Saturday, October 15, 2011 1:36AMSo I'm basically just jumping right into this, 1 Its been almost a year since I've self harmed (yes this bullsh*t sounds attention seeking I know trust me its not one of those if you read on) and people have seemed sooo proud of me because of this , but I don't feel proud.Once I stopped self harming ( Cutting , burning and starving - just to clear that up) I...

So it seems to be I became so obsessed with the idea of one day finally being one of the 'pretty girls' ruined everything I once was. After an abusive relationship of 3 years of not feeling good enough (blah blah blah cutting out the life story.)I wanted to prove to him how amazing I really am by becoming ‘hot’. But after all the effort I find myself thinking :People don't see me for my true...

There has to be something horribly wrong with me for me to still be single.No I'm not vain far from it. But the girls I see with boyfriends these days are not Just hideous outside but are so horrid on the inside. These boys all complain to me about how they want a girl that can be one of the guys but can also let him be with just his guys.Yeah I check that box.They want a girl that has confidence...

Now usually, I'm considered one of the guys so typically I go by 'Boy Code' Besides normally I understand their point of view so much better than us females.But of late I have been confronted by Girl Code.My only female friend that could even come close to being a "best friend" has basically eaten up my identity in order to date the boy I've had my heart set on for at least a year now.Me, I'm not...

What is death?What is with the human fascination with death?We question it;we create answers all on our own without really knowing what it really is at all.Realists/ Non-religious people say they accept death as just that.Death – Nothingness.I personally don’t think they comprehend the true extent of ‘nothingness’. It’s not just black, it’s not just sleep.You are just gone, bones in...

So, 5 minutes after he leaves on goes the music and the thoughts all rush around my head.This kid..This amazing kid, has been what my life revolves around for the last year and a half.I almost had him, I almost have him everyday..Me being the type of person that hates affection (unless its with the right person) probably contributes to distance he and I share at random times.I will forever be the...

I am just thinking about how pathetic I must be to still, after almost a year; I dream about my ex every night.I try so hard to just stop with the whole 'I miss him' shit. But honestly I can't help it.Every single time I make progress with getting past everything he'll suddenly start talking to me again.It's like I’m not allowed, or meant to let him go. I remember last time it was me finally...

Okay so I'm really confused about this whole "Conforming" crap.How can one sit there and say they dont conform? when others out there say that to...so doesnt that mean they conform to not conforming?say if the person who says they are different because they like different music and are vegetarians..they are conforming too arent they? I mean being a vegetarian mean you obey the whole "i wont eat...

I'm here to rant about the fact that males are assholes and should burn, except those good fewWhy the fuck is it that they think they can say what they want,do what they want and boss 'round whoever the fuck they want?It's shit how a male is alowwed the right to do that but when a female does it it's so different.In a world were we say Male and Female are now equal,us women can't help but want...