in what i should do.yetin confusion about what i really want to do.sense?grrrrrr.ok i might have to get round to writing about it later when it comes to me better.i bought...

nothing really sinks in. no song i hear is right. and nothing i do is amusing me.and yet im not pissed off or anything. i guess you call it blank.i need motivating or to be inspired.ah wellso this weekend i went into york with my mates and we were going to see Heavens Basement, but the guy on the door wouldn't let us in because we didnt have any ID even though it was nobody under 14 and we are all...

ok so in the last week i went on this trip. let me explain a few details of the trip:1. it was with my new college and i knew nobody.2. i was the only one moving from private school.3. it was raining like a b***ch.4 i havnt been to stay anywhere since i came out of hospital.and acctually. . . it was really fun! i did river walking ( a whole lotta getting wet!) and rock climbing, and orienteering...

well yeah i got my hair cut today and tbh i dont really like it =/ she cut my fringe too straight and i look slightly robotic. in a wierd way.anyway il get over it.im so excited for tomorrow, coz im going to a Vivvian Westward exhibition in Sheffield with my best friend =D i dont know what to wear though...??but im so nervous/ scared about Friday *worried face* coz the hospital are contemplating...

Getting my lip pierced. but im not sure. i have a pic of me with a fake one and it looks ok. you know when you really think about something for a long time and start to get excited about it, because its not real, but its a maybe. an exciting prostect.Then i asked my mum and she was all cool about it! and so now i have the opportunity and its left me stunned.i could get it done on monday if i...

My baby,there are no words to say how much i love you,and will always love you.I hated to see you in so much pain,as i was useless, i tried everything i could.You fought til the end and you were so brave.I dont know why you had to leave, but you have.And it hurts really bad.I hope you rest in peace,I will miss you everyday,but will look back with happy memories,and smile at all they joy and...

my chinchilla is ill, and i mean really sick. he wont eat or drink and squeaks when i pick him up like its hurting him, even though im being as gentle as possible.iv been to the vet but the medicine is making no difference, hes lost weight and become exahusted, all i want to do is make him better, and id do anything for him to make it.i know animals get ill, but i feel like i have done something...

grrr, i know i shouldnt complain but they are doing my head in!i was really upset coz i gained weight this week and my mum was all "oh thats such brilliant news!" and "oh im so glad!" i felt like screaming at her. cant she be a little sensative.and today i was upset again coz all my clothes are tight and i had to eat tons and i was crying and she came in and started shouting at me about how hard...

im getting two baby chinchillas! on monday =]has anyone else got one?? im so excited, and a bit nervous too, i hope we can all be friends :)anyway today i went to work at my local charity shop, and it was quite good acctually! i met a really nice lady, who, even though she was about 80, was telling me how much fun a nintendo Wii is! and she also told me to watch out for people stealing stuff,...

ah yes i am back after *counts on fingers* 10 weeks!how iv missed the computer, so im currently spending about an hour on the computer a day, sad i know, but i need to catch up. =Dits so nice to be at home again. although coz iv been away for so long, i feel a bit awkward around my family, kinda like a visitor in my own home.my sister got me a £15 i-tunes card for my birthday, but coz i was in...

acctually i dont even get that journal name.anyway im ment to be doing art. . . but nahhh, i already did loads, and im tired.i had PE today. it was good. me and Gaby get special treatment :D in other words we are too bad at tennis/couldnt give crap about it, so we get to play badminton instead!but there is one thing that has ruined my day/ week/rest of year (or just a long time) i have to give up...

i have a Mr Happy phone charm. he flshes and spins when i get a call or text, my sister got him for me, and i love him! yesterday on the train though, he was going crazy coz of all the people who were using their phones:Di had a full day of art today. no kidding. i had a four hour exam in the morning, then doudle art. funfunfun! im sitting next to this guy who cannot be quiet, and if hes not...

k i have a serious dilema/situation.my parents want me to go in to the eating disorders unit. tomorrow.i really dont want to. i know they wont let me out til im obese. i will miss my exams that i have worked so hard for over the last two years. il have to re-take next year. its such a horrible thought.but then i see them. . . my mum, dad and sister, who are suffering so much just trying to get me...

it was a year and two days since gaby and i went to see mcr!oh the memories =]lucky us.anyway, im enjoying my holidays more than i thought i would, except i keep argueing with my parents =/ it feels like im just having to tolerate them, and im waiting for the time the just leave me alone.that sounds really ungrateful.i do love them.i just dont like them somethimes i guess.i got my hair cut on...

im really upset : (today has just not been my day i guess.first off my shetland is ill. i think its just old age, hes about thirty six. but yesterday he was lying down and he couldnt get up on his own. it happened again this morning. i cant stand to see him like that. . . what if hes in loads of pain? i love him so much, but i dont know what to do.also today during english, this guy turned to me...