Part 1.

I don't talk about the way I love you because I feel as if there is no word, no phrase to describe or depict it. The feeling I get when I look into your eyes is one that I can perhaps only describe in physical expression ; my breath catches, my eyes soften, and before I know it, I'm smiling. I cover my mouth and look to the floor out of embarrassment - I am just a child. The love I feel causes me...
June 16th, 2013 at 02:50am

Wish.

What's it been - a month or so? Hey. I'm Trevor, again. Nice to meet you. Anyway, I got to talk to my boyfriends brother last night. It was the first time we've ever spoken for a full length of time in a non-confrontational or non-boyfriend/brother related manner. We spoke for around... 30 minutes? I don't know if I mentioned it in previous entries, but, for all intents and purposes, my boyfriend...
June 9th, 2013 at 03:05am

More to come

I wonder if I get ahead of myself as harshly as I think. Perhaps so. Last entry, I mused and ranted about the needs I had and that they didn't deserve to be filled - in fact, I declared I would dismiss my desires and just enjoy what I had. It isn't as little as I'd suppose, truly. But here we are, a month or so later. I'm not positive on the date of that post, but, in such and such time frame,...
May 1st, 2013 at 10:32pm

Another.

We are never, ever, ever, getting back together!I really wonder what the people who've ever read a single entry by me think of the person behind the blog. “Kittenbonez.” Sadism, masochism, depression, desperation. All that good shit. But hey. I'm Trevor and I'm just a bag full of fucking goodies. I love me. Hate me, but I love me because if anyone else was me, they'd fuck way too much shit up....
March 22nd, 2013 at 08:13am

Bleeding out works.

2012 has succeeded in being the worst year I've ever had in a subjective fashion. Objectively, I've had far worse. However, I've fucked myself over this year. I've changed in a way that I told myself I should not, and for what? Nothing, really. I've let myself go and, honestly, I'm a little ashamed of myself. Partially, I'd suppose. In others, I simply accept my decision and realize that perhaps...
December 6th, 2012 at 05:42am

Been Awhile.

I've been going through my previous journal entries, smiling. The spiteful type, really. The mocking type. I'm not sure I'll ever be enough for myself - if there is a point in time where I'll settle and say, 'and that's all there is to it.' I hope I never reach that place - you're as good as dead the minute you stop questioning yourself, and, of course, all the other shit. I talk about this boy I...
December 4th, 2012 at 08:56am

Bipolar, perhaps.

I think I may be bipolar – perhaps.Bipolar Disorder is genetic and runs in my family on my dad's side. My dad has BD and my half-brother also has BD, although my half-brother is the only one that takes medication for it. I never really thought if I had bipolar disorder before – I've always been emotionally unstable, however, I'd always assumed it was because of my natural temperament with the...
August 2nd, 2012 at 09:11pm

I don't know how to be angry, apparently.

You... kind of piss me off. I get it, dude, I get it, you're confused. You're not sure if you want to take the chance on me, you don't want to get your hopes up, despite the fact that I am giving myself to you because you think I'll take it back. I'm sympathetic to that, you know I understand that you've been hurt and you don't want it to happen again.Okay.But, holy shit, would it kill you to...
July 12th, 2012 at 08:05am

I Keep Making Mistakes.

Mistakes I don't want to take back. Really, I understand why I never wanted a relationship before or anything close to one. Actually... no, I don't. Before this, everything was easy. People were simple. They wanted to date me, they asked me out, I gave my response. I wanted to date someone, I dropped hints like a motherfucker and we'd see what would happen. Ha. Simple enough. I kind of wish I'd...
July 8th, 2012 at 08:50pm

I Want To Talk + Long Introduction

I have a tendency to alienate myself, even when I don't mean to.But hey. I'm Trevor, most days, but you wanna get more personal, my real name is a continent – guess it. I'm sixteen years old as of July 2nd. My passion in life is writing. I love it and I've been writing for six years now, since ten years old. I've suffered from depression since about that age. It's gotten better, which is pretty...
July 8th, 2012 at 04:25am

Kind of a Shame.

Blogging's pretty fun. Gets everything out. Anyway. It's 11:37 PM and it's probably going to take me an hour or so to finish up this blog post. It feels late. Feels like two in the morning but that's because I'm a little bit alone. My moms upstairs taking a bath and I'll be up to bed as soon as she's out. I've just been thinking. Contemplating. I've been thinking about it for about a month or so...
July 7th, 2012 at 09:17am

I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to do with myself. I feel like shit, you know? He can tell me how much I mean to him, I stopped him from doing this or that, he has special allowances for me, he loves me but holy shit, does it really fucking matter what comes out of his fucking throat if he fucking melts whenever he gets attention from someone else? And he likes other people so. I mean, what. And it's... fucking...
July 7th, 2012 at 07:04am