So over the last year I have had an issue with lying to people (really my parents). Well my whole life really...I tell them half truths because I can't handle the disappointment when I tell them what I have done. The last year and a half has been full of me failing classes at college and telling them I was going to class and that I would be fine. I guess I should have learned by now that I can't...

I had a thought today, I have thoughts often but this one hit me really hard. I was getting ready to leave for school and I realized I am just tired. Not a sleepy tired either, like I am mentally exhausted. I stood there putting on my pants and just started to cry. I don't really know what has been wrong with me since I came home from school in May (really before that...my heart borke and my mom...

I don't think anyone actually reads these things...why would they...who wants to read all about the shitty things happening in everyone else's lives when everyone goes through their own crap.That being said here I go...on a rant the is basically the same as the last one I wrote 21 days ago.I just don't understand why I keep letting him back into my life...he leaves and I keep a place for him to...

So I am sitting here in my bed thinking. For those that know me they know this is not really a great idea considering it usually means something is wrong.I am sitting here thinking about how the last time something like this happened (i.e. he and I are not talking or if we are it is a superficial conversation that holds absolutely NO importance and I guess we are talking just to talk) I basically...

Sometimes I wonder if anyone notices or even cares...I mean I have been sitting so close to the edge for the last two weeks and I don't think anyone cares...if they even notice at all. I mean I am so ready to just run from this all and I don't care how hard I have to fall (even if it means I never get up) at least that way if I fail, I fail on my own terms and I fail at doing what I want to do in...

So now it is over and it never really started...I don't know exactly how I feel. I sit here and I know that four weeks ago I was crying I've my broken heart caused by you but now things are so different than they were. You got sick and as my heart was yours so was my compassion...so now I am taking care of you and I thought I was doing well but as of right now I just don't know...am I as fine as I...

Everywhere I look you are there...even in my own room. I can't seem to escape you or at least a memory of you. I look around my room and I see the smallest things that remind me of you. The matching stuffed frog, the fish net from our "son," even my bed because you have recently made it a habit to sleep in my bed. Everything in here has the possibility to hurt me even more than you do because the...

Today you would have been 19. I don't know why you decided to leave us and I don't think I will ever know. I'm also pretty sure two years after the fact it doesn't really matter why, it won't change us missing you anyways. All I know is that I see your face everyday and my heart breaks for those who loved you and knew you better than I did. See I didn't really know you at all. I miss the fact that...

"Hold me up and don't let goI've had enoughI'm tired of breathingTired of feelingTired of looking at the past for meaningTired of runningTired of searchingTired of tryingBut I'm not tired of you"-The Exies (Tired of You)Heard this song for the first time today and it hit home. I realized this morning when I woke up that today marks the one year anniversary of the death of my grandfather and that...

Do you ever feel like you do SO much less than you are supposed to do? Like what you do in life is not important and that we are meant for so much more? I don't know if this is a normal thing to feel but this is what has been on my mind for a while now. What if I don't take enough risks, what if I don't do enough to make a difference in this world? I was just watching Doctor Who (series 1 the...