I want to write, and update my stories. I really want to. And I'm trying not to beat myself up right now.Honestly, I'm not sure how to explain what I'm feeling. I just don't feel like doing anything. I want to do things, like write and update my stuff. But, a part of me wants to just lay in bed and cry. And I loathe this feeling.One day down, twenty nine to go... I just want my husband to come...

"That sounds like a miserable life to live..."Yeah, it is. Life is not exactly fantastic when you cannot explain to anyone, especially yourself, why you feel like crying, or why you aren't smiling.Actually, life gets old when this happens. When it feels like you're just doing the same thing; over and over and over... it takes a toll on your mind.Life is not exactly fantastic when it feels like no...

To kick off my Spring break vacation this year, I left on Friday night to drive almost 200 miles and stay with my sister for a few days. Now, my sister is a newlywed. She has been with her husband for a total of four months, married a total of one. (I won't even get into discussing her poor choices. It's just too much.)Anyway, I stay from Friday night to Sunday night. The entire time I am there,...

I just can't help it, though.My entire life, I've been told that I need to find happiness in myself before I can be happy with another person. Generally, especially on my good days, I like to think that I'm happy with myself and my life. To spite everything I've been through, I'm still here and I'm still a strong person. That's a feat in itself, right? Within the past year, I've changed, and grown...

How stupid and childish of me... to actually think it was a good idea to just let you in, past the walls I've worked so hard to build up for the past seven years. I have always had a very good reason for keeping people out. But, congratulations: you've proven my theory correct.And, you know what? That's fine.I'm actually very appreciative of what you've done for me. You've made me a stronger...

I never really wanted to grow up. It was never really a choice for me, either.It was something that I was forced to do, but no one ever came out and told me I had to. But I always knew what was expected of me.I didn’t have anyone there to hold my hand and walk me through the whole growing up process. In a sense, I was kind of on my own.Now that I think about it, I’ve been on my own for about...

For you. For me. For everyone.Maybe it's because I trust you, or maybe it's because I like you. I don't trust a lot of people like I trust you -- it's not even outright trust. It's subtle, yet unconcealed at the same time. I'm not open with a lot of people, and while I'm not completely open with you... I'm as honest as I can be, without worrying about scaring you off. There are things that I do...

my life would be so much easier.You would know exactly what to say to make everything better. You would be able to help me through everything I'm being forced to go through. I would know your wishes, and be able to properly honor them -- not just guess what you would want, or ask someone else.I feel as if I wouldn't be so depressed, if you were still here. I wouldn't be in the current predicament...

And I don't think you were even trying.As soon as we got back from lunch, you came over to my desk and told me to go get my Statistics book so I could help you study for the test tomorrow morning. I told you it was in my locker. You said I should go get it. Then, you grabbed my hand and pulled me out of my desk. You said you'd go with me to get it, and dragged me out of the classroom by my hand....

"Does that disappoint you?" he asked, leaning into the table slightly.God, I wanted to say yes. I wanted to just blurt my true feelings and say yes, that he has no idea just how much it does. "No."I lied. But what else is new, right? I'm not going to tell the truth and face more teasing than I'm confronted with now. I won't do that to myself.Yes. It does disappoint me, a lot, that there will never...

You could tell that I was upset today after lunch, even though I wouldn't look in your direction because I was trying not to cry. In a room full of our classmates, you were the only one who attempted to cheer me up. You came over and asked me what was the matter, and I told you nothing. You started joking that I had the “runnies” and that you had them, too. You said I should go home and drink...