Soo ok, prom is fun, senior prom should be fun and special, well I don't have anyone special so I will ask a friend, not that weird. Well the friend I planned on asking is my ex, and i just happen to still have a little crush on her, its all good, no problems. Well now I found out, one of my other friends was going to ask me, until i mentioned asking my ex, and now I feel back cause I feel like I...

Soo ok, prom is fun, senior prom should be fun and special, well I don't have anyone special so I will ask a friend, not that weird. Well the friend I planned on asking is my ex, and i just happen to still have a little crush on her, its all good, no problems. Well now I found out, one of my other friends was going to ask me, until i mentioned asking my ex, and now I feel back cause I feel like I...

So its time to go back to no standards? I think so, honestly I am an incredibly lonely guy right now, like super lonely. And for the last like month or so Ive been able to keep my focus on one girl, but her new years resolution is to be single or something like, and its true she may break that, but its for some other guy so why should I care. Admitably I think of myself as having had high...

So Ive accepted something tonight, that I should have accepted a long time ago. If i have a thing for a girl, but there is another guy, ANY other guy, then I should just give up. I mean, I'm not that amazing of a guy, and I always aim higher than I should. And well, there is this one girl in particular, who I have had feelings for a million times, and as soon as I feel that were getting close, in...

So has my Christmas break been so far, okay i guess. Didn't get much for Christmas about 70$ and a video game. But we are poor, and already bought a laptop this year so i didn't expect much. But what really upsets me is I haven't seen any of my friends, I hear about people hanging out and I know I'm just not invited/wanted. But oh well, that was in the days before Christmas, I didn't expect any...

Sometimes I swear I should change my name to xxtheloseronthehillxx because sometimes that's all I feel like, a loser. No kiss for me, not cool enough to drink, no girl to call mine, super smart (Bad thing at my school), and hate myself. I could add more, but I wont. Semester is almost up at school and I'm pretty sure I wont be seeing any of my friends over break, who would want to spend time with...

I have so much on my mind now, and none of it is really happy.Number on is something that I had hoped to not really write on here, but this week on Tuesday, a crash occured including 5 of my high schools students. Three of them are now deceased, one is in decent condition, and the fifth is in serious condition in the hospital having just recently had surgery. I wont talk much more about it besides...

So there's this girl at school I know who offered me a cookie over the weekend when we were texting. well since I got the cookie after school, according to a few of her friends I now like her. So obviously when they accused me of this I said no no no. But I have a secret, I kinda do like her, but I like alot of girls, sooooo, yeah. I don't know, I just fall for girls to easy anymore, so I have to...

So I was talking to me ex about fears the other day, she just kinda brought the subject up. So she asked me what my biggest fear is (And then she told em hers but that's does not affect this journal). I had to think about it as it is not something I regularly consider, and I came up with what I believe mine to be. I believe my biggest fear in the world is loneliness. By this I mean I fear growing...

So let me tell you about this conversation i just had with my ex-girlfriend. She is also currently one of my best friends. So it started out with her calling me easy, ok wupty doo, that doesn't really get to me. then she tells me how I have super low standards, and I'm like, yeah, they kinda have to be with me, an then she agrees with that. So now shes telling em I ave to have low standards to get...

So this girl Ive been getting close to is at a college trips this weekend visiting her sister. And her talking about her wanting to got to college parties and stuff worries me, why? While most people tell me shes into me, I'm not at all sure. And, well, I don't know. I just wish I knew how she felt, people told me to wait, and I am waiting. But things are becoming more confusing for me before they...

So I thought Id submit a quick little journal update one me. SO I was at a friends house last Saturday getting real close to this one girl i like, and then there was this other girl. we will call them Girl A and Girl B. So I was real close to girl A, holding her in my arms and all that, but she freaked out on me when Girl B like jumped on me and started a pillow fight. She didn't freak out in...

So I haven't wrote a journal in a while, haven't been in a very positive mood. Basically a girl I really like and who used to like me no longer has feelings for me, and to make it worse I know its my own fault she no longer likes me. Basically I had a choice between her and another girl, and I chose the other one. Well that was a month or more ago, and the more I think about it, the more I know...

Sometimes I wonder to myself why I cant just make myself happy. Why do I feel like I need somebody to make me happy. And I don't mean a girlfriend necessarily, but a best friend, or a girlfriend too. I haven't really had a "best friend" in a long time. I kinda blame myself for that. I tend to not hang with my friends enough unless they invite me, otherwise I feel like I'm just a bother anymore....

Ok so today was a pretty nice day. Went to the first playoff game for the year, the team won 24-7, was a good game. Was nice after a season of winning constantly by 30 or more points, most of the game were boring because they would just keep scoring and there wasn't really any competition. Also spent the game with 3 of my good friends, felt a bit like a creeper though since I was the only guy in...

I don't know how to explain my state of mind right now, I miss being with my ex I guess. Me and her are still super close, and text almost as much as we did when we were going out. But I'm beginning to question exactly why she broke up with me. She said it was because she didn't think she could offer the serious relationship she thought I wanted. But I wonder if that is really it... yes I have a...

So today, started out good. Went to a chemistry thing in Chicago, loved it. Saw the Chicago museum of science and industries 2 story tall tornado, it was awesome. Then I came back home, and rushed to the band bus so I could see my girlfriend. Problem was she hadn't talked to me in the last day, and wouldn't return any of my texts. Long story short she broke up with me tonight, needless to say I'm...

So today was my girlfriends birthday and I had two gifts for her, One was a poem which is on this site, feel free to read. The second was my class ring. Various people who I have talked to lately said I could prove that she cared for me by giving her the ring, and if she took it then she cared. And I was going to give it to her anyway so it was a win win, right? Wrong, she wouldn't take it, I know...

So its that time of day again, to talk about the last day of my relationship and how I think its doing. And i think it almost ended last night/ She was talking about how she never wanted to go out with someone this year, and how she hates trying to make time and stuff. Granted when me and her were talking about this both of us were nearly asleep, and we tend to exaggerate when were tired, so I...

I don't know what to think anymore, besides that my girlfriend is bipolar. One second she will be all happy and romantic, and like half an hour later she will be walking away from me telling me that its none of my business. She is literally driving me crazy, especially wince recently she has been acting like she doesn't care at all, but I hope that ends soon and she goes back to being the girl I...